Chapter 1 " Okay"

I am staring at the ceiling thinking about my life. Definitely, I got bored from surfing in the internet and from watching tiktok videos.

" Kulang na naman tong boundry mo! " Nagising ako sa pag mumuni muni dahil sa sigaw ni lola. Araw-araw na lang ganito, paulit- ulit parang sirang plaka.

" Nag -boundry naman ako. Noong lunes lang naman ako hindi nakapag bigay dahil nga pina rehistro ko yung isang motor " Pag katapos ng sigaw narinig ko naman si Papa na sumagot.

" Wala akong pakialam! Umalis ka dito iwan mo yung motor! " lola said with so much anger. I heard her cursed and throw some of the kitchen utensils.

My heart is beating so fast as I experience this scenario once again. The feeling of loneliness and poverty. Sa bawat araw na dumadaan tila pinapa mukha sa akin, na MAHIRAP KA LANG. You don't deserve to live because of the lack of money. Worst is, if you cannot provide a money for a while people will ridicule you. Unfortunately, that people is your family. It sucks right?

Once again, I let my mind wander. Siguro bukas palalayasin na naman kami. Paano kali ako kikita? Makakayanan kaya namin? I'm just nineteen years old yet the eagerness to land a job is vehement. 

" Kunin mo yung mga anak mo dito! " I heard lola shouted to Papa. 

Sinasabi ko na nga ba mapapalayas na naman kami. So I started searching in the internet for online job. May nakita ako kaso puro related sa marketing. I sighed I don't have any idea about marketing because my course is Education. There are a lot of job opportunities I have seen but most of them requires a two to three years of experience. What do I expect?

I searched for more hoping that I could land a job today but who am I kidding? Napagod ako sa pag hahanap kaya naisipan kong I-chat si Maddy, my close friend.

Messenger

Athena: Hanap kali tayo trabaho? Bakasyon niyo na diba?

Maddy: uwu

A notification that pops up so I just seen her message too engrossed in wanting to land a part time job. I grimaced as I skim the job description and qualifications. What the heck is Copywriting? Apparently, the hope in my heart is gradually vanishing. May nag pop up ulit kaso sa f******k naman. I have seen one of my cousin's parents' post. Telling how proud they are about her. I feel the insecurity creeps in my bone twisting it. I closed the application and just lie on the bed.

Something crossed my mind, try ko kali yung Onlyfan sa tiktok? Ang dami ko na namang naiisip na kalokahan. However, my inner self is thinking about the good things OnlyFan can give to me.

I groaned. Nababaliw na ata ako sa sobrang kagustuhan kong yumaman pati pag patol sa matanda naisip ko. 

" Ate "I heard my little small sister calling me. Lumingon ako sa kaniya at nakitang namumula ang kaniyang mga mata. Maybe out of fear about the drama that happened earlier. I stretched out my arms to her and she runs while crying. My heart clenched at the sight of this innocent child seeking for a mothers love. If I will choose between granting her a life or not? I will choose the latter. Maybe people will think I'm the worst for thinking that way. However, isn't it more ideal than living with this kind of life? At an early age, I witnessed a disease put an end to my mother's life. In her young mind and body, she tends to experience the cruelness of the world. She doesn't deserve this. Tears pooled in my eyes but I stopped it. Wala akong panahong umiyak dahil ako na lang ang mayroon siya. We may have a father but his priority is his girlfriend not us. 

Unknowingly, my sister dozed off into deep slumber. I just let her and think about other job opportunities aside from selling my body.

After thinking about useless things I decided to go out. Maybe a fresh air can purify my sinful thoughts.

Tumawid ako sa pedestrian lane ng wala sa sarili. Sa totoo lang gusto ko ng mamatay. I am just kidding but the Almighty seems wanted to exhibit my morbid thought.

I heard a  screech from a car na tila ba pwersahan na huminto. Para syempre hindi bumangga. Pag tingin ko ako pala yung dahilan I shrugged not minding what happened.

" Hey Miss! " I heard a man calling me as I walk away from the pedestrian lane. Bahala ka dyan Miss mo mukha mo. My eyes rolled ewan ko pero bigla akong nahiya para sa sarili ko.

" Miss! Hey wait- Miss! " he called.

But I never look back what for? Siya na ba binigay ng tadhana para iligtas ako sa kahirapan? Hindi ako naniniwala sa love story. I once dreamed that one day a prince charming will come and save me. 

Pero ganon talaga no? Habang tumatanda ka nakikita mo ang realidad ng mundo. Walang prince charming, walang perfect love story because the men in the real world are all jerk and asshole.

Someone grabbed me and hold me still. He is panting hard maybe  from sprinting all the way from the pedestrian lane up to where I am right now.

What a magnificent sight. Ang gwapo yun ang pinaka unang salita na pumasok sa utak ko. The man in front of me is qualified to be in a GQ model. In fact, he deserves to be patronize by all the women. From his stance you can declare that he's screaming money not to mention his manly scent that invaded my nostril. Sa matikas na tindig ipinirmi niya ako. Ramdam ko ang init sa paghawak niya sa aking balikat still panting. I have clothes on but why do I feel bare? He looked up and oh boy his eyes are the most tantalizing orbs I've ever seen. Pinag taasan ko siya ng kilay not knowing what to say.

" Are you okay? " he asked.