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CHAPTER 35
Last Updated:
2022-08-25 23:08:57
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Satisfying Her Darkest Fantasies CHAPTER 36
She thought Derrick cared for her very deeply. Perhaps he had for a long time, judging by his past comments. But he hadn’t told her he loved her. Perhaps he was merely waiting for her to say it first. He’d already risked so much, and she could understand why he wouldn’t want to put himself out there before knowing exactly where she stood.If he could do so much for her and be so patient while she got her head together, the least she could do was take the first step and put everything on the line.But what if he didn’t believe her? What if it was too soon and too fast? Would he think she was so caught up in the moment that her emotions ruled all else?Her brow furrowed in concentration. Karla and Sophia both looked curiously at her but neither spoke, though question was obvious in their eyes.“I’ll tell him when we aren’t making love,” Sandra declared and then promptly blushed to the roots of her hair as she realized how far her outburst had carried.Karla and Sophia laughed and then S
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“That you never have to ask me for,” he whispered back. “But honey, it’s always been lovemaking from my point of view. No matter what we’ve done and will do, it’s always been with love. Always. That will never change.”He rolled with her, tumbling her to the bed even as he fumbled with his clothing, pulling and tearing at them impatiently as she lay on the bed waiting. His naked body covered hers, their legs twining, his erection cradled in the apex of her thighs.The words made a difference. She hadn’t considered how much, but it made all the difference. Now that the words had been spoken, there was an urgency—and tenderness—that hadn’t been there before. Not that Derrick had ever been anything but wonderful with her, but now there was so much more.He kissed her passionately, taking her breath away and then returning it as their breaths mingled. He murmured his love between each kiss, and she savored the exquisite sensation of feeling that all-consuming love again. She’d never belie
Last Updated : 2022-08-27Satisfying Her Darkest Fantasies CHAPTER 38
Derrick stared broodingly out his office window and replayed the morning’s events over and over. Had he overreacted? Part of him said yeah. The other part, the practical, unemotional part, said no, that he’d been right to be angry. And certainly he had no right to lash out at her like that, to hurt her so badly.But damn it, enough was enough. What should have been the best night of his entire life, the culmination of an impossible dream, had ended in his worst nightmare. Maybe it had always been an impossibility. Perhaps Sandra wasn’t ready—would never be ready—to let go.So where did that leave him? A week ago he would have vowed that he would be satisfied with any part of her. That he would wait, be patient for her to come around and hope that eventually she would be in a place where she could give him back in full measure what he was willing to give her.But when she’d told him she loved him, and then wept for her husband the morning after, he’d been seized by a fatalistic sensati
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“Explain what, honey?”“Don’t call me that,” she spat. “Don’t call me anything at all. I’ve been feeling so guilty because I’ve all but forgotten Clement. A man who meant everything to me. A man I loved with all my heart and who loved me every bit as much. I was married to him, Derrick, and you resent that. You’ve always resented that. You accuse me of continually putting him between us, but I never have. You did. You. Not me. You, damn it. You couldn’t let go because of your own insecurities.“Two weeks ago I had a dream. One that upset me greatly. Because in that dream, I had a choice. I could have Clement back or I could stay with you. And I couldn’t choose. God, I felt so guilty because I’d always said I’d do anything at all for just one more day with Clement. If I could have him back, I’d never ask for anything more. But I didn’t choose him. I hesitated. And he disappeared.”Derrick felt like throwing up. He gripped the bed rail even tighter as he listened to the words that would
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“I know I’m probably being silly and I’m overreacting, but I hate this uncertainty. I hate feeling like I don’t matter any longer. And I know that’s not true. I know he loves me. But he doesn’t show me like he used to. I’ve known from the day we met that I was his priority, and it makes me sound self-centered but I love being first and foremost in his mind. I loved that he always made me feel . . . special.”“And you don’t feel special now,” Sandra murmured.Karla slowly shook her head. “I’m not unhappy but I’m not happy either. And it’s eating me up on the inside. I keep wondering if this is as good as it gets and if I should be grateful he’s still with me. I don’t like how selfish I feel for wanting more.”Sandra leaned forward, ignoring the discomfort in her ribs. “You aren’t selfish,” she said fiercely. “Sweetie, you are the most unselfish, loving, giving person I know. Why don’t you talk to him about it? Lay it out just like you laid it out to me. I can’t imagine that he wouldn’t
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Karla was beautiful, smart. She had a smile that would light up an entire city block. And she was utterly submissive, entrusting her entire well-being to her husband’s hands. He’d be a fool to ever risk that for a piece of ass on the side.“Okay, we’re here,” Karla said. “Are you sure this is what you want, Sandra? It’s not too late to change your mind. We can take you back right now. Just say the word.”Sandra sucked in a deep breath. “No. I’m ready. One way or another, I need this to be over. Either we’ll have a new beginning or I’ll have closure, but either way, it ends tonight.”• • •Derrick paced the floor of his living room, agitation gripping him by the balls. Four days. Four goddamn days Sandra had been out of the hospital and he hadn’t so much as laid eyes on her. He’d gone to the hospital on the day she was going to be released, only to find she’d already been discharged into Ken and Karla’s care. He’d been fully prepared to sweep in, take over and not back down. He had eve
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She sent him another sad look that flayed his heart open. There was so much resignation in her gaze. As if she had no hope for their future. He’d have to have hope enough for them both.He brought her hand to his mouth and tenderly pressed kisses to her open palm. “My darling Sandra. How I love you. I love you so much it’s killing me. Being without you is killing me. I can’t survive without your love. I don’t want to live without it. Please give me—us—another chance. I’m on my knees before you, honey, and I’ll stay on them the rest of my life if that’s what it takes. Just stay and give me a chance to make it up to you.”He took in another deep breath, plunging recklessly ahead before she could respond. So she listened to everything he had to say.“You’re right. I was deeply insecure. You caught me unaware that night in The House. I hadn’t planned to make my move so soon and maybe it was me who wasn’t ready yet. I was forced to act or risk losing you, and that wasn’t an option for me.
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She smiled and then spoke a few words to Karla, assuring her that everything was okay and that Derrick would be over to collect her belongings. When she hung up, Derrick stood up and then eased onto the couch next to her, careful not to jar her.He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her against his side, his face buried in her sweet-smelling hair.“I missed you, honey. If there was ever a doubt that I needed you, there’s not one now. I haven’t been worth killing the last week. It’s been the longest week of my life and one I never want to experience again.”“For me too,” she murmured. “Let’s put it behind us, Derrick. We have so much to look forward to. The past only hurts us. It’s time to let go and move on.”“I couldn’t have said it any better myself,” he said, tipping her chin up so he could claim her mouth. “But one thing I’ll never let go of, Sandra, is you. I love you.”She smiled, warming him from the inside out. “I love you too.”And then he gently pushed her upward and once
Last Updated : 2022-09-04
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“How is it any different than sponsors fawning over you?”He scowled over his shoulder. “Big difference. Trust me.”At a loss of how to deal with his reaction to their economic disparity, she retreated to the opposite sitting area. Less than fifteen minutes ago they were as physically close as possible. Chase had looked her in the eye and assured her he knew her. Were those just babbled words uttered in a moment of lust?She’d shared every facet of herself with him. Ava never lied about her family background. Could he only deal with her when she was in his world? A transplanted city girl who had to rely on him for everything?It didn’t matter if he didn’t want her to be this Ava. Truth was, this was the real her.Chase had known her family had money.To think he’d been afraid a Hollywood actress was out of his league? That was a drop in the bucket compared to seeing her as the billion-dollar baby.He needed a drink. He correctly guessed which cabinet held the minibar and opened it, sn
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That forceful statement delivered in his masculine growl sent a curl of heat through her. Yes, she’d missed this sexual part of Chase because it was such an important part of who he was. “I wouldn’t dream of horning in on your territory.”They exited the plane and wended through the crowd at baggage claim. After Chase hefted their luggage, Ava led him to the area where private transportation companies waited. A man in a black sports coat stepped in front of another guy wearing a gray pinstriped suit. “Miss Cooper?”“Yes.”“I’m Gino. I hope your flight was enjoyable.”The young man attempted to take the duffel bags from Chase, earning a dark scowl as Chase increased his grip on the luggage. “I’ve got it.”“That’s fine, sir. The car is this way, please.”The heat and stench assaulted her as they left the cool comfort of the terminal. God. The noise didn’t bother her, but somehow she’d forgotten how rank the city smelled in the summer months—garbage, urine, grease and exhaust fumes.Gino
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Time passed in a vacuum of misery.After she heard the toilet flush for the third time, she curled her palm around the handle, praying he hadn’t started locking the door. The door swung open with a loud squeak.Chase sat on the floor, his face hidden in his hands. He said, “Get out,” in that dangerously low tone.She parked herself next to him, hip to hip. When he didn’t bark at her to leave, she placed her hand on his knee, wondering if he’d accept her need to soothe him.Try.“You want some water?” she asked.No answer.She counted to one hundred. “Chase? Do you need—”“I don’t need anything. Just go.”“I can’t.”“Don’t you understand? I don’t need you.”Ava ignored the sharp pang his words caused. “But I need you.”Chase slowly lifted his head and looked at her with red-rimmed eyes. “What?”The stark misery had her reaching for him without conscious thought. “Don’t turn me away. It’s ripping me up to see you like this. I need to help you. Tell me how. Please.”“You can’t.”“Can’t w
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“No. They haven’t told me anything.”“Did you call someone to wait with you?”“My boyfriend is on his way. I won’t call the rest of my family until I know what’s going on. I appreciate you coming. I know Ryan will appreciate it too. It can be a group effort to chew his ass for worrying us once they let us see him.”“Anything I can get you?” Ava asked. “A drink? Something to eat? A blanket?”Jackie shook her head and continued pacing.Chase wanted to bust through the swinging doors and get some answers. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he braced his shoulders against the cement wall, his stomach too queasy to pace.Time dragged. The click of Jackie’s heels competed with the beeping machines that echoed from the nurse’s station.Ava left him alone. She left Jackie alone too. The three of them were the only ones in the waiting room, but they might as well have been miles apart.The doors opened.“Jackie Ackerman?” a woman wearing blue scrubs asked.“Yes. I’m here. I’m Jackie.”The woman
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Once they’d reached Jackson Hole, Chase found a luxury resort and surprised Ava by booking a suite. She’d actually teared up when he arranged for two hours of in-room spa treatments and left her alone to be pampered.While she was getting massaged, he took his truck for an oil change and called his family to catch up. Maybe it stung a bit, their shock he’d contacted them without prompting. But Chase was determined to prove he could make changes in all areas of his life and stick to them.“What are you thinking about?” Ava asked.Chase grabbed her hand and kissed her palm. “How fantastic these last six days have been. Just me’n you seeing the sights. Hanging out with my friend. Then you rockin’ my world in bed and out of it.”She permitted a smug smile. “I did, didn’t I?”After driving through Riverton, Ava suggested they drive up to Thermopolis to see the famous hot springs. Then she surprised him and booked a room at a bed and breakfast joint that boasted a small private hot spring.
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“Well, that is your job. Take care.” And she hung up as Chase entered the room.“Who was on the phone?”“Hannah.” Fibbing didn’t feel right, but Chase would insist she go back to LA. Even when he wasn’t the only reason she’d said no. Her gaze flicked to her laptop. She’d made progress on her project and hoped to have something tangible to show Chase in the next week, especially since he’d mentioned her secretiveness about it today.“Is everything all right?”“Yes. But save the soda for later. Right now I need a beer.”At the rodeo grounds they scarfed down Indian tacos and drank beer. They chose seats at the top of the bleachers, away from the main crowd.Chase watched her digging in her bag. “I’m surprised you brought your cameras.”“My cinematography efforts haven’t been solely focused on you, you know.” She wanted to video Ryan’s ride. The long angle from the stands would be a nice contrast to the rest of the footage she’d shot.She fiddled with the zoom function. Looky there. Two
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He’d never seen Tell so mad. And what sucked is Chase didn’t blame him for his fury because Tell hadn’t said a thing that Chase hadn’t considered.But you discarded the guilt and did what you wanted anyway, didn’t you?“Look. I’m sorry.”“Goddamn right you should be. Does your family know you’ve done this?”He shook his head.“And why is that?” Tell let the pause linger. “Because you know it’s wrong. They’d tell you it’s wrong, and they’d kick your ass until you made it right. I look at you and I feel like I don’t know you at all.” Tell stormed off, stopping when he reached the metal fence by the livestock gate. His fingers curled around the rail and he stared across the arena, his posture vibrated with anger.Why hadn’t Chase considered he might run into his cousin while skipping from event to event in Tell’s jurisdiction?Because once again you only thought about yourself.Seemed to be a theme.Chase slumped against the corral and waited for the impending ass-chewing from his upstan
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“How’d you meet? Since you all have diverse occupations.”“I graduated from high school with Lance and he met Dylan through a friend.” When Ava remained quiet, he said, “What?”She reached for his hand and threaded her fingers through his. “Is that where you were before you decided to hide out at Ginger and Kane’s?”Yeah. And I felt like a fucking loser the entire time. Sitting alone in a place as impersonal as another damn hotel room. Wishing I could go home, but feeling like I didn’t have one. Didn’t have anyone I could really talk to either. Not like I’ve learned to talk to you.Rather that share that embarrassing memory, he brought her hand to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. “Smart and beautiful. How did I get so lucky?”Ava laughed. “And wily, because you’re avoiding the question, cowboy.”“Oh, I ain’t the only one who avoids questions.”“Meaning what?”“Meaning…why won’t you tell me what you’re working on so diligently? Since you spend hours on it.”She gazed out the window.
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“No way,” she sneered. “I hate that whining, puntastic drivel.”“And ‘Poker Face’ is what? Pure musical artistry?” Chase sneered right back.“Yep.” Ava cranked the music a notch higher.He turned it back down. “You’re starting to piss me off.”“The feeling is mutual.”How had they survived these last two weeks?Wait a second. Hadn’t Chase told her he’d rarely made it past the two-week mark with any lover? Maybe this was how he intended to end it. By picking fights.But you started it. Be the bigger person and let it go.“I wish I had your damn camera pointed at you right now so you could see your diva side, a side which you claim ain’t there, because darlin’, it sure as hell is.” Spit. Spit.That smart comment totally screwed him for her being the bigger person. “I wish I had my damn camera pointed at you right now so you could see how ridiculous you look with your mouth crammed full of sunflower seeds,” she mimicked. “Ooh, and the bonus? You’d get to hear how fucking irritating it is
