She thought Derrick cared for her very deeply. Perhaps he had for a long time, judging by his past comments. But he hadn’t told her he loved her. Perhaps he was merely waiting for her to say it first. He’d already risked so much, and she could understand why he wouldn’t want to put himself out there before knowing exactly where she stood.If he could do so much for her and be so patient while she got her head together, the least she could do was take the first step and put everything on the line.But what if he didn’t believe her? What if it was too soon and too fast? Would he think she was so caught up in the moment that her emotions ruled all else?Her brow furrowed in concentration. Karla and Sophia both looked curiously at her but neither spoke, though question was obvious in their eyes.“I’ll tell him when we aren’t making love,” Sandra declared and then promptly blushed to the roots of her hair as she realized how far her outburst had carried.Karla and Sophia laughed and then S
“That you never have to ask me for,” he whispered back. “But honey, it’s always been lovemaking from my point of view. No matter what we’ve done and will do, it’s always been with love. Always. That will never change.”He rolled with her, tumbling her to the bed even as he fumbled with his clothing, pulling and tearing at them impatiently as she lay on the bed waiting. His naked body covered hers, their legs twining, his erection cradled in the apex of her thighs.The words made a difference. She hadn’t considered how much, but it made all the difference. Now that the words had been spoken, there was an urgency—and tenderness—that hadn’t been there before. Not that Derrick had ever been anything but wonderful with her, but now there was so much more.He kissed her passionately, taking her breath away and then returning it as their breaths mingled. He murmured his love between each kiss, and she savored the exquisite sensation of feeling that all-consuming love again. She’d never belie
Derrick stared broodingly out his office window and replayed the morning’s events over and over. Had he overreacted? Part of him said yeah. The other part, the practical, unemotional part, said no, that he’d been right to be angry. And certainly he had no right to lash out at her like that, to hurt her so badly.But damn it, enough was enough. What should have been the best night of his entire life, the culmination of an impossible dream, had ended in his worst nightmare. Maybe it had always been an impossibility. Perhaps Sandra wasn’t ready—would never be ready—to let go.So where did that leave him? A week ago he would have vowed that he would be satisfied with any part of her. That he would wait, be patient for her to come around and hope that eventually she would be in a place where she could give him back in full measure what he was willing to give her.But when she’d told him she loved him, and then wept for her husband the morning after, he’d been seized by a fatalistic sensati
“Explain what, honey?”“Don’t call me that,” she spat. “Don’t call me anything at all. I’ve been feeling so guilty because I’ve all but forgotten Clement. A man who meant everything to me. A man I loved with all my heart and who loved me every bit as much. I was married to him, Derrick, and you resent that. You’ve always resented that. You accuse me of continually putting him between us, but I never have. You did. You. Not me. You, damn it. You couldn’t let go because of your own insecurities.“Two weeks ago I had a dream. One that upset me greatly. Because in that dream, I had a choice. I could have Clement back or I could stay with you. And I couldn’t choose. God, I felt so guilty because I’d always said I’d do anything at all for just one more day with Clement. If I could have him back, I’d never ask for anything more. But I didn’t choose him. I hesitated. And he disappeared.”Derrick felt like throwing up. He gripped the bed rail even tighter as he listened to the words that would
“I know I’m probably being silly and I’m overreacting, but I hate this uncertainty. I hate feeling like I don’t matter any longer. And I know that’s not true. I know he loves me. But he doesn’t show me like he used to. I’ve known from the day we met that I was his priority, and it makes me sound self-centered but I love being first and foremost in his mind. I loved that he always made me feel . . . special.”“And you don’t feel special now,” Sandra murmured.Karla slowly shook her head. “I’m not unhappy but I’m not happy either. And it’s eating me up on the inside. I keep wondering if this is as good as it gets and if I should be grateful he’s still with me. I don’t like how selfish I feel for wanting more.”Sandra leaned forward, ignoring the discomfort in her ribs. “You aren’t selfish,” she said fiercely. “Sweetie, you are the most unselfish, loving, giving person I know. Why don’t you talk to him about it? Lay it out just like you laid it out to me. I can’t imagine that he wouldn’t
Karla was beautiful, smart. She had a smile that would light up an entire city block. And she was utterly submissive, entrusting her entire well-being to her husband’s hands. He’d be a fool to ever risk that for a piece of ass on the side.“Okay, we’re here,” Karla said. “Are you sure this is what you want, Sandra? It’s not too late to change your mind. We can take you back right now. Just say the word.”Sandra sucked in a deep breath. “No. I’m ready. One way or another, I need this to be over. Either we’ll have a new beginning or I’ll have closure, but either way, it ends tonight.”• • •Derrick paced the floor of his living room, agitation gripping him by the balls. Four days. Four goddamn days Sandra had been out of the hospital and he hadn’t so much as laid eyes on her. He’d gone to the hospital on the day she was going to be released, only to find she’d already been discharged into Ken and Karla’s care. He’d been fully prepared to sweep in, take over and not back down. He had eve
She sent him another sad look that flayed his heart open. There was so much resignation in her gaze. As if she had no hope for their future. He’d have to have hope enough for them both.He brought her hand to his mouth and tenderly pressed kisses to her open palm. “My darling Sandra. How I love you. I love you so much it’s killing me. Being without you is killing me. I can’t survive without your love. I don’t want to live without it. Please give me—us—another chance. I’m on my knees before you, honey, and I’ll stay on them the rest of my life if that’s what it takes. Just stay and give me a chance to make it up to you.”He took in another deep breath, plunging recklessly ahead before she could respond. So she listened to everything he had to say.“You’re right. I was deeply insecure. You caught me unaware that night in The House. I hadn’t planned to make my move so soon and maybe it was me who wasn’t ready yet. I was forced to act or risk losing you, and that wasn’t an option for me.
She smiled and then spoke a few words to Karla, assuring her that everything was okay and that Derrick would be over to collect her belongings. When she hung up, Derrick stood up and then eased onto the couch next to her, careful not to jar her.He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her against his side, his face buried in her sweet-smelling hair.“I missed you, honey. If there was ever a doubt that I needed you, there’s not one now. I haven’t been worth killing the last week. It’s been the longest week of my life and one I never want to experience again.”“For me too,” she murmured. “Let’s put it behind us, Derrick. We have so much to look forward to. The past only hurts us. It’s time to let go and move on.”“I couldn’t have said it any better myself,” he said, tipping her chin up so he could claim her mouth. “But one thing I’ll never let go of, Sandra, is you. I love you.”She smiled, warming him from the inside out. “I love you too.”And then he gently pushed her upward and once