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CHAPTER 38
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Satisfying Her Darkest Fantasies CHAPTER 39
“Explain what, honey?”“Don’t call me that,” she spat. “Don’t call me anything at all. I’ve been feeling so guilty because I’ve all but forgotten Clement. A man who meant everything to me. A man I loved with all my heart and who loved me every bit as much. I was married to him, Derrick, and you resent that. You’ve always resented that. You accuse me of continually putting him between us, but I never have. You did. You. Not me. You, damn it. You couldn’t let go because of your own insecurities.“Two weeks ago I had a dream. One that upset me greatly. Because in that dream, I had a choice. I could have Clement back or I could stay with you. And I couldn’t choose. God, I felt so guilty because I’d always said I’d do anything at all for just one more day with Clement. If I could have him back, I’d never ask for anything more. But I didn’t choose him. I hesitated. And he disappeared.”Derrick felt like throwing up. He gripped the bed rail even tighter as he listened to the words that would
Satisfying Her Darkest Fantasies CHAPTER 40
“I know I’m probably being silly and I’m overreacting, but I hate this uncertainty. I hate feeling like I don’t matter any longer. And I know that’s not true. I know he loves me. But he doesn’t show me like he used to. I’ve known from the day we met that I was his priority, and it makes me sound self-centered but I love being first and foremost in his mind. I loved that he always made me feel . . . special.”“And you don’t feel special now,” Sandra murmured.Karla slowly shook her head. “I’m not unhappy but I’m not happy either. And it’s eating me up on the inside. I keep wondering if this is as good as it gets and if I should be grateful he’s still with me. I don’t like how selfish I feel for wanting more.”Sandra leaned forward, ignoring the discomfort in her ribs. “You aren’t selfish,” she said fiercely. “Sweetie, you are the most unselfish, loving, giving person I know. Why don’t you talk to him about it? Lay it out just like you laid it out to me. I can’t imagine that he wouldn’t
Satisfying Her Darkest Fantasies CHAPTER 41
Karla was beautiful, smart. She had a smile that would light up an entire city block. And she was utterly submissive, entrusting her entire well-being to her husband’s hands. He’d be a fool to ever risk that for a piece of ass on the side.“Okay, we’re here,” Karla said. “Are you sure this is what you want, Sandra? It’s not too late to change your mind. We can take you back right now. Just say the word.”Sandra sucked in a deep breath. “No. I’m ready. One way or another, I need this to be over. Either we’ll have a new beginning or I’ll have closure, but either way, it ends tonight.”• • •Derrick paced the floor of his living room, agitation gripping him by the balls. Four days. Four goddamn days Sandra had been out of the hospital and he hadn’t so much as laid eyes on her. He’d gone to the hospital on the day she was going to be released, only to find she’d already been discharged into Ken and Karla’s care. He’d been fully prepared to sweep in, take over and not back down. He had eve
Satisfying Her Darkest Fantasies CHAPTER 42
She sent him another sad look that flayed his heart open. There was so much resignation in her gaze. As if she had no hope for their future. He’d have to have hope enough for them both.He brought her hand to his mouth and tenderly pressed kisses to her open palm. “My darling Sandra. How I love you. I love you so much it’s killing me. Being without you is killing me. I can’t survive without your love. I don’t want to live without it. Please give me—us—another chance. I’m on my knees before you, honey, and I’ll stay on them the rest of my life if that’s what it takes. Just stay and give me a chance to make it up to you.”He took in another deep breath, plunging recklessly ahead before she could respond. So she listened to everything he had to say.“You’re right. I was deeply insecure. You caught me unaware that night in The House. I hadn’t planned to make my move so soon and maybe it was me who wasn’t ready yet. I was forced to act or risk losing you, and that wasn’t an option for me.
Satisfying Her Darkest Fantasies CHAPTER 43
She smiled and then spoke a few words to Karla, assuring her that everything was okay and that Derrick would be over to collect her belongings. When she hung up, Derrick stood up and then eased onto the couch next to her, careful not to jar her.He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her against his side, his face buried in her sweet-smelling hair.“I missed you, honey. If there was ever a doubt that I needed you, there’s not one now. I haven’t been worth killing the last week. It’s been the longest week of my life and one I never want to experience again.”“For me too,” she murmured. “Let’s put it behind us, Derrick. We have so much to look forward to. The past only hurts us. It’s time to let go and move on.”“I couldn’t have said it any better myself,” he said, tipping her chin up so he could claim her mouth. “But one thing I’ll never let go of, Sandra, is you. I love you.”She smiled, warming him from the inside out. “I love you too.”And then he gently pushed her upward and once
Satisfying Her Darkest Fantasies CHAPTER 44
BOOK 2 OF THIS SERIES STARTS HERE:“YOU look like hell,” James Brown said bluntly from the doorway of Sophia’s office.She shot him a look that would have withered a lesser man. But James was frustratingly unaffected by her icy demeanor around him. He acted as if he didn’t have a clue that he bugged the shit out of her. But no, she imagined he knew exactly how much he bothered her, and he just chose to ignore it. Stubborn, impossible, completely overbearing man. Precisely the kind of man she avoided at all costs.Only he was her boss. That put another sour expression on her face. Clement had been her boss, he and Derrick. And then when her brother had died three years ago, Derrick had become her only boss and she had liked it that way.James should hire his own damn personal assistant, but he seemed perfectly content to dump his workload on Sophia and annoy the piss out of her in the process.“Gee, thanks,” she said in a tone to match her glare. “Nice to know I pass muster around here
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His grin got bigger and she swore this was the first time she’d actually seen the man smile. He was always so quiet and brooding. He didn’t frown, but he didn’t smile either. He always wore an inscrutable expression that drove her crazy because she never had any clue what he was thinking.Only now she got the distinct impression he’d been thinking about her. A lot.She mentally went through every single one of her favorite four-letter curse words and added a few with extra syllables for good measure.“Let me make this simple for you since you love a challenge. I’m not a challenge, James. I will never be a challenge because you don’t have a chance in hell with me. You’re out of your goddamn mind anyway. What the hell would a man like you see in me? According to you I’m scared of my own shadow. I’m timid, apparently I look like hell and have as many issues as People magazine.”He rose, ignoring her outburst, which only infuriated her more. He seemed utterly unfazed by her cutting remark
Satisfying Her Darkest Fantasies CHAPTER 46
The urge to dominate was powerful. It beat like his pulse, strong with anticipation, even as he knew Sophia was not a woman to dominate. She wasn’t a woman who’d submit. Ever. Not physically. But dominance was so much more than the physical trappings that often accompanied such a relationship. Emotional surrender was much more powerful, and perhaps that was what he craved when he looked into those shadowed eyes of hers.She needed a man who’d cherish her, protect her from any and all hurts, provide shelter for her. A place of refuge from the rest of the world. She needed a man she could turn to and trust unerringly in his ability to shield her from any threat. Even those that weren’t physical, but emotional, because those were hurts far worse than physical ones.She was infinitely fragile. So very vulnerable. He watched her. He watched her a damn lot, and when she didn’t realize others were observing her, she lost the icy façade and he got a glimpse of the frightened young girl behind
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“Honestly? Because I’d forgotten about it. So many other things happened over the years. It came back to me when you said you were helping out with Luke’s kid. So no, you’re not a doormat, Jessie. No matter what Luke led you to believe.”She killed her beer. “Luke and I were headed for a divorce anyway.”“I know.”“I loved him. I’da done anything, let him get away with anything, been anyone he wanted me to be, just to keep him.”“I know that too, sweetie.”She held her fingers to her eyes to stem the tears. “God, Mom. I’ve had time to think, a lot, too much time probably, but one of the hardest parts of losing Luke was figuring out I’d lost myself too. I let him define me. And when he wasn’t around to tell me who to be, I didn’t know who the hell I was.”Silence fell and Jessie welcomed it.Her mother cleared her throat. “And what about Brandt McKay? Are you letting him define you?”Jessie shook her head. “Which might seem at odds with agreeing to help him take care of Landon. I’m not
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Brandt sighed. “Ain’t no talkin’ you out of this?”“Nope.” She buttoned her coat and slipped on her gloves. “Just double check that everything is shut off before you leave. I’ll call you when I get there, okay?”“Okay. But first…c’mere and give me some sugar.” He curled his fingers around her lapels and tugged her closer.Then he proceeded to turn her inside out with one of his long, drugging kisses, chock-full of passion, sweetness and heat. Boy howdy did Brandt’s kisses pack a wallop. Her knees and her will went weak.Until he chuckled against the corner of her mouth. “You sure that didn’t change your mind?”“Nope.” She backed up and he released her. She reached for the duffel bag strap but Brandt firmly knocked her hand away and picked it up. She still wasn’t used to all his gentlemanly quirks, but she really liked them.But you could get used to them, couldn’t you?Yes.She opened her truck door and whistled. Lexie’s furry body was a blur as she leapt into the cab. Her tail wagged
Satisfying Her Darkest Fantasies CHAPTER 492
“Stay like this.” He slid her hands to the edge of the countertop, slipping his knee between her legs in a signal to widen her stance. “Perfect.”“Brandt—”“Trust me, Jess?”It took about ten seconds, but she nodded.“Good. Close your eyes. Relax.”She let her eyes drift shut, but she was in no way relaxed. His body shifted as he reached for something on the counter. Then his wonderfully rough hand glided down her bare stomach, stopping to cover her mound. His fingers stroked her cleft, teasing her folds until she felt herself growing wet, heavy with need.His fingers vanished. Before she could protest, a cool, round object connected with her clit and she gasped, “What is that?”“No fair peeking. Keep your eyes closed.” Brandt steadily dragged it up and down her slit in a smooth glide that followed the contour of her sex from top to bottom. He whispered, “Does it feel good?”“Yes.”His lips feathered hot, moist kisses across her neck. He circled her clit, never too hard, or too soft,
Satisfying Her Darkest Fantasies CHAPTER 491
She pointed on the page to a cow hiding in the bushes. “Remember what a cow says? Mmmoooo.” She drew out the word until it was about ten seconds long.Landon giggled.“Now Landon—” she poked his chest when she said his name, “—say mmmoooo.”“Mmmoooo.”Jessie clapped again. “Good job! You are gonna know all your barnyard noises in no time flat.”Usually Landon lost interest before they reached the end of a book, but tonight he stuck it out, although he was pretty squirmy at the end. When she closed the cover, Landon launched himself off the couch and ran straight to Brandt.How long had he been lurking in the shadows? And why was she thinking it was a damn crying shame that he’d gotten dressed?“Up!” Landon demanded.But Brandt wasn’t looking at Landon. He was looking at her with the softest expression. He broke eye contact when Landon bumped into his leg with another demanding, “Up!” and lifted the boy. “So I missed story time? Bummer.”Landon said, “Mmmoooo.”Brandt grinned. “That’ll
Satisfying Her Darkest Fantasies CHAPTER 490
“Just Spanish rice, nothing fancy.”He looked around the living room. “Landon asleep?”“Yeah. I know it’s probably crazy to put him down this late, but he was really crabby.”“Sorry I wasn’t here to help. I ended up stopping at Ben’s place on the way home and we had a couple of beers.”Jessie smiled, appreciating he’d told her his whereabouts. “No need to explain, but I’m glad you did.”Brandt crossed into the kitchen, lowering his mouth to hers for a blistering kiss. He tasted of beer and need.This sweet, hot man could wind her up in no time flat. She returned his kiss with equal fervor, loving his deep groan as she pressed her body to his and twined her arms around his neck. She felt him harden against her belly. Then Brandt clamped his hands on her butt, hoisting her up so her legs circled his hips.He walked to the bedroom, breaking the liplock as he set her on the bed. “Damn, woman, kissing you almost makes me forget I have a splitting headache.”His face was pale. And his eyes
Satisfying Her Darkest Fantasies CHAPTER 489
Brandt laughed. Ben always got straight to the point, which was probably why he’d shown up here.He took a long pull off his beer. “To be honest, I ain’t exactly sure why I’m here. I just got done talkin’ to Samantha, Landon’s mom, and she left me with a feeling I can’t shake.”“Like what?”“Like…maybe she’s gotten used to bein’ away from Landon and would like to continue that when they let her out of jail.”Ben whistled. “No shit?”“That’s the thing. Samantha didn’t come right out and say it, I don’t even know if she was hinting around or if I somehow misread it. And it ain’t like I can talk to anybody in my family about it.”“What about Jessie?”“Her stipulation was no information on Samantha for the duration of this temporary situation. So if it turns out to be a longer temporary situation than four months, and if Samantha decides she’d rather let us raise Landon…” He sighed. “Us, meaning me raising Landon with some help from Dalton, Tell and my mom.” When Ben lifted a questioning
Satisfying Her Darkest Fantasies CHAPTER 488
“Sounds like I have abandonment issues, huh? My ‘real’ dad bailed on me. Billy bailed on me. But with Luke…he mentally checked out of our relationship before he physically left. So I’ll argue it was different with him. He abandoned me before he died.”“Not every man is like that.”“All of them in my experience have been. So that’s all I know.”Another line of logic Brandt couldn’t dispute.“Jess—”Jessie held up her hand. “Please. No more. I have a splitting headache and the glare off the snow is making it worse. I need to close my eyes for a bit.”Brandt didn’t look too happy, but he said, “All right.”And she must’ve been more drained than she’d thought because she slept all the way to Brandt’s house.*****Brandt waited in the visitation room of the women’s correctional facility in Lusk, wondering if he looked calmer than he felt. It seemed a bad sign, Samantha requesting this meeting, especially when she’d indicated that she didn’t want him to bring Landon.The door opened and Sam
Satisfying Her Darkest Fantasies CHAPTER 487
“Billy.”He gave her an awkward hug. “Glad you could make it.” He glanced over at Brandt. “Luke. Good to see you.”Both she and Brandt froze.Billy wasn’t aware he’d made a misstep.“Luke died about two years ago, remember? This is Luke’s brother, Brandt McKay. Brandt, this is Billy Reynolds.”They shook hands.“Sorry about that,” Billy said. “Sometimes I think I’ve landed on my head too many times and my memory is goin’.”Or you don’t give a shit about what’s going on in my life.Acting like a ten-year-old much, Jessie?Brandt placed his palm in the small of her back. “Got time to have a Coke or something before you ride, Billy?”“Sure.” They walked to the concession area in silence.Well, besides Billy stopping every fifteen feet to chat with someone he knew. Not once in those dozen or so times did Billy bother to introduce Jessie to his friends. So by the time they actually sat down, Jessie was wound so tight that one more snip to her tightly held control and she’d unravel.Brandt’
Satisfying Her Darkest Fantasies CHAPTER 486
Evidently Brandt had no response for that.“So you goin’ to Gillette?”“Yes. How freakin’ pathetic is that?”“Not pathetic. Just hopeful things might change between you and your father, and darlin’, that’s a feeling I’ve been familiar with my whole life.” Brandt kissed the top of her head. “I can’t fault you for that hope, but I’m worried how it’ll affect you if this trip ends up bein’ another dose of the same old, same old.So, if you’re goin’, I’m goin’ with you.”Jessie cranked her head around to look at him. “Really? You’d give up your one free weekend day to drive to Gillette and sit in an arena that smells like the barn?”“I’m not givin’ up anything. I’ll be with you. That’s all that matters to me.” Brandt kissed her again, soundly.Any mention of his feelings for her made her wary, but Brandt did it every chance he had. That’s just the way he was.Hands roamed, breathing became hot and heavy as the kiss heated. But she didn’t break the connection, Brandt did. He muttered, “We’d
