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CHAPTER 40

Author: Shile
last update Last Updated: 2024-10-29 19:42:56

“I know I’m probably being silly and I’m overreacting, but I hate this uncertainty. I hate feeling like I don’t matter any longer. And I know that’s not true. I know he loves me. But he doesn’t show me like he used to. I’ve known from the day we met that I was his priority, and it makes me sound self-centered but I love being first and foremost in his mind. I loved that he always made me feel . . . special.”

“And you don’t feel special now,” Sandra murmured.

Karla slowly shook her head. “I’m not unhappy but I’m not happy either. And it’s eating me up on the inside. I keep wondering if this is as good as it gets and if I should be grateful he’s still with me. I don’t like how selfish I feel for wanting more.”

Sandra leaned forward, ignoring the discomfort in her ribs. “You aren’t selfish,” she said fiercely. “Sweetie, you are the most unselfish, loving, giving person I know. Why don’t you talk to him about it? Lay it out just like you laid it out to me. I can’t imagine that he wouldn’t
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    Karla was beautiful, smart. She had a smile that would light up an entire city block. And she was utterly submissive, entrusting her entire well-being to her husband’s hands. He’d be a fool to ever risk that for a piece of ass on the side.“Okay, we’re here,” Karla said. “Are you sure this is what you want, Sandra? It’s not too late to change your mind. We can take you back right now. Just say the word.”Sandra sucked in a deep breath. “No. I’m ready. One way or another, I need this to be over. Either we’ll have a new beginning or I’ll have closure, but either way, it ends tonight.”• • •Derrick paced the floor of his living room, agitation gripping him by the balls. Four days. Four goddamn days Sandra had been out of the hospital and he hadn’t so much as laid eyes on her. He’d gone to the hospital on the day she was going to be released, only to find she’d already been discharged into Ken and Karla’s care. He’d been fully prepared to sweep in, take over and not back down. He had eve

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    She sent him another sad look that flayed his heart open. There was so much resignation in her gaze. As if she had no hope for their future. He’d have to have hope enough for them both.He brought her hand to his mouth and tenderly pressed kisses to her open palm. “My darling Sandra. How I love you. I love you so much it’s killing me. Being without you is killing me. I can’t survive without your love. I don’t want to live without it. Please give me—us—another chance. I’m on my knees before you, honey, and I’ll stay on them the rest of my life if that’s what it takes. Just stay and give me a chance to make it up to you.”He took in another deep breath, plunging recklessly ahead before she could respond. So she listened to everything he had to say.“You’re right. I was deeply insecure. You caught me unaware that night in The House. I hadn’t planned to make my move so soon and maybe it was me who wasn’t ready yet. I was forced to act or risk losing you, and that wasn’t an option for me.

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    She smiled and then spoke a few words to Karla, assuring her that everything was okay and that Derrick would be over to collect her belongings. When she hung up, Derrick stood up and then eased onto the couch next to her, careful not to jar her.He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her against his side, his face buried in her sweet-smelling hair.“I missed you, honey. If there was ever a doubt that I needed you, there’s not one now. I haven’t been worth killing the last week. It’s been the longest week of my life and one I never want to experience again.”“For me too,” she murmured. “Let’s put it behind us, Derrick. We have so much to look forward to. The past only hurts us. It’s time to let go and move on.”“I couldn’t have said it any better myself,” he said, tipping her chin up so he could claim her mouth. “But one thing I’ll never let go of, Sandra, is you. I love you.”She smiled, warming him from the inside out. “I love you too.”And then he gently pushed her upward and once

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    His grin got bigger and she swore this was the first time she’d actually seen the man smile. He was always so quiet and brooding. He didn’t frown, but he didn’t smile either. He always wore an inscrutable expression that drove her crazy because she never had any clue what he was thinking.Only now she got the distinct impression he’d been thinking about her. A lot.She mentally went through every single one of her favorite four-letter curse words and added a few with extra syllables for good measure.“Let me make this simple for you since you love a challenge. I’m not a challenge, James. I will never be a challenge because you don’t have a chance in hell with me. You’re out of your goddamn mind anyway. What the hell would a man like you see in me? According to you I’m scared of my own shadow. I’m timid, apparently I look like hell and have as many issues as People magazine.”He rose, ignoring her outburst, which only infuriated her more. He seemed utterly unfazed by her cutting remark

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