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CHAPTER 34
Last Updated:
2022-08-24 20:38:45
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Satisfying Her Darkest Fantasies CHAPTER 35
She thought Derrick cared for her very deeply. Perhaps he had for a long time, judging by his past comments. But he hadn’t told her he loved her. Perhaps he was merely waiting for her to say it first. He’d already risked so much, and she could understand why he wouldn’t want to put himself out there before knowing exactly where she stood.If he could do so much for her and be so patient while she got her head together, the least she could do was take the first step and put everything on the line.But what if he didn’t believe her? What if it was too soon and too fast? Would he think she was so caught up in the moment that her emotions ruled all else?Her brow furrowed in concentration. Karla and Sophia both looked curiously at her but neither spoke, though question was obvious in their eyes.“I’ll tell him when we aren’t making love,” Sandra declared and then promptly blushed to the roots of her hair as she realized how far her outburst had carried.Karla and Sophia laughed and then S
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She thought Derrick cared for her very deeply. Perhaps he had for a long time, judging by his past comments. But he hadn’t told her he loved her. Perhaps he was merely waiting for her to say it first. He’d already risked so much, and she could understand why he wouldn’t want to put himself out there before knowing exactly where she stood.If he could do so much for her and be so patient while she got her head together, the least she could do was take the first step and put everything on the line.But what if he didn’t believe her? What if it was too soon and too fast? Would he think she was so caught up in the moment that her emotions ruled all else?Her brow furrowed in concentration. Karla and Sophia both looked curiously at her but neither spoke, though question was obvious in their eyes.“I’ll tell him when we aren’t making love,” Sandra declared and then promptly blushed to the roots of her hair as she realized how far her outburst had carried.Karla and Sophia laughed and then S
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“That you never have to ask me for,” he whispered back. “But honey, it’s always been lovemaking from my point of view. No matter what we’ve done and will do, it’s always been with love. Always. That will never change.”He rolled with her, tumbling her to the bed even as he fumbled with his clothing, pulling and tearing at them impatiently as she lay on the bed waiting. His naked body covered hers, their legs twining, his erection cradled in the apex of her thighs.The words made a difference. She hadn’t considered how much, but it made all the difference. Now that the words had been spoken, there was an urgency—and tenderness—that hadn’t been there before. Not that Derrick had ever been anything but wonderful with her, but now there was so much more.He kissed her passionately, taking her breath away and then returning it as their breaths mingled. He murmured his love between each kiss, and she savored the exquisite sensation of feeling that all-consuming love again. She’d never belie
Last Updated : 2022-08-27Satisfying Her Darkest Fantasies CHAPTER 38
Derrick stared broodingly out his office window and replayed the morning’s events over and over. Had he overreacted? Part of him said yeah. The other part, the practical, unemotional part, said no, that he’d been right to be angry. And certainly he had no right to lash out at her like that, to hurt her so badly.But damn it, enough was enough. What should have been the best night of his entire life, the culmination of an impossible dream, had ended in his worst nightmare. Maybe it had always been an impossibility. Perhaps Sandra wasn’t ready—would never be ready—to let go.So where did that leave him? A week ago he would have vowed that he would be satisfied with any part of her. That he would wait, be patient for her to come around and hope that eventually she would be in a place where she could give him back in full measure what he was willing to give her.But when she’d told him she loved him, and then wept for her husband the morning after, he’d been seized by a fatalistic sensati
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“Explain what, honey?”“Don’t call me that,” she spat. “Don’t call me anything at all. I’ve been feeling so guilty because I’ve all but forgotten Clement. A man who meant everything to me. A man I loved with all my heart and who loved me every bit as much. I was married to him, Derrick, and you resent that. You’ve always resented that. You accuse me of continually putting him between us, but I never have. You did. You. Not me. You, damn it. You couldn’t let go because of your own insecurities.“Two weeks ago I had a dream. One that upset me greatly. Because in that dream, I had a choice. I could have Clement back or I could stay with you. And I couldn’t choose. God, I felt so guilty because I’d always said I’d do anything at all for just one more day with Clement. If I could have him back, I’d never ask for anything more. But I didn’t choose him. I hesitated. And he disappeared.”Derrick felt like throwing up. He gripped the bed rail even tighter as he listened to the words that would
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“I know I’m probably being silly and I’m overreacting, but I hate this uncertainty. I hate feeling like I don’t matter any longer. And I know that’s not true. I know he loves me. But he doesn’t show me like he used to. I’ve known from the day we met that I was his priority, and it makes me sound self-centered but I love being first and foremost in his mind. I loved that he always made me feel . . . special.”“And you don’t feel special now,” Sandra murmured.Karla slowly shook her head. “I’m not unhappy but I’m not happy either. And it’s eating me up on the inside. I keep wondering if this is as good as it gets and if I should be grateful he’s still with me. I don’t like how selfish I feel for wanting more.”Sandra leaned forward, ignoring the discomfort in her ribs. “You aren’t selfish,” she said fiercely. “Sweetie, you are the most unselfish, loving, giving person I know. Why don’t you talk to him about it? Lay it out just like you laid it out to me. I can’t imagine that he wouldn’t
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Karla was beautiful, smart. She had a smile that would light up an entire city block. And she was utterly submissive, entrusting her entire well-being to her husband’s hands. He’d be a fool to ever risk that for a piece of ass on the side.“Okay, we’re here,” Karla said. “Are you sure this is what you want, Sandra? It’s not too late to change your mind. We can take you back right now. Just say the word.”Sandra sucked in a deep breath. “No. I’m ready. One way or another, I need this to be over. Either we’ll have a new beginning or I’ll have closure, but either way, it ends tonight.”• • •Derrick paced the floor of his living room, agitation gripping him by the balls. Four days. Four goddamn days Sandra had been out of the hospital and he hadn’t so much as laid eyes on her. He’d gone to the hospital on the day she was going to be released, only to find she’d already been discharged into Ken and Karla’s care. He’d been fully prepared to sweep in, take over and not back down. He had eve
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She sent him another sad look that flayed his heart open. There was so much resignation in her gaze. As if she had no hope for their future. He’d have to have hope enough for them both.He brought her hand to his mouth and tenderly pressed kisses to her open palm. “My darling Sandra. How I love you. I love you so much it’s killing me. Being without you is killing me. I can’t survive without your love. I don’t want to live without it. Please give me—us—another chance. I’m on my knees before you, honey, and I’ll stay on them the rest of my life if that’s what it takes. Just stay and give me a chance to make it up to you.”He took in another deep breath, plunging recklessly ahead before she could respond. So she listened to everything he had to say.“You’re right. I was deeply insecure. You caught me unaware that night in The House. I hadn’t planned to make my move so soon and maybe it was me who wasn’t ready yet. I was forced to act or risk losing you, and that wasn’t an option for me.
Last Updated : 2022-09-02
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“I believe you. I’m sorry I left the way I did. I had a lot of time to think between Omaha and Wichita.”“About us?”“That and some other stuff.”“Like what?”“I’ve been thinkin’ about safety issues and helmets and all that since Ryan died. And then after what happened to Dirk, I realized I wanna do more than talk about it; I wanna act on it. It’s a murky idea right now, but I have an opportunity to make a difference and I’m going to take it.” He kissed her just because he could, because she was here with him, where she belonged. “Enough about that. Tell me how long you were in LA, because Hollywood, I was headed there first thing in the morning.”“A couple of hours after you left, I got a casting call for a new sitcom and flew back to LA. I should come clean and let you know that my agent called me three times over the course of our road trip, after she’d lined up auditions. And every time I declined to go back to LA to audition. I didn’t know what it meant at the time, besides I didn
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Ava gave Hannah an arch look. “Besides I know how damn good the man looks in chaps?”“Smartass. But really, what’s the point after Chase’s meltdown last night?”Her heart seized, thinking about how Chase had lost it on live TV. She’d wanted to jump through the screen and drag him off to comfort him. Assure him that not every wreck would have the same outcome as Ryan’s. Assure him she’d be there for him no matter what.“I know you can hear me, Ava, so stop ignoring—”“Ssh… They’re giving the injury report on Dirk.”The camera cut to an interview with the head of the sports medicine team. When he finished detailing the bull rider’s injuries, the announcer asked his opinion on Chase McKay’s comments about mandatory safety helmets. The doctor looked directly into the camera and said, “Helmets save lives. Period.”The camera returned to the main announcers. Their on-air banter circled to rider standings on tour and current matchups with bulls for the final round. When the list of the fifte
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“After a few years, we started having you boys and… Well, my life was busy. Good. Happy. But I never forgot about that sweet baby boy I held in my arms for one short hour. Not a single day went by that I didn’t wonder about him. Pray his life was good. Pray he was loved.”*****Gavin’s eyes were on the shot glass he rolled between his fingers.“So I was shocked when your Aunt Kimi confronted me after your grandpa Jed died. She said one night Jed was loopy on pain meds and he told her that my father told him that I was pregnant. My father bragged to Jed I’d rather give the baby up than have it raised in a godless home as a McKay. Which was a total lie, but Jed must’ve believed it. After Kimi told me that, I finally understood why Jed never liked me and why he refused to live with us.”“Aunt Kimi never told Uncle Cal?” Chase asked.“No. But she told your Aunt Carolyn.”Gavin said nothing.“When did you tell Dad?” Ben asked gently.“Right after Quinn and Libby got back together.” She loo
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Quinn? Yes.Ben? Yes.His folks? Absolutely.And probably any other McKay relation he called.They were just that way. They might fight like cats and dogs, but when it came down to it, family was everything. And he would do everything to reclaim his place in his family.“Chase?”“I’m here. Just figuring the logistics. If I leave now, I can be there by noon tomorrow. Is that early enough?”“You’re really not gonna compete in the final round and you’re coming home?” Ben said with total shock.“Hard to believe, but yeah. I’ve realized there are more important things than those eight seconds I spend on the back of a bull. I ain’t gonna be the one who lets Mom and Dad down.”Ben was very quiet.“What?”“You have changed. I’m looking forward to seein’ you. Drive safe.”Immediately after Chase hung up he called Elroy.“You’d better not be calling me to bail you outta jail, McKay,” Elroy barked.“Good morning to you too, sunshine. I’ll keep this brief. I have a family emergency in Wyoming and
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“Me.”“And who are you?”Gavin took a deep breath. “I believe I’m your son.”****The crowd roared behind him, ready to party at the PBR on a Saturday night.Chase braced himself. The PBR’s newest female reporter, a fiery redhead named Lissa, stuck the microphone in his face as soon as he cleared the contestant gate. He’d been expecting it since he’d avoided an on camera interview last night. To ensure his cooperation, the cameraman blocked him in. Bastard.“We’re here with Chase McKay after that amazing ninety-one point ride on Devil’s Due. Congratulations, Chase, that’s gotta feel good to be back on top.”He focused on the woman and not the camera. “It does. Especially after an extended break and such a poor showing in Dallas.”“Tell us about the ride.”“Well, Devil’s Due is an ornery little cuss and highly unpredictable, so I wasn’t sure if he’d go into spin mode tonight or hopscotch around. Luckily I was able to stay with him no matter what he did.”“So the past few weeks you’ve b
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“Okay. Thanks.”“And if that doesn’t work? Go with plan B.”Her mother, businesswoman extraordinaire, always had a backup plan. “And what is that?”“Track him down, tie him up and force him to listen to reason. It helps if you’re naked. And holding beer.”“Ah, Mom. I don’t think that will work.”“It sure did with your dad. Good luck, sweetie, keep in touch.”Ava packed her bag and booked a commercial flight to LA.“Why am I so nervous?” Ava asked Hannah, two days later.“I’ll tell you what I think after the audition.” Hannah straightened Ava’s miniskirt for the third time.“That’s not helping my nerves.” She tried not to think that Chase would know exactly what to say to her to calm her down. The door to the conference room opened and a long-legged blond strolled out. “We’re ready for you, Miss Cooper.”Ava squeezed Hannah’s hand and followed Corporate Casting Barbie into the conference room. Well, at least this production company didn’t have the clichéd casting couch. Ava chose the c
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“No. And here’s fair warning: that is not a topic of discussion. With you. Or anyone else.”“Never thought I’d be happy to hear you say ‘no comment’ and mean it. Warms the cockles of my cold PR heart, McKay.”“You’re a riot. What else?”“The PBR is picking up your transportation expenses. You’re in New York now?”“Yeah.”“I can’t get you to Wichita directly—”“Book me into Omaha. I left my truck there. I’ll drive to Wichita.”“Done. What day you wanna leave?”“Today. As soon as possible.”Ava stared at him with shock.“The event isn’t for another couple days.”“I’m aware of that. But there are other things I need to take care of first.”Elroy sighed. “Fine. Contact me when you get to Kansas. And I don’t gotta remind you no press unless you’re escorted by a PBR media liaison.”“I get it. I’ll keep in touch.”“Good.” Elroy hung up.Chase returned to the bedroom and picked up his bag.“You’re leaving? Just like that?”“Yep.”“No discussion. No yelling, no hashing it out?”“What is there
Satisfying Her Darkest Fantasies CHAPTER 570
Evidently he hadn’t realized she’d set up a goddamn camera in their room either.He hit the pause button, his head spinning, his gut churning, his thoughts focused on one awful thing.Betrayal.Yes, he knew she’d been taping all the fucking time, but he had no idea she’d been making a goddamned movie. The whole time they were together. To think he’d invited her to share his experiences on the road. He froze. Wait a second. He hadn’t invited her. She’d invited herself. Offering a convincing argument about wanting to see real life outside her poor, privileged upbringing.But Chase sure as hell hadn’t encouraged her to creep around, sticking that camera in everyone’s face. Capturing their private moments. Having no shame in using them for her own gain. For a woman who claimed to hate the intrusion of paparazzi, she’d become damn good at acting like one of them. She’d promised him she wouldn’t show her home movies to anyone.A new thought chilled his blood. Did Ava have footage of Ryan’s
Satisfying Her Darkest Fantasies CHAPTER 569
“So I’ll think of you whenever I wear it.” Like I’ll ever stop thinking of you. Ava tried really hard not to cry, but a couple of tears slipped free. The last man who’d given her jewelry had been her grandfather.“Ava?” Chase tipped her face up. “Ah, hell. Don’t cry. I told you that you can take it back.”She made a sound half-laugh, half-sob. “No way am I taking it back, McKay. It’s beautiful. Perfect. I love it. Thank you.”The guardedness in his eyes vanished. “You’re welcome.”Chase paced in the hotel room, glaring at his phone. He hadn’t minded that the fucker hadn’t worked at all yesterday, since he and Ava had spent the whole day in their room, most of it in bed after they’d returned early in the morning from the penthouse.Dammit. He needed to access his email. Nothing was showing up on his phone. And he’d been in such a hurry to get away from the sorrow in Nebraska he’d accidentally left his laptop in his truck at the Omaha airport.His gaze landed on Ava’s computer on the de
