She thought Derrick cared for her very deeply. Perhaps he had for a long time, judging by his past comments. But he hadn’t told her he loved her. Perhaps he was merely waiting for her to say it first. He’d already risked so much, and she could understand why he wouldn’t want to put himself out there before knowing exactly where she stood.If he could do so much for her and be so patient while she got her head together, the least she could do was take the first step and put everything on the line.But what if he didn’t believe her? What if it was too soon and too fast? Would he think she was so caught up in the moment that her emotions ruled all else?Her brow furrowed in concentration. Karla and Sophia both looked curiously at her but neither spoke, though question was obvious in their eyes.“I’ll tell him when we aren’t making love,” Sandra declared and then promptly blushed to the roots of her hair as she realized how far her outburst had carried.Karla and Sophia laughed and then S
She thought Derrick cared for her very deeply. Perhaps he had for a long time, judging by his past comments. But he hadn’t told her he loved her. Perhaps he was merely waiting for her to say it first. He’d already risked so much, and she could understand why he wouldn’t want to put himself out there before knowing exactly where she stood.If he could do so much for her and be so patient while she got her head together, the least she could do was take the first step and put everything on the line.But what if he didn’t believe her? What if it was too soon and too fast? Would he think she was so caught up in the moment that her emotions ruled all else?Her brow furrowed in concentration. Karla and Sophia both looked curiously at her but neither spoke, though question was obvious in their eyes.“I’ll tell him when we aren’t making love,” Sandra declared and then promptly blushed to the roots of her hair as she realized how far her outburst had carried.Karla and Sophia laughed and then S
“That you never have to ask me for,” he whispered back. “But honey, it’s always been lovemaking from my point of view. No matter what we’ve done and will do, it’s always been with love. Always. That will never change.”He rolled with her, tumbling her to the bed even as he fumbled with his clothing, pulling and tearing at them impatiently as she lay on the bed waiting. His naked body covered hers, their legs twining, his erection cradled in the apex of her thighs.The words made a difference. She hadn’t considered how much, but it made all the difference. Now that the words had been spoken, there was an urgency—and tenderness—that hadn’t been there before. Not that Derrick had ever been anything but wonderful with her, but now there was so much more.He kissed her passionately, taking her breath away and then returning it as their breaths mingled. He murmured his love between each kiss, and she savored the exquisite sensation of feeling that all-consuming love again. She’d never belie
Derrick stared broodingly out his office window and replayed the morning’s events over and over. Had he overreacted? Part of him said yeah. The other part, the practical, unemotional part, said no, that he’d been right to be angry. And certainly he had no right to lash out at her like that, to hurt her so badly.But damn it, enough was enough. What should have been the best night of his entire life, the culmination of an impossible dream, had ended in his worst nightmare. Maybe it had always been an impossibility. Perhaps Sandra wasn’t ready—would never be ready—to let go.So where did that leave him? A week ago he would have vowed that he would be satisfied with any part of her. That he would wait, be patient for her to come around and hope that eventually she would be in a place where she could give him back in full measure what he was willing to give her.But when she’d told him she loved him, and then wept for her husband the morning after, he’d been seized by a fatalistic sensati
“Explain what, honey?”“Don’t call me that,” she spat. “Don’t call me anything at all. I’ve been feeling so guilty because I’ve all but forgotten Clement. A man who meant everything to me. A man I loved with all my heart and who loved me every bit as much. I was married to him, Derrick, and you resent that. You’ve always resented that. You accuse me of continually putting him between us, but I never have. You did. You. Not me. You, damn it. You couldn’t let go because of your own insecurities.“Two weeks ago I had a dream. One that upset me greatly. Because in that dream, I had a choice. I could have Clement back or I could stay with you. And I couldn’t choose. God, I felt so guilty because I’d always said I’d do anything at all for just one more day with Clement. If I could have him back, I’d never ask for anything more. But I didn’t choose him. I hesitated. And he disappeared.”Derrick felt like throwing up. He gripped the bed rail even tighter as he listened to the words that would
“I know I’m probably being silly and I’m overreacting, but I hate this uncertainty. I hate feeling like I don’t matter any longer. And I know that’s not true. I know he loves me. But he doesn’t show me like he used to. I’ve known from the day we met that I was his priority, and it makes me sound self-centered but I love being first and foremost in his mind. I loved that he always made me feel . . . special.”“And you don’t feel special now,” Sandra murmured.Karla slowly shook her head. “I’m not unhappy but I’m not happy either. And it’s eating me up on the inside. I keep wondering if this is as good as it gets and if I should be grateful he’s still with me. I don’t like how selfish I feel for wanting more.”Sandra leaned forward, ignoring the discomfort in her ribs. “You aren’t selfish,” she said fiercely. “Sweetie, you are the most unselfish, loving, giving person I know. Why don’t you talk to him about it? Lay it out just like you laid it out to me. I can’t imagine that he wouldn’t
Karla was beautiful, smart. She had a smile that would light up an entire city block. And she was utterly submissive, entrusting her entire well-being to her husband’s hands. He’d be a fool to ever risk that for a piece of ass on the side.“Okay, we’re here,” Karla said. “Are you sure this is what you want, Sandra? It’s not too late to change your mind. We can take you back right now. Just say the word.”Sandra sucked in a deep breath. “No. I’m ready. One way or another, I need this to be over. Either we’ll have a new beginning or I’ll have closure, but either way, it ends tonight.”• • •Derrick paced the floor of his living room, agitation gripping him by the balls. Four days. Four goddamn days Sandra had been out of the hospital and he hadn’t so much as laid eyes on her. He’d gone to the hospital on the day she was going to be released, only to find she’d already been discharged into Ken and Karla’s care. He’d been fully prepared to sweep in, take over and not back down. He had eve
She sent him another sad look that flayed his heart open. There was so much resignation in her gaze. As if she had no hope for their future. He’d have to have hope enough for them both.He brought her hand to his mouth and tenderly pressed kisses to her open palm. “My darling Sandra. How I love you. I love you so much it’s killing me. Being without you is killing me. I can’t survive without your love. I don’t want to live without it. Please give me—us—another chance. I’m on my knees before you, honey, and I’ll stay on them the rest of my life if that’s what it takes. Just stay and give me a chance to make it up to you.”He took in another deep breath, plunging recklessly ahead before she could respond. So she listened to everything he had to say.“You’re right. I was deeply insecure. You caught me unaware that night in The House. I hadn’t planned to make my move so soon and maybe it was me who wasn’t ready yet. I was forced to act or risk losing you, and that wasn’t an option for me.
“Honestly? Because I’d forgotten about it. So many other things happened over the years. It came back to me when you said you were helping out with Luke’s kid. So no, you’re not a doormat, Jessie. No matter what Luke led you to believe.”She killed her beer. “Luke and I were headed for a divorce anyway.”“I know.”“I loved him. I’da done anything, let him get away with anything, been anyone he wanted me to be, just to keep him.”“I know that too, sweetie.”She held her fingers to her eyes to stem the tears. “God, Mom. I’ve had time to think, a lot, too much time probably, but one of the hardest parts of losing Luke was figuring out I’d lost myself too. I let him define me. And when he wasn’t around to tell me who to be, I didn’t know who the hell I was.”Silence fell and Jessie welcomed it.Her mother cleared her throat. “And what about Brandt McKay? Are you letting him define you?”Jessie shook her head. “Which might seem at odds with agreeing to help him take care of Landon. I’m not
Brandt sighed. “Ain’t no talkin’ you out of this?”“Nope.” She buttoned her coat and slipped on her gloves. “Just double check that everything is shut off before you leave. I’ll call you when I get there, okay?”“Okay. But first…c’mere and give me some sugar.” He curled his fingers around her lapels and tugged her closer.Then he proceeded to turn her inside out with one of his long, drugging kisses, chock-full of passion, sweetness and heat. Boy howdy did Brandt’s kisses pack a wallop. Her knees and her will went weak.Until he chuckled against the corner of her mouth. “You sure that didn’t change your mind?”“Nope.” She backed up and he released her. She reached for the duffel bag strap but Brandt firmly knocked her hand away and picked it up. She still wasn’t used to all his gentlemanly quirks, but she really liked them.But you could get used to them, couldn’t you?Yes.She opened her truck door and whistled. Lexie’s furry body was a blur as she leapt into the cab. Her tail wagged
“Stay like this.” He slid her hands to the edge of the countertop, slipping his knee between her legs in a signal to widen her stance. “Perfect.”“Brandt—”“Trust me, Jess?”It took about ten seconds, but she nodded.“Good. Close your eyes. Relax.”She let her eyes drift shut, but she was in no way relaxed. His body shifted as he reached for something on the counter. Then his wonderfully rough hand glided down her bare stomach, stopping to cover her mound. His fingers stroked her cleft, teasing her folds until she felt herself growing wet, heavy with need.His fingers vanished. Before she could protest, a cool, round object connected with her clit and she gasped, “What is that?”“No fair peeking. Keep your eyes closed.” Brandt steadily dragged it up and down her slit in a smooth glide that followed the contour of her sex from top to bottom. He whispered, “Does it feel good?”“Yes.”His lips feathered hot, moist kisses across her neck. He circled her clit, never too hard, or too soft,
She pointed on the page to a cow hiding in the bushes. “Remember what a cow says? Mmmoooo.” She drew out the word until it was about ten seconds long.Landon giggled.“Now Landon—” she poked his chest when she said his name, “—say mmmoooo.”“Mmmoooo.”Jessie clapped again. “Good job! You are gonna know all your barnyard noises in no time flat.”Usually Landon lost interest before they reached the end of a book, but tonight he stuck it out, although he was pretty squirmy at the end. When she closed the cover, Landon launched himself off the couch and ran straight to Brandt.How long had he been lurking in the shadows? And why was she thinking it was a damn crying shame that he’d gotten dressed?“Up!” Landon demanded.But Brandt wasn’t looking at Landon. He was looking at her with the softest expression. He broke eye contact when Landon bumped into his leg with another demanding, “Up!” and lifted the boy. “So I missed story time? Bummer.”Landon said, “Mmmoooo.”Brandt grinned. “That’ll
“Just Spanish rice, nothing fancy.”He looked around the living room. “Landon asleep?”“Yeah. I know it’s probably crazy to put him down this late, but he was really crabby.”“Sorry I wasn’t here to help. I ended up stopping at Ben’s place on the way home and we had a couple of beers.”Jessie smiled, appreciating he’d told her his whereabouts. “No need to explain, but I’m glad you did.”Brandt crossed into the kitchen, lowering his mouth to hers for a blistering kiss. He tasted of beer and need.This sweet, hot man could wind her up in no time flat. She returned his kiss with equal fervor, loving his deep groan as she pressed her body to his and twined her arms around his neck. She felt him harden against her belly. Then Brandt clamped his hands on her butt, hoisting her up so her legs circled his hips.He walked to the bedroom, breaking the liplock as he set her on the bed. “Damn, woman, kissing you almost makes me forget I have a splitting headache.”His face was pale. And his eyes
Brandt laughed. Ben always got straight to the point, which was probably why he’d shown up here.He took a long pull off his beer. “To be honest, I ain’t exactly sure why I’m here. I just got done talkin’ to Samantha, Landon’s mom, and she left me with a feeling I can’t shake.”“Like what?”“Like…maybe she’s gotten used to bein’ away from Landon and would like to continue that when they let her out of jail.”Ben whistled. “No shit?”“That’s the thing. Samantha didn’t come right out and say it, I don’t even know if she was hinting around or if I somehow misread it. And it ain’t like I can talk to anybody in my family about it.”“What about Jessie?”“Her stipulation was no information on Samantha for the duration of this temporary situation. So if it turns out to be a longer temporary situation than four months, and if Samantha decides she’d rather let us raise Landon…” He sighed. “Us, meaning me raising Landon with some help from Dalton, Tell and my mom.” When Ben lifted a questioning
“Sounds like I have abandonment issues, huh? My ‘real’ dad bailed on me. Billy bailed on me. But with Luke…he mentally checked out of our relationship before he physically left. So I’ll argue it was different with him. He abandoned me before he died.”“Not every man is like that.”“All of them in my experience have been. So that’s all I know.”Another line of logic Brandt couldn’t dispute.“Jess—”Jessie held up her hand. “Please. No more. I have a splitting headache and the glare off the snow is making it worse. I need to close my eyes for a bit.”Brandt didn’t look too happy, but he said, “All right.”And she must’ve been more drained than she’d thought because she slept all the way to Brandt’s house.*****Brandt waited in the visitation room of the women’s correctional facility in Lusk, wondering if he looked calmer than he felt. It seemed a bad sign, Samantha requesting this meeting, especially when she’d indicated that she didn’t want him to bring Landon.The door opened and Sam
“Billy.”He gave her an awkward hug. “Glad you could make it.” He glanced over at Brandt. “Luke. Good to see you.”Both she and Brandt froze.Billy wasn’t aware he’d made a misstep.“Luke died about two years ago, remember? This is Luke’s brother, Brandt McKay. Brandt, this is Billy Reynolds.”They shook hands.“Sorry about that,” Billy said. “Sometimes I think I’ve landed on my head too many times and my memory is goin’.”Or you don’t give a shit about what’s going on in my life.Acting like a ten-year-old much, Jessie?Brandt placed his palm in the small of her back. “Got time to have a Coke or something before you ride, Billy?”“Sure.” They walked to the concession area in silence.Well, besides Billy stopping every fifteen feet to chat with someone he knew. Not once in those dozen or so times did Billy bother to introduce Jessie to his friends. So by the time they actually sat down, Jessie was wound so tight that one more snip to her tightly held control and she’d unravel.Brandt’
Evidently Brandt had no response for that.“So you goin’ to Gillette?”“Yes. How freakin’ pathetic is that?”“Not pathetic. Just hopeful things might change between you and your father, and darlin’, that’s a feeling I’ve been familiar with my whole life.” Brandt kissed the top of her head. “I can’t fault you for that hope, but I’m worried how it’ll affect you if this trip ends up bein’ another dose of the same old, same old.So, if you’re goin’, I’m goin’ with you.”Jessie cranked her head around to look at him. “Really? You’d give up your one free weekend day to drive to Gillette and sit in an arena that smells like the barn?”“I’m not givin’ up anything. I’ll be with you. That’s all that matters to me.” Brandt kissed her again, soundly.Any mention of his feelings for her made her wary, but Brandt did it every chance he had. That’s just the way he was.Hands roamed, breathing became hot and heavy as the kiss heated. But she didn’t break the connection, Brandt did. He muttered, “We’d