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Chapter Twenty-Four
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2024-10-29 19:42:56“Then who deserves me, Sane?”
After hours of continuous thinking about that one single question, Sane finally found the answer, and when he did, he wanted to slap himself for not being able to answer the question immediately. The answer was very obvious, and maybe he thought about the question too deeply, making it hard for him to answer it.
The one who deserved Seleen was no one but herself. It wasn’t anyone else, but her. That was probably the reason why fate allowed her to survive in that accident because all of her life, she had been living for other people, for her father, and never for herself. Maybe it was a second chance in life that destiny had given her because for Sane, she deserved to start a new life. She deserved to move on from her cruel past. She deserved to live life to the full
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“Did you know that I also want to see Saturn up close?” she asked as they laid on the comforter, looking at the night sky where the stars were twinkling like little fireflies. That was the usual thing that they did, especially when Seleen had a lot of stories and thoughts to tell. Sane liked listening to her talk. Her voice would sometimes even make him sleepy as it was very soothing, and he was certain that there were times that he really did fall asleep, but she was fine with it, and let him be.He couldn’t even count how many times it could’ve happened, and just thinking about it was already making him ashamed of himself. That was why he chose not to think about it.Sane looked at Seleen who was still looking at the sky. She was tracing the stars using her fingers, and he couldn’t help but follow her
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For so long in his life, Sane thought that he understood girls. Well, they were still confusing at times, especially when he had girl friends. He had witnessed how they could easily change their decisions in certain circumstances, and how complicated they became sometimes. However, before he met Seleen, he thought he knew them better than other men, but it looked like being surrounded by girls wasn’t enough for him to completely understand them.He couldn’t understand what Seleen meant by what she said or whether there was really any hidden meaning behind it. The more he thought about it, the more his mind felt like exploding. It had been exactly three days since she said that, and since then, he hadn’t talked to Seleen properly again. Whenever he tried to go there, she would tell him that she wasn’t in the mood for visitors, and Sane, never wanting to for himsel
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Sane remembered Haniel saying that she wasn’t good around new people, and that was the reason why she didn’t have a lot of friends. When she said that, he was confused because as far as he could see, she had a lot of friends. She even had friends who were out of Sane’s circle of friends. That was why since she said that, he never knew whether she was joking at that time or whether she was really serious.Now, looking at Seleen and Haniel talking as if they had known each other for so long was making Sane think about what she said again. Sure, Seleen wasn’t a total stranger for Haniel since they had already talked before, but they weren’t that close either so it was making him terribly confused. Haniel was good around people. Maybe she did feel awkward, but she kept it to herself. That was why she was also a good leader. She was good when it came to handling peopl
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Sane needed to wake up earlier than he usually did because they needed to check the final touches of the event from the venue down to the details of the program. It was to make sure that everything would go on fine as it was crucial to do so. It wasn’t the student council’s responsibility alone as the foundation week was also a week-long event that even the faculty and staff were preparing for. He was just needed there because he was the president, and he needed to act upon his duties.It was no longer a strange thing for him to wake up that early as he would often do so because those were the times when he would review for his exams as it was the most effective thing to do for him.The sun still hadn’t risen when he left the house, and the morning breeze felt like the winter’s first kiss against his skin. He
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Sane had no idea who the person could be because things tended to be utterly unpredictable in his life, and most often than not, he would find himself in scenarios he never thought he’d be able to face and experience. Life was playful that way.The first person that he thought of was Illiana, especially when he remembered that she said that she still liked him even after what happened, but Sane didn’t want to assume that it was really her because he wasn’t the type who liked concluding things, especially when it involved other people’s feelings.He didn’t really know whether he wanted it to be Illiana or not, considering that they already knew each other, and maybe the situation wouldn’t be that awkward in comparison to other people.
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People had already called him handsome a number of times already, and some even called him intelligent. He had heard a lot of good things, compliments from other people, but he didn’t know why Seleen saying that his eyes were pretty seemed like the best thing that he had heard for so long. It seemed like it was the best compliment that he ever had in his entire life.When she said that, it left him speechless for a whole minute, and he didn’t even bother thinking whether he looked dumb staring at her like that. He just stared at her with his mouth slightly parted, allowing his brain to register the compliment that she just said.“T-Thank you,” he said after realizing that he had been staring at her for too long already. Truth to be told, he didn’t know exactly why she said that as he found his own eyes j
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His mother used to tell him that he had a way around people, and he was naturally an empathetic person. That was the reason why it was easy for him to get along with everyone, even when people literally had different personalities, and were taking different paths in life. He also remembered that she told him that his personality was in the middleline. That made him confused at first because he was still very young when he was told all of that.But now that years had passed and he was already older, everything that his mother said seemed to allow him to realize that maybe it was really the truth. Now, he was finally able to experience the circumstance where he was left to think about him as a whole because he had all the time to think about other people, but not so much about himself.He came to a realization that maybe, his per
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All of her life, Seleen believed that she was a mistake. Truth to be told, maybe it was really a mistake that she was even born in the world. Afterall, she was a product of an affair that shouldn’t have happened.She believed that idea as she grew up. That was why never did she ever thought of complaining about his stepfather’s behavior towards her. She thought that she deserved it, that she deserved to be hated because her existence was a mistake, and even when it had already affected her physically and mentally, she never opened her mouth to complain about it, to protect herself. The only reason why she didn’t give up even with her tragic childhood was because of her mother and sister who were so good to her that she even thought that they were angels themselves.As Seleen grew up, she didn’t have lots
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Losing Seleen was almost as painful as losing Ride, maybe because it happened almost at the same time, the girl didn’t even allow him to breathe before she left without saying anything. That day when Sane went back to the rooftop, and saw that she had already left with no trace that she ever lived there, he felt as if he had grown insane. For a moment, he thought that she was just a figment of his own imagination. He thought that he had already grown insane, and for the past months, he had only imagined the girl, that she was just in his imagination all this time. But of course, that couldn’t be possible because he still had the photo that they took in the photo booth back then, and his friends, Haniel and Illiana, knew about the girl as well. He wasn’t insane. He gathered a deep breath.
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What Sane really wanted at that time was to see his brother alive. He’d even kill to see him alive even for just ten seconds. He was willing to do anything just for him to be able to say his goodbye or to go to the past and watch his younger brother’s innocent face a little bit more. He wanted to stay by Seleen’s side, and cry on her shoulders, tell her everything that he felt, everything that was going on inside his mind. He wanted to tell her every regret that he felt, every wish, every hope that he had at that very moment. He regretted that he hadn’t spent more time with him, that he hadn’t asked him enough about the things that were troubling him, that he even felt ashamed to ask his brother every single thing that he should’ve asked him before. He couldn’t help but think whether doing all those things that he wasn’t ab
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When Sane’s father was sent to jail, and he saw with his two eyes how the police aimed the guns that they were holding at his head, he thought that that was already the most painful thing that he would experience in his life. When he saw his brother and mother nearly on their deathbeds, sick and had nothing to eat as they were shivering under the cold of that winter night, he thought that that was already the most painful thing that he would ever feel. When he saw Seleen crying, and hearing her pondering over death from time to time, he thought that he would never experience something more painful that what he had experienced at that time. But he was wrong. And the universe had a very bad way to slap him across his face how wrong he was. His mind, the moment he w
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Dreams about death were really unsettling, especially when it was the death of a loved one. Who would want to see someone dying in the first place? Even in dreams, it could still make people feel unsettled. Sane could no longer remember where he had heard that when people dreamt about other people dying, it didn’t literally symbolize actual death all of the time. Sometimes it meant other things such as the desire to close a chapter in life or problems that a person had about herself. There were literally a lot of interpretations that could be used to make sense of those dreams, and some would even argue that dreams didn’t really need to be interpreted because they didn’t mean anything. Even when that was the case, Sane couldn’t understand why what Seleen said made him feel utterly uncomfortable. It was like the idea of someone dying was creeping against his skin, making his hair stand. He d
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Seleen had a blank expression on her face after she heard those people talking about that thing that Sane had been meaning to talk about, making the guy feel various emotions on his chest as he stared at her countenance. What a play of events the situation was because he was still planning for the perfect time to tell her as he didn’t want to ruin the night for her. Not when she was so happy about the concert of a band she didn’t even know about. He didn’t have the courage to tell her in that circumstance because he didn’t want to be the one who would erase the happiness in her face. But it looked like destiny was really doing things for the girl to know, for her happiness to be replaced with sadness just like that. It didn’t even wait for the day to end. It didn’t even let her happiness settle. Sane couldn’t help but curse fate, but he knew, deep inside him, that most often than not, thing
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Sane wasn’t really fond of reading the news as he barely had enough time with his duties in life, especially now that his attention was already taken by the utterly alluring girl, Seleen Y. De Castro, and he wasn’t even complaining! In fact, he even liked it. He liked giving her attention, and he also liked being given attention by her. How great it was to be loved by her, to receive all of her little kisses now and there, to see her life, to feel her against his skin, everything about her was addicting for Sane. It seemed like the way he thought relationships had changed. Before, he thought that he’d never want to engage in a serious relationship unless he was already financially stable in life or when he had already done his responsibilities to his family. But when Seleen came into his life, everything changed. When he was given the chance to finally prove himself worthy of Seleen’s love,
Sane's Insane Chapter Forty-Four
Never did Sane think that a kiss would allow him to feel different kinds of emotions all at once. And it wasn’t even the kiss that he’d see in movies. It was just a peck on the lips that lasted less than a second, but he didn’t know why the single act, that simple peck on the lips was already enough for his week, his whole month, even his whole year to be complete. He could feel the hard thudding of his heart against his ribcage. Lub dub. Lub dub. He was just staring at her face that had now a bright shade of pink that could be seen even when the lighting wasn’t that great. And even when she was ashamed because of what she did, she still looked beautiful in the eyes of Sane. She was even more beautiful under the rain. It took Sane two min
