Chapter 8

My body still hummed with the memory of Damien’s hands on me, his lips claiming mine, the possessiveness in his every movement but all I could feel was shake and disgust at myself.

I immediately got a hold of myself, smoothened my cloth and exited the elevator even though my knees were still shaken and I could still hear his voice. I tried not to think of it all through the day while I got tasks done.

I hated him. I hated how he made me feel, made me lose control and the way I fell apart just by him looking at me. Most of all, I hated myself for letting him have his way with me. Again. I was stronger than that, more in control. But around him, I became someone I didn’t recognize, someone weak and submissive.

I let out a sigh and packed my things as I exited the office. When I got back to my apartment, I had nothing to distract me so the memories came flooding back into my mind. I couldn’t sleep and everything I tried to close my eyes, I felt the touch of Damien on my body, his tongue against my most intake part, the way he had looked at me- it felt heavenly and at the same time, irritating.

I tried to shake the feeling away but I couldn’t, the worst part was that I wasn’t irritated at the act. But how easily I had let it happen, the way I had been weak and my body had reacted to every of his touch and teasing. Even though I kept telling myself it was a mistake and I was never going to let it happen again, I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed and disgusted with myself.

I sat up in bed and leaned against the head board and let out a silent scream. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”

Damien was magnetic and everything about him just seemed to pull me into him against my will but it didn’t matter because he was dangerous, controlling and most importantly off limits. I had to keep reminding myself of that especially because he was Ryan’s father.

Ryan. Just the thought of him made my anger boil and I clenched my jaw. I had made a promise to take him down and I was determined to do but here I was, messing with his father and there was a high possibility of him getting in the way.

A thought suddenly popped up in my head and I sat up and pushed away my self loathe.

The elevator had a camera.

I started panicking and my heart fell into my stomach. Of course there was a camera- it was a corporate building. How could I have be so dumb? Damien and I had done something appropriate and in a well secured office as well, of course there would have been cameras. I face palmed myself, I groaned out in frustration and the thought of anyone seeing that- seeing me- made my skin crawl.

“No… no,” I mumbled to myself. “I’m definitely not going to let that happen.”

I laid down back in bed and forced myself to go to sleep. The next morning, I got up with only one task in mind. I dressed up and made my way to work.

When I arrived, I walked straight into Damien’s office with my heart racing and my determination in my steps. I barged into his office without knocking and he looked up from the documents he was going through.

He stared at me with a calm expression on his face, it almost looked like he was expecting me.

“We need to talk,” I spoke up, my voice was curt and sharp even if his eyes on me had disoriented me.

He leaned back into his chair, cocked an eyebrow and folded his arms across his chest. “By all means, Amanda. What’s so urgent?”

I shut the door behind me and walked further into his office. I took a deep breath to steady myself before I looked at him dead in the eyes. “There was a camera in the elevator,” I told him, my voice blunt and words straight to the point. “It needs to be deleted.”

His expression changed into one of amusement and he sat up before tilting his head slightly. “Why?”

“Why?” I repeated, incredulous. “You know why. That footage- it’s…” I paused, searching for the right word. “Inappropriate.”

A smirk made its way to his lips. “Inappropriate? I’d say it was more… passionate.”

I balled my hands into fists as heat rose to my face. “Dam… Mr Caldwell, this isn’t funny and I am fucking serious. That footage can’t exist, it must be deleted.”

He stood up from his seat, walked around around the desk and made his way to me. His tall frame was intimidating and I wished I never came to his office. I stepped back and away from him but he grabbed onto me and pulled me closer to him. He looked down at me with a dark expression and I couldn’t help but swallow nervously.

“And what if I don’t want to delete this footage you speak of?” He asked in a low, almost teasing voice.

I glared at him as every part of my body burned with anger. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing much,” he replied with a causal tone as he leaned closer into me, his breath fanning over my face. “It just want that it wouldn’t hurt for me to watch over and over again. Especially the part where you couldn’t stop moaning my name.”

What? The audacity of this man.

The room fell into silence as he looked at me with lust while every part of me burned with embarrassment and rage. The smirk on his face grew bigger as he probably thought I was going to agree to that stupid fantasy of his.

I pulled myself away from him and stepped back before glaring at him, my anger evident and radiating off me. “You are a disgusting man,” I spat at him with a shaky voice. “You’re a dirty man who is sick in the head. You’re also egoistic and you think everyone would fall at your feet and do whatever you want, whenever you ask for it to be done.”

“Look at you,” he said smugly. “You’re here saying all these but you’re the same woman who keeps allowing me to do these things to her.”

His words hurt and I wanted to hurt him back so, I took a step forward and walked closer to him, pointing a finger at him. “This ends now. Whether this is- whatever you think is going on between us- it ends right now. Don’t fucking touch me ever again, don’t bring up that night or any other time after that when addressing me and don’t you even think about me. Do you understand?”

The room fell into a suffocating silence and he just stared at me for a while, the expression on his face was cold and unreadable. Then he nodded once, his smirk disappearing. “Fine. If that’s what you want, Amanda.”

His sudden agreement caught me off guard, but I refused to show it. “Good,” I said, my voice firm. “Now delete the footage.”

“It would be handled,” he said to me in a cold and dismissive voice. “There’s no need for you to worry about it.”

I gave him a curt nod and turned to leave the office. When I got to the door, I stoped expecting him to say something but he didn’t so I opened the door and walked out.

I let out a deep breathe as I closed the door behind me and leaved against the wall. I was determined to stay as far away from him and focus on why I was there.

For the next week, Damien was cold, professional, and distant. He didn’t touch me, didn’t talk to me unless it was work related and he didn’t even look at me- it was like I didn’t exist. He kept our interactions strictly about work, his tone clipped and formal.

He was acting exactly like I had told him to- I had asked for it, I had thought I wanted it. But it felt… hollow.

I threw myself into my plans to take down Ryan, using every spare moment to try to gather information and refine my strategy. I kept telling myself Damien’s coldness towards me was a good thing and that it was going to make things easier.

But I caught myself thinking of him whenever I had free time. I just couldn’t get him out of my head.

“Focus Emma,” I whispered to myself. “He doesn’t matter. Only your mission does.”