Chapter 10

I was a trembling mess and I was still struggling to steady my breathing and gather myself. The cool surface of Damien’s desk beneath me felt solid, grounding, but my mind was chaos. I had let him have his way with me again, let him see me vulnerable and in a powerless state where all that was in my head was his hands on my body and the way he was pleasuring me.

I had shameless been aroused by his words and touched and I had lost control. This wasn’t me, I never lost control, I was never weak like Emma. I was Amanda and I was mad at myself once again.

I turned around and tried to loosen the tie that was still tied around my now sore wrist but Damien stopped me, leaned into me and bit gently on my ear. He whispered into my ear and he hot breath against my skin sent shivers all over my body. “Now,” he murmured, his tone dark and intoxicating, “kneel, take my dick out of my pants and suck it like your life depends on it.”

I became stiff and every feeling of desire that was once in me vanished as his words settled into my head. I slowly raised my head to look at him, my calm expression shifting to one of confusion. “What?”

“You heard right,” he replied me as he stepped away from me and loosened the tie that was on my wrist. He pulled the tie away and looked me in the eyes intensely. “Get on your knees, Amanda.”

Something in me snapped.

I stood straight even though my knees were still shaky, I adjusted and pulled my skirt down my body. My hands shook from anger as I smoothened the material before looking him back in the eyes. “This is over, Damien,” I said to him curtly, my voice was soft but it was full of determination. I was tired of whatever this was with him, I needed to get a hold on myself on focus on more important things and not the lust I was always feeling with him.

He furrowed his brows and looked at me with confusion written all over his face. “What do you mean?”

I willed myself to walk closer to him even though being so close to him was affecting me. “I’m done, Damien,” I said firmly, my voice stronger now. “This- whatever this is- it ends here. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want you.”

He stepped closer, his presence as overwhelming as ever, but I held my ground. “Amanda,” he began, his tone softer, almost coaxing. “Don’t do this. Don’t say what you don’t mean and come back to say something else.”

I shook my head as I kept staring at him and willing all my anger to talk to him. “No. I mean it this time. This is not who I am. I don’t want to be this person I am with you- someone who is weak, begs and does whatever you say. I don’t want to be involved in something that’s… that’s-“

“Intense? Consuming?” he interrupted, his lips curving into a faint smirk.

“Wrong,” I snapped, cutting him off. “This is wrong, Damien. I can’t figure out myself when I’m with it. And I can’t- no, I won’t keep doing this.”

His eyes darkened and something dark and unreadable flashes across them as he stepped even closer to me. “You’re running away from me,” he let out in a low and dangerous voice. “You’re running away from how I make you feel because you’re scared.”

I let out a small laugh, it was bitter and humorless. “You don’t seem to get it, do you? It’s not about you. It’s about me and no I’m not running away from you, Infact you couldn’t be more wrong,” I lied through my teeth. “It’s about my dignity and why I’m here. I can’t just let you treat me anyhow you deem fit.”

The room fell into an uncomfortable silence, the tension in the room was thick and suffocating. Damien clenched his jaw as he balled his hands into fists by his side and I could tell he was holding himself back from snapping at me. I had hurt him- his pride and ego had been trampled on.

Finally, I broke the silence. “I want to transfer departments,” I said, my voice steady despite the turmoil inside me. “Or I’ll resign.”

He pressed his lips into a think line as he looked at me with an unreadable expression. “Amanda-“

“I’m very serious,” I let out, cutting him off, not willing to hear whatever he had to say. “I’m not going to cause my mind. I need space, Damien. I need to get away from… this.”

For a moment, I allowed myself to believe that he would ask me to reconsider, try to convince me not I was so wrong. Instead, he gave me a curt nod as he made his face blank once again and giving me a cold glare. “Fine,” he said coolly. “If that’s what you want.”

“It is,” I said firmly even though I was a mess inside, I had finalized things and I would finally be away from him and the things he made me feel.

“Okay,” he replied sharply. “I’d contact the Human Resources Department and ask them to process your transfer immediately.”

I swallowed the knot that had formed in my throat, my anger finally simmering down. “Thank you, Mr Cladwell,” I simply replied him and he gave me a curt nod.

Without another word, he got out of my way and I walked straight out of his office without as much as a glance back at him. My knees were weak and my head was pounding like it was going to explode.

My transfer to another department was quick and smooth. Soon enough, I was in a new office with new tasks to do.

My new position wasn’t as demanding as being Damien’s personal assistant was but I was glad that I was finally able to get through way day without running into him or having to deal with his attitude.

I threw myself into work and hoped for the best while at it.