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2. Sawyer (Continued)
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2024-10-29 19:42:56“I don’t need babysitting Sawyer,” Phoebe complains. Of course. As always.
“It’s not babysitting. It’s guarding. It’s also not an option. Now go inside,” I bark. She slams the door in my face, muttering expletives before gentle, sobbing noises eke out from under the wooden door. Half an hour later, Eleanor reopens it and whispers, “Thank you Sawyer. You’re a good friend to us.” “Just following orders,” I lie again. It’s just responsibility to the pack. I’d do the same for anyone else. We’re not even friends. I’m fairly certain I’m her nemesis. Well in a few weeks she’ll be chasing full moon dances like the rest of them. Probably mated to someone easily bossed around like Dash or Theo. Phoebe Kharkov coming of age. Bizarre, considering she sometimes has the temperament of a five year old. I imagine when she isn’t scowling, cursing or running away, she could be considered a beauty. She's clever too when doesn’t shrink in on herself or resort to childish insults. Coming at me with every logical argument for leaving her alone. I feel sorry for her sometimes. Shaking my head, I settle in for a long night of leaning against a wall. The hours pass into darkness. The mood of the town curdles as rumours fly about. Turning off the mindlink has unsettled everyone. I’m not leaving this spot though, even if I can’t justify why. Especially when Phoebe tries to leave again. “Just move dickhead.” “No. You’re in here until Cillian returns. Where the hell would you even go right now?” “It’s none of your business!” I stand using my full body to block her in. “Just fucking move Sawyer!” and thankfully her punches are nothing like her twin sisters. Merely annoying rather than internally catastrophic. She even jumps up and pulls out my hair tie, just to try and get a rise out of me before Eleanor grabs her, she smirks with victory as I stand there looking ridiculous with my white hair tufted like a chicken. Just as Finn finally arrives, all in a flurry, asking for Naomi. Bianca Jackson has been checking on her but she’s juggling Maya and Aria too. “You keeping them captive?” he checks, but though he outranks me I’m not moving from this spot. The three sisters should have died today. Leona is gone but why risk the others? My hands are still covered in Phoebe’s blood from yanking out the metal shard. “Is that Finn?” Phoebe called from behind the door. “Finn, tell him to let me out! I need to see Naomi!” Finn gives me a confused look but a piercing scream from the packhouse sees him head off into the darkness to find his broken-hearted mate instead of asking questions. It’s not like Phoebe magically confides in me when I eventually get her to give in and come back to the packhouse. I’m not her relative. We haven’t grown up together. We don’t share secrets or talk about feelings. Ninety percent of the time it’s pure, resentful silence. The other ten percent she’s calling me a witless fuckmonkey wanker or some other inventive new insult she’s come up with. Leaning back against the doorframe, arms folded I try to think of something else that doesn’t involve Phoebe or burning flesh and screaming torment. Plus, Cillian will reopen the mindlink soon and orders will inevitably follow. It would be too easy to say Phoebe is just an idiotic brat. I’ve known enough of those. In fact I’m fucking one. Not often, but there’s nothing wrong with enjoying pleasure. Diane Jackson. I know I’m her second choice compared to Finn, but he’s too hung up on Naomi, especially now she’s back. Mate-bond woes. Phoebe hurls some more insults at me through the door but doesn’t try opening it again. "Are you leaving soon?" she checks. "Nope you're stuck with me tonight." "Okay," her answer as vague as can be. "You're welcome by the way." "What the hell for?" "Yanking that metal out of your leg?" I remind her, my head never really leaving the place where I held her shoulders and stared into her sad eyes. "Yes. thank you ever so much for scarring me." I sigh and give up. Keeping an eye on the passersby. I say nothing as Finn eventually gently guides Naomi out of the packhouse, Rami on his shoulders. Finn’s the closest thing I have to a brother. Not that we do anything other than take the piss out of each other. Getting him to fall through that roof was spectacular. Also gave me a damn good reason to hang out in Diane’s bedroom on the pretence of repair-work for a few afternoons too. The warrior men of the Shadowlands are my family. Even so, war changes things. Finn’s happy-go-lucky nature ended the instant Naomi walked out on him and their bond two years ago. Mine comes and goes. A few beers and I’ll chuckle and play pranks with the best of them. I’m just keeping the past at bay, playing nice. If Diane ever hinted she had feelings for me I'd be out of there. Maybe I make things more awkward for myself by trying to live without my wolfs involvement. By the time I’m summoned into Alpha Cillian’s packhouse office, dawn has long-since broken and it’s time to find out just what plans Fate holds for me.
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Resisting the Beta 4. Sawyer
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Resisting the Beta 5. Phoebe
Whoever said shifters don’t get hangovers are dirty, lying scumbags. They are painfully real. The instant dawn breaks, I flop out of bed, grab a towel, stick a dark blue, baggy dress over some exercise wear and vanish out of our house. Still, I was spied on the way by Dash and Kian. “Fun times Kharkov!” they called out, miming drinking actions. But they were smiling, a smattering of brown freckles dotting Dash’s nose and cheeks. Kian blushing as normal. Normally, they would pretend they hadn’t seen me and glanced the other way. I mimed a gun to the head, rolling my eyes and getting another laugh. /Well done!/ Huli chimed. “Nah, think of us, Phoebe. Shaw was sick on our feet on the run home!” “No way!” I joke. The happiness at having someone new to talk to other than Huli almost made me forget Riley. I head to the riverbank. The tyre swing I have spent endless hours mulling things over at. However, today, I have a different purpose. Untying my plaited hair, wondering wha
Resisting the Beta 6. Phoebe
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Resisting the Beta 7. Sawyer
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Resisting the Beta 8. Sawyer
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Resisting the Beta 10. Phoebe
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Naomi (Continued) “I meant to ask you something,” Finn murmurs sleepily as we watch yet another shooting star go by. “Did it bother you that we never had a ceremony?” “No…no it just never felt the right time, then we had been together so long it almost didn’t matter?” “It’s a shame. Your sisters had all promised to walk together.” “We did it for Matilda. If things had gone differently, we would have walked for Eleanor and Rhett, but it all broke apart. I'm just glad we all found happiness, even if it wasn't in the same town square.” “Did Sia give you an address for Eleanor?” “Yes but I left it alone in the end. She knows where we are. She’s made a choice a long time ago,” I whisper sadly, clutching my King’s hand tightly. I know every wrinkle and line in his muscular frame. I could make his replica out of clay in every pose. The feel of his body is a memory I constantly revisit. “I found my memory box the other day when we were packing,” I add. “I didn’t know you had o
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*** SEVEN MONTHS LATER*** PHOEBE It is strange when the life you thought you always wanted lands in your lap. Except they don’t feed your soul. I lecture students on human and shifter history. An expert in my bitterly-learned field. The contrasting versions of events. The dangers of automatically believing the only side of the story you have access to. The fact history is always told from the side of the winner. I stride the corridors, my wedding band and bumblebee pendant permanently part of me. But it’s not enough. Jane and Wren are so incredibly kind. The hours I've spent talking through Huli and those momths with them have been cathartic. Even so, they know Rising Star isn’t what I want. Not without Sawyer. Of course, it would have been ungrateful to protest at Alpha Finn’s decision. Two people voted for me to die. Including my own sister. Alpha Finn saved me whilst yanking Sawyer away. It’s been seven months, yet every night, I lie awake. I think of the same mom
Resisting the Beta Epilogue One
*** 7 MONTHS LATER *** ALPHA FINN “Alpha!” That fake-serious, minx of a voice forces me to pause. Not ideal when halfway across the Jackson’s roof, retrieving Rami’s misplaced arrow. Again. Considering he is meant to be an archery prodigy, he seems to fire it up into that thatched cottage’s eaves with annoying regularity. “This is your fault, Luna!” I shout back, fully aware of her laughing from the packhouse. When she sends a bolt of seriously dirty thoughts across our bond, I almost put my foot into the chimney. Thankfully, Diane is with Beta Tucker again, straightening out his boredom-driven drinking via pure seduction. "IT WAS ME!” Rami adds with glee. Naomi innocently claims the practice targets Rami uses simply must face the Jackson’s cottage. I don’t argue. Not when my girl slinks around in dark bodysuits that leave my hands twitching to wrap around her waist. I have no arguments, only desires. Any argument she has formulating just vanishes away at the soun
Resisting the Beta 45. Phoebe
My mouth drops open, but there is nothing to say. Nikolai doesn’t suffer the same issue. “Now just fuck off a minute-” but Cillian doesn’t even flinch. Zeke and Freya step forward, their eyes wide with surprise. "You haven't discussed this with us?" “Look, my father was never born an Alpha. He rose. He proved himself. Calm in danger, braver than any of his peers. Any Shadowlands Alpha should follow the same route. I haven't. I've made it this far by the skin of my teeth. So I want you all to endorse and support and give your backing to Finn. Alpha Finn Penkov and his Luna, Naomi Kharkov of the Shadowlands.” The only person to make a sound is Rami, who starts clapping wildly and shouting “KING FINN! King Finn and Prince Rami! Haha, I'm in charge!!” He doesn’t seem to realise everyone else is in complete shock. He’s just thrilled his favourite person in the world is getting a promotion. And by default, in his eyes anyway, himself. “Do you accept?” Cillian says, not really givin
Resisting the Beta 44. Phoebe
The truck ride certainly gave me time to think. For one, I am eternally grateful Huli was no longer with me. I don’t miss having a wolf. The agony she would have been putting me through had she still held residence in my consciousness made me instinctively reach for my wrist. The only sign of that former life, one that could be years ago instead of just a few months, is a faint, grey scar on my wrist. It used to be so red and angry. Now, it has settled down to almost nothing. Genevieve picked up on it whilst she came to say goodbye. “I know you’re scared.” “I am. But only because it’s what I deserve.” “Well, if it helps, Nikolai and I are attending this meeting too. Cillian has asked for Rising Star as well.” "Oh." That absolutely does not help in any way. It only means Matilda will have even less influence. It makes me think Cillian is preparing to make an example of me. Genevieve has been kind enough to lend me a cornflower blue and white gown. Its swirling blue remi
Resisting the Beta 43. Sawyer
Nikolai explained, in a much more brutal and dickish way than was necessary, that we only got one night's stay at White Forest Castle. After all, he has sworn to help Alpha Cillian and Zeke, the pair of them bound in a trio of voting and veto. I don't care. We have each other right now. Every day seems to be swinging us to the extremes, and now we are just waiting for the biggest and hopefully final one to go our way. “I think we need to switch our brains off for a while,” Phoebe sighed, our brown dust-covered bodies flopping onto the bed of our small little room. “I can’t keep thinking about next week. It will drive me insane.” “Cillian could just exile us. Or maybe be so taken up in making Heath pay that we are nothing to him. Matilda will have an influence.” “I killed my mother and put him, Naomi and Finn into a trance. I stole a child…” “Not you. Your fucking wolf. You were just the vessel,” I sigh, too weary to go round the grisly roulette wheel. Phoebe rolls herself
Resisting the Beta 42. Phoebe
Clutching his silver goblet, our nameless, very-well rested hostage was almost chirpy, insisting he had a brother in law in the next town he could call on for a ride. But Sawyer shook his head when the time came to abandon him in the dark. “No…no it’s not right to take this. Can you drop us at the border? Keep the truck.” “From here, your nearest pack is Rising Star?” “That works just fine,” Sawyer replied. Walking through the night, keeping away from the towns and villages, Sawyer found us fresh water to drink, before killing and cooking a fish over a small fire. I’m probably endlessly naive, but to me, it was a perfect night. Because finally, there was not a single obstruction to just being with Sawyer. The man who patiently explained how you can catch a fish bare-handed. Explaining why he purposely ignored one section of the river, walking another mile upstream. I said nothing when he stripped to his underwear to stand in the shallows. I whooped and laughed instead when
Resisting the Beta 41. Sawyer
I felt Phoebe’s fear rise at the sight of Cillian. I saw a chance. Our opportunity to finally put things right. I just need him to listen to me instead of immediately heading to decapitation. His wolf's eyes were entirely golden, burning anger at the forefront of his intent. Cillian didn't even attempt diplomacy. No Shadowland envoys to King Heath, not even a personal visit to Bridgend to ask if there was truth in any rumours. He’s ended up straight here, shifted into wolf form, and shredded his way through at least twenty human men. What if this isn't the first prison he's tried? What will be the fallout from the Alpha's desperation? I couldn’t get Matilda’s cell unlocked in time. The heavy collection of black and silver keys was impossible to gauge. With the gag still in her mouth, Matilda wasn’t coming to our aid anytime soon. Plus, I know how it feels to be obliterated by wolfsbane. Sluggish, dopey. She might not even believe this is even real if they’ve really pum
