Chapter One

The stench of cigarette smoke lingered in the air as Jade slid further back into the tattered armchair. She checked her phone once again, growing impatient as time seemed to move ever so slowly. It read 12:16 a.m.

Jonathan's plane had landed a few minutes ago.

Gazing down into the nearly empty glass, she swirled the amber liquid into a whirlpool, trying to imagine him quietly entering into their dark apartment. He'd lay his suitcase beside the doorway and then flick on the lamp resting on the entryway table, scanning over the room. Everything would be intact to the unsuspecting eye, sitting in the exact spot it was before he'd left for Minneapolis. Not wanting to disturb her, he'd quietly tiptoe to his office to catch up on any work he'd missed, assuming that she was soundly sleeping behind their closed bedroom door.

Jade smirked to herself at the very thought. What she wouldn't give to see the look on his face as he discovered their empty bed, where the linens remained perfectly made and her engagement ring rested on top of her pillow. 

She blinked the image from her eyes and turned her attention towards the front of the room. It was karaoke night at the bar she'd stumbled upon, and she watched in utter boredom as two young girls staggered up to the wooden stage. Their caked-on makeup and skimpy outfits did little to hide the fact that they didn't even look old enough to be in a bar. They nervously snickered as they shoved the lone microphone back and forth towards each other, daring the other to sing into it. Idiots. Jade rolled her eyes at their adolescent behavior and checked to see if Jonathan had texted her yet. Still nothing. Of course, she already knew he wouldn't be at the apartment yet. It would take forty-five minutes just for the taxi ride home, but she'd thought maybe he would've sent her a courtesy text to let her know that the plane had safely landed.

At that moment, the strumming of a guitar filled the room through unseen speakers, and the girls began to belt out the lyrics to a song by Jewel. They sounded awful-- off-key, and out of sync. It didn't take long before the crowd, unimpressed, went back to fighting for their conversations to be heard, inevitably drowning the girl's voices out.

Jade's phone buzzed in her hand, and maybe it was the alcohol, but she felt a tinge of bravery bubbling inside of her. She had been rehearsing a "screw you" speech in her head for hours now, and she couldn't wait to tell Jonathon exactly how she felt about him. She would make sure by the time she was done, he would feel like an imbecile.

"I've wasted years of my life trying to make you happy. I've done everything you asked, have given up everything... no, sacrificed. I've sacrificed everything for you, and in return, you threw it all away for what?" 

She shook her head, realizing her speech sounded pathetic. She needed to let the anger fester more and perhaps lay off the alcohol. It was distorting her thoughts. That wasn't the speech she had planned to tell him. She glanced at the phone and frowned. The notification was just an incoming email, nothing of importance.

She tossed back the last few drops of her liquor, puckering her lips at the bitter taste, and waved the empty glass towards the waitress. She was a nice older woman who thankfully didn't make small-talk and diligently stayed on top of her refills all night. Jade reminded herself to leave the woman a generous tip; she'd earned it after all.

"You want another drink, hon'?" The waitress shouted over her shoulder as she scooped up empty beer bottles from a nearby table and balanced them on her tray. Jade negotiated with the voice inside of her head that told her it'd be wise to pace herself. She didn't drink very often, especially not hard liquors. Jade hooked a thumb towards the exit before informing the woman that she needed to step out for some fresh air. The waitress couldn't hear her over the rambunctious crowd but nodded her head in understanding as Jade stood and grabbed the coat from the back of the chair.

The deafening mixture of clinking glass and overlapping chatter dulled as the wooden door swung closed behind her. The autumn air was crisp and drenched in the scent of a bonfire burning in the distance. The aroma carried Jade's memories back to her childhood, of overnight camping trips with her parents out in the Poconos. She knew then, who she needed to talk to at that very moment. It was hard not to let the guilt seep into her thoughts. Jade had neglected the relationship with her best friend over the years. She'd tried to convince herself that life had just gotten in the way, but the truth was she had put Jonathon ahead of their friendship.

Jade slid her jacket over her shoulders and pulled out her phone again. Twirling a strand of hair around her finger, she listened as the line rang on the other end: "Hello?" Marissa finally answered. Her voice sounded heavy, as if she'd been sleeping. God, Jade had missed the sound of it. The familiarity was an instant relief.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Were you sleeping?" she asked apologetically. Marissa had such an irregular work schedule that Jade never knew when she could call. Sometimes she worked dayshift, sometimes night, other times she worked double-shifts. Most of the time, Jade only knew this from F******k updates, a photo of Marissa in her scrubs with the caption:

Working another double, bring on the coffee!

"Not anymore. What's up?" Marissa mumbled into the receiver.

Jade plopped down onto a graffiti-covered bench in front of the building, avoiding a piece of used chewing gum smeared across the wooden planks. There was so much she wanted to say, but she felt like an ass just calling out of the blue and relaying all of her problems onto her. She let out a loud sigh, "I'm sorry to call you so late, but I could use a friend." The words came out only slightly slurred, and Jade hoped she wouldn't notice. Marissa was the only person she could call about this. The only other people she considered to be her friends weren't exactly the type you could bear your heart and soul to without judgment or them giving unsolicited advice.

"Uh, what time is it? Hang.. hang on," Jade could hear grunting as Marissa sat up in bed."Are you okay? What's going on?" Her voice was almost too low to hear. Jade plugged her ear with her index finger, trying to block out the occasional boisterous laughter seeping from the wall behind her. Am I okay? She repeated the question to herself, realizing she didn't know the real answer to it. Nothing about her life felt okay. She closed her eyes, trying to keep the tears from escaping. This wasn't how she envisioned the conversation going. She wanted to be there with her best friend. She wanted to be able to hug her, cry on her shoulder as she always had before.

"I'm okay," she sniffled, "I left him. I left Jonathan." When she opened her eyes, the tears began to fall.

"Wait; what? Where are you?" She could hear the shock in her friend's voice. Jade was still in shock about it herself. She never thought this would happen to her, to them. Jonathon and her seemed so perfect together. That was the whole point. She scoffed to herself at how blind she'd been.

Jade glanced up, searching for a street name, billboard, or a sign that could indicate where she was. The night sky seemed unusually bright. The moon hung low over the parking lot, reflecting a sinister glow over the rows of vehicles in front of her. Its complexion matched the rest of the neighborhood, eerie. There wasn't much to go off of; all the buildings were gray and ran down. She had definitely turned into the wrong neighborhood.

"I'm sitting outside some crappy bar in downtown Philly drinking my sorrows away," she shrugged, feeling slightly embarrassed. She knew that she shouldn't be. This was Marissa that she was talking to after all. It was the truth. Jade hadn't known exactly where she'd ended up. She had been in a blind rage, tears streaming down her face as she drove towards Philadelphia. It was the only place she could think of to go. She accidentally took the wrong exit and then got stuck in a maze of one-way streets. She pulled into the bar's parking lot so she could turn around but decided a drink had sounded like a better idea instead. One drink turned to two, and then three, and then she stopped counting. She stopped caring about what she should do.

"Okay, so you're not that far from me!" Do you need me to come to pick you up? Just tell me which bar..."

"No, that's okay," Jade interrupted her, "I just wasn't sure what your schedule was like and was just calling to see if I could swing by in the morning?" She tried to hold back her frustration, not with Marissa, but with herself. When did she turn into such a self-centered person? God forbid she call her best friend and ask how she's doing. No, Jade only thought of calling her when her own life was crumbling around her. After she'd gotten drunk and waited until midnight.

"Are you sure? I can be there in half an hour, forty-five minutes at most. Where are you gonna stay tonight?"

Jade smiled to herself. That was the Marissa she knew and loved. It didn't matter how much distance was between them or how long it'd been since the last phone call; Marissa would drop everything if she knew Jade needed her. "I'm going to stay at a nearby hotel. I'll be fine tonight," she reassured her.

"Alrighty then," Marissa yawned, her voice filled with exhaustion.

"Thanks anyway. I'll let you go. I have someone calling on the other line," she lied. She had nobody left, only Marissa.

"Okay, girl, call me if you need anything. Love you."

The chair she'd been sitting in all evening was now occupied by an intimidating biker who was sporting a patch-covered leather jacket and a bald head that was covered in a thick canvas of tattoos. There was no debating it; she'd have to find somewhere else to sit.

She quickly glanced around the room before sulking over to the bar, planting herself onto an empty wooden stool. Its uneven legs wobbled beneath her as she pushed away a nearly-filled ashtray. She flagged down the bartender and ordered a shot of whiskey on the rocks. She wasn't sure what else to order, but it didn't seem like a pina colada would be on the menu by the looks of the place. The warmth of the liquid rolled off of her tongue and down the back of her throat as she sipped it. The more of it she drank, the further her mind wandered to dark places. She couldn't seem to stop reminiscing about the events of this morning. Everything that had led her to this old, dirty, dank bar.

She had been startled awake by the doorbell chiming from the front room. She wasn't sure who could be at the door or why anyone would show up at such an early hour. Her eyes jerked towards the clock on the nightstand, there was still over an hour until she had to get up and get dressed for her hair appointment. She was only planning on getting a trim, nothing too drastic because Jonathon liked her hair the way it was. Jade's mind raced. She knew it wouldn't be a friend stopping by; no, everyone in her social circle was strict about following etiquette, which meant home visits were by invitation only.

Her first guess was Jonathon must have accidentally locked himself out. The afternoon before, he'd been in such a rush to get out of there; it wouldn't have surprised her if he'd accidentally left his keys behind. It also wouldn't have been the first time. He was very intelligent but could be absentminded like that.

Still groggy, Jade tossed the blanket from over her legs and staggered to her feet. "Coming," she shouted, not bothering to put on her robe. In her weariness, she'd forgotten the conversation they'd had the day before. Jonathon wouldn't be expected until later that night, but still, she couldn't think of anyone else it could be. She swung the front door open, instantly embarrassed at her exposure. She was standing in the doorway wearing a skimpy, silk negligee.

A frumpy woman stood across from her in the entryway, holding a large bouquet of roses. The woman was out of breath, beads of sweat glistening from her forehead as if the trek up the stairs had exhausted her. Jade glanced over the woman's shoulder, noticing the 'OUT OF SERVICE' sign that was still taped to the doors of the elevator. It'd been there for months.

Jade felt flustered, but the woman didn't seem to be bothered by her attire. "Morning," Jade reached for the bouquet, wanting to get rid of the visitor as quickly as possible. "They're gorgeous. I'm assuming these are from Jonathon?" she asked, already knowing they were. Who else would they be from? She held one of the delicate roses between her fingers and inhaled the center of it.

The woman looked down, scanning the clipboard with her index finger. "Yes, ma'am, enjoy the flowers. You have a good day now," she chanted in a raspy voice. Jade nodded and closed the door, pleased with her not-so-surprising gift. She couldn't wait to post a photo of the flowers online to brag to her friends about how loving and thoughtful her fiance was. Such a perfect life she lived. Of course, she wouldn't recount the real backstory behind them.

Jonathon had missed their dinner plans yesterday, which wasn't unusual, but last night they had reservations at a new restaurant in Philadelphia that came with a two-month-long waitlist. He knew that she'd been dying to go ever since they'd opened their doors. Every single one of their friends had already been there and couldn't stop raving about it. Of course, like always, Jonathon was called away for work. This time it was because a structure he'd been working on, out in Minnesota, had started collapsing. "The foundation shifted," he explained as he pulled his suitcase from the top of the closet. Jade tried to be lenient with him when it came to things like that; after all, he couldn't predict when an emergency would come up at work. His hectic schedule and the long hours weren't anything new to her, but still, she couldn't help but feel disappointed.

Jade meticulously arranged the bouquet before placing the vase in the center of the dining room table. Perfect! She beamed at the final result before picking up the small envelope that came with the delivery. Simultaneously, as her eyes scanned over the card, the smile on her face melted like butter.

What in the hell?