Chapter Seventeen

Resentment

Sebastian

Resentment comes in the following hours as Josh sits beside me in the accident and emergency department as I await stitches to be placed in my knuckles.

I created more damage than I thought, punching my way through some sort of vessel that hadn't stopped bleeding.

They've numbed me up, and I'm waiting for that to take effect before being taken back again.

I'm not too fond of it here, the sterility of the place; I've never liked hospitals and probably never will. But considering recent events, I hate them even more.

That's why I internalise my hatred for myself, jumping on the bandwagon of self-loathing, as that might fix everything that's wrong in my life.

"You're an idiot. Why didn't you reach out? You must have known we'd be here for you," Josh admonishes me, bringing me out of my sour thoughts only to verbalise my self-loathing of my situation.

"What was I to say? 'Hey, Josh. I want to drink myself into oblivion because my wife's dead and buried?'"

He gives me