Chapter Sixteen

Bargaining

Sebastian

Bargaining commences after a fitful few hours of sleep; I beg the god I never believed in to give me back my wife, my life. Our life.

I sit on my knees at the end of my bed, much as Beth would, praying, begging the man upstairs.

How could he do this?

What was the purpose in making her and I suffer so?

Did my wavering faith cause my loss of Beth?

Was this a proportionate punishment in an effort to highlight my lack of faith?

My head is splintering in two, the paracetamol isn't working, and I'm more than still way past drunk. I feel as sick as a dog.

And my knuckles are still bleeding, the red liquid staining the hand towel scarlet as it covers the gruesome-looking cuts that I can't stomach to look at.

I'm starting to think I should take a trip to the hospital, thinking perhaps I did more damage than I initially thought, but I can't bring myself to leave the confines of my room.

What was I thinking going out like that?

Who am I now?

Who am I becoming?

No wonder my f