Relinquish - His Second Chance

SebastianI stand mortified as the funeral director and his assistant place us where they need us whilst their staff bring the casket up and onto our shoulders.I'm right at the front with Geoff, leading the others as we take Bethany up the slope that leads through the church doors.The funeral march has begun, and I can't help but feel that strange and peculiar lump sitting right at the base of my throat that feels almost as if my oesophagus has soda bubbling up from my insides.It's the need to cry, I presume, and it is thick, yet I push it aside, begging myself not to allow the emotion to take hold of me.One foot in front of the other, Seb. Walk your wife down the aisle once more, just as she wished. You can do this...Positive self-talk, isn't that what Bethany called such musings to one's self?The church is full of people, our people.Friends, family, and even colleagues.At the very back, acquaintances that we've met over the years that have chosen to attend Bethany's farewe

SebastianThe days after the funeral are a blur of heavy drinking whilst succumbing to the emotions I had bottled up until that very moment I watched the dirt cover Bethany's casket.I'm sure those images are burned to my retinas just as much as her final night... our last night. "Seb," she had hushed to me as I succumbed to the sleep that begged me to fall under its spell. The days were long and the nights even harder. She was in so much pain that I swore her moaning was a regular part of life by then."Yes, darling. Do you need painkillers or water?" I had asked, sobered that she was cold to the touch, her fingers a pale hue compared to usual pink. Perhaps it should have been then that I picked up that things were deteriorating before my very eyes, but I had been blind to the very things in front of me. "Make love to me?" She asked, her fingers running through my hair as her hand shook with the effort. "You're in too much pain," I had brushed her request off, but she pushed just

'Grief never ends, but it changes. It's a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love.'Sebastian Tears stain my eyes at Melody's letter, yet I cannot help but turn my attention to the one addressed to myself like an eager Beaver in the moving lake. Yet I know I need to sit down now, moving through to the bedroom to sit on the bed as I rip open my letter eagerly with shaken hands. Dearest Husband,Sebastian.Seb...I'm writing this whilst you sleep with Melody tucked against your chest. The pair of you both open-mouthed and snoring softly.Our daughter takes after you, through and through. She truly is a daddy's little girl. I cannot fathom that once I never dreamed of this life you have given me, that I detested the thought of birthing Melody. You gave my life a sense of hope, a sense of adventure and a sense of need. I don't doubt you will remember the day and the events leading up to the day that changed your l

Sebastian And so my parents and Beth's parents bid Melody and me farewell, and they packed their things. They sobbed uncontrollably, and then they said their shaky farewells as if it were the last time we would see one another.I say 'they' loosely.Because, in honesty, it was only mine and Beth's mother who cried at leaving us alone here in our rOur fathers couldn't have cared less, showing no sign of emotional turmoil at the thought of the pair of us staying here whilst they left and entered back into the routine of their own lives. To say I was relieved when I finally closed my front door and leaned my back against it would be an understatement.Beth was there, of course, standing at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for me to make eye contact, but I refused, for Melody was sitting on the living room floor playing with some toys, right within earshot of her father, acknowledging this sanity blip. Instead, I glanced only to her feet, willing her to disappear as I held my breath

Sebastian My Dearest Seb, I would ask how you are, but I think I know the answer to that already.I'm not sure how much time has passed since I left you, but I trust you've taken this step in your own time and at your own pace.As you are probably now aware, I've been working extremely hard during the evenings whilst you've been sleeping with Melody. I knew I needed to get things done, that the 'I's' required dotting and the 't's' needed crossing.This isn't the life I wished for us, but nevertheless, it is the life bestowed upon us, and it is now, as I'm planning your future, that you realise what I've been working towards all along. God had been guiding me, Seb...I know you don't believe it, but I do, and it's now, in the face of leaving you, that I know why my drive was so high and why I am adamant about being successful.Everything is signed over to you: the houses, my businesses, all equity gained from my investments, but what you are not currently aware of is the life insur