Sebastian It's been almost five weeks since Beth passed, and with each passing day, I question my ability to carry on. The days are dull, the colours fading to black and white as I stumble through them with less zest than I've ever held, but Melody's my silver lining.She's the only thing capturing my need to live, the only motivation to stick around here. She keeps me on my toes, and I run around for most of the day to her every whim. A toy dump closely follows breakfast in the living room, which is then followed by lunch and then her nap time.And though that sounds vastly busy and consuming, it's then when there's no sound coming from the house that my mind wanders to the nasty reality we are currently living. I'm glad when she wakes, her little giggles giving me purpose. But that only leaves a deep dread for her bedtime, which, of course, we've almost mastered, her bath before her book, which takes place in the rocking chair beside her bed just as Beth had always done, well, b
Sebastian My Dearest Seb, I would ask how you are, but I think I know the answer to that already.I'm not sure how much time has passed since I left you, but I trust you've taken this step in your own time and at your own pace.As you are probably now aware, I've been working extremely hard during the evenings whilst you've been sleeping with Melody. I knew I needed to get things done, that the 'I's' required dotting and the 't's' needed crossing.This isn't the life I wished for us, but nevertheless, it is the life bestowed upon us, and it is now, as I'm planning your future, that you realise what I've been working towards all along. God had been guiding me, Seb...I know you don't believe it, but I do, and it's now, in the face of leaving you, that I know why my drive was so high and why I am adamant about being successful.Everything is signed over to you: the houses, my businesses, all equity gained from my investments, but what you are not currently aware of is the life insur
Sebastian "Seb," Bethany calls as I walk down the hall to our bedroom after gruesomely arguing with my toddler as I put Melody down for the night.She's sat on her chair just inside our bedroom door, much as she has been since she appeared. Her legs crossed, hands in her lap as she looks at me sternly. "My love," I can't help but grin, knowing that we'll have the night to ourselves, that we can reminisce and talk for as long as my body allows me to stay awake this evening."You need to be more forgiving with Melody; she's missing me," she warns, her distaste for my previous short temper evident. She always did disfavour my temper when it got the better of me. Sighing, I sit on the bed, facing her as I have done every night since she appeared. Her beautiful face beamed back at me as she tried not to smile despite her evident anger. I play with her, smirking to myself, encouraging her lack of control as she beams at me before shaking her head. I always was able to make her bashful,
Anger Two Months LaterSebastian"Who are you talking to, Seb?" my father asks as he stands in the hallway, the dim nightlight plugged into the hallway socket lighting him up as if he were from the underworld, which could be a high probability. "No one," I deny his accusation, sitting up in my bed as I look at the bedside clock.Five-thirty am."Liar," he spits, walking into the room and kicking at the rocking chair; glass crashes, banging on the floor, making me look over the end of the bed and to the twelve or so bottles surrounding the chair."She's gone, son," my father tells me, devoid of emotion. His words instantly anger me, but I chuckle instead, throwing my head back to look at the darkened ceiling. I allow the laughter to fill me up, and only when it's dispersed freely do I lift my head to face the man before me. "No, she's not," I tell him, venom filtering through my tone, my tongue slurring the words offensively. "Yes, she is son," he reiterates. I shake my head in d
Sebastian"It's lovely to see you again, Seb. How have you been?" Laura, the shrink, asks me as I take a seat opposite her in the barely decorated room that she uses for such sessions within her home.It's white and bare in here, which is a massive contrast to the rooms I've walked through to return to her office.Laura is a middle-aged woman with blonde hair, voluptuous. She is pretty in an understated kind of way, and she's vibrant; her house portrays that, yet this room is as mundane and as dull as they come. "Things have... passed," I admit.I've always found it terribly hard to talk, emotions not having been something my father taught me whilst I grew up. In his words, a man should be the pillar of strength. And it is expected that he remains the strength whilst the woman falls apart repeatedly.Yet I have no woman now, so..."It's been a few months since we last saw each other; how has the grieving process been treating you?" She asks me, hitting the nail on the head as to why
Sebastian"Are you happy, Beth?" I ask aloud as I shower. "You should be; I'm going out tonight," I announce sourly. I'm not sure why I'm blaming her; it's not as if she asked...Heck, what am I saying?Of course, I know why I'm upset with her. It's because she left me again, and I'm going out to spite her.Getting ready for the evening seems somewhat surreal because it's been a good while since I've done anything for myself. But there's no point in moping around the house alone whilst Tina has Melody. I don't think my mind would like where it wanders.So I shower and trim my newfound beard, letting the dark hair stain my face as I run in some oil Beth had once gotten me for Christmas through it.I also gel my hair back for the first time in months. Yet the man staring back at me in the mirror isn't someone I recognise.His eyes are sunken and hold a pain like no other. A pain that once upon a time I had never dreamed of, but now I'm walking alongside as if we were the best of friends
SebastianWe crash through the door, our lips connected as I grab ahold of her waist, pulling her body back against mine as I lift her up, encouraging her legs around my waist in booze-filled excitement and trepidation.I push her against the wall, closing the door to ensure our privacy in this moment of... intimacy—my hand splays beside her pretty face, which I've studied many times.Her cute button nose, thick lips and pronounced chin are all characteristics I've seen for many years.Her tongue darts out, moistening her lips in her usual nervous trait, yet it encourages me to suck it into my mouth, tasting her saliva that still has the lingering taste of a Cosmo.I haven't kissed this way in a while, in fact..."Seb," she says, pulling at my hair as I drop my face in her breasts, kissing my way down between the valley of her mounds.They are far larger than..."Suck my nipples," she requests, waylaying my thoughts for a second time.I kiss the skin there, smelling the sweet scent of
BargainingSebastianBargaining commences after a fitful few hours of sleep; I beg the god I never believed in to give me back my wife, my life. Our life.I sit on my knees at the end of my bed, much as Beth would, praying, begging the man upstairs.How could he do this?What was the purpose in making her and I suffer so?Did my wavering faith cause my loss of Beth?Was this a proportionate punishment in an effort to highlight my lack of faith?My head is splintering in two, the paracetamol isn't working, and I'm more than still way past drunk. I feel as sick as a dog.And my knuckles are still bleeding, the red liquid staining the hand towel scarlet as it covers the gruesome-looking cuts that I can't stomach to look at.I'm starting to think I should take a trip to the hospital, thinking perhaps I did more damage than I initially thought, but I can't bring myself to leave the confines of my room.What was I thinking going out like that?Who am I now?Who am I becoming?No wonder my f