Sebastian It's been almost five weeks since Beth passed, and with each passing day, I question my ability to carry on. The days are dull, the colours fading to black and white as I stumble through them with less zest than I've ever held, but Melody's my silver lining.She's the only thing capturing my need to live, the only motivation to stick around here. She keeps me on my toes, and I run around for most of the day to her every whim. A toy dump closely follows breakfast in the living room, which is then followed by lunch and then her nap time.And though that sounds vastly busy and consuming, it's then when there's no sound coming from the house that my mind wanders to the nasty reality we are currently living. I'm glad when she wakes, her little giggles giving me purpose. But that only leaves a deep dread for her bedtime, which, of course, we've almost mastered, her bath before her book, which takes place in the rocking chair beside her bed just as Beth had always done, well, b
Sebastian My Dearest Seb, I would ask how you are, but I think I know the answer to that already.I'm not sure how much time has passed since I left you, but I trust you've taken this step in your own time and at your own pace.As you are probably now aware, I've been working extremely hard during the evenings whilst you've been sleeping with Melody. I knew I needed to get things done, that the 'I's' required dotting and the 't's' needed crossing.This isn't the life I wished for us, but nevertheless, it is the life bestowed upon us, and it is now, as I'm planning your future, that you realise what I've been working towards all along. God had been guiding me, Seb...I know you don't believe it, but I do, and it's now, in the face of leaving you, that I know why my drive was so high and why I am adamant about being successful.Everything is signed over to you: the houses, my businesses, all equity gained from my investments, but what you are not currently aware of is the life insur
Sebastian "Seb," Bethany calls as I walk down the hall to our bedroom after gruesomely arguing with my toddler as I put Melody down for the night.She's sat on her chair just inside our bedroom door, much as she has been since she appeared. Her legs crossed, hands in her lap as she looks at me sternly. "My love," I can't help but grin, knowing that we'll have the night to ourselves, that we can reminisce and talk for as long as my body allows me to stay awake this evening."You need to be more forgiving with Melody; she's missing me," she warns, her distaste for my previous short temper evident. She always did disfavour my temper when it got the better of me. Sighing, I sit on the bed, facing her as I have done every night since she appeared. Her beautiful face beamed back at me as she tried not to smile despite her evident anger. I play with her, smirking to myself, encouraging her lack of control as she beams at me before shaking her head. I always was able to make her bashful,
Anger Two Months LaterSebastian"Who are you talking to, Seb?" my father asks as he stands in the hallway, the dim nightlight plugged into the hallway socket lighting him up as if he were from the underworld, which could be a high probability. "No one," I deny his accusation, sitting up in my bed as I look at the bedside clock.Five-thirty am."Liar," he spits, walking into the room and kicking at the rocking chair; glass crashes, banging on the floor, making me look over the end of the bed and to the twelve or so bottles surrounding the chair."She's gone, son," my father tells me, devoid of emotion. His words instantly anger me, but I chuckle instead, throwing my head back to look at the darkened ceiling. I allow the laughter to fill me up, and only when it's dispersed freely do I lift my head to face the man before me. "No, she's not," I tell him, venom filtering through my tone, my tongue slurring the words offensively. "Yes, she is son," he reiterates. I shake my head in d
Sebastian"It's lovely to see you again, Seb. How have you been?" Laura, the shrink, asks me as I take a seat opposite her in the barely decorated room that she uses for such sessions within her home.It's white and bare in here, which is a massive contrast to the rooms I've walked through to return to her office.Laura is a middle-aged woman with blonde hair, voluptuous. She is pretty in an understated kind of way, and she's vibrant; her house portrays that, yet this room is as mundane and as dull as they come. "Things have... passed," I admit.I've always found it terribly hard to talk, emotions not having been something my father taught me whilst I grew up. In his words, a man should be the pillar of strength. And it is expected that he remains the strength whilst the woman falls apart repeatedly.Yet I have no woman now, so..."It's been a few months since we last saw each other; how has the grieving process been treating you?" She asks me, hitting the nail on the head as to why
Sebastian"Are you happy, Beth?" I ask aloud as I shower. "You should be; I'm going out tonight," I announce sourly. I'm not sure why I'm blaming her; it's not as if she asked...Heck, what am I saying?Of course, I know why I'm upset with her. It's because she left me again, and I'm going out to spite her.Getting ready for the evening seems somewhat surreal because it's been a good while since I've done anything for myself. But there's no point in moping around the house alone whilst Tina has Melody. I don't think my mind would like where it wanders.So I shower and trim my newfound beard, letting the dark hair stain my face as I run in some oil Beth had once gotten me for Christmas through it.I also gel my hair back for the first time in months. Yet the man staring back at me in the mirror isn't someone I recognise.His eyes are sunken and hold a pain like no other. A pain that once upon a time I had never dreamed of, but now I'm walking alongside as if we were the best of friends
SebastianWe crash through the door, our lips connected as I grab ahold of her waist, pulling her body back against mine as I lift her up, encouraging her legs around my waist in booze-filled excitement and trepidation.I push her against the wall, closing the door to ensure our privacy in this moment of... intimacy—my hand splays beside her pretty face, which I've studied many times.Her cute button nose, thick lips and pronounced chin are all characteristics I've seen for many years.Her tongue darts out, moistening her lips in her usual nervous trait, yet it encourages me to suck it into my mouth, tasting her saliva that still has the lingering taste of a Cosmo.I haven't kissed this way in a while, in fact..."Seb," she says, pulling at my hair as I drop my face in her breasts, kissing my way down between the valley of her mounds.They are far larger than..."Suck my nipples," she requests, waylaying my thoughts for a second time.I kiss the skin there, smelling the sweet scent of
BargainingSebastianBargaining commences after a fitful few hours of sleep; I beg the god I never believed in to give me back my wife, my life. Our life.I sit on my knees at the end of my bed, much as Beth would, praying, begging the man upstairs.How could he do this?What was the purpose in making her and I suffer so?Did my wavering faith cause my loss of Beth?Was this a proportionate punishment in an effort to highlight my lack of faith?My head is splintering in two, the paracetamol isn't working, and I'm more than still way past drunk. I feel as sick as a dog.And my knuckles are still bleeding, the red liquid staining the hand towel scarlet as it covers the gruesome-looking cuts that I can't stomach to look at.I'm starting to think I should take a trip to the hospital, thinking perhaps I did more damage than I initially thought, but I can't bring myself to leave the confines of my room.What was I thinking going out like that?Who am I now?Who am I becoming?No wonder my f
"We're going out again," Josh admits, a smirk on his face as he looks at Charlotte."Have a good evening then," I tell him, slapping his back in a friendly manner."You too," he nods towards Cassidy as she calls for the lift.I nod, but I don't know what I'm about to do. There are so many things running through my head, so many needs that need scratching, but there's also the hurt riding alongside the need, forcing my mind into a place of unknown.We stand beside each other in the lift, silent as can be.I've barely said anything to her all night, and she seems jittery because of it.Perhaps she knows I'm on to her, but what she doesn't know is I don't fucking care.Yeah, I came to that conclusion at the dinner table.Cassidy's mine now; I won't let her go. Things need to be ironed out, wrongs need to be made right, but I don't feel any less for her than I did this time yesterday evening.I let her brew, walking ahead of her to the apartment door and opening it for the pair of us as s
SebastianI did it; I fucking bagged the contract, and it's signed already as we sit across from one another in the restaurant as we drink to success. "It's a pleasure doing business with you, Mr King," Yu Meng grins back at me. I nod, and I think of the price I've paid for the phones that we will redistribute with our names attached to them.It's a good deal, far less than I expected them to agree on, yet we have to keep it a secret for now, still playing the game that the phones are up for grabs.The three of us shake hands, and I nod to Mr Meng as we walk towards the conference room. Josh and I are wearing a secret smile as we sit at the back during the meeting, and the others ask their questions.I take the opportunity to sit and think over my revelation from this morning and what I want to do.Part of me wants to make Cassidy submit to me; I really want to have her sitting there on her knees, holding herself up as her muscles protest as I make her spill her proverbial beans.Onc
Last night flooded my mind, the memory of Sebastian slipping them from my feet as he held my weight as if I were stick thin and weighed nothing. My cheek blushes, and I groan internally as I place them on my feet and just in time, too, because Charlotte has rejoined me and dressed in only a pair of jeans and an oversized jumper. "Ready?" She asks me, walking to the door with a massive grin on her face. I nod, following along, and we ride in the lift down to the foyer, where we exit the hotel and hail a taxi just outside. We drive only for a short amount of time, being dropped outside of a small collection of very expensive branded shops. I hate to think of us going inside, but she grabs me instantly, taking me inside one that has rows of underwear only fit for consumption in a bedroom. "What's your size?" She asks me, looking down at my breasts as I do. "32D," I admit with a blush. "Don't be ashamed. Seb likes breasts, and you've plenty to keep him occupied all night."
Cassidy I wake to an empty bed, my hand reaching out for Sebastian, finding nothing but the cold bedsheets where he was lying when I allowed my eyes to close for the night finally. I sigh, upset that he's gone already but cognisant that he's probably needed for the work he came here for, which I should be helping him with. I move up, sitting from the bed, finding Charlotte staring right back at me from the sofa as the door hangs wide open, much as Josh had been sitting just yesterday morning. "Good morning," she grins. "Morning," I mimic her, looking behind me to ensure I didn't skip over Sebastian in the room somewhere. I still don't find him, much as I hadn't when I woke up. "He's downstairs working with Josh. They have lots to do today, but not to worry, he's left me his credit card, and I've been instructed to do some retail therapy with you. You can have whatever you like." "I don't want anything," I shrug, walking out to stand before her as I nervously decide wha
SebastianJosh and I asked for a private booth and ordered quickly before watching each other with raised brows and a mutual look of defeat.He swallows whilst reaching for his phone, unlocking it to scroll through everything I had read this morning alone.He's huffing, raising his brows, knitting them together. Chewing his cheek and sucking in his bottom lip much as he might when he and Charlotte argue, and it's then I know he truly has nothing to do with this. This is all my father's doing—solely his burden to bear.There's a torrent of emotion flitting through his features, and I hate everyone because they are exactly how I feel. I preferred it when he was happy for me, when he was blissfully as eager for this new life as I was."Seb..." he sighs my name, turning the phone down at the death certificate as if to say.'What the actual fuck'"Yeah. Yeah, that got me too. The things we have in common, the things that have aligned to bring us both here and yet my father is playing a hug
Derek Draper. I note his name down to search for an obituary, the sudden need to visit this man's resting place to ask for his girl's hand, making itself known. Fuck, she was married?Is that why she stopped us last night?That seems more plausible; the thought of her struggling with the fact she once belonged to another, and now she might be struggling to allow herself to move on much as I had been, would explain the sorrow within her eyes.Fuck! We have so much in common, so many stars aligned to bring our paths crashing alongside each other, but now I fear that I have this all wrong. That I might have allowed myself to feel something for the wrong person.I'm not sure I could let her go even if that's what she wanted...I can't continue chasing her until I know the true extent of her feelings.I sent a secure email to Josh with all my findings, intent on ensuring we have time alone today to talk about this and figure a way through this latest bout of turmoil.Fuck! I really like h
SebastianWe must fall asleep at some point because I wake up startled from a vidid dream of Beth's last night here on Earth.Remembering the way I made love to her for the last time, of the look of pure ecstasy on her face even with the pain still shrouding her eyes. I hadn't taken any form of gratification that night. Only needing to ensure she felt loved. And I've long since thought something broke inside of me that night. But I realise now it was only lying dormant, the sexual need, that is.I roll from back towards Cassidy as she lies in the same position we stared at one another for hours last night. Our noses almost touch, and I reach out to stroke her hair from her face as I study her in her sleep.She's breathtaking, absolutely beautiful, and I fear my heart might just shatter if she decides that I'm not for her.I don't know what made her stop last night, but it must have been something heavy. I could tell by the tears falling down her face. The sorrow that seems almost as
"Sebastian," I sigh, holding onto his hair as he kisses and sucks between my breast."Mhm," he hums, his beautiful eyes flicking to mine instantly, and I hold his gaze. There's a challenge in them, and I'm utterly lost in the depth of his soul as he devours mine with just one look.My shirt is up and over my head, thrown down somewhere behind him as he reaches for my waist.I cringe, hating the extra weight around my stomach, knowing those soft rolls might put him off, but he just scoffs, seeing my reaction and hating it."You're beautiful," he tells me, stepping between my legs once again as he encourages them around his waist quickly. I'm airborne again as he strides towards my room, moving the door with his palm as he beelines for the bed.I land softly, with a soft smile, as he stands like a god wanting to devour me as his last meal.He rids his shirt, taking care to take his cufflinks off before shoving them on the bedside table beside me. And then his suit pants go next, and I
CassidySebastian's been staring at me all evening. His hand reached for mine not long ago, and they've since been conjoined and lying on the tabletop.I've been wanting to jump in the conversation to have input into this weird situation we have going on.Which brings me back to my questions regarding Josh.Is he in on this deal, too?Is he working for Sebastian's father regarding getting Sebastian to move on from his wife?I don't jump into the conversation; I don't find an opportune time, so I sit quietly, listening to everything being said.It seems Sebastian wishes for his daughter to be betrothed to Josh and Charlotte's son. That wouldn't strike me as weird if we weren't in the twenty-first century, and all, because that's precisely what my Pa did with Derek.And I was thankful for that, as I would never have been confident enough to reach out to a man alone.I love how their conversations roll from one topic to another seamlessly, and I see how the three of them must have been f