Chapter 03

I got sick. The enthusiasm that I had been feeling before had entirely vanished. My knees were trembling and I could feel the flesh quivering, so I wasn't sure how I got home. My right hand was on the door, and I bit my lip. I fell to the ground and sat down. I let out a loud gasp and grabbed my hands to my face. There, I sobbed uncontrollably. How could he hurt me this way? Does he not realize that I am his mate? Did he not detect me? How come he was with Margaux?

How can he do this to me?! Why did he do it?! Why did he have sex with her! It was impossible for him not to feel me. I am his mate! I cried my heart out on my face until I already felt numb from the pain that was quivering in my heart. 

All the hopes for a lovely fairytale eventually shattered because of that. All the fairytales that I have been longing for years now were taken away. I sobbed uncontrollably till my eyes started to ache. Because both of my eyes were already puffy, I could hardly see. It appeared as though the tears simply dried up and ceased pouring. When I heard a knock, I was still seated with my back against the door.

A deep, baritone voice spoke out, "Calla."

When I recognized that voice, I struggled to breathe. My breathing became strained once more. I forced a swallow. My body started to tense up as soon as I caught a whiff of his alluring aroma. My mouth went dry. I let out a long sigh and turned to face the door. "Calla, I'm aware you're here. Please allow us to talk. "  I overheard him remark.  I didn't respond to him. I was at a loss for words. He said, "Calla, open the door." Then there came another knock. I tightly closed my eyes as I became more drawn to him. It is the mate connection. I felt a tug toward him.

I clenched my teeth and put my hand on my chest. My legs were beginning to tremble, and my hands were shaking as well. My heart was beating loudly and quickly, I was able to hear it already.

“Calla-”

When I pushed open the door, he was quiet. When our eyes finally met, I exhaled deeply. While I worked so hard to mask my grief, his face was expressionless. I had to blink many times to keep the tears from flowing.

“W-What?

I forced a deep swallow. I attempted to stop my voice from trembling, but I still found myself stuttering. To appear brave, I bit the inside of my cheeks. I didn't want him to realize how miserable I was feeling.

"I know you were there,” he said, which earned a gasp from me. I stared at him. That wasn’t what I expected. I was shocked as hell! His expression didn't change. There was hardly a trace of emotion on his face. “Moreover, I am aware that you are my mate. . . I scented you, Calla, and I'm battling the need to be with you right now.”

My lips split apart. I am at a loss for words. He sighed and then turned his head away from me. I felt my heart sinking. If so, then why the hell is he doing this?! 

"S-So why, then. . "I couldn't finish what I was saying. My eyes started to weep once again as the tiny needles continued to pierce my throbbing heart. I wished I could have questioned him on his motives, but then I felt like I was drowning into misery already. Shit. Why did he do that? Why is he doing this to me?! Why Margaux? W-What about me now? What w-will happen?

He groaned, "Listen, Calla." He was rubbing his head as if he just couldn’t face me again.

He took a deep breath before finally turning to me. "You are my friend. You're a kind girl, and I sincerely appreciate everything your family has done for this pack. . . but that's pretty much all.” He pursed his lips and gave me a head-to-toe look before saying, "I cannot make you my luna, Calla,” he apologized to me while shaking his head. “You're flimsy, helpless, and sad. . . I want a luna to be powerful, bold, aggressive, and domineering. . . you are not that, Calla, without a doubt. And most of all, with all the rogue attacks and the power that the other packs have now, I am certainly looking for someone from a powerful and dominant family…you are also not that.”  He gave me a sorrowful grin and then he said, "I'm sorry."

With that he turned his back on me, leaving me weeping and crying again. I felt like a rock just hit my face with that reality. Power. That’s what he wants for his mate, and unfortunately, I wasn’t that one. I was not a pack warrior, and was definitely not someone special to even look at. I cannot believe him. All along, I thought we have this kind of understanding just because our fathers were as tight as twins before, and our family were also there for each other. We grew up together, and I honestly thought that we would eventually end up with each other. I believed that he was my fairytale but now I am slapped by the harsh reality that the man whom I considered my prince doesn't even want me to be his princess. What a pity, indeed, huh. 

I bit my lip as I stared at nothingness. What Edmund said lingered in my mind for quite a while until I was able to grasp another sad and hurtful reality. He’s rejecting me. Oh gosh, he’s really rejecting me as his mate…and if that happens…fuck. Horror filled my whole being upon deciphering what would happen to me. I immediately closed the door behind me and I went back to bed. My whole body was trembling as I thought of the consequences of what he just said. 

It was already clear that he will be rejecting me. He will reject me as his mate…and if that happens…shit… I gasped and my hand immediately went to my mouth. I would be banished…I would be a lone-wolf…

It’s a tradition here in our pack that we still adhere to from our ascendants. It’s that if a she-wolf gets rejected by an alpha mate, not only will she suffer the pain of a rejected mate, but also, she will be banished from the pack. I was covered with fear again, damn it. How can the Moon Goddess give me such bad karma? What did I ever do to deserve this, huh? After all the things that I did for this pack and after all the service that my parents gave, is this what they will repay me? Being cast out? Fuck. The excruciating pain that I have been feeling earlier just doubled upon the realization that I really do not have someone now. Once I am banished, I will no longer be a pack member of this pack and I will be a lone-wolf already. Shit. Who knows what my fate would be outside. I refuse to be a rogue. I don’t want to be one. 

I was staring at nothingness as I felt the hopelessness dawned into me.  I didn’t know how long I stayed in that position until I heard people running outside. I slowly craned my neck to look at what was happening from my translucent window. I couldn’t see them clearly but I could hear their voices. 

“I bet the alpha will choose his Luna from the maidens who will join the challenge later.”

“Huh? But what if he has a mate already?”

“Oh well, it won’t be hard because for sure the alpha’s mate will be a strong she wolf. She might already be one of the challengers.”

I felt like my whole world just stopped upon realizing something with what they said. I hurriedly went up and quickly ran towards the main packhouse where the family of the alpha is. Everyone was looking at me as I didn’t mind any of the calls of the guard when I stormed inside Edmund’s private room. 

“What the hell, Calla?!” he exclaimed but I didn’t back down. 

“I’ll join the challenge. If I win this, you will accept me as your mate.”