Chapter 1

'what do I need to do for you to leave us alone?' she asked me while her eyes are flowing with tears. Her beautiful appearance bearing unbearable pain and her expression look very sorrowful. Her small and delicate body seemed very fragile that can be blown away just by a small gust of wind. Anyone who'll look at her will make them want to protect her. May it be a man or a woman.

To be honest, my heart hurts as I'm looking at her. It felt like my heart is being pinched with thousands of needles.

I don't want to hurt anybody. I don't want to make someone cry.

Yet I stood my ground and look at her coldly in the eyes.

'Nothing. Till death do us part.' I told her without any trace of emotion. I hardened my heart and my resolve. I started this, I chose this, and I will continue even though I know I already lost even before I started this game.

The girl opposite me looked at me like I'm a crazy bitch, a lunatic on loose.

Yes, I admit, I'm a bitch

A third party

A Mistress

She started to bawl her eyes out in front of me. Everyone in the restaurant kept looking in our way, they all looked at me like I'm a terrible monster that would devour this woman without any trace of remains.

An uncomfortable feeling crept in me, the strange and judgemental eyes of the people around me made me just want to run away immediately. I don't want to feel their stares that I'm very guilty about, so I stood from my chair. I just want to go.

I looked down at her and as I was to turn my back, a tall and sturdy man came behind her. I was surprised when I saw him, especially his features. He has the looks that can captivate and charm anyone. A look that surpasses any actor and model.

He carefully touched the girl's delicate shoulder and assist her to stand, then he looked at me with the coldest pair of eyes I've seen in my whole life.

The man may not say anything but his facial expression spoke what he wants to say. His dislike and disgust of me.

'Take care of her.' I said to him in a low tone of voice but then what happens surprises me next.

The woman in front of me suddenly collapses but thankfully the man behind catches her, slowly and carefully like the most expensive jewellery in the world, he lied her on the floor.

My face may not show it but I panicked. I went over to the other side to check on her but what I witnessed shocked me to the core.

Her face looked so pale and weak. she was panting and her hand was gripping the man's suit like she is in kind of pain.

BLOOD

Blood is dripping down from her legs. It made my feet frozen on the spot. It made my heart pound a million heartbeats, I don't know how to react, I don't know what to do.

'Call an ambulance.' The man kneeling beside her said in a very dangerous tone while he was checking her pulse. I looked at him and he glanced at me like saying 'Do it' and that caused me to wake up from my frozen state.

I took out my handphone and with quivering hands, I telephoned the ambulance. The man kneeling, carried the girl like a princess going outside the cafe. the people quickly step aside to make way for the man and I followed them.

Shortly after the ambulance arrived, the man carrying the woman and went inside the car and I was left there alone in the road. Before the door closes, I saw them, she was in pain, the man is very worried. I do not know him but he looks like he is someone who cares for her.

I don't know what to do. I was like in the middle of a dessert and struggling to choose between survival.

My conscience kept bothering me. I let out a small laugh. With all the despicable things I've done, I still have a thing called conscience.

The girl was bleeding, from her waist down, which means - -

'you are the one I cherish!'

'I will solely lie in bed with you and you alone.'

'I love you more than anything in the whole wide world!'

In the end, I went into my car and decided to follow them. As I was driving, What he said to me before kept ringing in my head. What happened these past years kept flashbacking in my mind. Like a film that's rewinding. 

Alex was mine first.

He was my first boyfriend

He was the first man I love

He was also the man whom I gave my everything, to the point of having none left to myself.

That's why no matter what, I told myself I can't let go of him. Ever and Never.

But we live in a society where the top of the hierarchy is the law.

The Rich belongs to the rich and

The Poor belongs to Non-Rich

So like the other love stories, His parents didn't agree because he was the rich, the disadvantaged one, so what his parents did?

They forced to marry him off to an heiress and took him away from me. He had a wife while I was left alone. He was my first love, the first person I truly loved and after him, there is no one. It was really unfortunate that all this time, we met again. I love him so much that after all the years, he is still the one.

I was evil, I was so happy when I learned that they had no children. With that, I believe that he loves me too. I was too blind to see what's right and what's wrong anymore.

When I arrived at the hospital, I asked the receptionist about his wife and I went to her private Vip ward. I was about to knock when I heard voices.

'You lost the baby'

That simple sentence made my feet and hands cold. The agony and wail of cry inside the hospital room made my ears ring to the point that everything is spinning.

She was pregnant. I should be happy she lost it but it was the opposite. Her cries are repeating over my head that makes me wanna puke. I feel terrible, disgusted with myself.

I have no strength to come inside. No, I have no face to show, I'm a murderer of something very innocent and pure.

I don't know how I was able to get outside the hospital into the car park, I was out of my mind but then I heard someone with a very familiar voice called me.

I looked back to see the person whom I offered my heart, my all.

He looks sweaty and panting hard like he ran a mile to be here.

I immediately wore my mask again and smiled at him warmly.

'How can you smile like that!' he shouted at me and I gave him my questioning look like I do not know what he's saying. Being dumb and innocent.

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I kept repeating in my mind.

'I lost my baby and that is because of you!' he said to me, full of hatred and loathe like I'm the most terrible person he had met. I disguise my heart full of pain with a smile 

Please look at my eyes. Can't you see I'm broken and hurting? I don't know she's with child. I want to say to him but I can't.

'You promised me that I'm the only woman that can carry your seeds, you broke that promise. So I just went and fix it. now that it's gone, I'm the only one now that can have your child. You were able to keep your promises.' I said with a very seductive and taunting voice.

I didn't mean for this to happen, I can't ask forgiveness because what I did cannot be forgiven.

'I don't know who you are anymore, I - I guess this is where it ends.' he said and turned his back.

When we started our relationship, I also don't know myself anymore.

I looked at him and said

'I love you, please.' I pleaded for the last time even though I know in the back of my mind that he's completely going away now. far from where I can see. far from where I can reach.

'To be honest, I thought I love you but I realized it's just lust. I love my wife and I cannot live without her. The last thing I can give to you is your life. Go somewhere I won't ever see you again' he said and ran away going inside the hospital. Going to his lawful wedded wife.

My heart was bleeding.

My heart is aching but this is all my fault. This is just right for me.

This is a selfish wish but I hope for their happiness.

I reached for my tummy and gently rub it while still staring at the space where he was standing just earlier and didn't realize a car is going towards me is a fast speed, I just realized when it hit me.

A loud bang sound and I found myself rolling on the hard cold parking ground. I felt tremendous pain when it hit me that no words can describe the pain but that was for a moment because when my body stopped rolling, I was all but numb.

I was lying there as my life is slowly diminishing. So the grim reaper came for me after all. I saw how I was slowly being surrounded by my pool of blood.

As my consciousness is slowly fading, I tried my hardest to lift my hand towards my stomach again and gently rub it.

'I'm so sorry little one.' I said in my mind and for the first time, tears are flowing from my eyes.