Their eyes were fixed on me as I walked down the red carpet that was laid out in the middle of everyone. I slightly thickened my face and increased my confidence because I thought they were looking at me because I was so beautiful. Even the parents here couldn't take their eyes off me.But what I was wondering was why I saw disgust in their faces – as if they were repulsed by me eating poop in front of them. Why was I seeing disgust in their eyes instead of admiration?So instead of thickening my face, I suddenly felt embarrassed and awkward. I felt even more embarrassed when I saw the reactions of some men as they looked at me. They looked at me as if they wanted to pounce on me like tigers. Some men were giving me disgusted looks while all the women were giving me disgusted looks.Although I wondered why, I just ignored it. Instead, I lowered my head and walked up to the stage.When I reached the stage, I never imagined that the whispers would get louder. Instead of the sweet music
I don't care about anything anymore. I can hear people laughing happily until here. I don't care anymore, because my only concern at this moment is the pain and bitterness I feel. Under the moon and stars, I'm crying. I'm completely broken, as if the world has denied me happiness.And my thoughts about what Aling Bebang said, I've just proven it to be true. She really didn't care about me, contrary to what Aling Bebang said.To be honest, I'm tired of crying and hurting. I want to follow my grandmother to her grave. I want to die because I can't bear the pain I feel anymore. But then, how can I kill myself, when there's a child relying on me inside my womb? Hoping I'll bring it to life and let it open its eyes in this world? A world full of violence and greed.They say that in every pain, there's a cure. It could be medicine or something else. So, could someone tell me what the cure is for this unbearable pain I'm feeling? Could someone tell me what kind of medicine it is? Because hon
Before, I used to laugh at suicidal people and now I feel exactly what they feel, making me ashamed of my past behavior. It's so painful to hear those words from someone you love, the father of the child you're carrying, saying that he's ready to be a father to the woman he truly loves. I don't know what those words mean, but I strongly suspect that Mrs. Buenaventura is pregnant and he's not the father. That's why he said he's ready to be a father to the child she's carrying. It hurts me to think that he's willing to be the father of someone else's child, what about mine? What about me, who he himself is the father of?I wanted to ask him about those words, but I kept quiet because I know it won't lead anywhere, especially when his lover is the enemy. But honestly, part of me still hopes that when I tell him about my pregnancy, he'll take responsibility for me and not that woman.Tears welled up in my eyes as I walked back to the complex. I felt like a robot walking back there, I was
IS THIS what he wants? To humiliate me in front of many people? To ruin my reputation and my femininity? Great. Just great! He succeeded. I'm completely ruined to the point where even a garbage collector would be embarrassed to pick me up.There's nothing left of me. I'm completely destroyed! I don't have a home, parents to take care of me, or even a grandmother to lean on. The only thing that I was guarding so carefully has also disappeared. My reputation is gone, and worst of all, even my femininity.I don't know how angry he was at me to hurt me and humiliate me like this in front of so many people. I don't know what I did wrong to him to humiliate and ruin me like this.Honestly, I'm fine with the blackmail revenge thing. If revenge is the reason why he did all that to me, that would have been fine with me if he had used that video for blackmail. I would have been fine with all of that if he had promised me that he would never release that video.But no, he did release it. There's
Even though I refused his offer, he still drove me home. And before leaving after picking me up, he gave me his calling card in case I changed my mind and needed help. I nodded, thinking that maybe I would need help someday and it's better to have someone to turn to.I accepted the calling card and tucked it into my pants before getting out of his car. But before I could leave, he said something that stuck in my mind. He said, "Sometimes, running away from your problems is not that bad. It is a way of escaping from this cruel reality. And escaping means freedom. And there's nothing wrong with chasing your freedom. Hope you remember that." Those were the last words he said that left me thinking.Now, I'm standing outside my house, unable to take the final step to the door. It's been a few minutes since he left, but I'm still stuck in place, lost in thought. He was right, chasing freedom and escaping from your problems isn't always bad. But being a coward sometimes isn't that bad either
I thought everything would be okay once I ran away from my problems. I thought everything would be okay once I distanced myself from them, but it seems like everything has only gotten worse.It has been a month since I came to this place, and during that month, I forced myself to smile and be happy, but unfortunately, it always ends up in tears. It has been a month since I chose to escape from my problems. It has been a month since I chose to run away instead of facing my problems.A month has passed, but everything is still fresh in my mind. All the pain, shame, grief, and anger I feel. Every little detail of that shameful night is still vivid in my mind, making me burst into painful tears.Everything is still here, and I don't know how to move forward or even how to look forward. I don't know how to live if I am already dead inside. I don't know how to move on because every time I close my eyes, I am reminded of everything I have been through.Since coming to this place, many things
"N-no..." I blinked my tears away, "N-no.. this cannot be!" Those words became whispers because of the pain and grief that I felt."No! It's impossible!" I shouted hysterically while tears poured down my cheeks. "It's impossible!"At that moment, I lost myself. I was like a broken robot repeatedly saying the words "It's impossible," while my eyes kept crying, and my heart kept on sobbing.And at that time, I felt like I died a hundred times. It kills me. It pains me. It's making me die.When I felt someone touch my shoulder, I became more hysterical. I struggled, as if I were crazy, and pushed away the hands that attempted to hold me."Marra, calm down," I heard the doctor say, but I didn't listen; instead, I struggled harder."Marra—" Storm was unable to finish what he wanted to say because I violently pushed away his hand that tried to hold me, causing him to step back."Marra!" he shouted in anger, but instead of being scared, I screamed even louder while crying incessantly."Marra
"I was six or seven that time when I heard my mom and dad arguing about something. And as far as I remember that something is about the woman of dad." She leaned her back on the chair's backrest. Then, she released a bitter smile before looking up.As for me, I remained in my position, sitting on a chair while feeling shocked and surprised with my eyes staring at her. In truth, the word 'shock' cannot fully describe what I'm feeling right now.Like heck, I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say about what she said. My brain couldn't process the new information I received. I don't know how to act and talk. Damn, I'm even worse than a robot at this moment!I looked at her direction when I heard her let out a deep sigh, a bitter emotion showing in her eyes as our gazes met.She smiled bitterly, "And since I was still young at that time, I didn't understand what they were talking about. I had no idea what they were discussing. So I just disregarded it."She let out another sig