Their eyes were fixed on me as I walked down the red carpet that was laid out in the middle of everyone. I slightly thickened my face and increased my confidence because I thought they were looking at me because I was so beautiful. Even the parents here couldn't take their eyes off me.But what I was wondering was why I saw disgust in their faces – as if they were repulsed by me eating poop in front of them. Why was I seeing disgust in their eyes instead of admiration?So instead of thickening my face, I suddenly felt embarrassed and awkward. I felt even more embarrassed when I saw the reactions of some men as they looked at me. They looked at me as if they wanted to pounce on me like tigers. Some men were giving me disgusted looks while all the women were giving me disgusted looks.Although I wondered why, I just ignored it. Instead, I lowered my head and walked up to the stage.When I reached the stage, I never imagined that the whispers would get louder. Instead of the sweet music
I don't care about anything anymore. I can hear people laughing happily until here. I don't care anymore, because my only concern at this moment is the pain and bitterness I feel. Under the moon and stars, I'm crying. I'm completely broken, as if the world has denied me happiness.And my thoughts about what Aling Bebang said, I've just proven it to be true. She really didn't care about me, contrary to what Aling Bebang said.To be honest, I'm tired of crying and hurting. I want to follow my grandmother to her grave. I want to die because I can't bear the pain I feel anymore. But then, how can I kill myself, when there's a child relying on me inside my womb? Hoping I'll bring it to life and let it open its eyes in this world? A world full of violence and greed.They say that in every pain, there's a cure. It could be medicine or something else. So, could someone tell me what the cure is for this unbearable pain I'm feeling? Could someone tell me what kind of medicine it is? Because hon
Before, I used to laugh at suicidal people and now I feel exactly what they feel, making me ashamed of my past behavior. It's so painful to hear those words from someone you love, the father of the child you're carrying, saying that he's ready to be a father to the woman he truly loves. I don't know what those words mean, but I strongly suspect that Mrs. Buenaventura is pregnant and he's not the father. That's why he said he's ready to be a father to the child she's carrying. It hurts me to think that he's willing to be the father of someone else's child, what about mine? What about me, who he himself is the father of?I wanted to ask him about those words, but I kept quiet because I know it won't lead anywhere, especially when his lover is the enemy. But honestly, part of me still hopes that when I tell him about my pregnancy, he'll take responsibility for me and not that woman.Tears welled up in my eyes as I walked back to the complex. I felt like a robot walking back there, I was
IS THIS what he wants? To humiliate me in front of many people? To ruin my reputation and my femininity? Great. Just great! He succeeded. I'm completely ruined to the point where even a garbage collector would be embarrassed to pick me up.There's nothing left of me. I'm completely destroyed! I don't have a home, parents to take care of me, or even a grandmother to lean on. The only thing that I was guarding so carefully has also disappeared. My reputation is gone, and worst of all, even my femininity.I don't know how angry he was at me to hurt me and humiliate me like this in front of so many people. I don't know what I did wrong to him to humiliate and ruin me like this.Honestly, I'm fine with the blackmail revenge thing. If revenge is the reason why he did all that to me, that would have been fine with me if he had used that video for blackmail. I would have been fine with all of that if he had promised me that he would never release that video.But no, he did release it. There's
Even though I refused his offer, he still drove me home. And before leaving after picking me up, he gave me his calling card in case I changed my mind and needed help. I nodded, thinking that maybe I would need help someday and it's better to have someone to turn to.I accepted the calling card and tucked it into my pants before getting out of his car. But before I could leave, he said something that stuck in my mind. He said, "Sometimes, running away from your problems is not that bad. It is a way of escaping from this cruel reality. And escaping means freedom. And there's nothing wrong with chasing your freedom. Hope you remember that." Those were the last words he said that left me thinking.Now, I'm standing outside my house, unable to take the final step to the door. It's been a few minutes since he left, but I'm still stuck in place, lost in thought. He was right, chasing freedom and escaping from your problems isn't always bad. But being a coward sometimes isn't that bad either
I thought everything would be okay once I ran away from my problems. I thought everything would be okay once I distanced myself from them, but it seems like everything has only gotten worse.It has been a month since I came to this place, and during that month, I forced myself to smile and be happy, but unfortunately, it always ends up in tears. It has been a month since I chose to escape from my problems. It has been a month since I chose to run away instead of facing my problems.A month has passed, but everything is still fresh in my mind. All the pain, shame, grief, and anger I feel. Every little detail of that shameful night is still vivid in my mind, making me burst into painful tears.Everything is still here, and I don't know how to move forward or even how to look forward. I don't know how to live if I am already dead inside. I don't know how to move on because every time I close my eyes, I am reminded of everything I have been through.Since coming to this place, many things
"N-no..." I blinked my tears away, "N-no.. this cannot be!" Those words became whispers because of the pain and grief that I felt."No! It's impossible!" I shouted hysterically while tears poured down my cheeks. "It's impossible!"At that moment, I lost myself. I was like a broken robot repeatedly saying the words "It's impossible," while my eyes kept crying, and my heart kept on sobbing.And at that time, I felt like I died a hundred times. It kills me. It pains me. It's making me die.When I felt someone touch my shoulder, I became more hysterical. I struggled, as if I were crazy, and pushed away the hands that attempted to hold me."Marra, calm down," I heard the doctor say, but I didn't listen; instead, I struggled harder."Marra—" Storm was unable to finish what he wanted to say because I violently pushed away his hand that tried to hold me, causing him to step back."Marra!" he shouted in anger, but instead of being scared, I screamed even louder while crying incessantly."Marra
"I was six or seven that time when I heard my mom and dad arguing about something. And as far as I remember that something is about the woman of dad." She leaned her back on the chair's backrest. Then, she released a bitter smile before looking up.As for me, I remained in my position, sitting on a chair while feeling shocked and surprised with my eyes staring at her. In truth, the word 'shock' cannot fully describe what I'm feeling right now.Like heck, I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say about what she said. My brain couldn't process the new information I received. I don't know how to act and talk. Damn, I'm even worse than a robot at this moment!I looked at her direction when I heard her let out a deep sigh, a bitter emotion showing in her eyes as our gazes met.She smiled bitterly, "And since I was still young at that time, I didn't understand what they were talking about. I had no idea what they were discussing. So I just disregarded it."She let out another sig
"I didn't expect that because of my search for her, I would get into an accident on my motorcycle, causing me to break my leg and be disabled for a few months. Someone sent me a tip that she could be found in that area, so I hurriedly went there without expecting that my haste would lead to an accident.Months passed, and they continued searching for the woman I love. This time, even my dad helped in the search, but unfortunately, there was still no update.I have already started walking again, but up until now, there is still no news about her. I have already buried my dear mother, but still, there is no update about her.I failed the Bar Exam because I did not review properly due to my experiences, and my dad was disappointed in me, but still, there is no news about her.My dad has already passed the company to me, and I have made it prosper, but there is still no update about her. I have won the case about her mother, but there is still no update about her. I have even set her free
I never expected that I would fall for her because of our everyday interactions. At first, I tried to stop myself from falling for her because it was forbidden for us to get involved, if ever.But I couldn't resist. I was carried away by my emotions to the point that I claimed her as mine for life even though she didn't know it yet.But will she be mine too?My feelings for her grew even stronger when I learned about her past and how strong and independent she is. It impressed me so much that I even thought about making her mother's case my first case when I become a lawyer.Our secret relationship, which only I knew about, was going well until... I became careless - we became careless - until Buenaventura came along and acted as if he was my girlfriend.Until someone recorded us having sex. I tried to find the person who was filming us while Marra and I were doing that thing, but unfortunately, I couldn't find him.When I told Buenaventura about it, he advised me to stay away from Ma
The wake, where I always go to whenever I want to escape my bitter and complicated life.When I reached the foot of the hill, I paid Manong using the money I took from the person I killed.During that time, there was no path leading to the top of the hill yet, so I had no other choice but to climb it from the foot to the summit.The feeling of nostalgia that I first felt when I arrived here returned as soon as I reached the top. I closed my eyes and leaned my shoulders on each side to feel the cold breeze coming from the Pacific Ocean.Ghad. I miss this! I miss this feeling!It reminded me of how I found this place. It was raining, and I was crying because for the second time, my mother's friend abandoned me on the side of the road. Since I didn't know where I was, I had no choice but to follow the road in front of me.The second customer left me alone in the woods after using my body. I was left alone, crying and disgusted with myself.Since I didn't know the way back home, I just fo
The woman, whose name was apparently Jane, immediately followed the order of the gay in front of me.After a few seconds, Jane returned with a long black whip. I swallowed hard as I saw it, knowing it would make me cry if it hit my body."Looks like we'll have to use force on you, baby boy," the gay in front of me taunted before nodding to his companions.It seemed to be the signal for the two of them to approach me and grab my hands, causing me to struggle."Strip her," Jane laughed like a demon.The gay in front of me proceeded to rip my t-shirt off, and even though I was struggling, I couldn't fight back as the others were too strong.As my t-shirt was completely torn, the gay in front of me immediately sucked on my nipple, causing me to struggle even more.This passage contains graphic and disturbing content that may be triggering or offensive to some readers. It depicts a scene of sexual assault and is not suitable for all audiences. Reader discretion is advised."No! No! No! Ple
I thought that she was just using me to pay off her debts, but it seems like she's also selling me. Well, what's the difference between the two, right? Because both of them would just lead me to becoming a prostitute."You're such a cautious one, mommy! You should be grateful that your son looks delicious!" the gay guy said while shaking his head, then he took out a white envelope. The others followed suit, taking out envelopes from their bags. Then, they gave the remaining envelopes they had, which I assumed contained money."Here it is, mommy dear," said one of the gays as he gave the envelope to mommy. Mommy was about to accept the envelope, but the gay guy suddenly took it back. "Wait a minute, mommy, is it really okay for the three of us to take on that kid?" the gay guy asked while raising his eyebrows.Mama nodded, 'Yes, of course! How could he not be well-trained by now!' she replied to the gay man's question, taking the money he handed her.When mama passed by, she said to th
Instead of feeling pleasure from what she was doing, I just cried. Disgust for myself filled my heart, but it was not a surprise to me anymore. It's always like this. This is always what I experience. This is always what I feel.Perhaps when she got tired of sucking, she slowly moved her lips towards my groin, causing me to squirm even more. I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't bear the disgust I was feeling.The woman got irritated with my behavior, and punched me in the stomach. "Stop acting like a fool! You act like this is your first time. Hey! For your fucking information, your mom has paid me and her other debts several times, so don't act like you're all clean!" she shouted, causing me to cry and cry.I cried and cried because she was right... she was right about what she said.. I've experienced this several times.. I've experienced being raped and used to pay off my own parents' debts... and I've prayed to God many times to escape from the prison of desire that I never wante
"No... please tita, spare me, please." I pleaded repeatedly to the woman in front of me, hoping that she would release me from her hold.But instead of pity, she just laughed as if she was enjoying my begging."No.. no.. no baby boy, your mother already paid me, so it's only right that I make the most of what she paid for," she grinned at me while slowly taking off her bra.As she finally took it off, her huge breasts came out, which I thought could reach her belly button. It sagged, but what really disgusted me was her extremely dark nipples. It looked like the typical breasts of old women, which is one of the things I fear."No, tita, please." I begged, while wishing to God that she would hear my plea - that the demon-like friend of my mother would be enlightened and stop her abusive actions towards me."No baby boy, no." She tried to sound seductive while saying those words, even biting her lower lip as if hoping to seduce me.But instead of looking attractive in front of me, she l
Instead of answering his question, I shook my head while repeating the words I've said to him over and over again, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Dashiel... If only I knew... If only I knew that this is how it is--"I couldn't continue with what I was about to say when I felt his index finger touch my lips, "Shhh... no need to say sorry, honey, because I've forgiven you a long time ago. And besides, I deserved what happened to me because if it weren't for my negligence, our child would still be here now." He interrupted me, making me quiet.My body immediately reacted to what he said, making me stand up from kneeling and sit beside him. "No, you don't deserve--" I was about to protest that he didn't deserve what happened to him when he put his arms around me, holding me tight.I feel sorry for him because he didn't deserve what happened to him and he is not to blame for the death of our child, but I couldn't continue to feel his lips on mine.Our lips touched briefly, but it was enough to c
When Buenaventura and Thunder came out of the hospital, that's when I stood up from my seat to go inside.If they thought that I stopped insisting on entering Dashiel's room just to see him, well, they were wrong. I would never allow that.It has been a week since I felt embarrassed in the hallway because of that witch. And since that week, she still hasn't woken up.And during that week, I tried several times to go inside Dashiel's room just to catch a glimpse of him or to watch over him for a few seconds.But the past few days have really been unlucky for me. Every time I tried to enter his room, I would always end up embarrassed and going home with drooping shoulders.I have been embarrassed many times because I thought that Buenaventura had left the room, but I always ended up facing her angry face. Because she was mad at me and an attention seeker, she would do anything to get rid of me, including throwing a tantrum and pulling my hair, which made me go home with drooping shoulde