Stay?
What was that supposed to mean?
The colour of the writing really made me curious. It was very red. Almost like blood.
No. No. It can't be blood. I thought to myself. The bell rang, which brought me out of my thoughts. I kept this paper. I thought about the other one.
Are they clues?
But why would someone give me clues? No one really knows me here.
I decide to fetch the other note out of the bin.
"What the fuck? What are you doing you hobo?" A booming voice comes from behind me. I look up and see it's the same guy from earlier, but this time, he had a gang.
I couldn't speak. His mere presence would make me feel like a thread was being sewn between my lips, painfully closing them.
"Well?" He stood there awaiting my response.
"Don't you have a class to go to?" I asked. What? As if he cared about class. Why did I say that?
"Pfft. Haha." He laughed along with his friends. But one wasn't laughing. He was just staring at me. I couldn't help but notice his face. It was... perfect. His hair, blue as the sky. It was amazing. He was amazing.
"Oi!" The guy snapped me out of my thoughts.
"Leave him alone." The blue-haired boy said. His voice was heavenly, I could listen to it all day. The poet inside of me described his voice.
‘Travelling down a track of silk
Velvet to the touch
I wanted it so very much
To be bathed in this sensual thing
Would be the ultimate dream.'
I cringe immediately. And shake my head. Xavier stop. You can't be like this. You will be punished.
I look away, and grab my things from my locker, ignoring everyone, including the blue-haired boy.
I didn't want to ignore him. But I knew I had to, for my own safety.
I lock my locker and start to walk off to my class.
"Come back here!" I heard the guy yell.
"Stop Shawn please." I heard that voice say. The voice that made me blush. He was standing up for me.
Blush formed on my cheeks, my temperature rose. But that was stopped by my father's voice. The memories which replayed themselves, they stained my brain.
'I don't want you in our family if you are like that!'
'We need to fix this problem.'
Problem? Was being gay a problem? I didn't think it was. But my father thinks it is. I don't know what to do.
I arrive on time for my third class which happened to be art. I love art. It is like writing or music, something cathartic. I looked around the room. I didn't want to sit somewhere where I would disturb the 'already-made' table groups. So I decided to sit at the table in the back. It was a single table, so I shouldn't be disturbing anyone. I took out my art book. Not my personal one, but the one just for school. Trust me if someone saw my personal one, they would run for the hills.
"Okay is that everyone?" The teacher asked looking around the class. I looked around to see who I was with. They all seemed nice.
"Okay class, today we are studying portraits and how to draw them in proportion and how to get the tone right, to create an illusion of realism. Now- Oh hello, you are late, but that's okay sit down." I looked at the door.
My breath hitched and chills shook me.
"Fuck." I cursed, under my breath.
"Shawn, please take a seat." The teacher advised. This ruins everything. This class was perfect before he came. Help me please.
"Alright, Miss." He said. He looked straight at me. I felt frozen like a deer stuck in the headlights. I was going to be hit by this truck, he was going to smash me, and I didn't want him to.
"Actually, Shawn, because of yesterday's behaviour I gave you a seating plan. You sit next to Donna over there."
Thank goodness! All the stress washed away with the teacher's words. I could still feel his gaze on me. It was pressuring, but I could ignore it.
Finally, last session of the day. I tried my best not to, but all I could think about was that blue-haired boy. His face was so smooth and it's engraved in my memory. At lunch I looked everywhere for him, I even sacrificed myself by going near Shawn, I just want to catch a glimpse of him, even just for a second, just once more.
The bell rang.
"Okay class, it's home time, make sure you study your books when you get home so you are ready for tomorrow's session. Good bye class."
Everyone left. I take a long time gathering my things. I finally collect everything and exit the class. So many people in a rush to go home. They must all have plans, social plans. I'm alone. I just sit in my room and write. I sometimes think that it's useless just sitting there, no one will ever see my writing, it will just rot, like I will when I die. It's quite sad thinking about it, so I tend not to.
I open my locker and grab my bag. I still have the yellow sticky notes from before, I plan to examine them once I get home.
I arrived home and knocked on the door."Hello Xavier." My mother answered the door."Hi." I say as I walked in."Well, how was school? Did you settle in?" She asked.I grab a chip packet and sit down at the table.'Well I was intimidated by this guy named Shawn and then I kind of fell for this really cute boy with the most unique hair and engaging eyes, but I didn't make any friends, that was my day.'But instead I said."It was fine.""Oh okay, that's good. Your father said he will be coming home a bit late."Silence filled the house. It was awkward at first, but I tried to zone out to ignore the awkwardness."I'm going to do homework now." I say, getting up and putting the chip packet in the bin."Okay, bye sweetheart."I climb the
I immediately regret everything I just said. Waves of heat flush through me and fill up every space in my body."You feel like you are being judged?" My father put down his briefcase and stepped closer to the table.I felt overwhelmed. Like walls closing in on my tiny and immobilised body. I was trapped and just wanted to escape."Please don't do this, come on." My mother said."No!" he snaps his head to my mother, his eyes burning into hers. He slyly turns his head towards me.“He needs to know what is right and wrong.” Quietly, the words escaped from his mouth and pierced into my heart.What is right and wrong? What doesn't he understand? I'm fine the way I am. Aren't I?"Now, tell me what you were saying to your mother!" With each word he slammed his hand down on the table, causing me to flinch.Should I tell him?
'Beep, Beep, Beep'I wake up. I can't wait to go to school today, only because of the blue-haired boy. He's been on my mind since last night. He even haunted my dreams. His skin I crave, his soul too."Xavier! Let's go!" I heard my mother yell from downstairs.I feel a bit awkward around my family because of last's night bout. Like there is a screen hanging above my head showing my father screaming at me to everyone who sees.I was confused at her tone of voice. Why was she telling me to hurry up? I just got up."I have to go to work Xavier!"Work? She never has been to work since she had children. I stumble out of bed puzzled. Maybe if I get to school early, I might see the boy. I skip my shower and quickly get clothes on."Oh no." I wince as the sleeve of my shirt brushes on top of the cut. The pain reminds my lapse I had last night. A permanent reminder
"Who's he?" I asked, I blink as my eyes dart from my desk to the door in a nervous matter.I then scanned her face, she seemed scared almost. Who can scare a person this much? She was about to speak, but she looked at the door and quickly walked way.I looked at the entrance.The hair.It was him.He was in my psychology class.Oh fuck. How am I supposed to concentrate now?He walked towards me.Why was he coming towards me?Everyone looked scared. Some avoided him completely whilst others jumped from him to their desks, and others were just caught, like a deer in headlights.Was it him that sits here? Is that why he heading my way?Oh crap. I quickly got my things, ignoring the tremendous pain travelling up my arm. I pushed myself of the seat about to move to another table.
Crap. Please go away Cole. I don't want you to see it. I don't want you to see me in my damaged form. I want you to see me as perfect and normal. "Do you want me to fix it?" He asks, looking very worried. It made me feel selfish. Like I was wasting his time. He has friends, he doesn't want to spend time with me."Just go away. It's fine." I say a little too curt, causing him to raise suspicion. "I don't think it is." He spits. My breath hitched. I noticed hurt and anger laced in his tone."Cole, just go! Please." I can feel my eyes start to burn and an uncomfortable lump in my throat forms. I need to get away from him. Sorry Cole.I grab my books and quickly run away, out of the classroom, ignoring my name being called by him. I run straight to the bathroom and put the same chair up against the door. Run, run, run. That is all I am good for. "Why did you run away?" The voice asked."I don't know." I replied knowing full well, that I ran because I was scared. Scared of him seeing me
Cole's P.O.V."This is Xavier." I say, turning around expectecting him to be there, but he isn't. Where did Xavier go?"Oh, he was here a second ago." My voice drifts away before Sarah interupts."Shh babe." I feel Sarah's finger on my lips. "It's okay. Now there is a party tonight at my place, everyone will be there, do you want to come?" She asks, blinking seductively. I usually become putty in her hand when she bats her eyes like that, but for some reason, it wasn't doing anything for me, not this time. This worried me, I'll have to admit."Please Cole..." She pleaded, while tracing shapes on my collar bone. This didn't work either, it used to, everytime, what is happening to me?
Cole's P.O.V.I know I'm late for my next class, but that doesn't bother me anymore. I'm usually late, so I'm sure the teachers don't mind. I go to my locker and get my things. A feel a heavy hand on my shoulder. I look and see Shawn and the gang."Hey Shawn." I say. He didn't look to pleased though."Where's the knife?" He asked bluntly."What knife?" I reply looking at the others for some kind of support."Oh come on Cole, I trusted you. Travis said he gave you the knife."I stood there confused, but irritated. I cast my glance at Travis to hear his input. But he didn't say anything. I could feel my temper risi
Xavier's P.O.V.Last session was hell. All I could think about was his girlfriend. I'm a mess. Why am I even obsessing over him? He clearly doesn't want anything to do with me. He already has a lover, what am I to him? I can't be his friend, because he is already friends with Shawn, and Shawn hates me. Even if we were to become friends, my selfish self would want more, I'd want to be his boyfriend, but he wouldn't want that.The bell rang, I got up from my seat and went to my locker.6221There were no yellow sticky notes. I still need find out about the previous ones. I grab my bag and quickly exit the school. I look up and see that the sky is grey.