4.

Stay?

What was that supposed to mean?

The colour of the writing really made me curious. It was very red. Almost like blood.

No. No. It can't be blood. I thought to myself. The bell rang, which brought me out of my thoughts. I kept this paper. I thought about the other one.

Are they clues?

But why would someone give me clues? No one really knows me here.

I decide to fetch the other note out of the bin.

"What the fuck? What are you doing you hobo?" A booming voice comes from behind me. I look up and see it's the same guy from earlier, but this time, he had a gang.

I couldn't speak. His mere presence would make me feel like a thread was being sewn between my lips, painfully closing them.

"Well?" He stood there awaiting my response.

"Don't you have a class to go to?" I asked. What? As if he cared about class. Why did I say that?

"Pfft. Haha." He laughed along with his friends. But one wasn't laughing. He was just staring at me. I couldn't help but notice his face. It was... perfect. His hair, blue as the sky. It was amazing. He was amazing.

"Oi!" The guy snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Leave him alone." The blue-haired boy said. His voice was heavenly, I could listen to it all day. The poet inside of me described his voice. 

 ‘Travelling down a track of silk

Velvet to the touch

I wanted it so very much

To be bathed in this sensual thing

Would be the ultimate dream.'

I cringe immediately. And shake my head. Xavier stop. You can't be like this. You will be punished.

I look away, and grab my things from my locker, ignoring everyone, including the blue-haired boy.

I didn't want to ignore him. But I knew I had to, for my own safety.

I lock my locker and start to walk off to my class.

"Come back here!" I heard the guy yell.

"Stop Shawn please." I heard that voice say. The voice that made me blush. He was standing up for me.

Blush formed on my cheeks, my temperature rose. But that was stopped by my father's voice. The memories which replayed themselves, they stained my brain.

'I don't want you in our family if you are like that!'

'We need to fix this problem.'

Problem? Was being gay a problem? I didn't think it was. But my father thinks it is. I don't know what to do.

I arrive on time for my third class which happened to be art. I love art. It is like writing or music, something cathartic. I looked around the room. I didn't want to sit somewhere where I would disturb the 'already-made' table groups. So I decided to sit at the table in the back. It was a single table, so I shouldn't be disturbing anyone. I took out my art book. Not my personal one, but the one just for school. Trust me if someone saw my personal one, they would run for the hills.

"Okay is that everyone?" The teacher asked looking around the class. I looked around to see who I was with. They all seemed nice.

"Okay class, today we are studying portraits and how to draw them in proportion and how to get the tone right, to create an illusion of realism. Now- Oh hello, you are late, but that's okay sit down." I looked at the door.

My breath hitched and chills shook me. 

"Fuck." I cursed, under my breath.

"Shawn, please take a seat." The teacher advised. This ruins everything. This class was perfect before he came. Help me please.

"Alright, Miss." He said. He looked straight at me. I felt frozen like a deer stuck in the headlights. I was going to be hit by this truck, he was going to smash me, and I didn't want him to.

"Actually, Shawn, because of yesterday's behaviour I gave you a seating plan. You sit next to Donna over there."

Thank goodness! All the stress washed away with the teacher's words. I could still feel his gaze on me. It was pressuring, but I could ignore it.

Finally, last session of the day. I tried my best not to, but all I could think about was that blue-haired boy. His face was so smooth and it's engraved in my memory. At lunch I looked everywhere for him, I even sacrificed myself by going near Shawn, I just want to catch a glimpse of him, even just for a second, just once more. 

The bell rang.

"Okay class, it's home time, make sure you study your books when you get home so you are ready for tomorrow's session. Good bye class."

Everyone left. I take a long time gathering my things. I finally collect everything and exit the class. So many people in a rush to go home. They must all have plans, social plans. I'm alone. I just sit in my room and write. I sometimes think that it's useless just sitting there, no one will ever see my writing, it will just rot, like I will when I die. It's quite sad thinking about it, so I tend not to.

I open my locker and grab my bag. I still have the yellow sticky notes from before, I plan to examine them once I get home.