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2020-05-24 15:28:14"Who's he?" I asked, I blink as my eyes dart from my desk to the door in a nervous matter.
I then scanned her face, she seemed scared almost. Who can scare a person this much? She was about to speak, but she looked at the door and quickly walked way.
I looked at the entrance.
The hair.
It was him.
He was in my psychology class.
Oh fuck. How am I supposed to concentrate now?
He walked towards me.
Why was he coming towards me?
Everyone looked scared. Some avoided him completely whilst others jumped from him to their desks, and others were just caught, like a deer in headlights.
Was it him that sits here? Is that why he heading my way?
Oh crap. I quickly got my things, ignoring the tremendous pain travelling up my arm. I pushed myself of the seat about to move to another table.
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Crap. Please go away Cole. I don't want you to see it. I don't want you to see me in my damaged form. I want you to see me as perfect and normal. "Do you want me to fix it?" He asks, looking very worried. It made me feel selfish. Like I was wasting his time. He has friends, he doesn't want to spend time with me."Just go away. It's fine." I say a little too curt, causing him to raise suspicion. "I don't think it is." He spits. My breath hitched. I noticed hurt and anger laced in his tone."Cole, just go! Please." I can feel my eyes start to burn and an uncomfortable lump in my throat forms. I need to get away from him. Sorry Cole.I grab my books and quickly run away, out of the classroom, ignoring my name being called by him. I run straight to the bathroom and put the same chair up against the door. Run, run, run. That is all I am good for. "Why did you run away?" The voice asked."I don't know." I replied knowing full well, that I ran because I was scared. Scared of him seeing me
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Cole's P.O.V."This is Xavier." I say, turning around expectecting him to be there, but he isn't. Where did Xavier go?"Oh, he was here a second ago." My voice drifts away before Sarah interupts."Shh babe." I feel Sarah's finger on my lips. "It's okay. Now there is a party tonight at my place, everyone will be there, do you want to come?" She asks, blinking seductively. I usually become putty in her hand when she bats her eyes like that, but for some reason, it wasn't doing anything for me, not this time. This worried me, I'll have to admit."Please Cole..." She pleaded, while tracing shapes on my collar bone. This didn't work either, it used to, everytime, what is happening to me?
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Cole's P.O.V.I know I'm late for my next class, but that doesn't bother me anymore. I'm usually late, so I'm sure the teachers don't mind. I go to my locker and get my things. A feel a heavy hand on my shoulder. I look and see Shawn and the gang."Hey Shawn." I say. He didn't look to pleased though."Where's the knife?" He asked bluntly."What knife?" I reply looking at the others for some kind of support."Oh come on Cole, I trusted you. Travis said he gave you the knife."I stood there confused, but irritated. I cast my glance at Travis to hear his input. But he didn't say anything. I could feel my temper risi
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Xavier's P.O.V.Last session was hell. All I could think about was his girlfriend. I'm a mess. Why am I even obsessing over him? He clearly doesn't want anything to do with me. He already has a lover, what am I to him? I can't be his friend, because he is already friends with Shawn, and Shawn hates me. Even if we were to become friends, my selfish self would want more, I'd want to be his boyfriend, but he wouldn't want that.The bell rang, I got up from my seat and went to my locker.6221There were no yellow sticky notes. I still need find out about the previous ones. I grab my bag and quickly exit the school. I look up and see that the sky is grey.
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Xavier's P.O.V."Please!" He begs, once more."Why?" I yell feeling frustrated and confused. All my emotions swirled inside of me, banging on the inside of my body, screaming for escape."Because I don't want you getting wet!" His tone laced with concern. Silence consumed us before a rush of emotion imploded within me."Why are you being so nice to me?!" I scream, feeling almost defensive. My heart was racing a million miles per hour whilst the rain battered down on the both of us. Cole ran up to me."Because, I li- I don't want you getting sick. Your parents will worry."That triggered me off. My emotions couldn't hold steady any longer. It almost felt like my being was ravished by my intense emotions. Some have been trapped in their for a while, I'd imagine they would look rotten and hor
Last Updated : 2020-06-02Please Stay 14.
Cole's P.O.V.Xavier waved goodbye. He looked anxious and so small in front of the house. I wanted to stay with him. He told me his parents would kill him if they found out. I really wished that wasn't the case.I drive off to my place so I can dry off and put more... how do I say it? Party type clothes on. Sarah would arrive very shortly. I got out of the car. None of my parents or siblings were home yet. So I didn't have to greet anyone. I went straight up stairs, put on my leather black jeans, which I quite like, and another long black singlet on. I dry my hair and put on my red cap backwards, I look pretty good, not being vain or anything. I spray deodorant on and go downstairs. All that was on my mind was Xavier. I hope his parents aren't as harsh as he told me they were.A knock on the door startles me. I get up and peek through the peephole to see Sarah. I open the do
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Xavier's P.O.V.My hands start to tremble as I stand in front of my father."Who was that, son?"Did he see him?"Come inside, come on." He acts nice around the neighbours, but once I step inside, it's a different person.He slowly closes the door, turns around and smiles at me. It reminds me of a predator, smiling at its helpless prey.My breathing becomes faster."Who thefuck was that?!" He threw the lamp next to him off the table, making it smash into a million pieces.I can't speak.I'm frozen."Whose jacket is that?!" He towers over me and shoves my left shoulder, I stumble away from him."Because I know it isn't yours!" He rapidly charged towards me, ripping the jacket
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Cole's P.O.V.I take the bag.I can't disappoint my friends.But are they even my friends if they want me to harm myself?I get given an already made cigarette.I smoke it.The effects are felt straight away.Dizzy, nauseous, light-headed.This is not me.But Sarah loves this me.She jumps on me, touching and feeling me, I respond, but not willingly.We kiss, very roughly and passionately."Oh Cole, I miss you, I love you." She says, while lightly biting my neck.I forget what happened for the remainder of the night.I open my eyes. The bright sunlight burns.I place my hand above
Last Updated : 2020-06-05
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The professional tone of the young adult's psychiartrist echoes. Her hooded eyes scan the room. The bedroom. What was supposed to be a sanctuary was just a reminder. A reminder that she was still alive and would wake up in the same place every, single, day.Change was needed. But change was too scary, too hard, too risky. The young adult saunters cautiously around the room. Cautiously being the keyword. You are too careful. You are just existing.But things were worse and could, at any moment without her knowing become worse again. So maybe being careful was her only choice.Her eyes caught on an object, an old friend. Her doctor's voice repeating, 'bring something to me next session, something that helped you get better'. She was far from better, but was a little further from worse.Her fingers tightened around the object, and her scars tingled. The ghostly pain she inflicted on herself months ago taunted her but she
Please Stay 66.
Cole P.O.V. I walked home from the hospital that night. Hal offered me a ride, but he has already done too much. An uncomfortable moisture hung about in the air. The streets were empty but they felt crowded. Like he was there, he was everywhere. The grass reminded me of him. The grey clouds screamed his name. Yet he wasn't here. I finally reach the front door of my house. My mum opens the door. I stare at her jolly face, for a moment I feel like yelling at her. Ignorant. How could she be happy right now? But I bite my tongue, she doesn't know Cole. I give her a brief grin, lips tight in a line before heading up to my room. The house feels empty. Yet the couch, I swear I could smell him and see the dint in the cushion his body left. I stop halfway up the stairs and turn to see the kitchen. Clean. Whatever happened to yesterday? Did yesterday even happen? I lower my eyes and head off to my room and close the door behind me. "Xavier?" I call out. Yes?"I'm sorry." I respond. I hea
Please Stay 65.
Xavier's P.O.V.All the memories from last night are rushing through my mind. The intense hurt, love and peace that coursed through me was unmatchable. I could feel myself laying on a comfy bed. Cole's. He took me back inside. Hopefully we can patch things up. The sun seemed to be shining straight down on me, through the curtains, it was so bright. The birds, they were chirping.But I as I listened closer, something about the bird's chirps were weird, they were so... perfectly spread out from each other. So automated. I listen closely. It doesn't sound like birds anymore, more like a monitor or a system, a familiar sound. A haunting sound.I open my eyes. The sun is right above my eyes, blinding me so. I open my eyes again, squinting to make out the light source above me.Wait... that isn't a sun... it's a light, attached to a ceiling. I look t
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Xavier's P.O.V.We freeze. I just hang where I am. Time stops and his warm touch turns cold and feels invasive. Blinking, I step away, my nose burns as well as my eyes. My eyes trained on a distant spot in front of me.My arms were stretched out in front of me, I felt like a stone statue, or rather, the statues in Pompeii. Burnt and frozen.Cole's posture thaws and I see his slight movement. I lift my wide eyes towards his hooded ones. His mouth contorted in regret and guilt. For the first time, I see the ugliness of him. Even through my blurry and shaky vision, his features seem sharp and painted with a cruel brush. Like my whole body realised, my skin feels hot but cold. Shrouded in this greyness of betrayal and hurt, like no other."I'm sorry." He mouths. His voice is too distant for me to hear. Muffled. Like I was under water. Everything was slow, stilll and quiet. But the excruciating pain was deafening and all I co
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Cole's P.O.V.I wake up feeling excited, butterflies swirl in my stomach. I creep out of bed carefuly, trying not to pulll the blankets off Xavier's sleeping body.I walk into the bathroom and freshen up, it's been two weeks coming. Today, is going to be Xavier's day. His condition is deteriorating. Each day that he wakes up, his jaw becomes more defined and his face hollow. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and stare at this deathly person before me. His skin is getting as white as the moon that shines in our bedroom at night and illuminates his ghostly face.On the outside, he wasn't the Xavier I knew and it hurt me that I could find him resistable. It really hurt.Sometimes I my eyes will open and my heart would leap into my mouth.Is he dead? I keep on asking myself at night when I wak
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Cole's P.O.V.I tear my mind away from these dangerous thoughts and took in my surrondings."A music store..." I exhale in wonderment. Xavier and music huh? Why did I never know this? It hurt a little and only made those dangerous thoughts stronger. "Come." Hal smiled and walked into the store.Instruments were hung and some were laid on the floor. I saw a drum set and was instantly taken back to my childhood. I stopped and just admired them. Hal noticed and stood next to me, he had a lopsided smile playing on his face."Are you a drummer?" He asks, hands in his pockets. I raise my eyebrows. "I thought I was going to be." I admit. I look back up at Hal, my heart pounds a little faster. He turns his head to the drums. "Not too late." With that he continues strolling down the aisle leaving me feeling a whirlpool of emotions I've never felt before. It scared me.I didn't know if I was just phsyically attracted
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Cole's P.O.V.I watch Xavier enter the building. His little body in this huge, grey towering building. My heart breaks and beats for him.All of a sudden, my mind screams at me, no, it begs me. I need to show him how much he means, before it's too late. Wait, it won't ever be too late, he'll be cured and we can live out our lives together. Get out of this God forsaken town and go somewhere fascinating. Italy, France, anywhere. We can grow our own fruits and vegetables, pick strawberries by day and seductively eat them at night by the romantic moonlight.Yes, that is what will happen. I know it. I need to show him now though. I pull my mind out of this fantasy and remember it's the last day of school.I shake my head.One day is all I need, to create a memory that will last a lifetime.I decide to ditch school. My stoma
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Xavier's P.O.V.I get out of the shower, dry myself and head back into the bedroom to see Cole sitting on the bed in a black tank-top and black skinny jeans. His toned arms and legs on show. I blush at the sight."You can go have a shower now." I tell him, avoiding his gaze whilst folding the dirty towel and placing it in the corner so I could put in the wash later."Nah it's all good. I'll have one when we get back." He says chucking his phone to the side of him and falling back onto the bed, his arms behind his head."So are you having a treatment today?" He casually asks. His tone kind of irritates me, but I wasn't sure whether I was annoyed at him or at my illness. I decide to throw the idea away."Uh, yeah I guess." I reply, laying across Cole's body in the opposite direction, so the back of me was rest
Please Stay 59.
Xavier's P.O.V."Boys!""Boys!""Cole?"I open my eyes, they feel so heavy. I blink a couple of times to get used to the light."Xavier? Cole?" Cole's mother's voice echoes from the stairs as I hear her heading towards Cole's room. I look around, my mind is as sharp as it should be when I just wake up. I see Cole next to me, sleeping peacefully. His body in a sort of star fish position. He has no shirt on. I look at myself, I also don't have a shirt. I lift up the blankets and see we both have no pants on either."Shit." I mutter through a stifled laugh."Guys, I'm coming in," I hear Cole's mum call from outside. Panic sets in, she can't see us like this. I quickly push Cole off the bed, making it look like we hadn't sleep together. I then pull the blankets up to c
