Chapter 1

My wet palm landed on my mouth, covering my lips as I inwardly gasped in surprise. Each passing seconds that I am staring at the plastic rectangular thing that I am holding on my other hand-my eyes get blurry because of my sudden tears.

"Tangina..."

Two red straight line were seen on the pregnancy test that I bought earlier. Natataranta akong binitawan iyon at halos mandiri nang ihagis ko sa lababo ng restroom. My hands trembled in fear and shock as I searched for the other pregnancy tests inside the small paper bag.

Nanginginig ang labi ko at halos mag sugat na dahil sa mariin na pagkakakagat ko doon. My face contorted as I suppressed my sobs. My heart was thumping and clenching so bad and I couldn't take the pain that's slowly consuming inside me.

Libo libong tanong ang walang humpay na pumapasok sa isip ko. Hindi ko maintindihan, wala akong maintindihan. Hindi ko alam kung totoo ba talaga na nangyayari ito o panaginip lang.

Fuck! Hindi dapat ganito ang reaksyon ko!

After I found the two unused pregnancy tests, I glared at it while silently praying in my mind.

Please, this is not the right time to get pregnant. I am not yet ready. Wala akong maipapakain sa'yo. Wala akong magagawa para mabuhay tayong dalawa.

My heart ached at that thought. Imbes na maging maligaya sa hatid na bagong biyaya ay parang ayaw ko pa na tanggapin iyon.

Damn! How can I fucking accept it? Wala na ang mga magulang ko! Wala na akong ibang kamag-anak rito. Ako lamang ang bumubuhay sa sarili ko. Paano kami ng magiging anak ko?!

Tanginang kalandian 'to! Sabi na nga ba't ipapahamak lang ako nito. Bakit ba hindi ko naisip ito noon pa?

Suddenly, I thought about my Child's father. Marahas kong ipinilig ang ulo ko nang maalala ang nangyari kanina.

"Yeshua, I think... I'm pregnant." I breathed deeply and shut my teary eyes, hoping that he'll take the responsibility of our child.

I vehemently dropped off my back to the seat inside his car. Silence engulfed the whole car. Nakapatay ang makina niyon at nanatiling naka park sa parking lot ng condo niya.

Minutes passed, but Yeshua didn't answer. My brow creased so I had to look at him to check on his face. Mas lalo lamang kumunot ang noo ko nang walang nag bago sa ekspresiyon niya kanina.

Yeshua Torres was known as one of the fuck boys in our University. Hindi ganoon ka-yaman ang pamilya niya, ngunit sapat na para mabuhay sila at makahakot ng mga maikakamamang babae niya. He's nice, the reason why I kept him as my fling for a month now.

Sometimes, he would treat me outside for a date. Sinasamantala ko iyon lalo na't tuwing wala na akong pera pang tustos sa sarili dahil nauubos sa mga kailangan sa School. It's like hitting two birds with one stone.

"I can't take your child," he coldly stated.

Nalaglag ang panga ko sa narinig. I looked at him in disbelief.

"W-what did you say?"

Tangina, seryoso ba siya?!

Mariin siyang pumikit, tila pinipigilan ang sarili na mag salita upang hindi sumabog. His fists gripped tightly around the steering wheel. His jaw hardened in obvious anger.

"May problema kami sa pamilya ngayon.. Hindi ko matutustusan 'yong bata. I'm sorry..."

I heard his heavy sighs. Mas lalong nalukot ang mukha ko sa gulat. I can't believe him!

"Y-yeshua, seryoso ka ba? A-anong... H-hindi mo ako pananagutan? At anong 'your Child?' Tarantado, anak mo rin 'to!" I shouted at him and pointed at my tummy.

Mukha siyang problemado, panay ang kurap, siguro'y nag iisip kung paano kakawala sa akin. Mas lalo akong nairita sa isiping iyon. I can't help but to burst in anger.

"Tangina ka pala e! Kung hindi mo pala ako kayang panagutan, bakit mo pa ako binuntis? Tanginamo! Sarap na sarap ka pa noong pinutok mo sa loob-"

"Hindi lang ako ang may kasalanan dito Fiery! It's also your fault! Bakit ka pumayag na makipag sex sa'kin e alam mo naman pala na kapag na buntis ka e hindi mo kaya?!" he blurted out with his wide infuriated eyes.

My eyes widened because of his response. I pulled my hand upwards and let it hit harshly on his damn face. Napapikit siya at malutong na nag mura.

"Fuck you! Napaka gago mo! Alam mo na wala akong maibubuhay dito sa bata—"

"Iyon naman pala, bakit pumayag ka na gawin natin 'yon? Don't fucking put all the blames on me, Fiery! Kasalanan mo rin!"

My chest keep on heaving up and down while unbuckling my seat belt. I lifted up my chin and faced him confidently.

Kung hindi niya ako bubuhayin, kung hindi niya kami pananagutan ng anak ko, ayos lang. I will find my own way to get through to this shit. Hindi ko kailangan ng ganoong kasahol na lalaki. Hindi rin ako papayag na siya ang kilalaning tatay ng anak ko, nakakahiya! He doesn't deserve to be the Father of my Child. Kung ayaw niya, hindi ko siya pipilitin. Hindi ko kawalan iyon.

"Fine, sana hindi ka magsisi sa gagawin mong pagpapabaya sa amin ng anak mo. Alis na 'ko, break na tayo. Good luck sa bagong pipikutin mo," I gritted my teeth while uttering those words before I left him inside his car.

Napapikit ako nang bumuhos sa akin ang ala ala ng nangyari kanina. I am still wasn't sure if I was really pregnant awhile ago, but now that I tried it with these pregnancy test, I can't help but to feel scared.

Gustong gusto kong saktan si Yeshua kanina. I just stopped myself because I was afraid that he might fight back. Baka ikapahamak pa ng baby at mas lalo akong mawasak.

I know that I am not yet ready to have a child. Kasalanan ko at alam ko ang mga kahihinatnan nito, aminado naman ako doon. Pero hindi ko pa rin maiwasang hindi ma-dissapoint sa nangyayari, syempre pati na sa sarili. This is not included in my plans. Biglaan ito at hindi ko man lang napaghandaan dahil maski ako ay hindi inaasahan. But I don't want to abort nor kill the baby.

Hindi maitatama ang mali ng isa pang pagkakamali.

Although, a small part of me saying that it's understandable. Wala akong ipang gagastos, kaya't siguro naman ay okay lang iyon? Maiintindihan naman siguro ako ng Diyos? But, a huge part of me was saying that I should keep the baby and let him or her live.

Hindi ko na alam kung kanino ako tatakbo. I only have one thousand peso bill inside my pocket. Wala akong maibebenta na gamit ko dahil kakaunti lang naman iyon.

Tuliro ako nang maka uwi sa maliit na apartment na tinutuluyan nang hapong iyon. I am all alone, ni kaibigan ay wala ako. Marami naman akong kakilala ngunit hindi ko alam kung may willing ba na tutulong sa akin.

In the end, I just sighed in defeat and dropped out from my school. Sayang, graduating na sana ako ngayong taon.

Two weeks had passed. Sinikap ko na tipirin ang isang libo na natitira sa akin, ngunit ngayon ay wala nang isang daan iyon!

I shut my eyes and bit my lip aggressively. This is my only last resort. Kapag wala pa rin, hindi ko na talaga alam. I heaved a deep sigh and worriedly darted my eyes on the Club in front of me.

Suot ang isang maikling itim na damit na hapit na hapit sa akin at sapatos na hindi ko pa ganoong nasusuot, tinahak ko ang daan papasok sa mailaw, mausok at maingay na Club nang gabing iyon.

This is my first time to visit in this kind of place. I am not the innocent and the shy type of girl. I am actually the opposite, the bolder and slutty one. Kaya hindi ganoon kahalata na unang beses ko pa lamang ito, pero sa estado ko ngayon, nahihiya ako.

Iginala ko ang paningin sa dagat ng mga tao. Parang umuurong ang sikmura ko sa naiisip na gagawin. I saw some familiar faces, mga school mates ko iyon. Wala akong makita na matatanda o kung sino man na pupwedeng maging..

I sighed heavily.

I looked like a lost puppy inside that place. Ni hindi ako makabili kahit isang mumurahing beer! Tanginang buhay 'to. Baka kahit tubig o asin para sa alak ay hindi ko kayang mabili sa isang daang piso!

Napangiwi nalang ako nang maalala na buntis nga pala ako kaya dapat ay hindi ako uminom ng ganoon. I slightly cursed when I realized that I am also not allowed to go in this kind of place. Ang usok at mga amoy na nandirito ay hindi pupwede sa buntis na kagaya ko!

Halos mag madali ako sa pag labas dahil sa naisip. Fuck! Bakit ko nga ba nakalimutan 'yon?!

I was already outside when someone suddenly pulled my wrist and pushed me against the wall. Hindi naman malakas at tama lamang ang pagkakatama ko doon, ngunit hindi ko naiwasang matakot at mag alala.

It was dark on that side of the Club. The only light that illuminating the whole place was coming through the post light with an orange tone bulb above.

My eyes widened when I felt something soft and wet damped against my parted lips. The man tenderly pressed his lips on mine. I can't help but to close my eyes and feel the electricity raging through my system while kissing him back in the same ferocity.

Tangina, kaya ka nabubuntis Fiery!

Mabuti na lamang at tumigil din iyong lalaki at dahan dahan na inilayo ang mukha niya sa akin. His eyes were weary and he keep on panting so fast while staring deep in my eyes.

I don't know this man. Base sa itsura, siguro'y mas matanda siya sa akin ng isa o dalawang taon. His eyes seems dangerous-no, erase that. He is indeed, dangerous. Base pa lamang sa aura niya, halata mo nang hindi ka safe dahil ang mga ganitong lalaki ay katulad rin ni Yeshua.

Hit and run.

"Thanks for the kiss," he whispered softly.

His red wet lips turned up in a smug smile. My mouth parted in shock. Doon lamang tuluyang na proseso sa utak ko ang nangyari.

"H-hoy! Bakit mo ako hinalikan?!" agresibong utas ko.

His brow shot up. "Bakit tayo naghalikan? Yan dapat ang tanong mo."

Natigilan ako at napipilan sandali. I suddenly thought about my current state. Hindi kaya..

I surveyed him from head to toe. Napaamang siya at kita sa mukha ang pagkalito dahil sa ginawa ko. I smirked.

He looks rich. Iyon nga lang, hindi ako sigurado kung mabait ba siya o matino. Maybe I can seek for his help? Peperahan ko lang, madami naman na akong kasalanan. Kaibigan ko na yata si Satanas, sagad sagarin ko na ang pag punta sa impyerno. Kung masamang tao man 'to, sana lang ay mabilis akong makakawala rito.

Kasi naman e! Sugar Daddy nga ang hanap ko, bakit pang Baby Daddy ang ibinigay sa'kin?

"Buti na lang nakita na kita. Ilang linggo na kitang hinahanap!" I tried to act like I was relieved or something. Sana lang pasado ang acting skills ko.

His head tilted as he examined my face in confusion.

"Huh?"

Lumawak ang ngiti ko. "We had sex weeks ago. You impregnated me," I casually said like I just didn't dropped a bomb.

Nalaglag ang panga niya at halos tumakbo na palayo sa akin. He stepped backwards and looked at me ridiculously.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Oh? Hindi mo na ako maalala? Grabe, ilang babae ba ang mga naikakama mo?"

Shit. I just hope that he's really a fuck boy. Kung hindi, patay ako. But just like what I've said awhile ago.. He looks like a fuck boy, kaya siguro naman ay mapipikot ko ang isang 'to?

"W-wait... W-what?!" he muttered.

Pagak akong tumawa. "I am pregnant, you're the father of my Child-"

"B-but, how?!" his eyes lingered at my tummy for seconds like he's trying to peek inside of it, to check if I was really telling the truth.

"Uh-huh, ipinasok mo ang ano mo sa ano ko? At sa huli ay ipinutok mo kaya may nabuo?" alangan kong sagot.

His mouth gaped open as he stared at me, flabbergasted by what I've said.

"H-how can you be so sure that it's mine?" parang nandidiri pa siya nang itinuro ang tiyan ko.

I chuckled softly. "Well, ikaw lang naman ang huling naka sex ko. Ang huli ko bago ka ay three months na. And as you can see, hindi pa halata ang tiyan ko—"

"Wait, are you sure that you wasn't lying?" he eyed me in askance.

I am lying.

My lips set in a grim line. "Yes. I am really pregnant." But it's not yours.

Nakakaguilty naman. Talaga bang idadamay ko siya sa problema ko na 'to?

I immediately spoke again. "Uh, ayaw mo ba ako panagutan? Kung ayaw mo, ayos lang kung hindi mo ako pakakasalan at ibabahay. Basta ba tustusan mo lang kami kahit papaano?"

Umiwas ako ng tingin upang hindi mahalata ang kabang nararamdaman. Ang kapal ng mukha ko. Sa isip ko ay para akong tangang nag dadasal na sana ay maniwala siya sa akin, kahit na alam ko na imposible. I almost cried when I realized how desperate I am right now.

"P-please? Promise, babayaran kita kapag nanganak na ako at nakapag trabaho. Nag drop na kasi ako sa School, wala na akong pera, singkwenta na lang. Please? Hinanap lang talaga kita para mag baka sakali na tulungan ako..." I straightly confessed while shutting my eyes.

God, please. Alam ko po na maling mali, pero sobrang wala na akong choice. Please, ngayon lang po ako hihiling, kahit ito lang po.

Then, I silently thought about my baby.

Please, baby. Help mommy. Para sa'yo 'to. Para sa atin...

"Fine. Let's go and talk about it," a baritone voice said, making me open my eyes in surprise.

Shit! Totoo ba talaga 'to?!

He has no reaction at all. Hindi ko mabasa ang nasa isip niya. Nahihirapan ako, ngunit hindi ko maipagkakaila na natuwa ako sa pag payag niya. Is he serious?!

"A-are you serious? N-naniniwala ka talaga? P-papayag ka na?!" I couldn't hide the happiness and hope in my voice.

His jaw clenched as he remained silent for minutes, tila'y nag iisip. Unti unti ay para na akong nawawalan ng pag asa dahil baka mag bago na ang isip niya. I can't believe this! Ang bilis niyang pumayag!

Baka naman may gagawin 'tong masama kaya ganoon? O baka naman naawa sa akin kaya pumayag? Sana talaga matulungan niya kami ng anak ko.

"H-hoy..." I tried to poke his hard chest.

He scowled at me so I smiled awkwardly. His eyes were cold as he nodded a bit while suspiciously staring at me.

"But it doesn't mean that I already accepted you and that child. I need a DNA test, while we're still in the process, you'll stay with me and I'll take care of you and that baby."

I gasped and nodded repeatedly. Hindi ko mapigilan ang pagkawala ng ngiti. Shit! Pumayag nga siya!

"Thank you!" I cheerfully said before I hooked my arms around his neck and crashed my lips against his.