7

I promised Jake that I will take the day off on Sunday, which I did.

I went home.

Allowing myself to reminisce every memory I have of my Grandparents the moment I set foot in Nonna’s garden.

Thick and lush foliage Marigold is a huge contrast to the little sunflower softness of her daisies. Variety of orchids clung to the driftwoods that she specifically ordered from Italy. Two-lipped ray florets of gerberas in bountiful colors nestled under the beauty of greens. As I reached the double doors, the mingled scents of jasmine and roses did it for me.

I am home.

I sighed deeply, unlocking the door. Soon I was engulfed by the fresh roses and jasmine that our house cleaner handpicked from the garden. Nonna loves having the fresh flowers scents. She once told me that if she could grow a Sakura tree in our garden, she would be over the moon.

This mansion is Nonno’s pride. His design was intended to have that sophisticated indoor and outdoor experience of the coastal living. Even the materials used in construction were ordered from Italy.

As the ten foot smart door swung open, the soaring ceilings with an open staircase welcomed me. The house was naturally lit by the skylights, it’s even prettier in the evening when the stars are visible. Walking further into my home, the spacious Arclinea design kitchen opens into a spacious dining, living bar and lounge area.

Heaving a sigh, I climbed the stairs and headed to my room. The majestic view of the Pacific and its waves that screams power from my balcony had me wandering. I haven’t touched the ocean, nor have had the strength to come and dip in its waters.

Shaking my head, I went inside my walk-in closet and changed into my green bikini. Topping it with my robe and a towel in one hand, I headed out back through the kitchen to the infinity pool. Removing my robe, I stretched my limbs before jumping into the waters.

I did a few laps. Needing my muscles to work further to exhaustion.

The water in the pool was calm and controlled. A lot more different from the ocean in a distance. The crystal blue water reflecting the clueless skies, so far from my reach.

After a few laps, I faced the sky, free floating like I weighed nothing above the water. Closing my eyes, the sunlight prickling my skin. I once again forgot to put on sunscreen and I smiled at remembering how Nonna would scold me… all the time.

“Bobbie,” the voice of our house cleaner Rose woke me up from daydreaming.

“Yeah?” I swam on the edge of the pool. The water sings with my movement. My palms faced flat on the edge, I lifted myself from the waters and reached for the towel I laid on the chair.

“How are you, little one?” Rose asked, putting down a glass of orange juice on the table. She is almost the same age as Nonna and when I was dried enough, I pulled the kind lady for a hug.

“I’m alright,” I reached for the glass of juice she prepared and took a huge gulp and mumbled a thank you.

“I can stay here for a while with you if you want,” she offered, clearly consoling me, wanting to join me in my misery.

I shook my head. Rose is taking care of her grandchildren, two of them are living with her and I would never ask her to stay in. “I’m good, thank you. Jake will be back soon from bootcamp.”

We talked some more about things not concerning her previous employer’s death. When she bid goodbye, I did a few more laps and only gave up when I felt my muscles screaming for rest.

I took a shower, made lunch and laid on my bed. Sleep is easy when the body is exhausted. I learned this in the last couple of days and it’s a pleasant escape.

When I opened my eyes, it was already dark outside. I saw a few messages on my phone, but my Instagram account was going on haywire. Too many notifications popping up, and I was suddenly curious what the ruckus was about.

My heart clenched at the video I’m seeing. Part of me wishes this was just a not so funny prank, or a nightmare gone bad.

My phone kept vibrating as I watched the video on replay.

It was Jake, clearly wasted and in a party mode. The lack of lightning dimmed the video, but because of good technology; the uploader made it seem taken in the luminescence.

My boyfriend was sitting languidly on a couch, a girl with fiery red hair nestled comfortably on his lap, straddling him. Their lips locked in a heated passion, savoring the feel of each other’s mouth. Clearly lost both in their own world, they are oblivious of the person taking this intimate scene they’re having. People in the same wasted state gathered around them, drinks in their hand, uncaring about the betrayal Jake was committing against our relationship.

His hands rested on her hips, guiding her to grind against his obvious need. They are still fully clothed. Naked or not, I don’t think it will change the painful stab of an invisible knife being guided along my chest… aimed at my heart.

The pain was different. And when I say I know pain, I say this with fact backing my words up.

I am strong; I kept repeating this in my head, but my tears will scream a protest. My knees felt boneless, the carpeted floor of my room cradling my languid body.

This can’t be happening to me. I can’t accept this.

Not Jake.

No.

This is just a work of my imagination.

I don’t know whether my heart that I was building again piece by piece with my grandparent’s death can shatter into tiny pieces… it did. Jake did.

As I slumped there on my bedroom floor, my tear ducts abundantly graced me with the endless flow of its products.

I stared at the pearl white walls of my room, wondering why he would do this to me.

How can he say he loves me and kisses someone else? It’s not as if they are having sex. They didn’t have to. The result on my end would still be the same. He hurt me when he promised he won’t. Jake betrayed me when he said he wouldn’t.

It was difficult accepting someone’s death. I thought it was the most painful thing I would ever feel in my life, yet fate hit me hard. Where it would hurt the most.

Time passed by in slow motion. The path of my tears took dried and marked. I got no more tears, even if I wanted to cry more. The ring on my finger lost its meaning. At the moment Jake slid in on my fingers, I felt light-hearted, as if I was floating in the air. Now, it felt like an anchor keeping me at bay, holding me in a place that would not allow me to smile again.

There was a knock on my bedroom door and I got startled. Who could it be? I was alone in this house and no one has the key except for me. I was keeping Nonno’s handgun under my bed and I hastened to get it.

“Who is it?” I rasped. The pain that consumed my throat when I spoke was tolerable than the pain in my chest. I tucked the 92FS into the waistband of my jeans. Taking cautious steps to my bedroom door, my pace matched a deep inhale and exhale.

“It’s me,” that voice made me freeze.

Can it be real?

Is he here?

It’s been over ten years and his voice hasn’t changed a bit.

My door was unlocked, and before I could open it, it swung open revealing my cousin Mathew. His raven hair was longer than I remember, it was tied neatly in a low ponytail, giving a perfect view of his chiseled jaws and unshaven stubble. His skin was a little darker than before, but his blue eyes were still the same.

“Bobbie,” he whispered as I ran towards him, wrapping my arms around his waist and burying my face in his chest.

What are the chances that fate sent my favorite person in the world to my aide? It overwhelmed me with pain and happiness at the same time. I don’t know which one is the cause of the new set of tears.

Matt stayed in Italy for so long because of the family business. We grew up together, em and Matt. He was more of a brother to me than a cousin, and his presence is a much-needed one in my life right now.

“Shh. I’m here now. I’m sorry if it took me so long to come home.” I didn’t say anything as I continued to sob and sniff.

Tightening my arms around Matt, I savored the feel of comfort in his arms. I didn’t want to break away, in case he was just a figment of my imagination. It wouldn’t surprise me if he was. Jake’s action already took the meaning of the word surprise for me.

Matt kept apologizing, clearly unaware of the reason my tears are pouring like rain.