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Chapter 46
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Only Regrets Chapter 47
This is a dream again. I know. I shove him hard on his chest and stand at the ledge again, wanting to jump off. My heart is pounding in my chest. The ground seems so far, and the tiny people below are moving like ants. I can feel my legs trembling and a surge of panic rushing through my body. “Belle, get off,” Ethan growls. I glance back and see him. His face pale and eyes wide with fear. I know that look—he’s terrified of losing me. He reaches out his hand, his voice shaking as he calls my name. “Please, don't do it,” he begs, his eyes pleading with me to step back. “No. You wanted to ruin my pride. You wanted to ruin my relationship. You've ruined it. You've ruined everything. Let me die with peace, at least,” I shout. As I take a step in the air again to jump off the building, he grabs my hand and pulls me back, fuming with rage. “Just let me go. Let me go,” I groan, trying to free myself from his grip and sobbing continuously. “I will not let you die…until I'm breathin
Only Regrets Chapter 48
After crying for almost two hours in the rain, and at Aiden's place, now I don't even remember he was my boyfriend in the past. I am not feeling any hurt and pain. I heard people don't even like talking to other people or stepping outside their rooms after their break-ups. I am not feeling anything like that. Maybe, I wasn't in love that's why, or maybe because Aiden never treated me well. I was crying because of losing the challenge from Ethan, but now I am not even feeling the same pain I felt a few hours ago. Ethan is not laughing at me as I anticipated, because I have lost the challenge. I think I always misunderstood him. He's not that bad. As my phone starts ringing, my hands reach for my phone in my bag. It's Aiden. I don't want to talk to him. I end the call, but it starts ringing again and again. Getting frustrated by his calls, I block his number from everywhere. I step towards the table adjacent to the bed and place my phone on it. In the whole room, there's not a singl
Only Regrets Chapter 49
Running away from there, I reach downstairs again, weeping constantly from this agony. I don't want to face Ethan anymore. It is hard to digest that we both liked each other, but we both never tried to confess. The wet shirt clings to my body, heavy and soaked through. I shiver and sob uncontrollably, feeling the cold seep into my bones and heart heavy with pain. My wet long hair clings to my wet body, water dripping from it. Each breath I take is shaky, my chest tightening with each shiver. My body is shivering, not just because of getting drenched in rain, but because of my overwhelming emotions. I wrap my arms around my body, trying to calm down and seek some warmth, but it is no use. Tears mingle with rain water dripping from my hair on my face. It is feeling like a heavy weight pressing down my chest, making it hard to breathe. I feel broken, alone, and foolish. Why hadn't he told sooner? Why did I waste so much time over that idiot Aiden? I feel a hand gripping around m
Only Regrets Chapter 50
Tangling my fingers in Ethan's wet hair, I pull him for a kiss—a wild kiss. I am biting the poor boy's lips, kissing hungrily. He is kissing too, but my gentleman is not biting my lips. “Wild cat…” he murmurs in between our kisses. I chuckle at his words. “Were you expecting a shy girl?” I cock my brows, slipping the straps down from my shoulders slowly; and then, I throw my bra away. He shakes his head. “Not at all.” Wrapping his arms around my waist, Ethan pulls me closer, trailing warm and soft kisses all over my neck. I struggle to catch a breath. “I could never like a shy girl. I love your boldness, Belle,” he whispers. Feeling my chest tightening more by each passing second, I feel like crying. “Ethan, my breasts…” I whisper, gasping for air. Trailing down to my breasts, his lips circle around my nipple. A soft moan escapes my mouth. The first lick is electric, sending waves of pleasure in my body. My fingers tingle in his damp hair, pulling him closer to me. His touch
Only Regrets Chapter 51
I embrace him in a tight hug and we both kiss each other. He tangles his fingers with mine and holds my hands tightly, pinning my hands on both sides of my head in the bed. His kisses grow wild, leaving me gasping for air. He starts trailing kisses all over my collarbone. When he's done kissing my neck, he lowers his head down below my belly. Gasping for air, I arch my back as his lips find my soft spot between my thighs. The first lick sends waves of pleasure in my body. My hands clutch on the bed sheet as tight as it can, while a loud moan escapes my mouth. My pulse quickens and tears brim in my eyes as he continues his teasings, making me moan again and again. With a slight force, he enters his fingers. I cry out in pleasure, arching my back as his fingers and tongue work like magic. As a knot forms in my stomach, I feel more impatient. My moans grow louder. “What the heck are you doing to my body, Ethan?” I cry out. Tears trickle down my eyes, as my whole body tenses
Only Regrets Chapter 52
As I gain consciousness again, I witness Ethan sleeping peacefully in between my legs, hugging my waist tightly, his head laying on my stomach. On the spacious king-sized bed, he seems completely at ease. How peaceful it is to see him like this! I can literally stare at this guy for my whole life. My hands tangle in his hair, and I begin to caress his hair, feeling at peace and happiness. In this moment, everything feels perfect—like a dream; and I'm filled with an overwhelming joy and contentment. Leaning his head back, Ethan stares into my eyes with his sleepy eyes. His lips curl into a smile. I grin back. Crawling to me, he lays beside me, pulling the blanket up to our waists; and tugs me closer to him, wrapping his arms around my waist and giving a soft peck on my forehead. I feel at ease. Our bodies are half covered. I lay my head on his chest, caressing his silver cross pendant that he always wears. His grip tightens around my waist. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I s
Only Regrets Chapter 53
I don't know why I let my guard down last night. I can't let that happen again. I can't trust him, or myself—to let my emotions take over my mind again. I need to put my walls back up. I need to guard up and protect myself. You are a drama queen, Belle. You always act whenever needed. Did you forget that? Today's the same as other days. Just start your drama. Act as if you don't care. Act as if you are not embarrassed, even when you are. Act as if the last night was just the result of your sexual desires and does not mean anything to you. All you have to do is just—act. Putting the same badass bitch facade on my face, which I always put to hide the real emotions on my face, I turn to see Mr. Wilson. There's an evil smirk on his face; and my eyes land on the red purple marks on his neck—that is obviously given by me. “Why did you slam the door?” I growl. “So that you don't run away from here,” he retorts. “Move your hand. I need to go.” “I won't. I need you to eat something
Only Regrets Chapter 54
After reaching the dorm room, I don't see Emily here. She might have gone somewhere. Thankfully, she isn't here. I want to be alone for a while. I need some time to process whatever is happening to me. Throwing my bag, phone, and the bouquet on the bed, as I try to sit, I wince. My lower back is aching badly. I've eaten outside; I can take pills now. I swallow the pills with water; and then, my eyes land on the bouquet again. Why did I not throw it somewhere? Why does it hurt me to hurt him? Do I have feelings for Ethan? “It's too early to consider it as love, but too late to consider it as nothing,” I murmur and pick up the bouquet again in my arms. It hurts me when I hurt you, Ethan. Why can't you just leave me alone? I am not ready to develop any deep, intense feelings for anyone. I don't know if you truly love me or not. Even if you do, I still don't want to be with you. I don't want any more drama. I know you are the same like your ex best friend, Aiden. I'll trust you, s
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Only Regrets Epilogue 2
The next day, overwhelmed by the realization that the boy from Corsica is actually Ethan, I decide to leave Sofia. I head to Corsica, hoping to relive the feelings and memories from my childhood, to see if they can help me understand the emotions that have been haunting me.The waves gently lap at the shore as I sit alone on the familiar sand of Ajaccio Beach, the place where our story began. The sun is setting, casting the sky in a warm, orange glow, but all I can feel is the cold emptiness in my heart, all I feel is the heavy weight of unanswered questions pressing down on me.I close my eyes, and in my mind, I can see Ethan sitting beside me, just like we used to. I lean my head on his shoulder, feeling the familiar comfort of his presence, even if it’s only in my imagination.“Why, Ethan?” I whisper, my voice trembling with the ache in my heart. “Why did you leave me waiting all these years? Why didn’t you come back for me?”Tears spill over, sliding down my cheeks as I continue,
Only Regrets Epilogue 1
I fold the letter and slip it into an envelope, carefully writing ‘A Letter I'll Never Give to Ethan’ on the front. I place the envelope in the book Beauty and the Beast, alongside the first rose Ethan gave me, the one I have pressed between the pages. With a deep sigh, I shut the book, trying to push away the lingering sadness.Just then, my phone rings. I answer, and my heart skips a beat when I hear it's a modeling contract offer.“Hello, Belle?” a voice on the other end says. “We’re thrilled to inform you that your first major modeling contract has been finalized. You’ll be featured on a billboard in Paris.”My eyes widen in disbelief. Paris—the city where fashion dreams come true—is where my face will be showcased. The excitement and pride swell inside me as I thank the caller and hang up, my mind racing with the reality of this incredible milestone.As soon as I hang up, tears well up in my eyes. This is my first major contract, a clear sign that my hard work is paying off. Over
Only Regrets Chapter 102
Ethan looks more grown-up now. If I'm twenty, he might be twenty one, I guess. He looks more like a man than the teenage boy I remember. He still has that same cold, intense look in his dark brown eyes and his jaw remains tight, just like before. But now, these expressions are framed by a more mature face. Seeing Ethan taking slow, deliberate steps toward me, my heart begins to pound so hard that I can hear it echoing in my ears. Everything around us fades away, leaving just the two of us, lost in each other’s gaze. I can’t move, can’t think—only feel the magnetic pull between us growing stronger with each step he takes. “Are you really here?” I whisper, as he finally reaches me, my voice trembling with disbelief.“Yes, I’m here,” he replies softly, his eyes shimmering with tears.Tears brim in my eyes as I lock my eyes with his. “I don't believe it,” I mumble. Seeing him here now feels like a dream I don’t want to wake up from. “I'm imagining you.”It has been two years since we sa
Only Regrets Chapter 101
It has been two years since I left New York City and Ethan behind. Now, at twenty, my life has changed dramatically. I’m thriving as a model, spending long days and nights on my modeling career. Photoshoots, fashion shows, and casting calls fill my calendar, leaving little room for anything else. When I'm not modeling, I'm handling my father's hotels and resorts businesses, trying to prove myself in a world that demands so much. It feels amazing, earning money by myself at this young age. In the whirlwind of responsibilities and ambitions, I've almost forgotten about love. Due to my busy schedule, I've completely let go of the idea of relationships and dating now. Two years have passed, and my shoulder-length hair—that had once been trimmed by Aiden—now falls comfortably to my mid-back. While it’s not as long as it was before, it has grown out beautifully, mirroring the changes and growth in my own life.I had been taking my medications and therapy sessions for schizophrenia as well,
Only Regrets Chapter 100
The journey back to Sofia feels like a blur. I sit in the private jet with my father, staring out the window but seeing nothing. My mind is consumed with thoughts of Ethan, the pain of our separation pricking my heart. Once we land, I retreat into the familiarity of our mansion, but it offers no comfort. Days turn into weeks, and weeks into months, yet the ache remains. I isolate myself, shutting out the world and everyone in it. My parents are frustrated with my demeanor, especially my mother, who doesn’t understand why I’ve stopped caring about everything I once loved.In the solitude of my room, time seems to stretch endlessly. I spend hours staring out the window, feeling no shift in my own heart. The walls of my room, once comforting, now feel like a cage. Every object, every corner, reminds me of Ethan, of what we had, and what I’ve lost. And Ethan's hallucinations make it even harder to forget about him. “Belle, you need to get out of this house,” my mother snaps one day from
Only Regrets Chapter 99
As graduation day approaches, the excitement that usually accompanies the end of high school is overshadowed by a deep sense of melancholy. I’ve spent the past few days packing up my belongings, preparing to leave the dorm that has been my home for these formative years. Every item I pack feels like a piece of my past being sealed away, and the act of boxing up my life brings an unexpected weight to my chest.The day arrives with its usual pomp and ceremony. The campus is filled with graduates in their caps and gowns, the air buzzing with a mix of excitement and nostalgia. The graduation ceremony itself is a blur of speeches and applause. I’m called up to receive my diploma, a moment that should have been filled with pride and joy. Instead, it’s tinged with sadness, as I feel the weight of everything that has happened. The graduation ceremony is also the final chance to see everyone before we all go our separate ways. Friends and acquaintances gather for one last hurrah. The atmosphe
Only Regrets Chapter 98
I push open the heavy wooden doors of the church, the familiar creak echoing softly through the quiet space. I walk down the aisle, my footsteps muted by the worn carpet, and make my way to my usual spot—a solitary pew in the corner.The church is dimly lit, shimmering with a soft glow from the candles flickering by the altar. I sit down, feeling the weight of my heart pressing heavily on my chest. I bow my head, folding my hands in my lap, and let out a shuddering breath."God, it’s me again," I whisper, my voice trembling with emotion. "I’m not sure how to start this conversation. I don’t even know where to begin."I close my eyes, trying to steady my racing thoughts. Ethan’s face flashes in my mind, and my tears begin to fall, tracing hot lines down my cheeks."I don’t understand why things had to end this way. I wanted so much more. I thought we had a chance, a real chance to be happy together."I take a deep breath, trying to calm the storm inside me."He said he loved me, but I
Only Regrets Chapter 97
Ethan comes running behind me, asking me to stop for a second. As I keep on walking on the road, my vision blurs by the car headlights. I'm too lost in my thoughts to notice the car speeding towards me. Suddenly, I feel a strong hand grab my arm, pulling me back just in time."Belle, what the hell are you doing?" Ethan yells, his voice filled with panic and anger.I can hardly breathe, my heart pounding from the close call. I look up at him, and his eyes are filled with a mixture of relief and fury. My mind feels like it’s spinning, and I can’t tell what’s real or just a trick of my mind. Everything around me seems to blur, and I feel disconnected from my own thoughts. It’s like I’m trapped in a fog, struggling to understand what’s happening.I'm just done with my life. The schizophrenia makes it hard to define for me what's real or what's hallucination. I've literally gone mad. It would be better if I would have bumped into that car. Why did he pull me back?“Why the hell are you he
Only Regrets Chapter 96
As he kisses and touches me, his hands roam possessively over my body. I gasp, feeling overwhelmed and exposed.“Ethan, it's enough,” I whisper against his lips.“No, it's not. I want more of you, sweetheart,” he whispers, his voice raw with desire. "What if someone enters and sees me like this?" I ask, my voice trembling with a mix of fear and desire. “I don't want anyone else seeing me in this semi nude form.”“You’re mine, Belle,” he murmurs, his voice low and possessive. “Every part of you is mine, and only mine. If anyone else dares to see what’s meant for me alone, I’ll make sure they regret it.”He looks at me with a fierce, possessive glare. "If anyone dares to see you like this," he growls, his voice dripping with intensity, "I'II make that person blind. No one can dare to take a glimpse of your naked form until I'm breathing. No one means no one.”Hearing Ethan's words, my heart pounds in my chest. The intensity in his voice, the fierce protectiveness in his eyes—it sends a
