Chapter 3

I breezed through work the next day, anxiously anticipating Alex's call. Just before it was time to go home, my office mate Drake looked up at me and chuckled.

"What's got you so happy?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. Sharing an office with Drake was a stroke of luck. He was the nicest guy who always knew how to lift my spirits.

I shrugged and replied, "No reason."

"Bullshit," Drake laughed, and I gave him a side-eye. "Tell me, what's going on?"

"I met someone," I sighed dramatically before adding, "online, while playing Call of Duty."

"No way!" Drake exclaimed, and I threw my head back, laughing. "Damn, Jess, it's about time. Where did you meet him?"

"Online," I whispered. "He knows I'm a woman, Drake. I'm not a girl anymore."

"Where does he live?" Drake asked, packing up his bag.

"Liverpool. I don't know how it's going to work," I shrugged, knowing I was getting ahead of myself. Drake stroked his beard, looking around the room.

"Well, it's not that far, just a different country. Have you seen him in person? You know, just to make sure he's not catfishing you?" he asked.

I laughed as I shut down my computer. "Yes, I've seen him. We video called last night."

"Oh!" Drake cackled as we left the office for the tube station. "I'm happy for you, but be careful with this online stuff."

"I know, you're right. He seems nice," I replied, grinning like an idiot. Drake playfully pushed me with his shoulder.

"You deserve it, Jess. Believe it or not, you can't play video games for the rest of your life."

"I could," I laughed as we waved goodbye. Drake went to a different platform, and I quickly made my way to mine. As I boarded the train, my phone buzzed in my pocket, and my smile returned. I pulled it out with three bodies pressed against mine and opened the message from Alex.

A: "Hope you had a good day. Will you be free in an hour?"

I beamed at my phone.

J: "Yeah, on my way home now."

Even if it meant not having dinner, I didn't care. As I got off the train and ran up the stairs, my phone rang. Confused, I answered, and my smile faded. It was my sister.

"Hey, Maddie," I breathed out as I walked out of the station.

"Jessica, do you forget about your sister and your nieces and nephews?" she laughed, but I knew it wasn't a joke.

"No, of course not. I've just been busy at work, sorry," I replied, though I wasn't sorry. Spending time with my extroverted sister drained my social battery within minutes.

"I have some news," she said. I rolled my eyes as I crossed the road to my street.

"Oh really? Are you pregnant?" I smirked, reaching into my bag for my keys. Maddie groaned, confirming my suspicions.

"Way to ruin the surprise," she said irritably, and I slammed the door shut.

"Sorry," I said, again not feeling sorry at all. Maddie and her husband Andrew really needed a TV in their house. This was baby number five. "That's fantastic news, Maddie. I'm so happy for you and Drew."

"Thank you. I haven't told Mom yet, so keep your mouth shut," she warned. I nodded, although she couldn't see me. I barely spoke to our mom, so that wouldn't be an issue. Walking to my bedroom with a drink in one hand, I desperately hoped Maddie would get off the phone soon.

"Will you come to Mom's soon?" she asked, sounding desperate. I felt a pang of guilt.

"Yeah, I will. I'll let you know when," I muttered, getting into bed.

"Great. I need to do the kids' dinner, so I'll speak to you later."

"Okay, bye," I said, trying not to sound too relieved. I rolled onto my side, waiting for my phone to ring. I had been looking forward to this all day, even wearing my favorite bra. It felt silly when I thought about it, but talking to Alex made me happy, and that's all that mattered. I did a little jump when my phone buzzed and saw his name. I answered, my smile not fading as he came into focus. I audibly gasped at the sight of him. He was wearing a dark gray suit, and I couldn't help but giggle.

"Hey," Alex said, turning to face me.

"You look nice," I giggled, and he came closer.

"You like my suit, huh?" he asked, and I nodded eagerly. "Sorry, I'm done now." Alex took off his suit jacket, and I actually moaned when I saw his white shirt sticking to his muscles.

"Who's the perv now, Jessica? Calm down," he laughed, walking out of the kitchen with his phone.

"Shut up," I managed to say, wishing the ground would swallow me whole. I watched him intently as he removed the rest of his suit and was left in just his boxers. Luckily, he wasn't looking at me, and I covered my mouth to stifle my reaction.

Rewrite: My mouth trembled with the groan that wanted to escape. If I looked hard enough, which I certainly did, I could see the outline of his penis under his black boxers. Alex grinned at me, bringing his phone to his face as he climbed into bed.

"Sorry, I should have called you earlier, but I told you an hour," he said, suddenly looking shy. I smiled and reassured him, "It's fine, don't be silly." I got comfortable and propped my phone up on one of my many pillows, adjusting my position to get a better view of him.

"Did you have a good day? You look nice, by the way," Alex's voice was low as he peered closer into the screen.

"I did, and thank you. What about you?" I asked.

"Boring, I couldn't wait to talk to you," he replied. I grinned and looked down, knowing that feeling all too well. I had thought about this conversation all day.

"Me too," I breathed out, my gaze still fixed on my duvet.

"Thank god you said that," Alex laughed, and I looked up at him on my screen. "Talk to me about yourself. Do you have any siblings?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as I scoffed.

"Yeah, my sister Maddie. She's older," I replied.

"Why the scoff?" he inquired.

"I actually just spoke to her before you called. She announced her pregnancy," I explained.

"No way, that's brilliant," Alex's voice grew higher, and I couldn't help but smile. I was genuinely happy for my sister, but it served as a reminder to my mom that I wasn't achieving what Maddie was.

"Yeah, it is. It's her fifth baby," I said, and Alex let out a laugh, causing me to throw my head back in amusement.

"Yeah, that's a lot of babies," he chuckled. "What about your mom?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. I had to suppress a groan and instead sighed.

"Me and my mom clash," I muttered.

"Why's that?" he questioned.

"We just don't get along. It's a long story," I mumbled.

"But why, though? How can you not get along with your mom? That's weird. What about your dad?" I froze, desperately wanting this conversation to end.

"He died a few years ago," I shrugged.

"Oh shit, sorry Jessica. How did he die?" Alex's face fell as he realized his mistake. I rolled my eyes, and he quickly apologized, saying, "Sorry, none of my business. I'll shut up."

"It's fine," I said flatly, suddenly not wanting to talk about it anymore. I sat up and decided to end the conversation. "I'm going to go," I stated.

"What the fuck?" Alex exclaimed, sitting up as well. "I said sorry, we can talk about something else."

"I just need to eat and then go to bed. I'm tired, sorry," I replied, hoping to put an end to it.

"Jess, what's wrong?!" Alex started to panic, but I didn't want to deal with it. I hung up on him, tossing my phone to the side. Biting my bottom lip, I felt hot tears streaming down my cheeks. My parents, especially my dad, were not something I liked talking about, and I definitely didn't appreciate someone prying into it. It never ended well. Maddie and I had countless arguments for the same reason. She wanted me to open up and begin some sort of healing process, but I wasn't ready for that. I managed my life just fine. Grabbing my phone as it rang once more, an audio call from Alex, I watched it ring, hoping he would get the hint. Clearly, he didn't, as moments after it stopped, he texted me.

A: 'I'm not sure what I've done, but let me fix it please.'

A: 'I'm not sure what I've done, but let me fix it please.'

Before I could even attempt to reply, he messaged again.

A: 'PlayStation?'

His text made me smile, realizing it wasn't his fault, and I felt a slight pang of guilt in my stomach. I got out of bed and headed to the kitchen. Quickly making myself a sandwich, I finished half of it as my PlayStation loaded. A message popped up immediately.

Alex: I'm sorry, I told you I don't have a filter?

Jess: 'It's fine.'

That's all I could bring myself to reply, and I clicked "join" when Alex invited me to our game.

Before our avatars even loaded, I heard his voice through my headphones next to me. I slipped them on as he called out, "Jess?" My heart skipped a beat at his words, and I suddenly felt a million times better.

"I'm here," I whispered.

"What's our plan of attack?" Alex asked, and I grinned. He was dropping the subject and pretending it didn't even happen, which was perfect for me.