I wanted a complete family for Andrei. I really do. Because I know what it feels like to not have the other parent beside you. I grew up without a mother. I explored the world without a motger's guidance. I faced my problems and solved them without the help of a mother. I knew I grew up well. Even if I don't have a mother beside me while growing up, my dad was there. And even when he was a little neglectful of me before, I kept reminding myself that it won't be forever… that my dad will come to his senses and go back to being my dad. I had to be strong on my own while growing up. I've made mistakes but I also learned to straightened them by myself. So far, I knew I grew up well. Apparently, when you're a parent, it's a different feeling. Not being able to have a complete family for your children has a different kind of pain. When I was a child, I accepted my fate because I thought it was my reality. But seeing my own son wonder why our set up is different from his other cla
I don't know what kind of preparation I should do. I don’t know how to prepare for me and my Mom’s meeting. I don't really know her so I don't know how to be around her. But then I thought, that's why we're meeting because we're trying to meet each other. Why am I torturing myself so much? Sometimes, anxiety really gets to me. Since I still have time before our actual meeting, I decided to check on the reports for the past week. I just set an alarm so I don't lose track of time. In the middle of focusing on work, my phone vibrated. It was a text from Zandrey. From: Zandrey Are you still doing well there? There was a grin emoji after that text. Even in texts, he still grins a lot. For all I know, he’s trying to make fun of me. He knows I'm feeling a little uneasy about meeting my mom. He should be there, but because he's still at work, he said he'll just follow right after his shift. I sent him an emoji with rolling eyes. Just a few seconds after hitting send, my
Our meeting started being awkward and very reserved. I thought it would last the entire time we're together, because I just knew I'm not the type of person who adjusts easily. She’s my mom, but I still have reservations. What can I do? We've never known each for more than two years. But then she started talking about how she and dad first, how dad pursued her, and everything that happened before they had me. There was something in her eyes while she was telling their story. I wanted to ask her if she still loves my father, but I decided against it. I feel like it won’t be appropriate because dad has Mommy Miranda now. I was able to ask questions about her and her family. There was extreme sadness in her face while she was telling the story of his family. Her parents, who are my grandparents I never met, are really strict and authoritative, and not to mention manipulative. She thinks it’s best I didn’t meet them. Oddly, we didn't even noticed the time. After we had our meal at t
The dinner was pleasant. It wasn’t as awkward as earlier. Maybe because Zandrey was there to always break the ice. But even if Zandrey wasn't there, I think that dinner would still go well. Talking to my mother really helped me become more comfortable with her. My mom went home first because she still has things to do. On the other hand, Zandrey and I decided not to go home just yet. But it was just a few moments after she left when we also decided to leave. Daisy called and said Andrei's already home and that he already looks so sleepy. That prompted me to just go home. Zandrey and I brought our respective cars so he didn't have to drive me home. He's been insisting on going home with me, but I kept pushing him to go home. He needs to rest. I know he was on a graveyard shift last night and his shuft went on until this afternoon. That’s why I’m aware that he barely slept today. “Drive safely,” I said when we were at the parking lot. Our pcars just beside each other.. “You a
Even with the clothes he’s wearing, I could still feel the heat of his body. I could feel how searing the kisses he’s giving me- from mouth, to my jaw, to my shoulder blades, and to my neck. Zandrey took his time discovering my upper body. None of my skin was spared from his wet kisses. Even with the cold wall behind me, I couldn’t seem to mind because the heat he’s giving me at the moment was enough to keep me warm. His lips then went to my breasts, he didn't waste any second as he quickly suckled on it. I arched my back to give him more access and that made me moan for his name. I don't know where to put my hands so I grabbed a handful of his hair because of how good he’s making me feel. Good thing my room was soundproof so I was confident that no one could hear from the outside. When he finished devouring my breasts, his face went up again and kissed me hard on the lips. He lifted me, so I wrapped my legs around his legs. And he slowly go inside the bathroom. He paused for
I don't understand what I'm really feeling right now. It's all mixed up- shame, panic, shock, and a lot more. I’m not sure which feeling is dominating. God, this is embarrassing. My eyes were still wide open while I listen to my son call me outside of this door, while Zandrey looked like he already recovered. He was starting to wear his clothes again. “What are we going to do?” I whispered, but even so, panic was evident in my voice. I’m still fully naked and I don’t even have a towel in this bathroom! It’s already late so I was confident Andrei’s already sleeping deeply. I didn't expect he would wake up! For sure he’ll be confused if he sees his father inside my room. He might think the wrong way! He's still young and he still can’t understand everything but god, that kid’s smart! My worst nightmare of being seen or known that we're doing it, has become a reality. Sure, we were not really seen but still! How are we going to explain this to the kid?! “Why don’t you go fi
It was a good decision to visit Mommy Miranda last week. Because when Monday came, my routibe has become just home-office. I have a lot of things to do in the firm. One of our architects ran away with the funds for one of our projects. I have a lot of meetings and reports just because of what happened. We're all in chaos and it’s really making my head ache. I feel like I will be ill anytime soon. “Should I help you there?” Dad asked. I was talking to him on the phone. I was consulting him with a lot of things lately. My mind's about to explode because of all that arose. If I don't ask for help, I might get insane. “No, Dad. I can do this,” I quickly said. He should spend more time with Mommy Miranda. I don't want him to be stuck in the office when Mommy Miranda’s suffering. “I can help, Aira.” “I know, Dad,” I replied. I massaged the side of my head. It really hurts. I might throw up. “But Mommy Miranda needs you more. If your help is really needed I’ll ask you to come,”
I was at the office the entire week. It was yet another week of no time for my son and other things. I don't get to spend so much time with him lately and I feel guilty. Even though I promised to make up for everything, I still feel bad. “Good morning,” somebody greeted. When I looked up, I saw Daisy smiling at me. She just entered the office and I noticed she also brought some food. “It's Saturday. Why are you working?” She asked. I know she knows the answer to that. I just gave her a smile, even if doing so still costs me energy. “You know... Things happened,” I murmured. “Is the culprit still free and roaming around the world?” She queried. She sat on the sofa, while I was still at my table. I shook my head. "He's good at hiding. We still don't have a lead." “You should take a rest,” she replied. “Even if I want to, but I really can’t sleep these days,” I answered. “No matter how sleepy and tired I am, I still end up waking up in the middle of my sleep. I only ge