38

I opened my eyes and woke up to a gentle caress, but it was just my imagination that someone was caressing me now.

I leaned against the headboard and hugged my pillow. I don't know how many days I have been locked in this room. I didn't want to talk and I lost my appetite and trust in the people around me.

I don't want to ruin my Mama's smile, I don't want Mama to be sad when I say that Papa has another child and he is older than me.

My family is breaking into pieces, first the issue with Lesaiah and then this. I don't want to ruin them, but I am the one who is suffering hard now.

I got off the bed and walked to the bathroom of my room. Sit in the bathtub and light a cigarette. My head is spinning while I hear the hum of the exhaust fan and my tears fall one after another. Along with my chest pain now.

I am the only one who knows and the only one who fights. I don't know how I can survive the deathly sorrow now. I don't want to be bothered by the people around me.

I feel weak, I lost