Novels by axxelehara

All my life, I kept running.Throughout my life, I have chosen to be free and let what happens happen. I don’t think about the consequences of every decision I make.As far as I know, I did what I wanted, and I was happy with what I did. I don't care if I get hurt.I don't care about everything that happens around me because I only think about myself, I only love myself and, most of all, I don't want to be loved.I'm afraid to fall in love. I'm afraid to see myself miserable.And lastly, I don't know how to love at all.I've never been in love in my entire life, but I know what the basis is that you love.During the time I have been selfish, many women have been with me, touched, kissed, and stalked.Even one of them. I felt nothing special, no one felt attraction and, most of all, nothing felt strange to them.That day, I made up my mind that I wouldn't fall in love. There is no love at all. If there is a reason why I do not feel Why does no love come to me when I need it?That was a

I'm dressed in a simple fitting dress with a pair of black stilettos and little make-up for this occasion.As I looked in the mirror at the image of my face, I was filled with dread.Why is it that I am so beautiful? What is it about me that makes me feel that no one loves me, that no suitable person is meant for and with me?I was a little rattled before getting to my feet and walking out of my apartment, where I placed my key card in my bag.Every stride I take makes me feel as though I'm sinking more and further. What more would I require in order to be invited to her engagement party?"Why? "What am I doing here with you?" I questioned Gage as I put my cigarette carton into the trash because I had run out of cigarettes before calling Gage.Just get out of here. I'm in the same boat as you. "He's a complete and utter non-entity to you, right?" Then I hung up the phone and disconnected the call.I'm hoping he's nothing more than a bother to me.When the elevator bell rings, I slow d

Three years later, I sat by the river, my feet in the water on both sides.I grin as my little hand embraces hers, her eyes sparkling brightly in the sunlight.Aria, exercise caution! Then I jumped into the lake and he looked at me, smiled, and waved.He's agitated and agitated. I'm not sure how I'm going to keep an eye on things like that. It was too much for the hymn to bear to carry his massive tyan. "I have three children to look after," he said, sighing.The hymn was hugged by Stephen, who laughed and said, "I'm really too young for you."Because they are so in love with each other, I refuse to pass judgment on them. It's just so enviable that I fantasize of having a child like theirs that is content even while apart from his or her family at times as well."Stop me, Stephen! Stop me!" It seems like our two youngsters are going to suck some foam! It is impossible for me to give birth to you, sweetheart!" Then I chuckled, walked up to Aria, and walked away from the two who were to

My eyes widened as I realized how heavy my body had become.I'm not sure how many hours I've been awake, but there isn't a day and I've stayed in bed for the entire time.I haven't gone to their mansion yet, mother, so excuse me. I don't want them to be concerned about my well-being. What happened to cause this to happen to me? I don't want to be a contributing factor to their predicament.It's also embarrassing to be in this situation."Ouch!" As I stood up and walked out of my room, I whimpered a little.I was no longer considered for inclusion in the swimsuit contest's judging panel. I was unable to say goodbye to Elise as well. Perhaps she will tell me more later, and I will rush to the location.I was scratching my back and it was still dark outside when I peered out the window to see what was happening.Is this the first time I've seen the sun? I'm completely oblivious to the time of day.The feeling is similar to that of being in a state of lucid dreaming and unable to realize

Remon shifted his gaze to meet me.Because it's so difficult to comprehend what's going on, my hand is perspiration-soaked. Why Why does he need to see that in the first place?"Whoa, are we just going to stand there and stare at Lesley? I'm not sure why you're kissing another man when you have a fiancé, but please explain." As he looked at me with serious eyes, his handkerchief had already crumpled and he was still looking at me with determination."He was of assistance to me. I'm on the verge of becoming marape-""Is there a pork chop saved that you should kiss right now? What type of lady do you consider yourself to be, Lesley?" What he said to me struck a deep chord with me.What type of woman do I consider myself to be?I greeted him with a grin and a handshake."Aren't you going to ask whether I'm all right to remonstrate?" I also asked him a serious question while maintaining my composure in the face of his intense gaze.Everything he says to me pierces my heart; it's all so di

I was about to collapse as I went away, and the bottle of vodka was still in my possession.I was completely unaware that I was a guest at the resort. I'm simply going to go for a stroll.The waves of the sea and the silence that appeared to sweep away all of the weight in my chest and the anguish I was experiencing caused me to break into tears.Why am I behaving in this manner? Already, I'd promised myself that I wouldn't fall prey to his ruse.For Lian, everything is simply a game. He knows he's simply a showman and that he won't be able to achieve anything meaningful with his life, so he admitted as much.And yet, despite his efforts to dissipate his image while kneeling in front of me and beseeching me to give him another opportunity, why did he just remark, "now that I'm happy with Remon"?Up until now, I have been unsure of what to do, what is correct, or what I think to be the case."Why? "Argh!" says the author. I moaned and then collapsed on the beach in frustration. Nothing

Leion was every girl's dream. He was like a knight in shining armor. No one expects us to be together. We all thought we would never reach the end, at the end.But we reached the latter. We got married and had a child far away, and his life was there, but again for no apparent reason.It's been a year since our wedding. That was the best, until he collapsed at the venue. We were dancing so sweetly at that time when he suddenly knelt down and his chest touched his chest. We ran him to the nearest hospital and when he died that day, we were told that we needed to fly to the US for his heart transplant.I thought we could enjoy that day, but no, Leion was so happy and it was so happy that he collapsed and everything seemed to slow down. I thought he was going to lose me now.I never thought we would get up early in the US. My twins are with their grandparents. I want to focus on Leion and the twins to understand our situation here. It is very difficult for me.Every day I wake up to appr

Seeing my only walking down the aisle with her drop dead gorgeous face and her attitude that every man will fall easily is the best scene of my life."Calm down, son, this wedding will be great for you." I looked at my dad, smiling at me, and he grabbed my shoulder."This wedding is the best both of you chose to get married, when we didn't force you or fix marriage." I smiled and wiped away my tears as I walked over to Aubrey. She looked pure in her gown."This is the best day of my life, and the girl that I wish would be mine forever." I put my hand in front of Aubrey in front of me and her dad was smiling at me too."This is your last wedding. Next time your sister Aubrey." She smiled sweetly and kissed her dad."Yes, Papa, I swear we'll make it work," she said, and then you looked up and smiled at me."Hello, Mr. Guavez," she said sweetly, the most beautiful sounds I've ever heard in my life; she's my life."Hi Mrs. Guavez," I slowly raised her hand and supported her, lifting and s

It's been a week since Leion was in the hospital and his security room is here. I almost lived here just to get close to Ashley."Sleep first," Leion said as I held my hand and smiled at me as I fixed his blanket.Later, Leion, I don't want to leave you here." He brushed my hair as he shook his eyes at me."You are the best thing I have ever had in my entire life." I listened to what Leion said while he was beside me. I didn't want to leave him because I was afraid he might suddenly leave me and I would be alone. I was scared"Leion, please promise that you will not leave me. You will not leave or lose me again. I am very afraid of losing my face. I will not be able to." She shook her head and wiped the tears from her eyes.I will not leave you. You are my good and happy, so why would I leave you? I took a deep breath and he rubbed my face."Deion said that we will get married next week. They are up to date because of my treatment and I am willing to do it so that I can be with you un

A warm hand touches my neck while I feel sleepy after the pool earlier. I love it. I want to do it again."I'm so in love with you." I was surprised to hear Leion's voice watching me a while ago while he was just stunned and smiling at me."Are you tired too much?" I shook my head and put his face on my neck. I hugged him and closed my eyes."You smell nice, Aubrey, so sweet," when my cheeks were hot as he said and something hit my side of something hard."Leion?" I parted from her and she laughed, holding my hand, approaching her."Morning sex is good, or shower sex if you want.""Pervert!" I screamed and stabbed her with a pillow as she laughed."I'm not my love. I know you want this too, right?" I shook my head, and he grabbed my hand and fell to his chest."Really? That's why you moaned so loudly last night and said, 'ugh baby more don't stop,' he made my voice tone, and what he said embarrassed me even more."What the heck, let's go downstairs. The twins are looking for us. ""Le

I was nervous sitting in the passenger seat while the kids were behind and watching a movie while me and Leion were on vacation in Batanes. We were going to our wedding venue. I was really nervous. My parents were wickedThey say they can take the preparation for 3 weeks with no delays. So are Leion's relatives and parents, who are also busy helping them prepare for Leion's wedding."Calm down lady, we're just going to get some clothes there and let's look at the venue you want since you like Batanes, right?" I nodded slowly and held her hand."We can make it simple, Leion.""Ayoko, you're not a simple lady and you deserve a fuckin' big wedding. You know that you deserve the best, the finest. " She kissed my hand and stopped the car at the big hotel and turned to the twins."Behave you later, ha? And after that, we will enjoy the beach and more. ""Yes we will, Papa, and I will be the princess." Leion smiled and then knocked on the twins' door."Mom, I saw that lady again." I looked u

I stared out the window of my room while sitting on my twin's bed with a sigh of relief. We were going to visit Leion in the hospital because he was still outside the hospital and his older brother said he was fine.He looks happy without me, but why is he coming back?"I thought you were going to visit with twins." I was surprised when Leion looked at the door and his eyes were sad."Later, you know you need to bond with your son and wife.""She's not my wife. What the hell are you talking about?" She was still grinning at me, and I passed her and read the room because they might wake up Liana and Grei."Talk to me, Aubrey. Why are you mad? I should be angry at the first place. ""I don't understand, Leion. Why did you say that? Are you supposed to be angry? " She sat on the sofa and put her hand on her forehead and pressed her tightly."I know that Nick is also part of your life and I know he's hard to forget because he fills all my shortcomings when I am gone.""I don't know what y

For some reason, I couldn’t feel comfortable in my seat despite listening to my professor. My mind kept on flying elsewhere and couldn’t focus at all in the class.“Ms. Santimoral, do you agree on what I just said?” When I heard my name, I immediately stood up out of surprise. The teacher was staring at me with his usual stare as I smiled sheepishly and scratched my nape.“I’m sorry, I don’t know,” I said and that response made all of the people in my class laugh.Honestly, it’s embarrassing. My mind is still flying elsewhere since yesterday because of what had happened. I just don’t know if I still have the face to show him because of it. I already have a lot of customers who have done foreplays with me but the way he moved… the way he touched me… that man named Mr. Montezur, he’s different. Even with just one touch, he could melt you away into pieces.“Okay, take your seat,” the professor finally said which allowed me to heave a deep sigh. It was a good thing, this teacher isn’t

“Hey men, you know that we don’t allow people to take women by their will if it’s against their choice right? You know the rules. If you want a bed warmer then go upstairs,” Lord Christ said, meanwhile I lowered my gaze and then grabbed my spectacles. I made sure to wear it well on my face before wiping the buds of sweat dripping down my forehead and neck. For some reason, I feel nervous. I can’t explain the reason but there is this unsettling feeling forming onto the pit of my stomach.“Whatever, you’re a fucking killjoy,” the man replied and immediately walked off as though he did not intrude my space earlier.“See, he’s so sensitive, that fucking retard,” Lord Christ commented before he shook his head. “Our walkout king, King Rome Deveid Montezur!” Once I heard that name, my eyes almost widened in shock although I tried my best not to show it on my face. I can’t be too obvious thinking that that man labelled as Montezur is also at the same height as my boss, Lord Christ.“Come he

I woke up from the loud noise and the light reflecting my eyes. Just like what I told my mother last night, I didn't come home. I went to the apartment I rented and slept there the following end of my shift.Ever since I worked on that place, I made sure to take my own apartment since there will be times where I may end up in a huge dispute with my mom. Besides, all of my things are here, even the strap I use whenever I dance on the club."Nazi, can I please get your share of the rent already? I lost at the gambling station because my wife scolded me again." The voice was followed by a knock on the door. It was Aling Nena's husband.I lazily grabbed my wallet from the inside of my purse and took out the three thousand bill, I got last night. It was a tip I got from my service. This is just a bonus, my salary at the club differs every night."Mang Gabo, here's my sure. I'm sorry," I said and with an embarrassed look on my face, reached out my hand to give him the money."Thanks," he re

"Hey, wait for a second! You're pulling me as though you want us to fly, girl!" I exclaimed to Papi while pulling onto my new lingerie and stockings."Make sure to fix your mask and bring your contact lenses at all times! You should also watch for your toes and avoid planting your face down on the floor!" he continued to remind me, making me laugh. There were no people across the place and only the two of us were walking down the long hallway."Oh wait! Why don't I put some oil on your boobs so that it may make it more thrilling?" he said and immediately put lubricant on my skin.God, this gay is killing me!I rolled my eyes at him."Make it faster, Papi! He might be there already!" I complained while he laughed at me.He was as though love struck for a second before gazing upward. "They say that your customer is a huge time investor! You should do your best , okay?" he reminds. "They say that he's a bachelor so this is... uhmm... pak, pak, pak... Perfect!"I only shook my head at him

I looked at my mother and my sibling lying on the bed made of bamboo shoots, they were fast asleep due to exhaustion. It was probably another rough day for them since it was not easy to fend of our meals every day. A bitter smile crept into my lips. If only I could touch them once. I would like to sleep beside them just like before but I fear that my mom would just push me aside resulting to me falling down on the floor. I put my things gently on the ground. Ever since my father died, it felt as though I was not part of this family. “M-Ma, I’ll be leaving now,” I stammered when I suddenly saw her open her eyes. She was looking at me the same way she does; as though I was a mere nuisance all my life to her. “It’s better if you don’t come back anymore, Nazi,” she retorted and immediately got up from the bed. She quickly passed by my side and left the room. Why does she treat me like this? What did I do wrong to deserve this? She doesn’t even treat my sibling like this so why?I bit

I have power in my hands; I can have anything I want in just a snap of my fingers.People can’t control me; I was born to control people. No one can stop what I want, because if I want it, I get it.And I am ruthless. I’m aware of it and I know that I am selfish, and no one can stop what I want to do in my life.I look around the place and play with the lighter that I am holding. This place is my playground. I used to play with women, and when I am done with them, I won’t hesitate to replace them. I will do what I want; I’ll pay for them in exchange of their agreement with me using them. “Sir, may I take your order?” A petite girl happens to appear in front of me with an aloof smile on her face. She put the menu for alcohol drinks a top of my table while I observed her. A woman who looks plain and boring; she’s definitely not my type. But whatever, she’s still someone I can use as a new toy for tonight. Might she obey and entertain me, there won’t be any problems between us. “Take

She is the finest woman in town. Everyone knows her because she's the only daughter of one of the famous montezur.She's a true player and all she wants is to enjoy her life and make other people's lives miserable.I witness every part of her life even though I haven't completely entered her life.I witnessed her first kiss with Shello and also saw her having a make-out session with Shello.I also saw them having a fight, and I also saw them running away from their families. Last, I witnessed how Shello broke her heart and hurt her over and over again.It's killing me every time I see her crying in an unfamiliar place.I always follow her no matter what, because I don't know why I keep on following the girl that I can't have.I notice every change that happens to her. I also know every angle where she'll look more beautiful. I also know her weaknesses and strengths, even if she doesn't know that I followed her everywhere.She's so damn gorgeous when she smiles and laughs. It was price

I feel like my intestines are overflowing while I'm vomiting, and I've had almost constant diarrhea all day because of the excessive amount of alcohol I drank last night. I also don't know how I got home after that.My phone almost exploded with so many messages to me that most of them were angry because Letto was famous and because of my refusal.If only we could stop him first so that he wouldn't get hurt, the number of people who blame me for why Letto left the country and quit basketball would be reduced.And now I am living in hell."Fuck these people!" I almost threw away my phone and when the knock on the door of my unit came"Start what?" I shouted as I opened the door, and in disgust, Brynne threw her bag and stretched out on my couch."You know, I'm disgusted with those. When I'm bored, I'll bomb them." I laughed at what my brother was saying, then he handed me a stick of Marlboro red."I saw that little salvia youngest. You want me to knock it down?" I smirked at Brynne, th

A lot has changed, after all. I have graduated, and today is the celebration of my graduation. That's why all of them were here.Come on, guys, we should enjoy this. After all of that, you've finished the crazy season in college, "laughed Brynne to me while she was holding the bottle of champagne and she looked very drunk.Don't give up on Papa, I'm sure he'll get mad if he sees you like that." Then he laughed at what I said and I watched the calm movement of the water in the sea. We were on a private yacht celebrating since it's my wish because I really wanted the sea toI really can't believe it's over and I'll be able to finish it all. Then letto, my boyfriend, hugged me and smiled at me. He's a famous basketball player and he's been courting me since I was a second year college student and only one year. He just finished courting us for 2 years.He said, "I really love this way." Then he left for Brother and Brynne, who were with me just now.Seriously? You know how much I hate th

I don't know if I can get up from my bed now or if I'll just roll over since my whole life doesn't really matter anymore.It's just that everyone doesn't last long with me. Something unexpected will come, and then suddenly you give up and then you promise what's what, and I'm the fool who believed and sat down again, even though I know that almost all men are cheaters.There is really nothing good that a man can bring to my life; it's just persecution and consumption."I really want to kill that girl and stab Scott and his big dick!" I shouted before throwing stones at the pillows on my bed, and in disgust, he slapped my face on the bed and kicked me.Damn you and that slut!" I shouted until the door opened and I threw a pillow at the man who hit him in the face."Get up there, you're here with us again," Jab said irritably as he lowered the tray he was holding and I frowned as he watched my face."Oh, you look like you lost the bet," he said, before sitting down properly, as if he wa

I was annoyed waiting outside the admin office while holding my folder full of documents for my university enrollment page and trying to get my schedule to show to my dad that I was able to enroll."Wow, I didn't think it would be too early for you to come here," my cousin said and kissed my cheeks while Hadley just smiled at me, who was always quiet and had nothing new there, while Dulce was such a cute nerd with a classy bitch side, and Aislinn was one of the worst like me."Yeah, papa has been bugging me these last few days just so I can enroll because I took a vacation earlier than you," I explained, before they laughed and stood beside me.It's June. What are we going to do in August? It's good that you didn't get a glimpse even though it was April when you left." They laughed. I was shaken. I had already finished my thesis before I went to Bora and they ran away because I knew they would watch over me by papa and take my older brother on his business trips, which I don't like th

I was wondering where he is right now. It's annoying because after what happened last night, he suddenly disappeared and didn't notice. I woke up in the middle of my bed and my body was aching as fuck."Manang?" I opened the door of my room and I was carrying a tray."What did you do last night?" I shook, then took the glass with cold water and worriedly looked at what was thrown at me and took the food he brought. I'm hungry and I really need to take that medicine. My headache is very painful."Nothing, I just drank too much and got soaked in the afternoon." Then he was shaken and stood beside me."Your mama and papa are coming home now. They want to talk to you, hija." Another trouble is coming. I sipped the soup and averted my eyes. When will I be relieved of the problem?Seriously? It's fine manang, I can manage. "Then I continued to consume the soup, especially as I was getting cold and I felt like I was on fire even though the aircon was strong."Son, Teresa said that someone wa