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Don't Speak
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2024-10-29 19:42:56A selfie with Jim and Liam granted them the nurse’s unconditional assistance, and Silvia didn’t hesitate to abuse it openly. First, she asked for a safe spot to smoke. Next, she put Ron to the task of getting trash food for the musicians, to smuggle it into their room with the nurse’s help. Then she went back to Deborah’s room.
“Jim’s downstairs,” she informed, and turned to Jo. “D’you think you can walk a few steps?”
“What are you up to now?” asked Deborah, narrowing her eyes.
“Taking Jo to see Sean, if she can get up.”
Jo was sitting up before Silvia was done talking. She helped the girl out of bed and grabbed the IV bag. They paused at the doorway and looked to the nurses’ station, where the young nurse had taken over the screen showing the hallway cameras. As soon as she waved her hand discretely, they came out.
Sean opened his eyes the moment they walked
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No Return Nothing Left
It was a quick, quiet meal as the five of them wolfed down their food like it was the first they’d had in a year. Silvia cleaned any incriminatory evidence and commanded the musicians to sleep, threatening them with midnight injections if they stayed awake.She and Jim left the other three and he took her hand when they walked out, waiting for her to try to let go, say something, do anything. Silvia rested her head on his shoulder as they strolled down the hall to Sean’s room without a word.Jim stopped at the doorway, surprised to find Jo there. The girl saw them come in and kissed Sean’s cheek.“Night, love,” she whispered, and let Silvia help her climb down from the bed.They walked slowly out as Jim circled the bed to sit in the armchair. When Silvia came back, he was sound asleep. She tucked him in with the blanket, brushed his hair with her lips, tiptoed out.A minute later, she was sitting on the cold floor tile
No Return Fresh Snow on Soiled Ground
Winter swooped down on Patagonia early that year, with chilly winds that blew away any cloud, letting the temperature rocket down to stay like that for months. Frost soon nested around the clock in any corner the pale sun didn’t reach, mountains wore their thick white cloak, daylight hours shrunk in what felt like a heartbeat.And just like every winter, Silvia’s social life adjusted to the harsh weather. It was the time of the year for closest friends and easy get-togethers at home instead of a bar.It was the season to weave tighter together that safety net of affection that had allowed her to spend the last two or three years playing the acrobat, ever since she’d met Pat. The only reason why she hadn’t ended up smashed on the floor when trapezes kept turning into smoke and vanished before her eyes, an inch away from her reaching hands, usually at the end of a triple somersault.It was the time for long strategic board games, TV shows b
No Return Bones
Jo was surprised when Sean came back home so early. He’d gone to Jim’s place, to practice for a while with his drums for the first time since the accident. His rehab physician had cleared him a couple of weeks earlier to try the soft drumheads he had at home, and Sean felt ready to go back to the real thing.Jo was having a pre-production meeting with Fay and her team, so he waved hi at them from the living-room door and went on to his small soundproofed studio. She didn’t take long to come around with beer and a smile. He was behind his set of drumheads, practicing.“And this is why I love you,” Sean said, accepting the beer.Jo studied him for a moment. “What happened? Jim wasn’t home and you didn’t have your spare keys?”Sean rolled his eyes, the bottle against his lips. Jo pulled up a stool to sit close to him and tilted her head, raising her eyebrows.“So? Why didn’t you stay lo
No Return Double Tap
It was mid-October and spring still couldn’t kick winter out of Patagonia for good. Silvia and Miyen were revising his last story when her phone buzzed. Both of them glanced at the kitchen clock, surprised. It was two on a Wednesday night, who could be texting her that late?“Let’s hope nothing bad happened,” she said, unlocking the screen. “I’m glad Tobias is here and sleeping.”“Always so cheerful,” Miyen replied, scoffing, but he saw her face and frowned. “What is it?”Silvia narrowed her eyes, like trying to make up her mind. “Look, it’s Jim. He just posted something for me, and whatever it is, I’m gonna check it right now. I’m telling you in case you wanna go to the bathroom or something.”Miyen snorted and stood up. “Yeah, good idea. Let me know when you’re done. I’ll be reading in your room.”She waited to be alone to get h
No Return Explain the Thoughts
Miyen found her with her arms folded on the table and her face hidden against them, crying like her heart was about to shatter in a thousand pieces. He sat down by her side and put his arm around her shoulders without a word, but she wouldn’t calm down.He saw the tablet with the video still on screen and decided to see what he was dealing with. He put on the earphones and kept his arm around her shoulders to watch the clip. He took under a minute to start cursing under his breath, listening to the lyrics."I can’t explain the way I feel insideWhen you’re not aroundI can’t explain the thoughts that fill my headWhen you’re not around."And all the while, I let you go."Take my heart, my nameEverything I’ve got I give to youOur hearts are the same
No Return Another Song
The fifth day Jim’s housekeeper called Sean to tell him Jim hadn’t let her in, the eldest Robinson decided it was time to step in. So he called his little brother. Jim picked up right away, only to tell him to fuck off and let him be. Okay, he was alive and well, sort of. At least he was still in shape to use his phone.Sean gave him another day, mostly to muster all his patience and keep from killing Jim if his suspicions turned out to be right.After convincing the band to arrange and record that new song—yet another one for Silvia—Jim had pretty much run to upload it to that frigging blog he insisted in keeping online, swearing she still checked it every time he posted something, ‘cause analytics didn’t lie.And then he’d sat to wait for an answer. Even though it’d been over five months since Silvia had last spoken to him, he was so frigging sure this time she would react and reply. The damn fool! The song would
No Return Night Flight
Jim turned off his light and reclined his seat further, stretching his legs. The flight attendants had offered to make his bed, but he’d declined. He wasn’t there for some funny pajamas and a good night sleep. His eyes darted out the window. A whole continent spread down there, thousands of feet below, invisible in the moonless night. And they had to go all the way to the other end of it.He dozed for a while, a shallow sleep that brought him no rest, and woke up to find an attendant had covered him with a light blanket. Just like Silvia had done every time she’d found him asleep.A sigh escaped his lips. What the frigging hell was he doing on that direct flight LA-Buenos Aires? He’d just let Sean drag him along, mostly because if he refused, their argument would’ve ended up in a fist fight.But that didn’t change that their trip was totally useless.He knew Silvia too damn well to harbor any hope. He could spend the re
No Return A Bleeding Nose
They arrived in Bariloche to a rainy, windy late-spring afternoon. As any Californian traveling to Patagonia, they hurried to wear their winter jackets, caps, scarves and gloves. To find all the locals in the airport were in short sleeves.The wind pushed them a couple of steps to the side when they walked out to take a taxi.“You couldn’t fall for somebody living in fucking Riviere, could you, bastard?” Sean snarled, holding the door for Jo to get into the car.The taxi took them down a road flanked by pine trees in the early nightfall, up to the freeway that led straight to the city. It ran parallel to the lake that opened on their right, huge, dark, choppy with foamy waves. The city lights spread ahead along the coast for many miles.They checked in at their hotel about seven. Jo stopped Jim before he got into his room.“Don’t take a nap. We only have time for a shower and a quick bite,” she said.Just
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No Return True Freedom
Silvia woke up to Depeche Mode’s Personal Jesus.The sun was setting and she was alone in bed, tucked in soft sheets that smelled of lemon and the fat white comforter. Jim had left a few hours ago to let her rest, because after those weeks apart, it was plain to see she wouldn’t get any rest with him around.She’d fallen sound asleep, exhausted, and now she had the persistent feeling of being still lost in a dream. But she wasn’t. This was not the Black Rock. It was the Ashtray, her new home, and that music had to be a phone ringing.But not hers. She’d never used that song as a ringtone.She followed the music to the other nightstand, where she found a new phone still inside its open box with a red ribbon. And she laughed out loud when she grabbed it and saw the caller was My Personal J.“Hey, you awake?” Jim asked when she picked up, still chuckling.“Hey, you just woke me u
No Return Yours
They staggered into the bedroom and fell on the bed as they kissed, their hands struggling to get rid of their clothes.Silvia pulled Jim to bring him on top of her, yearning to feel his weight. There was no other body to hers, no other hands to touch her, no other lips to drive her crazy, no other skin to stroke hers. She wrapped a leg around his waist, pushing him down, and moaned when she felt him inside of her, his fire sweeping it all away, and she gave in to his need and his exasperated anxiety.Because that was exactly how he was feeling. He’d never missed her body, he’d never needed her like this. Yet there he was, fighting himself back to keep from going off like a frigging teen, growing crazier with every moan he pushed out of her mouth, every move of her hips, every touch of her fingers, every brush of her lips. Like he would never have enough of her.Why was he feeling this way? Why nothing seemed enough? When had all bodies lost their ap
No Return The Ashtray
Silvia exited the Customs Office feeling stunned and a little dizzy. After such an emotional last week in Bariloche, she’d had to go through the long flight that had taken her to another time zone, another season, another country, another culture, another language. She looked around, feeling she was running on fumes and she was about to pass out any moment now.Jim threw the sign she hadn’t seen into a bin to come stand before her, hands in his pockets and a smile under his black cap.“Looking for somebody?”Silvia just dropped everything to fall into his arms. He held her tight, kissing her hair, and felt her shiver nonstop. She needed a whole minute to fight back her tears and get a little grip on herself. When he assessed she would be able to walk, he took her hand, grabbed the luggage cart with his other hand, and took both to the parking lot without a word.Silvia just let him lead the way. She was there, with him, finally. Sh
No Return Storm Alert
Silvia left before her friends and siblings even registered what she was doing. One minute they were all toasting to her for the hundredth time in the bar, and the next minute she was hugging every one of them, telling them how much she loved them. And then she was gone, all alone.She walked down the street, gazing up at the sky, admiring the colors in those minutes before the early sunrise. Her feet didn’t need to consult with her brain to head straight to the downtown beach, walk down the stone steps and take her right up to the lake shore.She sat down on the cold pebbles and lit a cigarette, face to the east. It was her last sunrise of the only life she’d ever known. The last sunrise with her lake and her mountains. Like so many times before, she wished she could capture every little detail as far as her eyes could see, carve it all in her memory and keep it inside of her, true and unchanged, forever unfading.She watched the sun come up behind
No Return December
Tobias and Leandro had done their best to clean up the Black Rock before Silvia came back home. And the outcome made her smile, because the house was squeaky-clean and smelling of flowers. They were surprised to see Mika there too, but Silvia’s look kept them from asking any questions.Knowing the siblings needed time alone for their reunion, Leandro left for Beltane, to have dinner with Claudia. At the Black Rock, Mika went to the supermarket, to restock the fridge with something that wasn’t trash food and make dinner for the three of them.The moment she walked out, Tobias asked Silvia what had happened to their sister to make her lower that proud head of hers, admit her fail and come back home. It was just natural he would take mortal offense when he learned why Mika was actually back. But Silvia would have none of it.“I’m telling you the same I told your sister,” she said. “You don’t want me to keep treating you guy
No Return Lil' Sister
It’d been six months since Silvia had last seen Mika, and one look was enough to tell her all her little sister had been keeping from her.Rob and Juan had planned a Saturday night out after dinner, but Silvia resorted to the such-a-long-flight excuse to stay behind.“Would you lend me a hand with the dishes?” she asked Mika.The others understood and took off, leaving the sisters alone.“I thought Lorena was coming too,” Silvia said as they picked up everything from the table.Mika hesitated, found her sister’s eyes and shrugged. “We broke up.”“Oh. You never mentioned it.”“It happened three days ago. I didn’t wanna write to you about it. It was your last days with Jim, and I knew we were meeting today.”They took everything to the kitchen and Silvia asked Mika to make mate while she did the dishes. The girl knew better than trying to beat
No Return The Thing
Silvia almost missed her flight, too absorbed staring at the tiny thing on the table before her.What on God’s green earth was that thing doing there, and in her keep?That white-gold band with a little, discreet diamond.An engagement ring.That frigging coward! Throwing it at her from ten feet away!But no matter the delivery method, Jim had given it to her.His mother’s, he’d said.Bring it back, he’d said.She felt lucky her brain was able to register the last boarding call. She looked up, startled, and jumped to her feet. She was about to hurry away when she remembered the ring. Actually, it was more like feeling a leash tugging at her neck, stopping her from walking away from the table.She spun around on her heels and scowled down at the damned thing.“You…” she growled.The moment she had it in her hand again, she realized how small and light it wa
No Return Catch
It was sort of weird. Being with Jim usually involved having people around, but now they were all alone, making their way through the usual crowd in LAX. Come to think about it, both of them loved having an active social life. Maybe that was why she hadn’t needed any major adjusting over the last ten days in LA.…?Silvia would’ve punched herself best Fight Club style. She had only minutes left with him and she was pondering about their social habits? Really?She checked in for her flight and they headed to the boarding area in no hurry.“So you think you can be back by January ten.”“Yup. I gotta report to work with Jo on the fifteenth, but I want a couple of free days before that.”They walked a whole minute in silence.Silvia wondered why all of a sudden they didn’t seem to have anything left to say. Why were they avoiding eye contact? Why did she feel like getting into the boarding
No Return Jam
“Hurry up or I’m calling a cab!”“Bet you’re dying to do it, you chicken.”“Please, Jay!”Silvia finished raiding the master bedroom one last time, to make sure she wasn’t forgetting anything.“Jay!”“Coming.”She snorted and went to canvass the ground floor. She was just done when Jim came down the stairs in no hurry.“Can we go before I have a heart attack, milord?”“Cool down, woman, we have plenty of time,” he said, grabbing her duffel bag on his way to the front door, where she waited with her rucksack. He paused at the doorway to poke her nose. “Really, such a rush to leave me.”Silvia wasn’t about to explain she was always that upset whenever she had a bus or a plane to catch, so she just scowled at him and followed him out.“Got everything? Tickets, passport?”Silvia ch
