The fifth day Jim’s housekeeper called Sean to tell him Jim hadn’t let her in, the eldest Robinson decided it was time to step in. So he called his little brother. Jim picked up right away, only to tell him to fuck off and let him be. Okay, he was alive and well, sort of. At least he was still in shape to use his phone.
Sean gave him another day, mostly to muster all his patience and keep from killing Jim if his suspicions turned out to be right.
After convincing the band to arrange and record that new song—yet another one for Silvia—Jim had pretty much run to upload it to that frigging blog he insisted in keeping online, swearing she still checked it every time he posted something, ‘cause analytics didn’t lie.
And then he’d sat to wait for an answer. Even though it’d been over five months since Silvia had last spoken to him, he was so frigging sure this time she would react and reply. The damn fool! The song would
Jim turned off his light and reclined his seat further, stretching his legs. The flight attendants had offered to make his bed, but he’d declined. He wasn’t there for some funny pajamas and a good night sleep. His eyes darted out the window. A whole continent spread down there, thousands of feet below, invisible in the moonless night. And they had to go all the way to the other end of it.He dozed for a while, a shallow sleep that brought him no rest, and woke up to find an attendant had covered him with a light blanket. Just like Silvia had done every time she’d found him asleep.A sigh escaped his lips. What the frigging hell was he doing on that direct flight LA-Buenos Aires? He’d just let Sean drag him along, mostly because if he refused, their argument would’ve ended up in a fist fight.But that didn’t change that their trip was totally useless.He knew Silvia too damn well to harbor any hope. He could spend the re
They arrived in Bariloche to a rainy, windy late-spring afternoon. As any Californian traveling to Patagonia, they hurried to wear their winter jackets, caps, scarves and gloves. To find all the locals in the airport were in short sleeves.The wind pushed them a couple of steps to the side when they walked out to take a taxi.“You couldn’t fall for somebody living in fucking Riviere, could you, bastard?” Sean snarled, holding the door for Jo to get into the car.The taxi took them down a road flanked by pine trees in the early nightfall, up to the freeway that led straight to the city. It ran parallel to the lake that opened on their right, huge, dark, choppy with foamy waves. The city lights spread ahead along the coast for many miles.They checked in at their hotel about seven. Jo stopped Jim before he got into his room.“Don’t take a nap. We only have time for a shower and a quick bite,” she said.Just
Silvia and Claudia got off of the bus outside Jim’s hotel and leaned forward to fight the push of the wind as they walked up the narrow cobblestone street. According to the city’s most conservative traditions, the bus they had to catch hadn’t come, forcing them to wait another twenty minutes in that cruel Patagonian combo of cold-wind-rain until the next bus came, obviously crowded and in no hurry, so they were almost an hour late.Claudia stopped short halfway to the bar, the cake in precarious balance on her gloved hands.“The candle!” she cried. “We forgot the candle again! Why do we always forget it?”Silvia pointed her thumb over her shoulder. “I’ll get it. You go ahead, before the rain spoils the cake.”Claudia hurried on toward the bar while Silvia walked back the way they’d come, to the minimarket across the street from the hotel.A few minutes later, she was p
“There she is!”“Finally!”“Man, you’re soaking wet!”“Here, have a drink to warm up.”Silvia spotted him right away. All the way across the bar with Miyen, hands in his pockets, his black cap down to his eyes, keeping his face in the shadows. She paused to say hi to those closer to her, giving her heart a chance to stop hammering her chest. As if. He was watching her, completely still, like a ghost of himself.Sean and Jo were sitting at a table with her cousin Leandro, Karim and some more. Jo jumped to her feet and threw her arms around Silvia’s neck with one of her bright grins. They hugged tightly. When Jo stepped back, Silvia nodded hi at Sean. He nodded back without the slightest trace of a smile, for a change.“Silvia! Listen!”It was AC/DC’s Back in Black. Some of her friends pushed her to the middle of the bar and she headbanged with them f
“Shall we?”Jim looked up and found Silvia wearing her jacket. Half a dozen of her friends were also gearing up to go out. He didn’t even think of asking anything. He just grabbed his stuff and went back to Jo and his brother, who faced him with a questioning nod.“Guess it’s good night, bro. I’ll keep you up.”“Don’t worry, we’re having dinner all together tomorrow,” said Jo with her bright smile.Sean bit his tongue. His brother had just met his woman again and his girlfriend was having a great time. What he thought didn’t matter at all. So he just nodded with a quick shrug and watched his brother leave all alone with that bunch of strangers.Jim didn’t have the slightest idea where he was going, but he’d rather chop his tongue off than say a word about it. If that still mattered, he would’ve better stayed home in LA.All of them where bundled up in t
The bus left them to a light snowfall that promised to get thicker, and Silvia tugged at Jim’s sleeve to make him cross the empty road with her and Claudia. He was about to ask why the hell all the streets on that place seemed to go uphill, but he got distracted, watching the snow swirl down in the subsiding wind. He just took Silvia’s hand and let her guide him, not paying attention to what she and her friend whispered in Spanish.“Are you making him pay, bringing him on the bus and making him walk all the way to the Black Rock?” Claudia asked, amused.“What? No! Look, the wind’s stopped and it’s so beautiful to walk. The park must already be all white.”“Are you hearing yourself? Is that what you’re really thinking about right now?”Silvia grinned and Claudia shook her head, chuckling.They walked her up to Beltane, waved goodnight at her as her dog barked as to wake the whole neig
“Hurry up, you’re late!”“I can’t find one of my sneakers!”“What’re you doing? Jim’s sleeping!”“But I think it’s in your room!”“And what the hell are your sneakers doing in my room? Never mind, just don’t wake him up!”The curtains of the window by the bed were wide open to a dull gray sky and trees sprayed with snow. It didn’t look like the day had just broken, so it couldn’t be that early. However, Jim felt like he’d only slept a couple of hours. He rubbed his face, hearing the muffled voices from the dining room. Silvia’s side of the bed was already cold. She’d been gone for a while.A twenty-year-old boy, taller than him, stuck his head into Silvia’s bedroom. He saw Jim was awake and flashed an apologetic smile.“Hi, Jim, sorry,” the boy said in English. He looked down and grinned, crou
It was hard to remember to keep breathing as she watched him. Jim wasn’t sleeping, just resting, eyes closed, one hand on his chest. And she was doing her best to keep the balance on that tightrope between fascination and dread of this so-real naked man lying by her side, relaxed and helpless out of his own will.Now she knew Jim was right. It was no whim, no challenge, and worst of all, it was no mirage. He’d stated it so crystal clear she was still shaken, and facing it had emptied her inside.There was nothing left. Everything had been ruthlessly wiped away by this understanding that laughed in the face of any other idea, sensation, emotion, hope. Now she could only acknowledge that he loved her, and he’d just left her out of excuses. Goodbye denial. He’d just given her so much that he’d left her with nothing.She had to be at her job in a couple of hours, and she didn’t feel like moving at all. Their phones were still off.
Silvia woke up to Depeche Mode’s Personal Jesus.The sun was setting and she was alone in bed, tucked in soft sheets that smelled of lemon and the fat white comforter. Jim had left a few hours ago to let her rest, because after those weeks apart, it was plain to see she wouldn’t get any rest with him around.She’d fallen sound asleep, exhausted, and now she had the persistent feeling of being still lost in a dream. But she wasn’t. This was not the Black Rock. It was the Ashtray, her new home, and that music had to be a phone ringing.But not hers. She’d never used that song as a ringtone.She followed the music to the other nightstand, where she found a new phone still inside its open box with a red ribbon. And she laughed out loud when she grabbed it and saw the caller was My Personal J.“Hey, you awake?” Jim asked when she picked up, still chuckling.“Hey, you just woke me u
They staggered into the bedroom and fell on the bed as they kissed, their hands struggling to get rid of their clothes.Silvia pulled Jim to bring him on top of her, yearning to feel his weight. There was no other body to hers, no other hands to touch her, no other lips to drive her crazy, no other skin to stroke hers. She wrapped a leg around his waist, pushing him down, and moaned when she felt him inside of her, his fire sweeping it all away, and she gave in to his need and his exasperated anxiety.Because that was exactly how he was feeling. He’d never missed her body, he’d never needed her like this. Yet there he was, fighting himself back to keep from going off like a frigging teen, growing crazier with every moan he pushed out of her mouth, every move of her hips, every touch of her fingers, every brush of her lips. Like he would never have enough of her.Why was he feeling this way? Why nothing seemed enough? When had all bodies lost their ap
Silvia exited the Customs Office feeling stunned and a little dizzy. After such an emotional last week in Bariloche, she’d had to go through the long flight that had taken her to another time zone, another season, another country, another culture, another language. She looked around, feeling she was running on fumes and she was about to pass out any moment now.Jim threw the sign she hadn’t seen into a bin to come stand before her, hands in his pockets and a smile under his black cap.“Looking for somebody?”Silvia just dropped everything to fall into his arms. He held her tight, kissing her hair, and felt her shiver nonstop. She needed a whole minute to fight back her tears and get a little grip on herself. When he assessed she would be able to walk, he took her hand, grabbed the luggage cart with his other hand, and took both to the parking lot without a word.Silvia just let him lead the way. She was there, with him, finally. Sh
Silvia left before her friends and siblings even registered what she was doing. One minute they were all toasting to her for the hundredth time in the bar, and the next minute she was hugging every one of them, telling them how much she loved them. And then she was gone, all alone.She walked down the street, gazing up at the sky, admiring the colors in those minutes before the early sunrise. Her feet didn’t need to consult with her brain to head straight to the downtown beach, walk down the stone steps and take her right up to the lake shore.She sat down on the cold pebbles and lit a cigarette, face to the east. It was her last sunrise of the only life she’d ever known. The last sunrise with her lake and her mountains. Like so many times before, she wished she could capture every little detail as far as her eyes could see, carve it all in her memory and keep it inside of her, true and unchanged, forever unfading.She watched the sun come up behind
Tobias and Leandro had done their best to clean up the Black Rock before Silvia came back home. And the outcome made her smile, because the house was squeaky-clean and smelling of flowers. They were surprised to see Mika there too, but Silvia’s look kept them from asking any questions.Knowing the siblings needed time alone for their reunion, Leandro left for Beltane, to have dinner with Claudia. At the Black Rock, Mika went to the supermarket, to restock the fridge with something that wasn’t trash food and make dinner for the three of them.The moment she walked out, Tobias asked Silvia what had happened to their sister to make her lower that proud head of hers, admit her fail and come back home. It was just natural he would take mortal offense when he learned why Mika was actually back. But Silvia would have none of it.“I’m telling you the same I told your sister,” she said. “You don’t want me to keep treating you guy
It’d been six months since Silvia had last seen Mika, and one look was enough to tell her all her little sister had been keeping from her.Rob and Juan had planned a Saturday night out after dinner, but Silvia resorted to the such-a-long-flight excuse to stay behind.“Would you lend me a hand with the dishes?” she asked Mika.The others understood and took off, leaving the sisters alone.“I thought Lorena was coming too,” Silvia said as they picked up everything from the table.Mika hesitated, found her sister’s eyes and shrugged. “We broke up.”“Oh. You never mentioned it.”“It happened three days ago. I didn’t wanna write to you about it. It was your last days with Jim, and I knew we were meeting today.”They took everything to the kitchen and Silvia asked Mika to make mate while she did the dishes. The girl knew better than trying to beat
Silvia almost missed her flight, too absorbed staring at the tiny thing on the table before her.What on God’s green earth was that thing doing there, and in her keep?That white-gold band with a little, discreet diamond.An engagement ring.That frigging coward! Throwing it at her from ten feet away!But no matter the delivery method, Jim had given it to her.His mother’s, he’d said.Bring it back, he’d said.She felt lucky her brain was able to register the last boarding call. She looked up, startled, and jumped to her feet. She was about to hurry away when she remembered the ring. Actually, it was more like feeling a leash tugging at her neck, stopping her from walking away from the table.She spun around on her heels and scowled down at the damned thing.“You…” she growled.The moment she had it in her hand again, she realized how small and light it wa
It was sort of weird. Being with Jim usually involved having people around, but now they were all alone, making their way through the usual crowd in LAX. Come to think about it, both of them loved having an active social life. Maybe that was why she hadn’t needed any major adjusting over the last ten days in LA.…?Silvia would’ve punched herself best Fight Club style. She had only minutes left with him and she was pondering about their social habits? Really?She checked in for her flight and they headed to the boarding area in no hurry.“So you think you can be back by January ten.”“Yup. I gotta report to work with Jo on the fifteenth, but I want a couple of free days before that.”They walked a whole minute in silence.Silvia wondered why all of a sudden they didn’t seem to have anything left to say. Why were they avoiding eye contact? Why did she feel like getting into the boarding
“Hurry up or I’m calling a cab!”“Bet you’re dying to do it, you chicken.”“Please, Jay!”Silvia finished raiding the master bedroom one last time, to make sure she wasn’t forgetting anything.“Jay!”“Coming.”She snorted and went to canvass the ground floor. She was just done when Jim came down the stairs in no hurry.“Can we go before I have a heart attack, milord?”“Cool down, woman, we have plenty of time,” he said, grabbing her duffel bag on his way to the front door, where she waited with her rucksack. He paused at the doorway to poke her nose. “Really, such a rush to leave me.”Silvia wasn’t about to explain she was always that upset whenever she had a bus or a plane to catch, so she just scowled at him and followed him out.“Got everything? Tickets, passport?”Silvia ch