I don’t want to go! (Natalie)

By the time we got home I was a complete mess, tears were streaming down my face, my eyes were puffy and my nose was snotty. I didn’t want to get out of the car as it meant that I was one step closer to accepting we were about to risk our lives to fight these monsters. Ash eventually made his way around the side of the car and pulled me out.

Lifting me up bridal style I could help the rush of butterflies in my stomach even though I was a complete mess. Step by step he gets us inside and lays me down on the sofa. While I lay on the sofa crying Ash starts to pack the car.

That night I can’t sleep, every noise I hear makes me jump out of my skin. Every now and then there’s a crunching sound like shoes stepping on crunchy autumn leaves or a snapping of a twig. Sometimes there’s even a loud bang of a closing car door or someone maybe taking the garbage bins out for the garbage truck that will come in the morning.

Finally I can’t take it anymore and I give in to the temptation. I creep down the dark hallway, all the way until I’m at Ash’s bedroom door. I haven’t been in his room since I first arrived at the house, so I’m unsure of what it will look like. Finally I bring myself to knock on the door quietly at first, but they eventually grow louder until Ash answers with a groggy

“Huh, what? Come in” I slowly turn the handle and push the door open. I step into the room and I can hear every foot step that follows, every breathe I take, and I start to panic, my heart beat starts racing and I lose focus like I did when my family died.

“Are you okay?” Ash asks suddenly, I don’t answer, something’s wrong.

“Natalie, Natalie.” His voice is getting further and further away, what’s happening to me. Ash is on full alert now; he quickly throws the sheet off and jumps out of bed. He strides over to me with big long strides and looks me directly in the eye

“Are you having trouble sleeping? Do you want to join me?” I’m not listening to him; I’m trying to figure out what is happening. Finally I realise I’m having a panic attack; slowly as if I’m clearing my head I nod, then I nod again. I make my way towards the bed. When I finally settle into the bed Ash lies down besides me and drifts off to sleep. When I decide he is asleep I snuggle up to him seeking comfort, hoping that in the morning I will feel better and won’t freak Ash out as much as I have just now.

The next morning is worse than last night; I open my eyes to find Ash’s brown ones staring at me intently. As I take in the surroundings I realise that his bedroom is really nice and for someone who has been living here for only a month, he sure has a lot of furniture.

When my eyes have finally finished taking in the rest of the room they come back and look at Ash. When I notice the position were in my body starts to tingle, my pulse starts going 100km/h and I have to close my eyes and pretend nothing is happening. My arms are around his neck, my whole body is pressed up against his, and his arm is resting on my hip and the other on the pillow in between our heads, which is only seven centimetres apart. The bed is meant to be a double bed but it doesn’t feel like it is anymore. We don’t say anything, we just lay this way for what feels like hours but eventually we move because today is our big day. Were going camping in the mountains and were going to kill some monsters.

Because Ash had already packed the car the night before all we have to do is get dressed for the day and put our pyjamas in our bags, check the house and lock the front door on the way out to the car. The car trip is meant to take twelve hours, which is where our camping spot will be and the good news is that no one will be there because no one goes camping in the mountains unless they are stupid or have a good reason like we do. So as Ash starts the car, I put the music on and get comfortable.