Never to look back

Emile sat by the windowsill hugging her knees and looking at the endless night with a desolate expression trying to filter out the annoying sounds coming from the master bedroom. She let out a soft sigh thought about her miserable existence. Eight years of infatuated love and 3 years of marriage with absolute devotion left her with nothing but endless shame and an empty house. In the three years of marriage, there was not a day that the newspapers and entertainment world did not have a news of the colorful scandals for her husband.

Emile rested her chin on her knees as she thought back to the folly of her youth.

She met Daniel during her first year of university at a gathering of family friends. If at first, she was mesmerized by his handsome face and his domineering aura, later she fell in love with his brilliance and character.

Emile was an outstanding bubbly and beautiful girl. She was the goddess in the hearts of almost all the young men at her university, but she had eyes only for Daniel. However, she soon realized that her affections were one-sided and that he already had a sweetheart, Michelle. Even so, she was happy to watch from afar, silently blessing his happiness.

Whether it was a blessing or curse, Emile didn’t know then, but fate gave her a present in the form of her grandfather’s dying wish. She was to marry the grandson of his best friend. Her grandfather was the only family she had left in this world and had doted on her endlessly. There was no way she could deny him his dying wish.

Emile went to the cafe where her grandfather had arranged to meet her prospective husband. She still remembered the joy she felt as she saw Daniel sitting in the café waiting for her, although it was short lived. The fantasy broke the moment he opened his mouth.

“Ms Burke, I already have someone I love.” Daniel sighed “This marriage is my grandfather’s edict. I can’t do anything, but I hope you will withdraw.”

Emile sighed as she remembered her next words 3 years ago.

“You might not believe me, but I am also in a tricky situation. My grandfather is dying, and I want to honor his last wish.”

Emile wasn’t joking when she said that he wouldn’t believe her… no one would…. Everyone knew about her fascination of him.

“Heh!” He snorted with disdain.

“I can however promise you that we can live separately till my grandfather passes away peacefully and then divorce.” Emile took a deep breath before continuing “I will also speak with Michelle so that you won’t have any difficulties.”

“No need.” Daniel smirked as he stood up “This marriage will not happen. I will not marry anyone other than Michelle.”

Emile shrugged helplessly as she walked out of the café. She wandered around the park close to her home thinking about how to break this news to her grandfather when her phone rang. It was Daniel asking to meet again with Michelle.

The meeting was nothing special. It was basically Michelle showing off how much weight she carried in Daniel’s heart and enacting her deep sacrifice for him.

Michelle even had the audacity to demand that they have a room for her at their wedding home so that she and Daniel could stay together and Emile could stay in the guest room when no one was around.

Emile sat through expressionlessly since she wanted to fulfill her grandfather’s dying wish.

The wedding between the Burkes and Holstons was a extravagant affair although there was no joy in the hearts of the bride and groom. Before the wedding, Emile tried to pacify herself that she could at least fulfill the dream of marrying her prince charming even if it was fake. But standing in the church she realized that there was no joy only humiliation especially when the groom even refused to kiss the bride. The emcee joked that the bride and groom were shy to tide over the awkwardness.

Six months after the wedding Emile’s grandfather passed away happily never knowing the heartache his precious granddaughter faced. Emile wanted to be true to her word and to escape from the constant heartache she faced as her husband frolicked around with his lover. She got the divorce papers ready soon after the mourning period only to have Daniel burst her bubble. One of his grandfather’s conditions were that he couldn’t get divorced before 3 years.

During this time, she had learned that the reason Daniel agreed to the marriage was because of Michelle’s coaxing. His grandfather had issued the ultimatum that he would forfeit his right to inherit the Holston empire if he didn’t marry Emile. Daniel was ready to forfeit the world, but Michelle didn’t want to give up the life of riches. Although the reasons she came up with in front of Daniel were all wrapped in her love and willingness to sacrifice for his happiness; willing to be a nameless lover till his grandfather accepted her.

Emile decided to continue with the farce as she pacified herself that this was her sacrifice for her love’s happily ever after. She busied herself with her work; she loved designing and this consumed all her time, returning home only to sleep at night. Just when Emile had reconciled with her fate, Michelle suddenly left; that was 2 years ago. Daniel went crazy searching for her without any results. However, things went spirally downhill for Emile 6 months ago.

Although Emile didn’t know the reason, it was like Daniel flipped into a violent beast trapping her at home, forcefully making her resign from her job which was the only joy in her life. Even then, Emile never complained. She thought perhaps this would ease their relationship. Not only did he restrict her movements, he also verbally and sexually assaulted her without mercy. Her refusals were met with a rebuke that this was her duty as part of their marriage.

Ever since she married him, even while Michelle lived with them, she fulfilled her duties as wife. Cleaned, cooked and even waited for him to get back home before resting, even though she was working full-time. The only solace while Michelle was living with them was that she could preserve her dignity by not having to fulfill her duties as a wife in bed…. but that didn’t last long.

Emile had no idea how she survived; She had cut-off all her contacts and existed merely as the shell of the vibrant, brilliant lady she once was. She was a joke to the outside world. Her husband spent his days among the flowers, filling every gossip page in the country without giving her any face. What was even more unbearable were the bedmates he brought home and expected her to serve, like a maid. Even so, she never complained… hoping that one day, he might see her devotion and love her.

Michelle’s arrival 2 months later at her doorstep broke this last straw she was holding onto... Only then did she realize the reason for her torture …. Her best friend Abbey who was an entertainment reporter filled her in; Michelle had told Daniel that the reason she left was because Emile threatened to kill her.

Emile refused to accept this and confronted the two but other than Michelle pretending to be frightened and Daniel losing his temper and assaulting her…she didn’t have any gains.

Emile raised her head as she woke up from memory lane. Tomorrow was their third wedding anniversary. She stood up as her eyes filled with determination. She walked up to her laptop and sent two emails before logging off and going to sleep.