LOGINShare
Sinking Alone
Last Updated:
2020-11-12 13:22:18CHAPTER FOUR(SINKING ALONE)
Lillian sat on the couch in Jemima's house, she carried the baby. She was curious,she wanted to know how Jemima found out that she couldn't have a baby.
" I didn't tell anyone that I was going to see a doctor, how did you know that I can't have a baby? Lillian played with the baby while talking.
"My sister in law told me that she saw you at the hospital,she was concerned, so she asked me if you are sick. I would have visited you if you didn't come today. But you came and you look healthy. When you looked at my baby and you cried, I knew you were worried so I made a dangerous guess and I was right". Jemima sat close to Lillian and held one of her hands.
" The doctor said I can't have a baby,that if I get pregnant, the baby will die,he said my womb is too fragile " Lillian said as she walked to drop the sleeping baby in the baby cot. She walked back to the couch and sat down,still close to Jemima.
"That is what the doctor said, not God" Jemima spoke seriously though she smiled while pronouncing God but Lillian laughed. Jemima would never change, she has been like this since their childhood days. She always depended on God even on her tough days.
" If God wanted me to have a child, why did He give me this fragile womb?"Lillian tried hard to control her emotions but she couldn't hold the warm liquid flowing from her eyes. Even Jemima cried too.
Mark came home earlier than he normally comes back from work. He was alone for awhile before Lillian came back from Jemima's place.
"Work was hectic? You came really late today,how was work?Mark asked Lillian.
"I took a leave from work" After Lillian visited the doctor, she took a leave from work and she made the decision herself without telling her husband.
"Since when? Nowadays I don't really understand you,you are always moody and lost in thoughts,now you took a leave without telling me,sweets,you really need to talk to me,I think I'm invisible to you. After Mark's statement, the house became quiet,just like a home where there's nobody.
Lillian would have cried but she controlled herself, she wanted him to know that he wasn't invisible, that her guilt is the problem,she couldn't stare at him,she looked at the corners of the house to prevent her eyes from meeting his.
" sweets, let's have a dinner for two on our anniversary day. I've been busy these days,its my wrong. She wanted to tell him that "that" wasn't the only reason she was apologizing for. Though Mark wanted to ask his wife what she's been busy with, the only word that came out of his lips was "OK".
Lillian's phone rang,Mark's mom was the one calling. The call was unavoidable so she answered and mark's mom wanted to have dinner the next day,just both of them alone
Related chapters
NO HARM Mending challenges
Mending challenges LILLIAN I remember my childhood days,an average family, fighting strong could be used to define my family then. There were times when it was just too hard and my mom would cry all night,she would pray to God from mid night to morning. She was a single mom trying to save her kids from this harsh world. I was very angry while growing up,I didn't have a dad,he died when I was four years old. I let the fact that I didn't have a father border me,"things would have been better if we had one". My mom tried her best playing dual roles,it wasn't easy taking care of three children single handedly. My younger sister always said she wanted to be like mom. I thought life was so unfair to us,at some point, I was so ungrateful. One day while coming back from church, I saw my classmate and her family being thrown out of their house,I remember how the landlord locked the door and
Last Updated : 2020-11-17NO HARM The insider
CHAPTER FIVE( THE INSIDER) A young man in his mid twenties entered a nice restaurant,it was obvious that he was searching for someone as he looked at every corner of the restaurant. One young lady waved her hands and he walked towards her after smiling, showing his white teeth. He said his greetings before taking his seats. Sitting opposite her in a little round table,she was wearing a mini dark brown gown,she wasn't smiling yet she still looked pretty. He admired her and smiled even though he knew what her intention of inviting him to this dinner was,he still couldn't deny the facts that she was pretty. The young lady(his girlfriend) kept a straight face even though her boyfriend kept smiling. They didn't order food and she tried to say something "I..." But the young man(Jay) looked at her and said "you want to break up our relationship,you think I'm creepy
Last Updated : 2020-11-23NO HARM ONE WITH SECRETS
CHAPTER SIX(ONE WITH SECRETS) Lillian sat down in the living room,she was watching something in her phone and smiling. Mark walked in,looking stressed. Before,Lillian would rush to him,kiss him and unbutton his shirt but it was just a "welcome home". Lillian received a text from her mother in law,she wanted to have lunch the next day. She was trying to be nice but to Lillian it was "pressuring" to her. Mark sat close to her,the night was cool and so was the bed,a bed that was supposed to be warm. "You know, I had dinner with your mom,she wants to mend our relationship. I'm having lunch with her tomorrow". Even when and after Lillian spoke, Mark just kept reading the magazine in his hands,he didn't reply her. " You know I said something right? Lillian asked sitting close to him,holding his hands to get his attention. " I hop
Last Updated : 2020-12-03NO HARM PEOPLE BY THE SEA
CHAPTER SEVEN( PEOPLE BY THE SEA) Mark came home and saw a sticker note on a plate. "I'm travelling for two weeks". That was all she wrote in the note,he just couldn't understand Lillian anymore. He tried calling her but her phone was switched off. He called Jemima and asked if she knew where Lillian was but she told him she didn't. Even her mom didn't know where she was. Few minutes later Jemima called and told Mark about a resort Lillian spoke of recently. Mark's mom visited,she brought a young lady with her,she said she was the temporary cook since Lillian wasn't around. " How did you know Lillian wasn't at home? Did she tell you that she was travelling?" Mrs Ade nodded her head. "Wow,she told you she was travelling but she didn't tell me,she left a stupid note for me to read". Mark was r
Last Updated : 2020-12-05NO HARM DARK CURTAINS
CHAPTER EIGHT(DARK CURTAIN) The main door of the house opened,Lillian walked in. The sitting room was nice,neatly arranged. The house looked empty. She walked to the kitchen,the utensils were neat and arranged. Even her room was neat,it was as if the house never needed her. She sat on the bed and it was cold. How can love be like this? Why did she leave her home for another woman to walk in? Why can't she tell her husband that she can't have a baby. She remembered the day she saw Jay taking photos of little kids,some with mud on their face. " I can't have a baby,I wasn't interested in having one before,but I suddenly became obsessed with having one and years passed without us Having children and my husband didn't say anything. When we were newly weds,he talked about it a lot but suddenly he stopped,he didn't Even allow us visit a doctor." Lillian pau
Last Updated : 2020-12-06NO HARM Mending challenges 2
MENDING CHALLENGES (PART TWO) MARK. Okay,my family is rich. Being the only child wasn't and still isn't nice for me,I wish I had an elder brother or a baby sister but it's not going to work now,according to scientific researches. When i met Lillian,for me I'd say it's love at first sight. Trying to make her like me back wasn't easy but I did it. Even when my mom was being tribalistic, I stood by my Lillian and US. At first she refused to get married,I dated her for six years and it really annoyed my mom. Ever since I was a little boy,I always wanted to be like my father. Even when my friends had issues with their dad,I never had one,he is a loving husband and a caring father. To me my Father is flawless. I desired to be like my dad.
Last Updated : 2020-12-09NO HARM THE GAME CONTINUES
THE GAME CONTINUES "That's not part of my question, I've answered what you asked" only Jay knew whose thought he couldn't read and Lillian knew he read hers before and he read Mark's in the table. Mark asked because he noticed that Jay have been staring at Joy,could that be reason? Before Mark spin the bottle, he wished the head would point at Jay but it was Joy. This time,Lillian asked her " truth or dare" and she replied "truth". " why are you so quiet,I think there's a story behind it,tell us why" .After Lillian asked her the question, she smiled for the first time that evening. "I was once cheerful as an high school student. I met this man who was much older than me,I'm sure his kid is the same age as me,he visited my mom's shop regularly, he bought expensive wines, he was like a perfect man. I didn't approach
Last Updated : 2020-12-10NO HARM THE NEW WIND
THE NEW WIND Lillian visited Jemima, it has been long since she had a chat with Jemima. Well,she was like Jemima now,a "stay at home wife" but their situation was different, Jemima's husband wouldn't let her work but she(Lillian) left work on her own. Lillian told Jemima about Jay and how he reads thoughts and it was funny to her,she asked if Lillian thinks she would believe. She told her about the little dinner that happened in her house and all the creepy things that happened and Jemima replied "You think I'd believe that,believe me,your dream was wild" it was of no use trying to convince her that it was true. She always believed what Lillian told her but she didn't believe this time. Jemima told Lillian that her husband got transferred from his place of work so they would
Last Updated : 2020-12-10
Latest chapter
NO HARM Harmless thoughts
HARMLESS THOUGHTS(LILLIAN:SECRET JOURNAL)WE ARE ALL FLOWERS WAITING TO BLOOM Looking at myself in the mirror, I look prettier with my chubby face,it's nice how my face became round and fat,I get a lot of compliments of how beautiful I've become. I was too afraid of losing this baby, I felt becoming pregnant and losing the pregnancy will harm my mental health but no,this baby is harmless. I have a little garden at the back of my compound, it's boring staying at home all day,so I nurture my flowers everyday with sweet talks,they are as pretty as the beautiful soul that lives in me. Mirabel records my moment with the flowers, now you may be thinking who she is right? She's my house help,she has her own family so leaves at nights,she understands my mood swings,cravings and nagging since she has been through pregnancy too. Jay's works are consoling these day
NO HARM Chasing smokes
Chasing smokesLillian I've been having dreams,you know those dreams you wake up from and feel relief that it was dream. I wouldn't like to share such dreams with Mark,perhaps I don't really care about dreams but this one left me shaking, more like trembling,I'm unable to control my hands,they keep shaking,I'm still feeling startled. But the dream wasn't scary,it wasn't some beast with three heads pursuing me with a knife. It was me,running in the dark, chasing smokes,trying to see where it leads me,my bloody naked skin didn't bother me,I was running after the smoke in confusion, I could hear mark calling me but I didn't turn,I was focused, running. Jemima, my Darling would snap her finger and say "it's a bad dream" if I should tell her but I won't,I don't Want her calling everytime being worried sick about me. I don't think my husband puts his beliefs in dream, I think I know his reply
NO HARM Unsettling dreams
UNSETTLING DREAMS Mark wakes up,the room is dark,he feels unsettled with the atmosphere around, he hears the wailing of a child,he looks around searching for Lillian. "Sweets,Sweets" he calls but there's no response, the only sound he can hear is the sound of a crying baby. He rushes down to the sitting room,the child is naked on the sofa,crying. He looked at the child confused, "what's a child doing in our house?",he asks. It feels like he's going insane, a scenerio he couldn't understand but his emotions were mixed,happiness and sadness. He looks at the kitchen, he can see a figure standing there,vague. There's a baby in his house,he can't find his wife or Jay. The more he moves closer to the kitchen, the slower his steps begin,his curiosity about the figure in the kitchen becomes frightening, why is he afraid? He ge
NO HARM A LITTLE MORE FAITH
A LITTLE MORE FAITHLILLIAN Jemima called,she has been calling everyday since I saw the envelope, she never fails to call,just like my husband and mom,they all think I've lost it, but,they just can't see why I'm unhappy when I'm expecting a baby, but that is not the point, I am not unhappy, I am just afraid of trusting too much and still loosing it. I've never heard Mark speak so much about faith than this period of our life Mark does all the house chores and cooking, he doesn't allow me to lift a finger,we are being so careful, especially Mark,I don't think I can face him if I lose this baby,if after all these, it doesn't stay, I'll feel so much pity towards him. I'll tell him we need a maid when he returns. "Welcome sweets" I walked to him to take his briefcase, but he doesn't want me to. My baby bump isn't even noticeable yet. I frown a little to
NO HARM Its not a good bye
IT'S NOT A GOODBYELillian. I keep thinking that my baby will die but I desperately want to keep it. I called my mom,I told her about my pregnancy, she said "it will stay" . why isn't any body telling me that it might die,they keep giving me positive vibes increasing my wanting for this baby that might die. I told Mark not to tell his mom about my pregnancy for now,he agreed even though I know he will tell her later. It hasn't been long I came to this school as a woman searching for a new life but here I am today, about to tell the principal about my resignation. To think I will tell my students who once had difficult times with me and finally now that we are in good sync, I'm leaving. I sat down in front of the principal,explaining to him why I wanted to resign. He gave his ears as I said mumbling words,words that I didn't want to tell him. He looked and spoke as i
NO HARM A crack in the wall
A SMALL CRACKMARK I got tired of my mom pressuring me for grand children. After she found out that Lillian couldn't have a child, she let her be. I thought it was peace at last but she started disturbing me to get a wife or divorce my wife. I couldn't bring myself to tell my wife about what my mom said,I mean,it wasn't her fault. Then Kemi came into the picture,she was the perfect bride for me according to my mom. If marrying Kemi would make my Mom stop bothering me and my wife, I decided to agree. But Lillian is a tough nut to crack,I know she wouldn't just allow me marry a woman because I wanted to end my mom's war so I played "falling for Kemi" but if only she knew that I didn't fight for our love for so long just to divert my heart to another woman later. * &nbs
NO HARM Wishing for the sky
WISHING FOR THE SKY "Are you really leaving now?Lillian calm down. You can't leave like this,I mean you're crying and you're in a state of confusion. You need to relax" Jemima's attempt to stop Lillian wasn't working. "I need to see my doctor, I don't get it. Why am I pregnant? The doctor said it would be very difficult for me to get pregnant,why am I......." "Lillian please! Isn't this what matters? The fact that you're pregnant,why does it seem like you never wanted a baby. I mean, for me this is a wonderful miracle" Jemima didn't have the patient to hear what Lillian was about to say before cutting in. "Why should I be happy when this baby is still going to die?why should I be given something that I can't keep? Who am I to wish for the sky?" Her words and emotions were not moving in the same boat. She couldn't just understand why she was pregnant but she really wanted to keep it,s
NO HARM Can I keep it?
CAN I KEEP IT? "I'm tired of staying at home,are you not bored? We stay at home all day". Jemima stood in front of the mirror checking her hips and tummy,her hips were wider and her tummy fatter. " Why are you suddenly complaining? You're a stay at home wife/mom, you are used to it. By the ways,you pick baby from school right? Oh,wait, the school bus does that job. " She looks at Jemima who is rather more curious about her chubby self. "And why do you care if you are fatter or not,you look perfect just the way you are" "Let's enjoy ourselves" she puts this devious smile on her face and smirks. "What kind of enjoyment?" Lillian asked "Let's go for pregnancy check up" Lillian's sighs and sits comfortably on the couch,crossing her legs like a celebrity in a talk show. "Come on,it's just for fun" Je
NO HARM It binds us
IT BINDS US "Lillian,where's your wedding band?" Jemima asked "I dropped it at home,it wasn't on purpose, just a mistake. " Lillian told Jemima and searched around the living room for baby. "Where's baby?""She's asleep,I guess you didn't noticed when she went to her room" "She can do that by herself now" Lillian asked,adjusting her self to sit properly. "I told you, she is no longer a baby" Jemima told Lillian. "I told him I wanted a divorce,but it's probably a mini charade I acted. I don't want to. I don't want to be known as the first wife who can't have a baby. You know,the one that loses her husband's love when the second wife gives birth to a child" Lillian laughed and continues "Just like in the movie" "I've heard movies are scripted life s
