Chapter 2

I didn't have the strength to do anything. I just managed to get home, get into the bathtub, and cry bitterly while touching my belly, which would soon be swollen with a pregnancy I hadn't asked for. Laura continued to look at me in silence, sympathizing with my sorrow. Until that date, my only problem was knowing that Thiago was married — a matter that, according to my imagination, was solvable. But a baby? What do you do with a baby when you're only twenty-four years old and have a terribly chaotic life filled with dreams of love with a millionaire man?

—"You'll have to get an abortion,"— my friend muttered. I looked at her with a furrowed brow, my face covered in water and tears.

—"I couldn't do that."

—"Then what will you do? Will you let go of your dream of becoming a businesswoman and matching your boss's level?"

—"I won't be able to achieve that, pregnant or not. Thiago is impossible."

—"You know very well that he's not happy in his marriage, and sooner or later, that will end."

—"Yes, but that's not now, and right now, I'm pregnant with someone I don't even know and will never get to know."

—"So what, Lisa? You can't just disappear. We have to face the situation, and the only viable option is the one I've already mentioned."

—"I need to find out the name of the woman who requested the In Vitro,"— I explained. I didn't even know where that idea came from; it just came to me, and when I said it, everything seemed good.

—"And how does that help, silly? You'll have to carry that baby for nine months and give birth."

—"I'm not silly. I could get paid for renting out my womb, sue the clinic, and profit from this tragedy,"— I explained, very convinced. The distress seemed to ease.

Laura looked at me as if I were crazy, and I clarified, —"With that money, I could invest, and then I could fight for Thiago."— Laura fell silent. Though it seemed like a good idea, it was really uncertain. I just got dressed and had a coffee while continuing to think about what was to come. I saw Laura leave my house, worried and upset. I understood why she left; I couldn't even stand myself.

The rain continued to fall. I couldn't tolerate the loneliness in my house; the white walls reminded me of the clinic. An hour after my friend's departure, I had no other option but to leave and close the door behind me. I walked aimlessly in the rain, covered by water and pain. My steps led me to the Siluetas modeling agency. I arrived at the door, heard noises and sobbing. For a moment, fear didn't inhabit me, and I knocked on the door. Then everything fell silent. I insisted and knocked again.

—"Who's there?"— he asked, furious, with a strained voice. I knew it was Thiago, but his way of speaking worried me. I thought about the reasons that would make him stay there when it was already late and not a single worker's car was in sight.

—"Lisa,"— I answered fearlessly.

—"You again? What do you want, Lisa? I told you this morning I'd call you. There's no work for now,"— he responded, sounding frightened.

—"I know, I'm truly sorry. I just have nowhere else to go,"— I said, my voice trembling from the cold.

—"Home, you could go home,"— he shouted because the rain interrupted any silence.

I didn't reply. Minutes later, I heard his chair moving, and suddenly, he was in front of me. The man who drove me crazy, who was slipping through my fingers right now. He grabbed my arm tightly and pulled out a chair for me to sit on. In that gesture, my heart shrank.

—"I always knew you were a childish little girl,"— he laughed as he handed me a towel to dry myself. —"But I never thought you were a thoughtless little girl when it came to yourself."

—"I have only one problem,"— I said, drying my face.

—"We all have problems."

—"You don't, because you're a millionaire, the owner of the best modeling agency in the country, or the world."

—"No, Lisa, not everything in life is about money."

—"But you have it."

He looked at me and smiled. For a moment, I thought his arrogance didn't exist, until he continued.

—"It only takes intelligence to have it. Girls like you, who enjoy getting wet in the rain at night, will never have it,"— he joked.

—"I don't do it for fun,"— I clarified.

—"Then why are you here?"

—"I needed to see you, Thiago,"— I said without hesitation. He turned his back to me and stood in front of his computer, absorbed.

—"I'm married, Lisa,"— he muttered under his breath. —"With a woman who can't give me a child, so this agency, my Ferrari, and my money are worthless."

I looked at him completely stunned. Hearing him say that only reminded me of my growing belly.

—"And I'll be a mom by accident."

—"Certainly, wings are given to those who don't want to fly,"— he added remorsefully but with a smile. He looked up and saw me contentedly.

—"It was In Vitro,"— I said, and he interrupted.

—"In Vitro?"

—"It was a mistake at the clinic,"— I explained.

—"You should report them."

—"I spent all my savings on the Women's Health Clinic for a simple consultation that turned into this. It's prestigious, and I'll never win a lawsuit."

—"Yes, that's where the woman who was going to rent her womb for my child was. But we couldn't achieve fertilization,"— he explained. Many things passed through my mind at that moment, but I didn't specify them. I thought about suggesting that he adopt the child I was carrying in my womb, but I could only ask why he didn't do it naturally. He looked confused and laughed.

—"As I said, my wife doesn't want to ruin her body or go through what pregnancy entails, let alone giving birth."

—"She doesn't love you,"— I added as if he had asked me.

—"There are so many things you don't know about me, Lisa. Maybe you're right, but it's a long story."— he replied, annoyed, while arranging some papers. For a moment, I forgot we were talking about my pregnancy. I approached the desk and said,

—"I would give everything for you, but I don't have the appropriate status to even give you a kiss."

He grabbed me by the waist with a lot of anger, pulled me closer, and brought his face close to mine. My breath accelerated as I felt his hands on me, and I stared at his pink, full lips that tempted me to bite them. His hands encircled my body, and I felt his warmth. Desire and pity were in his gaze.

—"You're beautiful, Lisa, and that's enough. You're simple and tender, and that's enough,"— he said in a low voice. He pressed his lips to mine softly. I let myself go with his rhythm. He tasted my lower lip and then moved to the upper one. I felt my legs trembling, and my chest throbbed at an indescribable pace. His hands touched my back, reaching my hair. He held it tenderly. I closed my eyes, wishing that the moment would never end. I wrapped my arms around his neck and surrendered to that kiss, which felt like the first one. We kissed passionately and delicately. Slowly, he pulled away, looking at me as he sighed.

In response to that, I returned to reality. That kiss was just another trap for my increasingly unattainable illusion.

—"Why are you doing this to me, Thiago?"

—"Because ever since I saw you taking pictures of Laura with so much simplicity and enthusiasm, I knew you were charming, Lisa. And when you spoke to me with such humility and confidence, politely asking for a job and apologizing for coming to the agency without permission, you stuck in my heart. And that emotional state surprised me because you've seen that not just anyone pleases me. But Lisa, look at yourself; you're adorable,"— he commented in a low voice.

I looked at him in astonishment, touched my arm, thinking it was a dream, but he was still in front of me, with his eyes full of pity.

—"Life is just unfair, or rather, destiny is complicated."

He held my arm gently to prevent me from running away. —"Very unfair; I'm a man who doesn't know what to do with so much money, luxury, and fame. And you're a girl who's entangled in such a huge problem that's the solution I need in my life. But you're not the person who should fulfill that, nor am I the man you deserve in your life, Lisa. You have to leave. The rain has stopped, and we can't continue with this because it's pointless."

I didn't know how to respond. I grabbed my jacket and walked toward the door in silence. Before reaching it, I turned around, but he wasn't looking at me anymore; his eyes were fixed on the window of his office, his fists clenched, resting on his chin.