Chapter 5

— Are you serious, Thiago? — I asked once I had regained my breath.

— I would never lie to those brown eyes — He responded.

— I'm not on your level — I said, attempting to gauge the reliability of his response.

— That doesn't matter! Thinking about that is almost blasphemy. How many women out there are willing for me just because of my money? What sense does that make? I don't want that anymore. I live it from my home. I don't need that, Lisa, only loyalty. Are you willing to submit?

Listening to him raised so many doubts, instead of confirming what I wanted, it left me even more confused, so I could only add, — Submit to what?

— To this game.

— Game?

— Yes, the game of loyalty, which can be very dangerous.

— I didn't notice you for your money — I added, as if he was questioning me about that.

— I'm not talking about money, but about how much loyalty you could offer, to this poor man surrounded by women who want to take advantage of him — he commented sarcastically.

— Is it necessary to sarcastically mention "women"? That's something I'm well aware of — I said, furrowing my brow.

— Loyalty, Mrs. Lisa, I ask for loyalty. I'm not interested in those other women similar to my wife. Can you give me that? — He continued with his humorous sarcasm.

— I'm not understanding you — I said, confused.

— What I need from you is just loyalty. I've discovered that your heart is noble, that you are kindness and love. I want that from you. Do you want to enter my game?

— I'm pregnant, and you're married — I repeated again because I didn't want to get entangled further or fill myself with more illusions. I felt like this was already going too far.

— Pff — He sighed. Damn obstacles! But what do you want, Lisa? Why do you look at me like that and respond to my kiss?

— Because I am kindness and love, peace and tranquility — I added, laughing.

— No, dear, really, why? How is it that you have the ability to make me sit here in a park I didn't even know existed?

— I didn't force you, you came.

— For the same reason, Lisa. What did you do to make me follow you?

— I don't know, Thiago, I don't even understand it myself. What's happening?

— You drive me crazy, how many times do I have to repeat it?

— And your wife, Thiago? — I asked seriously.

— She doesn't love me, and I don't love her. It's just an irony, a marriage for social compliance. Maybe before looking at her economic status and caring about what people would say, I should have known her cold, egocentric heart, so incapable of love.

His expression was pitiful. I saw the sparkle fade in his eyes, and his breath revealed regrets that deeply touched my heart.

— You're not happy, Thiago — I said with a sigh.

— I'm trapped in a golden cage that I no longer want. I just want to be free, for someone to finally look at me with love, like you do, like my mother did once.

— Esmeralda never did that, did she? — I commented in astonishment.

— She only sees what I possess with love, my fame, my cars, everything that can be bought with money. No matter how hard I've tried to melt her icy heart, I only end up hurting myself.

What he was saying was so intimate that it began to intrigue me. The strong and despotic man he showed at the company was nothing compared to the one I had before me. It was incredible how destiny placed us in a neutral place, so different from his world, so close to mine. I was lost in thought when he interrupted me.

— Do you want to be my refuge in this desert? — He asked.

— I'm afraid, Thiago — I said softly.

— There's nothing to fear except unhappiness.

— I know it well — I added.

— I promise not to hurt you.

— But you hardly know me — I commented and realized that even though my responses were ambiguous, or maybe almost reflexive refusals, I had to stand firm in my stance. I had to evaluate the situation well. After all, Hugo had said that rich and wealthy men were dangerous, and I couldn't let myself easily enter his game, as he casually called it, even though deep inside, I was dying to kiss him. I had already let myself go enough in the previous days.

— Since you arrived at the agency, I saw in you what I've already mentioned. You're capricious, wanting me to repeat the same thing over and over.

— No, it's not that. I just don't understand what you want — I said.

— Be my refuge, Lisa, just that. I don't care if you're pregnant, nor do I care about respecting my marriage, which is ultimately just a contract. She doesn't even respect me. The day you came to my office after the rain, I knew she had met an older man in Nuevo León. And here I was, suffering because the woman I hired to rent her womb didn't achieve fertilization. Esmeralda is just that, a precious stone without a soul. She doesn't care about what I want or how I feel — he explained calmly, as if he could trust me.

— How terrible! I wish I could tell you many things, but I don't know her — I said, somewhat fearful.

— I'm not lying to you, Lisa. Nor is it my intention to speak ill of her. But that's the truth. That's why I'd rather be here with you now than at home, where everything is empty.

I could perceive the sincerity in his eyes and in the way he spoke to me. He seemed so desolate, so lacking in love. Yet, at the same time, it was like getting to know the real Thiago, the fragile, human side of him that, beyond being a millionaire, was just a man like everyone else. Weak and, in the end, suffering just like me. All of this gave me enough confidence to ask more about him.

— And your family?

— I'm an only child. My father died when I was little, around 8 years old. From then on, his agency was transferred to my name. My mother died when I turned 20, on my birthday. That's why I married Esmeralda, as it was my mother's last wish. I married her two days before her death. She didn't want to leave me alone, as if that were the cruelest thing in life. Now I think that would have been the best. Then I could have you, and you could see me without fear — he said, getting closer to my face.

Listening to him was suffocating. One part of me compelled me to believe him, while another made me resist any illusions. — I'm not afraid of you, but of what I might feel — I said nervously.

— Just be my refuge — he whispered, his words like a purr in my ear, and he continued.

— A hidden refuge, Thiago — I replied, almost in tears.

— Why? — He asked, his eyes piercing me with anger as he stepped back.

— Because you're married, damn it! Whatever the reason, you're married. I'm not from your world, and soon I'll have a swollen belly that anyone will know is pregnancy. We could never be together in public, and I don't want that — I shouted.

— Yes, here together where no one from your world is seeing you. I don't want to be just another toy in your collection, Thiago. I also don't want to hurt your wife. Even though she's married to you for money, she holds the title of wife, and I don't intend to be your mistress — I replied, more upset. I even forgot when I had wanted to keep them apart. Everything was overwhelming now.

— My refuge, Lisa, my refuge, not my lover. Come on, just give me a kiss with those small, pink lips — he said as if what he was saying didn't matter, and once again, he stood in front of me with those eyes that felt like bullets in my chest.

I didn't know how to act around that man who had been driving me crazy from before and who now, so close to me, filled me with so much fear and confusion.