Chapter 5

The closest interaction Ryan had with his daughter was when she greeted him at the door. Autumn would always stand there with a big smile and wish him good luck at work, or welcome him home from work.

That was the limit to their affection for one another.

Many times, Ryan simply chose to not show any affection towards his daughter, even going as far as to avoid looking directly at her adorable face.

Autumn simply looked way too similar to Silvia; it was as if they were carbon copies of each other. They even had the same expressions and attitude; especially that godforsaken smile.

He didn't understand how they had so much positivity in their hearts, or how they always had the energy to be so bubbly all the time. He felt like he would be blinded by their bright smiles the moment he laid eyes on them.

He disliked the mother and daughter in that regard. Hence, he refused to have any interactions with them.

However, someone's smile had faded through time and her light was dimmed as well. Her silence was enough for him to momentarily forget about her existence sometimes.

After calling Silvia’s number several times and being unable to reach her, Ryan exploded from sheer rage. He had held himself back the whole night, but now, he couldn't any longer.

As he threw his phone to the ground, the loud crash frightened the little one. Her face remained full of tears and her eyes widened with fear, but no sound came out from her mouth anymore.

'Finally, she stopped crying,' Ryan thought, satisfied.

He then noticed Autumn curling up in the corner. He felt a sharp pain somewhere in his chest, as if someone was clutching onto his lungs.

He knew he had terrified the little girl.

With the little amount of rationality he had left, he belatedly realized he shouldn't have vented his anger out in front of his child, no matter what happened between him and Silvia.

Ryan quickly softened his expression as much as he possibly could, using his most gentle tone to speak as he approached his daughter.

"Sorry, Autumn. I'm not angry at you, okay?"

However, she quickly backed away in panic, tears welling up in her eyes once again. It was as if she would resume crying if he were to take another step closer.

Seeing this, Ryan’s heart grew heavy with sadness and helplessness.

His daughter was three years old, but he had never bonded with her properly, not even once. Hence, he told himself that he wouldn’t hold any affection for his child.

Yet now, seeing the little one’s petrified gaze staring back at him, he finally understood what heart-wrenching helplessness felt like.

This emotion made him extremely uncomfortable, so he tried to squat down to the girl’s eye level. “Autumn, don’t be afraid. Papa won’t hurt you.”

Suddenly, he found the child pitiful. She too had been abandoned by that wicked woman. Thinking about this made him feel more compassionate, which softened his expression too.

It was likely due to his change in attitude that Autumn no longer backed into the corner of her bed.

Despite this, her eyes were still wide. She bit down on her lower lip, using this to hide her fear towards the man.

Ryan was used to being in control, so he refused to let himself get bested by the difficulties in handling children, especially when she was his biological daughter.

Lightly tapping his long, slender fingers on the edge of the crib, he remembered that the little girl had mentioned wanting to go to Disneyland to her mother earlier that morning, while they were enjoying breakfast together.

'What did that woman say again? I think she said I was too busy with work, so I had no free time to do so.' His lips curved upwards into a warm smile.

He looked at Autumn's face, observing her as he said, "Didn't you say you wanted to go to Disneyland? Do you want Papa to take a few days off of work to take you there?"

The fear in Autumn's eyes was instantly replaced by surprise. She sat up, questioning him with a sweet voice, "Really?"

Her smile melted Ryan's heart, which led to negotiation. "Really, but only if you stop crying for Mama and go to bed. Papa will try his best to finish up work and take you there. I promise."

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Yay! I get to go to Disneyland!"

Simple minded, the child immediately dropped her doubts towards Ryan after having been promised such an amazing deal. She even started bouncing joyfully on her pink little mattress.

Seeing just how happy the little girl looked, Ryan genuinely wanted to take her to the theme park now. It was no longer just a trade to make her go to bed.

Back then, a certain woman's happiness sprouted from such simplicities as well.

As long as it was a gift from him, even if he didn't put in much effort in picking them out, her face would light up within seconds. Her eyes would curve up into beautiful crescents, followed by her giggling as she gave him a big hug.

For some reason, they started drifting apart at some point. It had been quite some time since she had snuggled into his arms, nor openly expressed her love for him.

Realizing this fact upset him once more, despite having calmed down not long ago. Nonetheless, he didn’t let it show on his face. Instead, he kept it all to himself so he wouldn’t frighten Autumn.

-

That night, Ryan and Autumn got along with each other rather well despite their rough start earlier. This was mainly due to his promise regarding Disneyland, which helped resolve the little one’s initial anxiety towards him.

However, it was still not enough to bring them any closer. It was an impossible reality to achieve after all, considering the fact they’ve rarely interacted for the past three years.

Even so, as someone who had always put his entire focus on work and never had to care for his daughter alone, Ryan considered stopping Autumn’s crying an achievement.

Only after his daughter fell asleep was he able to return to his showering, allowing him to finally release his pent up anger.

He swore to do whatever it took to punish that woman for humiliating him this way.

‘Does she think she can hide from me forever?’

‘So she wants a divorce, huh? I’ll make sure she won’t have her way, then!’

Thinking of the many ways he could teach her a lesson, the suffocating feeling inside his chest was lifted.

He had actually asked Autumn about Aunt Rosa’s identity just now, but the little one didn’t quite know her full name. If she did, he would’ve had someone investigate that person’s whereabouts and drag Silvia home right that instant.

Yet this was the moment he realized he knew nothing about Silvia, despite the fact they had been married for five whole years. He didn’t even know who her best friends were, and was unable to find her when she decided to walk out on him.

The uncertainty within this situation aroused an uncomfortable feeling in him, which only made him angrier due to his nasty controlling tendencies.

Thus, Ryan couldn’t get a wink of sleep at all that night. His mind was filled with flashbacks of Silvia ridiculing him in the banquet hall by mentioning divorce to everyone, along with her teary face when she stood at the hall entrance.