Forgotten Memories

Silas doesn't think much of humans. They are fragile, a bit annoying, and apart from being food, they aren't good for much else. But there was something different about this girl—he could tell from the moment he saw her. At first, he thought it was just her scent; she smelled so good that he couldn’t resist feeding on her. He almost killed her in the process. Well, not that he had intended to kill her, but if she had died, it wouldn’t have mattered to him. She was just another human, even if she had claimed to know him—claimed she was his sister.

Silas had laughed at the ridiculousness of it. A human as his sister? How absurd. But then again, his father had fallen in love with a human once, so it wasn’t entirely impossible. If he did have a half-blood sibling someday, he wouldn’t be too surprised.

After feeding on her, Silas assumed the girl was dead and went on with his life without a second thought. But when he saw her again at a party, kneeling at Deric’s feet, something inside him stirred. It wasn’t jealousy—he didn’t care about humans enough to feel jealous—but he was furious. Furious that she was with someone else. He didn’t understand it, but the sight of her with Deric made him want to tear the man apart.

It felt strange, alien. Emotions he thought were long buried clawed their way to the surface whenever he looked at her for too long. Blurry images flashed in his mind—moments of warmth, of growing up with someone, of loving that person deeply. But the face in those memories was always blurred, impossible to identify. Every time he tried to focus, a searing pain would pierce his head, so intense that he sometimes blacked out.

Silas knew then that something was wrong with him. Someone had tampered with his mind. Either a memory had been wiped or a spell had been cast to keep him from remembering. But such magic was beyond most witches—only the most powerful could create such a barrier. Perhaps the legends were true, and the first vampire, the one who guarded the Forbidden Tree, was real. Only someone of that caliber could have done this.

Still, Silas didn’t want to dwell on painful memories he couldn’t access. If they had been taken from him, maybe they weren’t worth remembering. And yet, as the days passed, he found himself unable to stay away from the girl.

He knew he had been wrong to ask Carter to feed on her. He would apologize and promise never to do it again. But now, Deric was in his house demanding to see Kerry. Silas felt like he was about to commit murder right then and there.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Deric glared at him. It was clear he was holding himself back from pouncing on Silas and tearing him limb from limb. Ever since he’d received that call from Kerry, he hadn’t been able to think properly for even a second. He was afraid Silas had done something to harm her. But Deric knew that even if Silas tried to kill her again, Kerry would never admit it—she loved Silas. Deric couldn’t see anything lovable about the bastard. If only Kerry knew what kind of person her stepbrother was, she wouldn’t waste her emotions on him. He didn’t deserve her love. Deric had been wrong to let her go with Silas in the first place. “If I find out you did anything bad to her, I’ll find a way to kill you.”

“You can try that. I didn’t do anything to Kerry, and even if I did hurt her, it was by accident. We’ll solve our issues by ourselves. We don’t need you poking your nose into something that has nothing to do with you.”

“Nothing to do with me?! She fucking called me to come take her! She came with you willingly, but now she wants to get away from you. You fucked up real bad,” Deric laughed coldly in his face.

This infuriated Silas greatly. He knew Kerry was angry with him, but he didn’t think she would actually call Deric. Did she want to leave him so badly—just because he made one mistake? Silas turned away and walked back into the house, leaving Deric behind. He knew it was only a matter of time before Deric followed. Silas went directly to Kerry’s room, his anger boiling inside him as he pushed the door open. He found her sitting on her bed. She flinched when he slammed the door heavily behind him. It was a miracle the door remained intact.

“You called Deric?”

Kerry’s mouth fell open. It was clear she wanted to say something—possibly curse at him or try to defend herself—but she kept her mouth shut and didn’t bother to explain. She looked away and stared down at her hands. Her silence was answer enough. She had called Deric, but she saw no reason to tell Silas. Silas didn’t think it was possible to be angrier than he already was. He walked toward her, but she remained on the bed.

“Just because I made one mistake, you want to go back to that bastard now?! You think I’m just going to let you go like that? You must be delusional.”

“This has nothing to do with what you did,” Kerry said. When she looked up at him, her expression was one of defeat. “I feel like there’s no point in staying here anymore.”

“No point? You’re my pet. You’re going to stay here for as long as I want you to. Where else do you think you can go? To Deric? He won’t be any different. Because at the end of the day, you’re still human, and all you can ever be is either a feeder or a fucking bed warmer!”

Kerry leaped to her feet so fast he barely noticed. Before he knew it, a loud sound echoed through the room. There was a slight pain on the side of his face. She had slapped him. Silas laughed—this was the first time someone had hit him. And to think it was a human. If it had been anyone else, he might have killed them by now. But as he watched the anger on Kerry’s face, he realized he could never bring himself to kill this woman. He loved her too much. When had that even happened? When did he fall in love with a human?

“Silas! Silas!” Kerry grabbed his arms, pulling herself closer to him. Her eyes were wild and desperate. “I love you, Silas. I finally realize that I’ve loved you all this time, but I was too afraid to admit it. But now that I have, you don’t reciprocate. All this time, you’ve told me how much you loved me, how much you wished we could be together. But you can’t even remember me now. Why is it that even Carter can remember Emily, but you can’t remember me? Doesn’t that mean you never loved me as much as you claimed? Were you lying to me all this time?”

Tears streamed down her face, and she looked miserable. Silas reached out to wipe those tears away, but she flinched back. He dropped his hand, clenching it by his side. Again, he tried to remember. He really tried. But there was nothing he could do to access those blurry memories. “I don’t understand half the things you just said.”

“Of course.” She wiped away her tears. “My Silas would never forget.”

“Who is your Silas exactly? There’s just one of me.”

She gave him a blank look, then turned and walked toward the door. She’s going to leave you, a voice told him. Silas knew he didn’t want her to leave. He didn’t know when or how he had fallen in love with this human, but he knew he had. He couldn’t let her leave. “I love you, Kerry. Please don’t leave.”

She froze. Kerry turned to look at him, her eyes bright and hopeful. For a moment, Silas thought he had her where he wanted—she wouldn’t leave now. But her face fell, and she looked even more depressed.

“Why do you love me?” she asked.

“What?”

“You said you love me. Why?”

“Because I do.”

“No, you don’t. You’re just saying that to get me to stay. You don’t really love me. Maybe you never even loved me to begin with. Perhaps you found me interesting and wanted to play with me. You might have gotten rid of me if you got bored. I know I love you, but you might not love me.”

Silas felt his anger overwhelm him. This stupid girl—how dense could she possibly be? If she didn’t believe him, fine. Just let her go. Good riddance.

“What law says that just because you love me, I have to love you back?!”

She didn’t say anything. Kerry left the room and shut the door behind her. Silas could hear her footsteps fading away. He tried to think again, but his head hurt. Hopeless, he felt very hopeless.

“Dammit!”

Why couldn’t he remember?