I Can't Love You Back

Silas didn’t know how long he stood there, unsure of what to do with himself. There was nothing worse than trying to recover a memory you knew you had but couldn’t access. He felt nothing but regret as he left the room and went after Kerry. He found her with Deric; the other vampire had her in his embrace. His arms were wrapped around her tightly, and he whispered words of comfort into her ears as she cried on his shoulder. It was truly a romantic scene. If Silas didn’t know better, he would think the two of them were lovers who had just been reunited.

Silas knew he was the reason the girl was crying. The harsh words he had said to her echoed in his mind, and he felt nothing but regret. But how could he bring himself to explain to her how hard he was trying? He wished he could be the person she wanted him to be, but it was hard when he didn’t even know who that was. It felt like two parts of him were fighting against each other. It hurt, but not as much as seeing someone you love in the arms of another and knowing there was nothing you could do about it.

“Shouldn’t you be on your way?” Silas said coldly. His voice was the interruption the two needed to pull away from each other’s embrace. Kerry looked over at him with tears in her eyes and then quickly averted her gaze. Maybe she didn’t want him to see how sad she was, but Silas could literally smell the sadness radiating from her. It was so strong it was almost tangible. His entire body tensed as he held himself back from going over there and wrapping her in his embrace. He wanted to apologize to her so badly and tell her how much he loved her.

Silas knew he loved this girl, but he didn’t know why or when he had fallen in love with her. He didn’t have an answer to the question she had asked, and not knowing made him feel like a complete failure. He had said the first thing that came to his mind: ‘What law says just because you love me, I have to love you back?’ Why had he even said that? What the hell was wrong with him?

“Fuck off, douchebag,” Deric scowled at him. “We are leaving.” He reached out and held Kerry’s hand, then proceeded to lead her toward his car. Silas watched with gritted teeth. Kerry had her back turned to him, and she didn’t even look at him before she got into the car. Silas felt a bitter ache in his heart as he watched them drive away. There went the one fucking person he had ever cared about. She had left him, and he couldn’t even blame her for it.

He turned around and went back to his room. Sitting on his bed, he contemplated what his next move would be. Technically, he shouldn’t be so emotional just because his feeder had left. She wasn’t that special. He could find another. He would find another. Kerry could be happy with Deric all she wanted; he would show her she wasn’t anything special. She was just a feeder, and feeders were easily replaceable.

Silas picked up his phone and dialed a number he knew by heart. He needed a distraction. The moment he got what he wanted, he probably wouldn’t even remember Kerry anymore. The chaotic feeling in his chest would be long gone.

---

Lyla was a friend of his. They had known each other since childhood, but that was a long time ago, and Silas had barely seen her over the years. Yet she was the one he had the most fun with because they were clearly attracted to each other. Lyla had wanted them to date, but Silas had denied her request because, to be honest, apart from her appearance, he didn’t find anything else attractive about her. She was rude, sassy, and a bit dumb. She looked down on everyone she thought wasn’t in the same class as her. Silas wasn’t a saint, of course; he could be arrogant most of the time too. But Lyla was on a whole different level of arrogance, and his father didn’t like her very much.

But today, he intended to find comfort with her. Her long blonde curls and killer figure made her extremely attractive. But when Silas looked at her now, he found that, as much as he wanted to deny it, she wasn’t what he wanted. Despite his efforts, he was still thinking about Kerry and how she had left earlier that day. The image of her holding hands with Deric made his blood boil. Why couldn’t he get her out of his mind? He hated it!

“Silas, baby,” Lyla cooed, running her fingers through his hair as she straddled him. He had invited her to his house. His father was away on a business meeting, and Silas knew that was just an excuse for his father to spend time with that woman away from others.

“I was so surprised when you called me today. It’s been so long since we last hung out.”

Silas rolled his eyes. He had forgotten how much this woman liked to run her mouth. He might have found her voice attractive before, but now it just reminded him that she was only a substitute. He cupped Lyla’s face roughly, his eyes locking onto hers with intensity and anger. He leaned in, capturing her lips in a searing kiss that was hot and passionate. The taste of her lipstick was disgusting. He noticed it immediately because he didn’t need to worry about that when he kissed Kerry. Kerry’s lips were always supple, and her mouth sweet—especially after a meal.

He ran his fingers through Lyla’s hair. It was too long and too silky. The disappointment in his chest made him tighten his grip, causing Lyla to gasp in pain. She took the hurt as pleasurable—she was just that kind of masochistic person. Her hands moved to unbutton her shirt, letting it fall from her shoulders to expose smooth, pale skin. Silas cupped her chest, the weight of her breasts enticing.

“Oh, God,” Lyla moaned as Silas rocked against her. He pushed her onto the bed and soon stripped her of her underwear. She had missed being with him so much that, when she received his call, she had hurried over. Now she looked forward to having him fuck her into the mattress.

Silas leaned forward to kiss her again. He could feel excitement coursing through him, and for just a moment, all thoughts of his human feeder left his mind. He was going to fuck Lyla and get whatever stress he was feeling out of his body. After that, he would go back to his normal self and forget whatever had happened with Kerry.

When Silas pulled away from Lyla, however, he made the mistake of staring directly at her face. Her blue eyes watched him with lust. She leaned forward to kiss him, but Silas pulled away violently.

“Fuck,” he cursed, running his hands through his hair. Dread and frustration filled him. He slammed his fist on the table by the side of the bed, and the wooden table shattered under his strength. Lyla flinched back in surprise, not daring to reach for him again.

“Damnit!”

Silas knew it wasn’t possible to forget. He couldn’t get that girl out of his mind no matter how hard he tried. He couldn’t live with the thought of her being with Deric. She was his. His alone. And he didn’t care whether he loved her or not; he wouldn’t let anyone else touch her.

Silas threw on his shirt and grabbed his car key. He didn’t even look at Lyla as he walked out of the room. He got into his car and drove out of the mansion. He would go to Deric’s house and get her back, even if he had to tear through that damn vampire to do so.