My head turned to the side, and heat and sting followed my cheeks. The sound of skin-on-skin slaps echoed in the room. "We've let you and your sister live comfortably all this time, can't you return the favor to your parents?" "I never asked for a comfortable life." I replied, looking back at my mother with a flat look. I felt nothing at all. "I never asked to be born." "You.." she raised her index finger before me and lowered it. Sighing before chuckling, "Luckily, I didn't tell your father, or you'd be finished off right now." Finished off. That was a good option, it seemed. But I kept quiet, only seeing her coming out of my room. Apparently, Louis only told his mom, and she said to my mom. I don't know what stopped Mama from telling Papa. Maybe it was her empathy, which was very little, or perhaps she was waiting for something. I sighed, rubbed my cheeks lightly, and picked up my makeup. I was going to Nicholas's apartment. Not to get entangled in his bed but for a small di
I was pouring the whiskey neatly when Gallena appeared beside me. I stared at her as she reached for the bottle of vodka and then filled the glass to three-quarters full. She glanced at me, looked away, and then turned her gaze back to me when she noticed my attention. "What?" "Maybe try hiding your alcohol addiction from me from now on." "Let me continue with my classes and I will." "Would you rather be safe, or happy?" She blinked as if it was a much more complicated question. "Both, I guess." "Unfortunately, that's not an option." Her sigh was extinguished. "It's not my fault many men want to kill you." Many might sound like an understatement. "And now you." Her brows furrowed. "What?" "They also wanted to kill my wife," I said before adding, "Probably raped you a few times first." She frowned. "Like you were going to do to me?" Somehow, I knew she was going to say that. I stared at her, my expression expressionless. She pushed a strand of caramel-colored hair behind h
I hadn't eaten much; my stomach was already churning. I didn't want to take any chances. I stepped out of the bathroom and was stunned to see my sister's fiancé lying on my bed, messing with my phone. I tilted my head, "Excuse me, you shouldn't be here." "A warning that came too late." "You never listen to me, anyway." Nicholas smiled, stood up, and I walked over to him. "You will not use your phone from tomorrow." I frowned in distaste. "That's ridiculous." "There are a lot of guys' numbers in your chat box." I raised an eyebrow. "I don't even look at them." "But, still." He snorted, pulling at my waist. His face lowered, and whispered in front of me. "I saw Lorenzo's number." I didn't even know that because I very rarely opened my full message box. They came from guys I didn't recognize, and I only texted people who needed to: my cousin, Gal, and some friends. "He must have offered me to come to the golf course in the summer." "That's next year," Nicholas' face hardened,
I stiffened in my chair, staring at Louis Jamesson, who didn't even want to look at me. But he still had the expression he always wore. Full of honor, I used to say. Now I want to cackle sarcastically in the middle of this fucking dinner and give him my middle finger. Because, in reality.. he didn't do what he was supposed to do. He shouldn't have put me in the hot seat in the middle of two families I hated so much, and he should have respected my choice. Or he could have talked to me again; I could have given him a complete understanding of what he should do. Not like this, disappearing and then giving an ultimatum that further put me in a state of emergency. He went ahead with our engagement, and as anyone in my family would always do.. they wouldn't bother to ask my opinion. Like Gallena, I found myself in the middle of the railroad tracks and waited for the train to run over me and crush me into meaningless pieces of meat. I looked down, staring at my food with all my thoughts
I stopped all my activities. Really stop. Letters of resignation have been handed over to the office, and security is growing tight around me. Gallena had said it all and she overheard Mama and Aunt Irina's conversation; that everyone was afraid that I would run away again, and here I am, under house arrest.It's been five days, and I've been doing everything like a robot. Talking in moderation, having breakfast, sitting in the middle of the little dinner party between Mikhaelovich and Jamesson talking sparingly, and then returning to my room to lie there.I'm not far from my room, because it's a safe place for me at the moment. No one was able to barge in anymore, and messed up all my senses only to slam me to the ground. I prefer to be alone now, and just waiting for my death which is truly dead.I went into the bathroom, grabbed a razor, and went back to painting the cuts on my hands. It's not as painful as it used to be, and now I do it more and more before I soak myself in the ba
"Try this on," the smile didn't fade from Cammelia Jamesson's face, she held out a long light blue dress that I had no idea what kind it was, but it was pretty and graceful. I nodded, smiled a little and took it from her hand before walking into the dressing room. The dress was pretty on my body, but considering what this outfit was for.. I didn't have a speck of energy in my body.Eating was still completely absent from my daily agenda-something I heard Mama complaining to Cammelia Jamesson on the phone as I walked past her yesterday, the flowery chiffon wrap dress clinging to my ever-shrinking body. At this point, my stomach had given up and stopped growling altogether.This morning, I forced myself to steal a few bites of bread when everyone was busy making their points with my engagement party, but it was barely enough to calm my shrinking gut. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was hoping I'd fainted or caused enough damage to be rushed to the hospital where perhaps my family w
He pulled my hips sharply and slammed into me with one hard thrust. I arched with a cry as the pain shot through me. Fuck. I breathed in quickly through my nose, my eyes closed. "Oh shit," I gasped when I could speak again. This was much worse than I thought. A sly grin twisted his lips, and I wanted nothing more than to wipe it off his face. Nicholas braced himself in her arms, bringing us closer. I tensed at the movement he caused. A jolt of something because I couldn't count how long we had been out of touch. Nicholas doesn't take his eyes off me. They were dark and possessive, and seemed to stare right through me. If it didn't feel like defeat, I would have looked away. He pulled out slowly before sliding back in and I tensed with the pain of his hardness. My body is a terrible traitor. At least, this time I managed to hold my breath. Nicholas moved slowly and carefully, his muscles tightening with each thrust.I hated that he was considerate. I hated when he was gentle with m
The disaster started on a black night. Starless night, soulless, shineless. The kind of night that serves as an ominous backdrop in folklore. I peeked at the crashing waves fighting with the large spiky rocks that formed the cliffs. My feet shook on the edge as bloody images rolled through my mind with the destructive power of a hurricane. Playback occurs in full, distracting motion. Engines revving, cars sliding, and finally, haunting metal scrapes against rocks and splashes in deadly water. There are no cars now, no people in them, no unrepentant souls scattered into the air. It only slams the angry waves and the ferocity of solid rock. Still, I didn't dare blink. I didn't blink then either. I just stared and stared, then screamed like a haunted mythical creature. However, he did not hear me. A man whose body and soul are no longer with us. The man who struggled both mentally and emotionally but still managed to be there for me. A sudden chill ran down my spine, and I
Nicholas really took me away. It was a long trip because we were on a plane, and I only found out when the pilot told me where we were going."Spain?" I asked, looking at Nicholas sitting beside me with so much surprise.He nodded. "Put your seatbelt on, baby."I shook my head. "I don't want to go anywhere. I want to go back."Nicholas shook his head with a frown on his forehead. "I'm sure you'll regret it.""Then tell me where you're taking me!" my voice rose an octave.He only raised an eyebrow and let out a long sigh. "Gallena."My eyes widened."I'll take you to Gallena's place."My heart was beating so fast with emotion that I almost fell forward as the plane began to take off. He clucked, wrapping one arm around my waist. "Put your seatbelt on." He growled.I put it on quickly. Leaning against the seat as the plane began to take off. I turned to him with a twinkle in my heart. "Do you mean it?"Nicholas nodded."Is she in Barcelona?""She's in Ibiza, I think it's a safe place f
Flashback :The hollow emptiness going on inside me didn't fix anything. It was empty and frozen. I've had many losses, and I don't know what could break me more than this one. It consumed me more than any previous loss.My baby...I haven't even had a chance to see what my baby looked like before it left me.And...Why my baby?Why wasn't it just me who died?I huddled under the thick blanket that was not familiar to my nose. A hospital bed, pillow and blanket. Which was unfamiliar because I had never experienced a hospital stay. It was excruciating, and I didn't want to come back here again. But this was still better than Mikhaelovich's death house if I could choose. It was a good thing I'd been expelled, strange because the relief seeped through me like water in a dam that was never released.I stroked my stomach, something I always did these days, even though the pain seemed to split me in two.A click came from the door behind me. I didn't need to turn around to see who had just
Two Months Later Time seemed to fly by until the church doors finally opened wide, the warning of the bride's arrival making everyone look impatiently toward the entrance. I stared at the beautiful woman in a bone-white wedding dress with a high bust. After my challenging debate with her, I finally won. Of course, with a very effective tactic: making her unable to walk with our long sex and making her surrender. And I have absolutely no regrets. She was so beautiful, gorgeous, and fabulous. My heart swelled stupidly. Like the mellow atmosphere of those cheesy romance movies she always liked, but different from those stupid movies, I liked what I felt now. Enjoying everything in every part of her. I love her. Loved her so much that I thought I would kill myself when she was in pain. That agony was behind us, and I learned my lesson. We both did. Learned to be better and accept each other. My mom said it's love and doesn't always go smoothly. All we can do is stay together and go
I looked at Gretta, who was lying on the bed.In a quiet corner of the room, the serene atmosphere inside the hospital room was only interrupted by the regular hissing of breath from the bedridden Gretta. Her face reflected profound exhaustion and sadness as if a disaster had rolled over her like an endless storm. I sat beside her with a blank look. The miscarriage had robbed us both of the glimmer of happiness they had just begun to achieve.Everything that surrounded us was messing her up, messing me up. Us.The pain split me in two. Realizing what we had lost, the cause of my own carelessness. If only I hadn't come and thrown a bomb at her, if only I hadn't brought her to my apartment, if only I hadn't abandoned her.. that fetus would still be between us. That baby.. whether a boy or a girl, would have been a testament to our feelings. I loved her, damn it. I loved her so much that jealousy about her leaving me ruled me more than my trust in her. I should have known better than
My heartbeats shattered one by one, making my chest ache.My vision blurred behind the tears and the glare of the sun on the marble floor. Once the crying started, my tears flowed like I had just opened a dam that had been closed for years. I stood in the middle of a beautiful apartment and felt nothing but cold and empty. The emptiness expanded until it threatened to eat me alive.How accurate was my belief that Nico was an addiction because this felt like the worst kind? I began to realize that it was more than that-it was love and it was heartbreak.I went to the master bathroom, turned on the shower, went inside, and cried some more. My mind was spinning with desperate thoughts of how to fix it, but it all ended on a desperate note when I thought of her cold demeanor today.Nausea rolled around in my stomach.I've been trying not to fall for him, and I've fallen so hard that I'm physically sick from his rejection. I could have laughed if I still had the energy left to cry.I got o
"What are you going to do?" Baron's hoarse voice came into my ears."Keep it." I took a breath and let it out softly. Calming the chaos inside me. "I will tell Nicholas about this, but I will wait for the right time.""If he doesn't accept it..." Baron stroked my arm. " ... you know I will always be here for you, right?"I nodded, hugging Baron tightly."He's crazy about you, Gretta. I know that. He'll accept it. He won't dump you or do anything bad to you." He said as we broke the hug. "Everyone can see it. He's just too stupid to admit his feelings."Well, I hope that's true. I nodded. "I'm waiting for him." I looked down at the bracelet on my right hand, which I never took off. "I have to do something first to give my heart to him, Baron."Because I will never let go of the past if I don't let go of it myself."Are you sure that you've disappeared from his shadow?" asked Baron.I nodded. "I'm sure," I replied. My whole heart had flown away, and I was about to move back into my froz
I saw the news and couldn't imagine what was going on in my family. I was sure my parents were cursing me and Gallena, planning what would happen to their two rebellious daughters.I was the one who ran away from my fiancé's house and was with my affair. While Gallena ran away from home pregnant. They thought we should return the favor about all that they had given us, the luxuries and stuff, the limited freedom, and the damn convenience of staying in our rooms. Ironically, that's not the same as what most parents give their kids.So, now, what do I do? Do I stay here and hassle Nicholas until I can stand on my own, which... I don't know when that will be? Because I can't possibly depend on him entirely.What are we? We were nothing other than me having sold my body for my own gain and falling in love with him while he didn't love me back. I sighed.Or could I go back to my parents' house-because it had never been my home-take my things, and then go to Baron's place? They couldn't d
My control was hanging by a thread as I listened to my men. Lorenzo also seemed intent on easing our uncle's burden.Uncle Benito and Gerald seemed to be quarreling secretly, but I was sure they were planning to overthrow me behind closed doors. Benito is a coward, and Gerald is only slightly better, but eventually, they will act. Perhaps Gerald would send his remaining legitimate son to kill me."War is inevitable," I growled. "You know that as well as I do. Don't pretend you haven't been waiting for an opportunity to spill Outfit blood again." My Underbosses nodded, and so did most of my Captains. But not Benito and Gerald.My eyes were fixed on the high ceiling of the power plant. I had chosen it at every meeting of my Captains and Underbosses over the past three years to remind them of my bloody declaration. I felt their memories needed to be refreshed.Gerald banged his fist on the table, returned my gaze to him, and swatted away Uncle Torre's calming hand. "Enough," he muttered.
Being stuck with Nicholas felt different from being stuck with Louis. I realized this a long time ago.I couldn't even spend five seconds next to Louis; a strange and uncomfortable feeling always surrounded me when I was with him, even before he was forced to become my fiancé or before I knew all his secrets.But now, when I was with Nicholas, I had a different, disturbing feeling. It was as if all the storms were coming together, and I wanted nothing more than to be with him as long as possible, even though I knew he was in darkness and danger. His name is a disaster; you must escape him if you do not want to be destroyed.But here I am, and so is he. Instead of a disaster, he became one of the people who saved me from the real disaster. He's the one by my side, caring for me more than everyone who should do it for me. For the first time, I know what it feels like to be truly loved, although I don't know if he feels the same way about me.I found him in the kitchen after I'd had enou