"Try this on," the smile didn't fade from Cammelia Jamesson's face, she held out a long light blue dress that I had no idea what kind it was, but it was pretty and graceful. I nodded, smiled a little and took it from her hand before walking into the dressing room. The dress was pretty on my body, but considering what this outfit was for.. I didn't have a speck of energy in my body.Eating was still completely absent from my daily agenda-something I heard Mama complaining to Cammelia Jamesson on the phone as I walked past her yesterday, the flowery chiffon wrap dress clinging to my ever-shrinking body. At this point, my stomach had given up and stopped growling altogether.This morning, I forced myself to steal a few bites of bread when everyone was busy making their points with my engagement party, but it was barely enough to calm my shrinking gut. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was hoping I'd fainted or caused enough damage to be rushed to the hospital where perhaps my family w
He pulled my hips sharply and slammed into me with one hard thrust. I arched with a cry as the pain shot through me. Fuck. I breathed in quickly through my nose, my eyes closed. "Oh shit," I gasped when I could speak again. This was much worse than I thought. A sly grin twisted his lips, and I wanted nothing more than to wipe it off his face. Nicholas braced himself in her arms, bringing us closer. I tensed at the movement he caused. A jolt of something because I couldn't count how long we had been out of touch. Nicholas doesn't take his eyes off me. They were dark and possessive, and seemed to stare right through me. If it didn't feel like defeat, I would have looked away. He pulled out slowly before sliding back in and I tensed with the pain of his hardness. My body is a terrible traitor. At least, this time I managed to hold my breath. Nicholas moved slowly and carefully, his muscles tightening with each thrust.I hated that he was considerate. I hated when he was gentle with m
The disaster started on a black night. Starless night, soulless, shineless. The kind of night that serves as an ominous backdrop in folklore. I peeked at the crashing waves fighting with the large spiky rocks that formed the cliffs. My feet shook on the edge as bloody images rolled through my mind with the destructive power of a hurricane. Playback occurs in full, distracting motion. Engines revving, cars sliding, and finally, haunting metal scrapes against rocks and splashes in deadly water. There are no cars now, no people in them, no unrepentant souls scattered into the air. It only slams the angry waves and the ferocity of solid rock. Still, I didn't dare blink. I didn't blink then either. I just stared and stared, then screamed like a haunted mythical creature. However, he did not hear me. A man whose body and soul are no longer with us. The man who struggled both mentally and emotionally but still managed to be there for me. A sudden chill ran down my spine, and I
I was still in the same crocodile hole, not knowing if if I came out I would find light or a predatory animal that would pull me up and eat me. I leaned my back on the chair, looking at Louis who was busy talking to someone over the phone. I pressed my fingers on the material of the dress above my thighs with annoyance and anger that had recently settled in my chest. Staring at someone who has now become the source of it all. Things were getting complicated because of it. "Do you want anything else?" He asked me softly. Probably because he was already looking at me who was playing with my food rather than putting it in my mouth. I shook my head, and in the end I pulled the steak into my mouth. It was bitter in my mouth, no flavor whatsoever. I couldn't taste anything. Louis sighed, "I've been trying to do something for you. I worked hard here for you," His voice was soft but full of firmness and a desire for me to understand. "Can't you see it?""It's very clear," I replied. "You
Pascha Mikhaelovich? My heart stopped. a. k a. my brother? I breathed heavily, waiting for my wits to work again because I was sure that none of my family was involved with the Russian mafia. "Pascha Mikhaelovich..." Another man hummed, "That brutal man with an empty brain?"Another chuckled, "Russian... isn't that what they always do?""Yes. That's why Brandon Mikhaelovich always gets into trouble for it." I stepped back in surprise, "His kids I thought could always cause a scene.""The twins too?""One can't be restrained, the other is too strict on rules.""Which one drove your brother crazy?""Gretta Mikhaelovich."My foot stumbled backward, something big and hard, and I screamed as I fell backward, gripping the railing for balance so I wouldn't fall flat on my face. Someone. That's what made me trip. And he was lying at the bottom of the stairs. No kidding. He was on the carpet, face down. When I accidentally hit him, he grumbled, "Can't anyone sleep in this fucking hou
He turned to go and did what he promised.And even though I don't really care about Lorenzo or Reagan, I don't want anyone's blood on my conscience.Besides, this is what she looked like when her control was seized. This was the first time I saw him in an abnormal state and knowing that I was the reason made me feel very strong.He was cold, calculating, not allowing any emotions inside his armor, but he gave me this power over him.Unintentionally, but the power was there and I wanted it."Nicholas, wait," I whisper before I can think properly about my words.He tilts his head towards me with his hand on the doorknob.I pat his mattress. "Let's go back to sleep."He narrowed his eyes. "What are you playing now?""Nothing, I just want to sleep.""You're easier to read than a newspaper, and you want me to believe that you have no ulterior motive behind this unusual request of yours?""No," I said it, and I believed it too. "Please."He watched me for a moment, his body still facing the
My chest defied something uncertain as I stared at the building before me. Nicholas's casino. The only one that looked so classic in the middle of the small town of Albany.Something was clawing at my spine slowly, crawling and surrounding me with fear. The bright light was so hot that it burned away painfully. My falseness formed with a calmness on my face as Nicholas' eyes tracked me. Searching to see if he'd managed to make me falter again with all the things he'd shown me.He did because they were all things that were far from what I could have guessed. Last but not least was my family's close ties to the Bratva; although he didn't want to explain it, I could tell it was true.But I wouldn't let him know that he succeeded; it would make him even more arrogant, even more able to play me at his fingertips.We walked into a large casino, one of the flashier ones in the small town of Albany. Didn't think even he could poison this small town with all his darkness, but that's business,
This was entirely new for me. I never knew that they knew each other, and something struck my nerves. And seeing them talking seriously and sitting in a corner made me suspicious.I learned so well that Tristan Volkov hated my family and me. Well aware that he would do everything he could to make us pay for the lives of his brother and his cousin. I was perfectly aware that he was planning something for Pascha, my father, and me. But I didn't know that he could bring Louis Jamesson, who was already officially my fiancé. Even though I didn't want Louis, I didn't like the idea of Tristan dragging Louis into our problems, which he was far from. I didn't want anyone to hurt a completely innocent man.But maybe it was just my mind. It could just be a coincidence that they knew each other because of business and came here for business. It's not what I'm afraid of now.My eyes tracked them; I was still standing in the shadows while squeezing the mineral water bottle in my right hand. I didn
Nicholas really took me away. It was a long trip because we were on a plane, and I only found out when the pilot told me where we were going."Spain?" I asked, looking at Nicholas sitting beside me with so much surprise.He nodded. "Put your seatbelt on, baby."I shook my head. "I don't want to go anywhere. I want to go back."Nicholas shook his head with a frown on his forehead. "I'm sure you'll regret it.""Then tell me where you're taking me!" my voice rose an octave.He only raised an eyebrow and let out a long sigh. "Gallena."My eyes widened."I'll take you to Gallena's place."My heart was beating so fast with emotion that I almost fell forward as the plane began to take off. He clucked, wrapping one arm around my waist. "Put your seatbelt on." He growled.I put it on quickly. Leaning against the seat as the plane began to take off. I turned to him with a twinkle in my heart. "Do you mean it?"Nicholas nodded."Is she in Barcelona?""She's in Ibiza, I think it's a safe place f
Flashback :The hollow emptiness going on inside me didn't fix anything. It was empty and frozen. I've had many losses, and I don't know what could break me more than this one. It consumed me more than any previous loss.My baby...I haven't even had a chance to see what my baby looked like before it left me.And...Why my baby?Why wasn't it just me who died?I huddled under the thick blanket that was not familiar to my nose. A hospital bed, pillow and blanket. Which was unfamiliar because I had never experienced a hospital stay. It was excruciating, and I didn't want to come back here again. But this was still better than Mikhaelovich's death house if I could choose. It was a good thing I'd been expelled, strange because the relief seeped through me like water in a dam that was never released.I stroked my stomach, something I always did these days, even though the pain seemed to split me in two.A click came from the door behind me. I didn't need to turn around to see who had just
Two Months Later Time seemed to fly by until the church doors finally opened wide, the warning of the bride's arrival making everyone look impatiently toward the entrance. I stared at the beautiful woman in a bone-white wedding dress with a high bust. After my challenging debate with her, I finally won. Of course, with a very effective tactic: making her unable to walk with our long sex and making her surrender. And I have absolutely no regrets. She was so beautiful, gorgeous, and fabulous. My heart swelled stupidly. Like the mellow atmosphere of those cheesy romance movies she always liked, but different from those stupid movies, I liked what I felt now. Enjoying everything in every part of her. I love her. Loved her so much that I thought I would kill myself when she was in pain. That agony was behind us, and I learned my lesson. We both did. Learned to be better and accept each other. My mom said it's love and doesn't always go smoothly. All we can do is stay together and go
I looked at Gretta, who was lying on the bed.In a quiet corner of the room, the serene atmosphere inside the hospital room was only interrupted by the regular hissing of breath from the bedridden Gretta. Her face reflected profound exhaustion and sadness as if a disaster had rolled over her like an endless storm. I sat beside her with a blank look. The miscarriage had robbed us both of the glimmer of happiness they had just begun to achieve.Everything that surrounded us was messing her up, messing me up. Us.The pain split me in two. Realizing what we had lost, the cause of my own carelessness. If only I hadn't come and thrown a bomb at her, if only I hadn't brought her to my apartment, if only I hadn't abandoned her.. that fetus would still be between us. That baby.. whether a boy or a girl, would have been a testament to our feelings. I loved her, damn it. I loved her so much that jealousy about her leaving me ruled me more than my trust in her. I should have known better than
My heartbeats shattered one by one, making my chest ache.My vision blurred behind the tears and the glare of the sun on the marble floor. Once the crying started, my tears flowed like I had just opened a dam that had been closed for years. I stood in the middle of a beautiful apartment and felt nothing but cold and empty. The emptiness expanded until it threatened to eat me alive.How accurate was my belief that Nico was an addiction because this felt like the worst kind? I began to realize that it was more than that-it was love and it was heartbreak.I went to the master bathroom, turned on the shower, went inside, and cried some more. My mind was spinning with desperate thoughts of how to fix it, but it all ended on a desperate note when I thought of her cold demeanor today.Nausea rolled around in my stomach.I've been trying not to fall for him, and I've fallen so hard that I'm physically sick from his rejection. I could have laughed if I still had the energy left to cry.I got o
"What are you going to do?" Baron's hoarse voice came into my ears."Keep it." I took a breath and let it out softly. Calming the chaos inside me. "I will tell Nicholas about this, but I will wait for the right time.""If he doesn't accept it..." Baron stroked my arm. " ... you know I will always be here for you, right?"I nodded, hugging Baron tightly."He's crazy about you, Gretta. I know that. He'll accept it. He won't dump you or do anything bad to you." He said as we broke the hug. "Everyone can see it. He's just too stupid to admit his feelings."Well, I hope that's true. I nodded. "I'm waiting for him." I looked down at the bracelet on my right hand, which I never took off. "I have to do something first to give my heart to him, Baron."Because I will never let go of the past if I don't let go of it myself."Are you sure that you've disappeared from his shadow?" asked Baron.I nodded. "I'm sure," I replied. My whole heart had flown away, and I was about to move back into my froz
I saw the news and couldn't imagine what was going on in my family. I was sure my parents were cursing me and Gallena, planning what would happen to their two rebellious daughters.I was the one who ran away from my fiancé's house and was with my affair. While Gallena ran away from home pregnant. They thought we should return the favor about all that they had given us, the luxuries and stuff, the limited freedom, and the damn convenience of staying in our rooms. Ironically, that's not the same as what most parents give their kids.So, now, what do I do? Do I stay here and hassle Nicholas until I can stand on my own, which... I don't know when that will be? Because I can't possibly depend on him entirely.What are we? We were nothing other than me having sold my body for my own gain and falling in love with him while he didn't love me back. I sighed.Or could I go back to my parents' house-because it had never been my home-take my things, and then go to Baron's place? They couldn't d
My control was hanging by a thread as I listened to my men. Lorenzo also seemed intent on easing our uncle's burden.Uncle Benito and Gerald seemed to be quarreling secretly, but I was sure they were planning to overthrow me behind closed doors. Benito is a coward, and Gerald is only slightly better, but eventually, they will act. Perhaps Gerald would send his remaining legitimate son to kill me."War is inevitable," I growled. "You know that as well as I do. Don't pretend you haven't been waiting for an opportunity to spill Outfit blood again." My Underbosses nodded, and so did most of my Captains. But not Benito and Gerald.My eyes were fixed on the high ceiling of the power plant. I had chosen it at every meeting of my Captains and Underbosses over the past three years to remind them of my bloody declaration. I felt their memories needed to be refreshed.Gerald banged his fist on the table, returned my gaze to him, and swatted away Uncle Torre's calming hand. "Enough," he muttered.
Being stuck with Nicholas felt different from being stuck with Louis. I realized this a long time ago.I couldn't even spend five seconds next to Louis; a strange and uncomfortable feeling always surrounded me when I was with him, even before he was forced to become my fiancé or before I knew all his secrets.But now, when I was with Nicholas, I had a different, disturbing feeling. It was as if all the storms were coming together, and I wanted nothing more than to be with him as long as possible, even though I knew he was in darkness and danger. His name is a disaster; you must escape him if you do not want to be destroyed.But here I am, and so is he. Instead of a disaster, he became one of the people who saved me from the real disaster. He's the one by my side, caring for me more than everyone who should do it for me. For the first time, I know what it feels like to be truly loved, although I don't know if he feels the same way about me.I found him in the kitchen after I'd had enou