04

QUIVA

"I didn't mean to keep it from you."

"But you never meant to tell me either."

"Ayokong magalit ka. And I don't want you to overthink."

"Am I really overthinking? Or was it the truth?"

"Baby,"

"Huwag mo kong tawaging baby. Kung hindi pa ako pumunta sa office mo hindi ko malalaman na nagkikita kayo."

"Hindi ko alam na magkikita muli kami. And I swear it's only about business. Nothing more. I wouldn't meet and talk to her if not for it."

"Then don't make any business with her. Is that hard to do?"

"It's not hard, but it's not wise. Her family's been doing business with us since then. I hope you understand."

"I don't want to understand."

Tumalikod ako at pumasok na sa aming kwarto. Magpapalit muna ako ng damit. Naiirita ako lalo sa fit na dress na ito. Napaisip ako sa kaniyang sinambit. Could it be the reason why she was once her fiancée because of their family’s businesses? Could it be that she was the first before it was Jane? Sana. Sana nga ay ganoon.

Sa paglabas ko mula sa aming kwarto ay nadatnan ko nalang sa kusina ang mama niya. Nagulat ako. Hindi ko alam na darating ang mama niya ngayon. Hindi namin napagplanuha na tuturuan niya akong magluto today. Napatingin tuloy ako kay Nicholas kahit ayoko muna sana siyang tignan dahil galit pa ako sa kaniya.

Nakita ako ng mama niya at agad na b****o sa akin. May dala siyang pagkain na ngayon ay inahanda niya sa mesa. Lumapit sa akin si Nicholas. "I didn't know she's coming." bulong niya. Tumango lang ako at nilagpasan siya. Umupo sa harap ng mesa. Tumulong akong buksan ang lunch boxes na may iba't ibang putahe. Ang ilan ay prutas ang laman.

"I apologize for coming unannounced."

"Okay lang po." Mahinang sambit ko.

"Buti nalang ay nandito kayong dalawa. Dinamihan ko na ang niluto ko because I thought of visiting you two. Kumain na ba kayo?" Umiling lang ako. Umupo sa tabi ko si Nicholas. "Good. I came at the right time then."

No. Hindi po. This isn't the right time.

Si Nicholas ang kumuha ng plato. Una niya akong binigyan. Nauna naman akong sumandok ng aking kakainin. He would then serve me the other dishes. Tahimik lang ako. Kung magkaayos kami, pagsasandok ko din siya ng pagkain but now I am upset with him, bahala na siyang kumuha sa pagkain niya. Tahimik kaming kumain. Pansin ko ang tingin sa amin ng mama niya. And by the way she stares, I think she knows.

Sa kalagitnaan ng aming pagkain ay napansin niya ang aking niluto sa may stove. I forgot to keep it. I forgot about it. Gusto ko nalang magpalamon sa lupa nang kumuha siya doon at nilapag sa hapagkainan.

"Taste good, baby." ani Nicholas matapos tikman iyon. Alam kong nambobola lang siya. Hindi naman siya mukhang nasarapan. His mothers reaction is different from his.

"You're not supposed to get to eat it." I said coldly and low. But I think she still heard it. Her lips pursed into a thin line and her eyebrows moved, but she doesn't look foul about it. Parang nangingiti nga siya, e.

Nang maubos kona ang aking pagkain ay mabilis niyang tinapos ang kaniya at agad na uminom. Tumayo mula sa kaniyang upuan at lumapit sa akin. "Nicholas ikaw na ang bahala diyan. Quiva and I will check something in the living room." Aniya at hinila ako paalis doon. Kinabahan ako.

"I noticed there's a dispute between you and Nicholas. Am I seeing right, dear?" Tanong niya, hawak parin ako sa braso. Lumunok ako. Dapat yata ay nagpanggap akong ok ang kami ni Nicholas. Pero hinde! Si Nicholas ang may kasalanan. I shouldn't hide the fact that we are not ok. Siya itong dapat kabahan.

Muli akong lumunok ng aking laway bago tumingin sa kaniya ng deretso. She's his mother. She might know. Kahit kabado ay nagtanong ako. "Was it true, that he had a fiancee before Jane?"

Her hold on me loosened. The way she blinked, and the way she looked at me, and how she step back once was enough of an answer to me. It was true.

Tangina. Mas lalong dumagdag ang sakit ngayong nalaman kong pati ang mama niya ay may alam doon at hindi man lang sinabi sa akin. Inalis ko ang tingin sa kaniya dahil baka matignan ko siya ng masama. My bitch mode turns on when I'm angry.

"It's true. He had one before Jane, before you. You should talk about it with him." She smiled faintly at me.

Hindi ako umimik. Pakiramdam ko ay pinagtaksilan ako. Alam kong si Nicholas dapat ang nagsabi sa akin kaya siguro kahit alam niya ay hindi niya sinabi sa akin. But still... she should've told him to tell me or gave me a little info about it para agad akong nagtanong kay Nicholas.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang kwento kaya ayoko munang magdamdam ng todo sa kaniya.

"I will leave you two alone. Don't let your emotion get to you. You can't be stress dear." She said worriedly. I only nod. "Nicholas, walk me to the door." She said sternly right when Nicholas came out from the kitchen.

Pinanood ko silang papaalis. Kumapit siya sa braso ni Nicholas, at may binulong. "You shouldn't make your pregnant wife upset. Fix that quickly."

"Yes mom." Ang sagot lang ni Nicholas ang malinaw sa akin. Sumulyap sa akin si Nicholas. I want to ask him what she said after she left, but I remembered I am angry at him.

"Baby let's talk."

"We will not talk if you're not going to tell me everything I need to know. Everything I have the right to know."

"I'm going to tell you everything. Her name is Emily. And yes, she was once my fiancee."

"When was I suppose to hear about her? Or was I not suppose to know? Did you ever plan on telling me?"

"I have. I have always been. I know you'll react this way, I know it will hurt you that's why I didn't want to tell you yet because I don't want you to be stressed while you're pregnant with our baby."

"You could've told me. You had all the time."

"I've forgotten about her. It was you and the thing about our past arrange marriage that was all in my mind. She was in the past. It was you that matters to me. My future with you that is now our present. You are my present. I didn't think of my time with her ever again not until now, that it comes to this."

"I told you about Wayne. You could have done the same."

"I didn't want you to know this way."

"Hindi sana kung sinabi mo na sa akin noon pa."

"I know. You're right. It is my fault you found out this way. And I will make up for it. Baby, I'm sorry."

"Who is she?" Her name is Emily, but who was she in your life Nicholas? Huminga siya ng malalim, at pinakatitigan ako bago sinabing, "She proposed to me." Nagulat ako. "What?!"

"She proposed to me in front of a crowd in London."

I was dumbfounded. He guided me to sit on the couch. And held my hand. Hindi pa nga nagsisink in sa akin na si Emily ang nagpropose, tapos ngayon ay nalaman kong sa harapan ng maraming tao niya ginawa. Hindi ko naiimagine ang sarili kong gawin iyon. Maybe I can do the proposing part, I would propose to Nicholas if he wouldn't. But not in front of many people. Kaya ko sigurong gawin in private, not in public.

"We met as classmates back in New York. I lived there before." Nakwento na niya sa akin before but he left out the part about Emily. "We had a serious relationship. I wasn't into hook ups, flings or one night stand. We were in a serious relationship but I never thought of marrying her. I wasn't that serious with her. And I know back then I was already set to marry someone. I only said yes to her because I didn't want to embarrass her. I didn't want to be a jerk. It was also our second anniversary that day."

That was still a jerk move. You said yes when you didn't mean it. You didn't mean to marry her. I like that but yeah, that's still being a jerk. But its okay.

They were in a serious relationship for two years. That kind of worries me. Kahit pa sinabi niyang hindi niya naman siya talaga gustong pakasalan. Still, they were in a serious relationship. Kami nag-umpisa kami sa bawal na relasyon.

"But I know, I couldn’t avoid that forever. Not after a month, I broke off the engagement. I told her the truth."

So they were only engaged for less than a month? The way she introduced herself I thought they almost got married. Akala ko matagal silang engaged. Kung makapagmalaki akala mo naman ginusto talaga siyang pakasalan ni Nicholas, siya pala itong nagpropose.

“I broke up with her the same day. That was like five or four years ago. I don't remember exactly." Pinakatitigan niya ako sa mata at hinawakan ang aking mga kamay. Paminsan-minsang pinipisil ako doon.

"It never crossed my mind that I will marry her someday. My heart never felt that way towards her, towards anyone. And I didn't have the will to break my parents plan for me that time. I didn't want to disobey my fathers order. Not anymore after I fell for you."

"Baby, you were the only one I love deeply. The only girl I wanted so bad. That I was willing to go extra miles, forget all the boundaries, the rules, my fathers order, everything. Just to be with you."

"Kalle..."

"Ikaw lang ang tangi kong gustong pakasalan. Pakakasalan ulit kita, kung papayagan mo ako. Kahit ilang beses, kahit saan." Sambit niya sa malalim niyang boses. Ako na marupok sobrang kinilig. Nagtagalog pa ang bwisit. Umirap ako kunwari. "Tss!" Taena. Paano pigilan ngumiti kapag kinikilig?

"Are you still mad at me?" Malamyos niyang tanong. Hindi ako makatingin ng deretso sa gwapo niyang mukha. Lalo akong rumurupok.

"Konti." Mahinang sagot ko. Nagpapakipot para hindi halatang presidente ako ng marurupok club. Charot! Tinawanan niya ako. Alam na ng isang ito na humupa na ang galit ko sa kaniya.

"I regret not telling you sooner." I could feel his sincerity. "It doesn't matter. What's important is that you told me, and you know now that you should never keep secrets from me. Because I get really crazy when I'm angry."

Kaya dapat huwag mo akong ginagalit. Baka ikaw ang magbuntis sa ating dalawa.

"I know." Sagot niya. Kinurot ko nga. Naging tahimik kaming pareho nang haplosin niya ang aking tiyan. Pinanood ko siya. Ayokong sirain ang moment pero hindi ko mapigilan magtanong, as in ngayon na.

"Why was she there? At your company?" Umangat ang tingin niya sa akin.

///♡///

Sorry kung sobrang matagal ang update ko dito. I'm really trying to get my head straight on writing. Hindi ko pa limot ang story na ito, pero medyo nawawala pa ako sa mga magiging kaganapan dito kaya hindi ako makapagsulat ng deretso. But I am trying to get back on track with this story. Sana mahintay niyo pa ako dito.