Chapter 11 - Claire

I cannot believe I was almost late for work. I am always the first one in and the last one leaving. But after my night with Rawls, I slept so good. The weight of thinking I had messed up with him that night was lifted. Now what was before me was when I will get to see him again. I felt like I was about to so something wrong because we would have to sneak around. I have never lied to my parents but, I’m going to have to in order to find time to see Rawls.

As I walked into the office, my heart was racing. The smell of coffee and printer ink filled my nose, and I tried to ignore the awkward glances from my colleagues. Thelma’s eyes widened when she saw me, and she immediately knew that something was up. She’s the office mom, the one who notices when someone’s wearing a new pair of shoes or when someone’s had their hair done. But she wasn’t just looking at me; she was studying me, like she could see right through my shirt to my racing heart.

Her curiosity grew as I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. It was like a secret I desperately wanted to share but knew I couldn’t. Thelma approached my desk and placed a warm cup of coffee in front of me. “You look like you’ve just won the lottery, Claire. Did something good happen last night?” she asked with a knowing smile.

Her question made me freeze mid-step, my cheeks flushing hotter than the coffee in my hand. "Just had a good night's sleep," I mumbled, hoping my voice didn't betray the lie.

Thelma's gaze lingered, her eyes narrowing slightly as she studied my face. She knew me like an open book, and she had a knack for spotting the slightest shift in my mood. "I've seen that look before. Did you finally go out with what's-his-face from benefits?"

I stumbled over my words, trying to maintain a casual tone. "Oh, him? No, no. I just went for a nice walk, that's all."

Thelma didn't buy it. She leaned back in her chair, her fingers tapping a rhythm on her desk. "A walk, huh? And what time was this 'walk'?"

My mind raced. "Uh, just after dinner," I figured that made sense, hoping she wouldn't push further.

Thelma's eyebrows shot up. "Dinner? That's a late walk. Did you see any fireflies?" She was messing with me now. I can tell by the look on her face she is not believing one word that I am saying.

"Just a couple," I said, playing along. "It was pretty peaceful out."

Thelma's smile grew wider, and she leaned in closer. "Well, good for you," she said, her voice dropping to a whisper. "But you know, if you're going to be gallivanting around at all hours, you might want to invest in some makeup to cover those dark circles."

Her words hit me like a splash of cold water. Makeup? Dark circles? I hadn't even thought about that. I've never been good at lying. My mind raced as I tried to come up with a reasonable explanation for my lack of sleep. "Thanks," I said, trying to sound nonchalant.

"I'll keep that in mind."

The day dragged on, and I couldn't focus on the simple tasks in front of me. The words and figures on the forms were blurring together as my thoughts kept drifting back to Rawls. His smell, his touch, his laugh. It was all I could think about. I found myself smiling at random moments, lost in thought, until the office clock finally ticked closer to five.

When I finally shut my computer down, I felt like I had been given a reprieve from a life sentence. I practically sprinted to my car, eager to get home and maybe catch a glimpse of him. The drive home was a blur as my heart raced with excitement. As I pulled up to the house, I saw him leaning against the mailbox, waiting for me. He pushed off the post and strolled over, his easy confidence making me feel like I was melting into the driver's seat.

My stomach twisted into knots as he opened the door and slid in. "Hey, you," he said, flashing me a grin that made my heart skip a beat. I couldn't help but look around, checking to make sure no neighbors or passing cars had spotted us. The last thing I needed was for someone to catch us and spread rumors.

"What's wrong?" he asked, noticing my tension. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I lied, trying to force a smile. "Just had a long day."

"Claire, baby, don't lie to me. I have known you too long not to be able to notice when you are not telling the truth." I should have known that I couldn't lie to him. I just didn't want him to think that I was just being immature by being so nervous.

Rawls reached out and took my hand, his thumb brushing over my knuckles gently. "Look, if you don't want to do this, we can stop. But if we do this, we do it right. We're adults, we can handle it." His words were reassuring, but the fear didn't disappear. It grew stronger like a hurricanebrewing inside of me.

I took a deep breath and nodded. "Let's go." We drove to the park where we had our first kiss. It was secluded and quiet, a perfect place for our secret meetings.

"Maybe I need to text my parents to let them know I am working late. I hate to lie to them, but I don't want them to worry about me."

"Claire, that is all taken care of." I was confused as to what he meant. Had he gone to my parents and told him about us. I was almost having a panic attack just thinking about it.

"Rawls, what did you do? My parents are going to kill me. I don't...." He took my hand and that calmed me down some, but I am still terrified.

"I talked to your mom yesterday at lunch. I told her about the problems I was having with Evie, and she recommended having you talk to her to see if you could get through to her. I texted your mom before you got home that I was going to meet up with you so we could talk about you helping me out."

My eyes widened in shock. "Rawls, you talked to my mom about us?" I couldn't believe it. The thought of him mentioning me to my mother in any context was surreal.

"I didn't say anything about us. I do need you to talk to Evie, but also this was the perfect way for us to spend some time alone."

My heart was racing as we walked into the quiet park, hand in hand. The rustling leaves whispered our secrets as we found a bench to sit on. The coolness of the metal sent shivers down my spine, but I was already hot from the nervousness. I couldn't believe he had talked to my mom about seeing me and she didn't suspect a thing.

Rawls sat down next to me and pulled me closer, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. "You, okay?" He was always so in tune with me, it was like he could feel my fear radiating off of me.

"Yeah," I lied again. "Just nervous."

Rawls chuckled, his breath warm against my ear. "You don't have to be nervous with me."

But I was. Not just because of the secrecy, but because of what we were about to do. We had been friends for so long, and now we were crossing a line that could never be uncrossed. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart.

Rawls leaned in, and his lips met mine in a kiss so soft and gentle that it seemed to carry all the weight of our unspoken feelings. His hand caressed my cheek, and I closed my eyes, letting the warmth of his touch spread through my body. It was like we had been waiting for this moment for an eternity. Our kiss grew more intense, and I felt my body responding to his touch in ways it never had before.

My heart was pounding in my chest as his hand slid down my arm, his fingertips tracing the sensitive skin on the inside of my wrist, sending waves of pleasure through me. His other hand rested on my waist, pulling me closer as our kiss grew deeper, hungrier. The need to be closer to him was overwhelming, and I found myself leaning into him, my body aching for his.

Rawls felt my response, and for a moment, I thought he might give in to the passion building between us. But then, gently, he pulled back, his eyes searching mine. "Claire," he whispered, his voice hoarse with desire. "I want this to be special. Our first time should be something we both remember forever."

I nodded, biting my lower lip. I understood what he was saying, but the need was too strong to be denied. "But, I want you," I murmured, my voice trembling.

Rawls took a deep breath and kissed me again, his hand sliding down to rest on my thigh. His touch was electric, sending bolts of desire through me. But he remained in control, his kisses gentle and lingering, as if savoring every moment. "I know," he said, his voice low and calming. "And I want you too. More than anything. But let's wait. Let's make sure it's perfect."

Reluctantly, I agreed. We sat there for a few more minutes, kissing and holding each other, until the chilly evening air started to bite through our clothes. We stood up, our breath misting in the cool air, and he took my hand again as we started to walk back to the car. "So, you'll talk to Evie?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah," I nodded, trying to focus on the task ahead rather than the emotional whirlwind we had just unleashed. "When do you want me to?"

Rawls looked thoughtful. "How about next Friday?" he suggested. "Your mom is planning on inviting us to dinner.. Maybe you could talk to her after we eat."

My stomach clenched. Talking to Evie about her behavior was going to be tough, but it had to be done. "Okay," I agreed, my voice small. "But what do I say to her?"

Rawls squeezed my hand. "Just tell her the truth. Tell her she's acting out and that you're worried about her. Maybe it'll make a difference."

Thinking about the conversation with Evie filled me with dread. She had always been a wild one, but ever since she came back from college, she had been on another level. I didn't recognize the person she had become. The Evie I knew was fun-loving and carefree, but she had returned with a hardened edge, a newfound recklessness that had everyone on their toes.

"I will do it for you, Rawls. I will do anything for you.' We kissed each other quickly before we pulled into my driveway. It hurt to see him walk towards his house. I wanted to go with him. But as I promised. I would be patient.