106. Hopelessness- Jacob -.Almost a month has already passed and my feelings about Natalie have changed from anger to confusion to utter disappointment and finally I am creeping towards anguish. With each day passing, my hope is fading away.I probably hurt her way too much. This is why she didn’t contact me.I am confused, If I should give up too?…..That day when I realized I had made a mistake, I went to see her.“She doesn’t want to see you,” her father had told me.I didn’t believe him for a second. I knew she must be angry, because I remembered how I had lashed out at her. I felt guilty and ashamed. I ended up doing exactly what Ira had warned me against. I didn’t trust her and used harsh words.“Let me talk to her once. There is some misunderstanding….” I plead.He shaked his head and tried to close the door on my face.I blocked the door and called her out in desperation, “Natalie!”I knew her father never liked me, but in that moment I saw how much he hated me. He pushed
107. Over - Jacob -.When I pull over in Ira’s building’s parking lot, I don’t call her. I plan to trespass because I must see her today. I am tired of trying with no results. After waiting barely a few minutes, I see some kids entering and I tag along with them.That was easy..I just hope she is at home. I rush to her apartment and knock on her door. “Great! I cannot even fight in peace!” her voice bellows behind the door and I stiffen.Someone is not in a good mood. I am not sure how she will react to me entering her building like this.“Well, how about you don’t fight me at all?” A guy retorts as Ira opens the door.She squints her angry eyes at me and says, “You don’t understand when someone is avoiding you, right?”“I guess not!” I say and walk inside as she gives me passage into her apartment.“Liam!” I nod at him.“Jacob!” He nods back and says, “I will go out now. It’s useless to talk to her.”“Well, I think it’s useless to talk to you!” Ira snaps back at him as he leaves t
108. Don’t hate me- Natalie -.Coach is throwing a lunch party today. He asked me to wear something nice, which was odd, but I wore a dress anyway.Nobody knows, it’s my birthday, and I am feeling a little odd. I cannot help but think about Jacob’s birthday, which is after a week.“Wow, I am older than you.” I grinned when he told me.“A week!” he grumbled, “that doesn’t even count!”I still miss him, but I don’t dare to check his profile anymore. Last time I checked his profile, he was with Riley at some party. His arm around her shoulder. I don’t want to know if they are really dating or if it was just a random outing.It shouldn’t matter to me. Still, I cannot help but feel a strange bitterness towards Riley.I pull out my phone and call my teammates again. First Ashley, then Nikki. None of them pick up. I lock my room and walk towards theirs to see them. But their room is locked.Damn, they left already.“Natalie!” I turn and see Lucas walking towards me.“You are late!” He says
109. Jacket- Jacob -“No. We wouldn’t be able to make it. Please cancel it.” I tell the representative on the phone while pinching my brows in frustration.Such a perfect start of the day…“Alright. I have to inform you, Cancellations made without 24 hours’ notice are subject to a 50 percent cancellation fee.”I roll my eyes.Yeah, I am damn rich.Take my money.“No problem.” I tell her.“Alright It’s done.” She says in a chirpy voice, ”Please wish Ms. Natalie a very Happy birthday from our side. I hope you guys have a wonderful day.”“Yea.. Sure,” I say and cut the call.I had totally forgotten about this wooden campsite booking. Sorry grandma... Looks like I wasted some of your money.I go downstairs and see mom cooking something experimental. She doesn’t share dishes with Mrs. Relish anymore. I feel bad about it. Dad is usually too busy with work, so it was a pleasant distraction for mom.“June will go to school with you today.” I nod and she adds, “It’s a little chilly outside. T
110. Confession - Jacob - . ‘I hope I have already told you everything… If not, please have patience while you read it…’ I stand there holding the envelope, trying to process if she really left me a letter. “What happened?” Riley asks me and glances at the envelope. “What can I do for you guys?” The shop attendant asks us. “I… I will wait for you in the car.” I tell her, and she nods quickly. …… By the time I get inside the car, my heart is beating so fast I might have a fucking stoke. What has she written in it? When did she write it? How long has it been sitting in this jacket? I impatiently tear the envelope and pull out the letter she wrote for me. Before even reading it, I feel like crying. It’s like after so long I finally have got to hold her. I miss her terribly. Every single day. Guilt doesn’t make my days easy, either. I am feeling anxious and hopeful at the same time. I know she wrote it before our breakup, but still somehow I feel this is a sign… A G
111. Sorry- Jacob -.She takes me through a labyrinth of passages, and eventually we are out of the building. It’s a backyard hidden away in a corner. Definitely not easy to access. There are many students around. It looks like a party or get together.”She came here half an hour ago. She must be here somewhere...”“Thanks,” I say.“I hope you are indeed her boyfriend…” she says, eyeing me again.“If you harass her or something… We won’t be good to you, pretty boy. So be civil with her.” She warns and takes off with her friends.I want to roll
112. Future - Natalie - . I lay with my head on his chest, breathing heavily. I am still trying to process the fact that he came here for me. He draws circles on my shoulder and says, ”I think we should talk before we start fucking again.” It makes me giggle and I hide my face in his chest. He chuckles and hugs me tight. It’s been more than two hours… and we kissed and kissed and kissed. And of course fucked… and made love. “Happy Birthday Natalie…” He says, finally. I glance at the clock. It’s almost 12. “You remember…” I thought maybe he forgot. “Of course I do…” He says softly. “You have no idea how miserable I was this morning…” “Me too,” I say quietly. “I was damn angry, but I missed you…” I take a pause, wondering if I should admit. “This is why… I asked dad to change my number.” “I figured that much…” “I didn’t trust myself to keep my distance from you.” I tell him. He breathes heavily. “You wanted to keep your distance because I hurt you too much.” He states an
- Jacob -.When I wake up, I see Natalie is not around, and I am late. I can still manage to reach home by 8:30 and leave for school after that.Damn. Another late slip.The door opens, and she comes in with a pile of clothes in her hands. “So fucking finally… someone did the laundry!” I say, amused. “Yeah…” she grins, placing the clothes on the bed.I grab her arm and yank her towards me.“Were you touching yourself?”“When?” she asks innocently.“You know when!” I say, pulling her closer.“I don’t know what you are talking about,” she says, her lips dangerously close to mine.“Yes, you do…” I grab her boob and squeeze it a little. She gasps.A knock on the door stiffens both of us.“Should I go into the bathroom?” I whisper.“No. That’s ok,” she says quietly and opens the door. A girl almost burst inside the room, but Natalie blocks her way.“Why aren’t you ready?” She asks.“uhmmm… I am going home today…” WHAT!A smile forms over my lips realizing I will get a few more days wi