ETHAN ~Regret is a useless feeling, the deed is already done~The soft ray of the sun seeped in through the curtains, disrupting my peaceful sleep on a barely perfect day. Massaging my temples, I briefly glanced at the blank space where Killan slept—but he wasn't here. I stretched with a groan and stumbled into the bathroom, almost losing my balance at the sight of a shirtless Killan washing his face. For some odd reason, I couldn't stop staring at his broad shoulders and the V shape of his firm waist. His chest was well sculpted, powerful, but my eyes kept wandering towards the slight bulge dow—“Can't stop staring?“ Killan teased, turning to stare at me, his back leaning against the ceramic sink. “I wasn't staring.“ “Which isn't true.“ His lips tilted into a cunning smirk as he stalked towards me. Standing before me, his fingers found my cheekbone, grazing it slowly, like a master caressing his favorite pet. I unconsciously leaned in, but Killan pulled away with a mischievous g
ETHAN ~He was a deathly mistake, a pleasurable sin, a deadly obsession….and soon, he'd be the death of me~Days turned into weeks. The sun barely showed up, the sky was always cloudy, gloomy and moody. Just the way I felt ever since my encounter with the stranger at the cafeteria. He held so much power that he crushed my bones with a single touch. It literally felt like my whole being was being stuffed with unquenchable flames, more painful than anything I'd ever experienced. Killan avoided the question like a plague. He avoided me like a plague. He was always on the edge, always extra cautious—like he knew he was being followed. Standing at the front porch of my small apartment, I licked my lips, watching as Gregor's car passed right by. I'd been able to get a little cash from my shift at St. Travis—wasn't all of it, but it was a tangible amount. “Gregor.“ I called out, jogging after his crumpled car. The shit was as messed up as he was. He pulled up at his garage, his stern e
ETHAN~The lie. The truth. I had no idea what to believe anymore~“I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I feel nothing for ladies, but I still prefer tits to some flat, hard chest.” I kept chanting the words like a mantra as I strode into the cafeteria, ignoring the curious glances thrown my way.Liam waved at me from our usual corner.And there was Killan, sitting alone as usual. He avoided me throughout the whole night, like I was a mistake. He literally said it was a mistake. I chuckled dryly and stalked towards Liam.I slipped into the seat next to him, setting my meal on the round table. “I wish I had kicked him out sooner.” I exhaled. “Who?” “Killan.” “Did last night really happen?” Liam leaned closer, his curious eyes searching mine. “The message you sent, is it really true? You…”“I don't want to talk about it.““Dude, you're gay!” Liam exclaimed, eyes wide with shock. “I mean, I know you're not so into girls, so men then?““Like I explained last night, it was a mistake.““The gaze in
ETHAN~He liked black, maybe he was the devil who came to drag me back to hell~Ever since the incident at the restroom, Killan and I became…distant. We didn't talk during breakfast, didn't talk during dinner, not even at the school's cafeteria. And I hate to admit, but I missed him. A lot. The weekend would have been great with Killan around, but he'd left the apartment since noon. He kissed me. I should be angry, not him. Left with nothing to do, I kept stuffing my stomach with food and coffee. I mean, I literally found interest in nothing. Liam came by a few hours later and yelled at me like my mother for stuffing my stomach with food when there were other great things to do. Great things like fucking women. Dancing with women. Watching women glide against each other. He pushed me into a bar filled with tons of people rocking each other. “Do something wild for the first time in your life.” He whispered against my ears, grabbing a drink from one of the waiters. The loud bass pu
ETHAN ~He was the first person that made me feel alive. Shouldn't that be a problem?~Marinette looked as pale as a ghost with her red lips parted in horror. Her brown eyes were wide with shock, tears streaming down her cheeks as her soft sobs filled the space. Slowly, she took a few steps backwards before running out of the restroom. I'd expected Killian to go after her, to at least prove they had a thing together, but he dragged me out of the restroom instead, his touch burning my skin. Upon getting back to the party, the loud bass pulsing through my veins made me wince. Killan's grip was still on my wrist, tightening with every second that passed by. “Where are we going?” I asked, coming to a halt. Killan turned to stare at me, a cold glint in his eyes. “Home.” “Aren't you going to settle things with her?” “If this is about Marinette, there's nothing between us.” He said calmly, glancing at his wristwatch like he was running out of time. “I don't think you have to explain to
ETHAN ~once again, the truth and the lie, I didn't know what to believe~ Kneeling before Killan, I carefully dabbed the ointment on his bruised cheeks. There was a slight twitch in his jaw, but he didn't flinch, no visible reaction of pain. He'd ignored my question earlier, but I wasn't one to back down on a single try. Tilting his jaw with my fingers, I dabbed the ointment on the small bruise, applying a little more pressure to see him wince. He didn't. “Who did this to you?” I asked softly. Killan avoided eye contact. Instead, he kept staring at my fingers working against his face. “Just got into a little trouble.” He replied calmly, his back stiff. “It's nothing serious.” It was just a hunch, but I could tell he was lying. He did it so effortlessly these days. Staring down at the scratch running from his neck to his collarbone, I swallowed hard. I leaned forward, still on my knees, and traced his smooth skin with the ointment. This time, Killan's body tensed. His s
KILLANI still saw my blood—soaked in a white tee, dripping from a large wound over my forehead, trailing down my brows until I was a bloody mess. The loud screech of the tires still rang in my ears day and night. It was a repeat of the never ending pain that sucked all air from my lungs, made me helpless, weak. That goddamned accident that changed everything. That goddamned accident that made me meet him—Ethan. Only two things mattered in my life. Control and power. With these two things, I could control the world, bend everyone to my will, make them bow to their knees at the sound of my voice. But it was different with him. He was slowly slipping into my cracks, invading my thoughts like he owned everything in there. He was making me lose one thing I valued more than my whole life—control. What I felt for him, I couldn't explain. It wasn't just attraction, it was a burn in my whole being, a sick obsession to claim him each time I set my eyes on him. Pin him against the wall, p
ETHAN ~The rain smelled like regret, but I still stopped for him. That was my first mistake~ My life had always been shitty. I left my girlfriend's apartment after getting the shock of my whole life. I found Alicia riding my bestfriend, moaning out loudly as she yelled his name. I felt a pang of pain in my chest. Even now, it felt suffocating to accept the betrayal. I never made her moan like that. Never enjoyed being with her. Because deep down, I never wanted her at all. I tried so hard to blend with the public, to act normal, but nothing was working. I was different. And maybe it was high time I started accepting the fact that I'd never want to be with girls. The sky released the rain like it'd been holding back it's tears for a very long time. Drip. Drip. Drip. With each step I took, the constant sound kept ringing in my ears, my shoes drenched with water. My rent was almost due. My landlord was literally on my neck, but here I was, walking on the street
KILLANI still saw my blood—soaked in a white tee, dripping from a large wound over my forehead, trailing down my brows until I was a bloody mess. The loud screech of the tires still rang in my ears day and night. It was a repeat of the never ending pain that sucked all air from my lungs, made me helpless, weak. That goddamned accident that changed everything. That goddamned accident that made me meet him—Ethan. Only two things mattered in my life. Control and power. With these two things, I could control the world, bend everyone to my will, make them bow to their knees at the sound of my voice. But it was different with him. He was slowly slipping into my cracks, invading my thoughts like he owned everything in there. He was making me lose one thing I valued more than my whole life—control. What I felt for him, I couldn't explain. It wasn't just attraction, it was a burn in my whole being, a sick obsession to claim him each time I set my eyes on him. Pin him against the wall, p
ETHAN ~once again, the truth and the lie, I didn't know what to believe~ Kneeling before Killan, I carefully dabbed the ointment on his bruised cheeks. There was a slight twitch in his jaw, but he didn't flinch, no visible reaction of pain. He'd ignored my question earlier, but I wasn't one to back down on a single try. Tilting his jaw with my fingers, I dabbed the ointment on the small bruise, applying a little more pressure to see him wince. He didn't. “Who did this to you?” I asked softly. Killan avoided eye contact. Instead, he kept staring at my fingers working against his face. “Just got into a little trouble.” He replied calmly, his back stiff. “It's nothing serious.” It was just a hunch, but I could tell he was lying. He did it so effortlessly these days. Staring down at the scratch running from his neck to his collarbone, I swallowed hard. I leaned forward, still on my knees, and traced his smooth skin with the ointment. This time, Killan's body tensed. His s
ETHAN ~He was the first person that made me feel alive. Shouldn't that be a problem?~Marinette looked as pale as a ghost with her red lips parted in horror. Her brown eyes were wide with shock, tears streaming down her cheeks as her soft sobs filled the space. Slowly, she took a few steps backwards before running out of the restroom. I'd expected Killian to go after her, to at least prove they had a thing together, but he dragged me out of the restroom instead, his touch burning my skin. Upon getting back to the party, the loud bass pulsing through my veins made me wince. Killan's grip was still on my wrist, tightening with every second that passed by. “Where are we going?” I asked, coming to a halt. Killan turned to stare at me, a cold glint in his eyes. “Home.” “Aren't you going to settle things with her?” “If this is about Marinette, there's nothing between us.” He said calmly, glancing at his wristwatch like he was running out of time. “I don't think you have to explain to
ETHAN~He liked black, maybe he was the devil who came to drag me back to hell~Ever since the incident at the restroom, Killan and I became…distant. We didn't talk during breakfast, didn't talk during dinner, not even at the school's cafeteria. And I hate to admit, but I missed him. A lot. The weekend would have been great with Killan around, but he'd left the apartment since noon. He kissed me. I should be angry, not him. Left with nothing to do, I kept stuffing my stomach with food and coffee. I mean, I literally found interest in nothing. Liam came by a few hours later and yelled at me like my mother for stuffing my stomach with food when there were other great things to do. Great things like fucking women. Dancing with women. Watching women glide against each other. He pushed me into a bar filled with tons of people rocking each other. “Do something wild for the first time in your life.” He whispered against my ears, grabbing a drink from one of the waiters. The loud bass pu
ETHAN~The lie. The truth. I had no idea what to believe anymore~“I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I feel nothing for ladies, but I still prefer tits to some flat, hard chest.” I kept chanting the words like a mantra as I strode into the cafeteria, ignoring the curious glances thrown my way.Liam waved at me from our usual corner.And there was Killan, sitting alone as usual. He avoided me throughout the whole night, like I was a mistake. He literally said it was a mistake. I chuckled dryly and stalked towards Liam.I slipped into the seat next to him, setting my meal on the round table. “I wish I had kicked him out sooner.” I exhaled. “Who?” “Killan.” “Did last night really happen?” Liam leaned closer, his curious eyes searching mine. “The message you sent, is it really true? You…”“I don't want to talk about it.““Dude, you're gay!” Liam exclaimed, eyes wide with shock. “I mean, I know you're not so into girls, so men then?““Like I explained last night, it was a mistake.““The gaze in
ETHAN ~He was a deathly mistake, a pleasurable sin, a deadly obsession….and soon, he'd be the death of me~Days turned into weeks. The sun barely showed up, the sky was always cloudy, gloomy and moody. Just the way I felt ever since my encounter with the stranger at the cafeteria. He held so much power that he crushed my bones with a single touch. It literally felt like my whole being was being stuffed with unquenchable flames, more painful than anything I'd ever experienced. Killan avoided the question like a plague. He avoided me like a plague. He was always on the edge, always extra cautious—like he knew he was being followed. Standing at the front porch of my small apartment, I licked my lips, watching as Gregor's car passed right by. I'd been able to get a little cash from my shift at St. Travis—wasn't all of it, but it was a tangible amount. “Gregor.“ I called out, jogging after his crumpled car. The shit was as messed up as he was. He pulled up at his garage, his stern e
ETHAN ~Regret is a useless feeling, the deed is already done~The soft ray of the sun seeped in through the curtains, disrupting my peaceful sleep on a barely perfect day. Massaging my temples, I briefly glanced at the blank space where Killan slept—but he wasn't here. I stretched with a groan and stumbled into the bathroom, almost losing my balance at the sight of a shirtless Killan washing his face. For some odd reason, I couldn't stop staring at his broad shoulders and the V shape of his firm waist. His chest was well sculpted, powerful, but my eyes kept wandering towards the slight bulge dow—“Can't stop staring?“ Killan teased, turning to stare at me, his back leaning against the ceramic sink. “I wasn't staring.“ “Which isn't true.“ His lips tilted into a cunning smirk as he stalked towards me. Standing before me, his fingers found my cheekbone, grazing it slowly, like a master caressing his favorite pet. I unconsciously leaned in, but Killan pulled away with a mischievous g
ETHAN~He wasn't the monster I feared, he was the one I couldn't help but reach out for~Now that I thought about it, Liam was quite right. It made me remember the first time I picked up a dog in the middle of the street, my first reaction to meeting a grown up man laying on my bed like he owned it. It was odd. Too strange. What was Killan if he wasn't human? And who exactly was he? I was discharged from the hospital a few days later, and I spent most of my time doing research on the theory of a dog transforming into a man. Each writeup I came across didn't make sense, none of them did. What I saw was Lycanthropy—a man transforming into a beast, but that dog was no beast. Could it be a disguise? Of course not. It could have been a hallucination, maybe Killan sneaked into my home, perhaps science could explain whatever the shit happened . I closed up my computer and sucked in a deep breath. A chilly sense of dread crawled up my spine, making me uneasy. Lycans didn't exist, werewo
ETHAN~Sometimes, I wondered if everything he showed was just a mask, but I chose to trust him anyway~I woke up with a slight groan, my head pounding, vision blurry. Glancing around the white walled room, my eyes naturally gravitated to a tall, lean figure leaning on the wall. Clad in a black blazer and some blue jeans, he looked ruggedly handsome, breathtaking, beautiful—in a dark way. Dammit. Why was I thinking about him that way? I tried to sit upright, but my whole body ached. It literally felt like I was run down by a large truck. Swallowing hard, I squinted my eyes. “Take me home, Killan. I shouldn't be here.“ Killan's gaze pinned me in place, cutting through me like a blade as a twitch touched the corner of his lips. “You have a broken nose, a broken rib, and oh,” he stalked towards me, his eyes narrowing. “A purple eye. So, tell me MASTER, do you think you deserve to go home in this state?“ “I have to work.“ I ripped my gaze from his, focusing on something else. Those eye