Chapter 5

I never wanted to be jealous but I am when I look at families enjoying some family time at the park or at a restaurant. I miss this. I miss us being a family. I miss my family.

One thing I knew for sure is to be left alone now that I’m still alive. I can’t take it anymore. The insults thrown at me by my father and my classmates have crushed me far enough that I feel like if I don’t stop it now, I would disappear forever. I wouldn’t be able to tolerate these sufferings anymore. So, I took up the courage and voiced out.

“I’ll l-like to s-speak to you a-a-alone...“, I couldn’t stop myself from stuttering like a fool while looking down, playing with my hands to stop them from shaking.

Stupid courage wouldn’t last long. It vanished the moment I opened my mouth.

“... Of course”, the officer trailed off while squinting one of his eyes at my father but the latter scrambled up quickly.

“As y-you wish.'' my father leaned forward and kissed my forehead lightly but I couldn’t stop myself from flinching with his sudden actions.

I couldn’t stop the lump from forming in my throat, my nose tickling and my eyes burning with unshed tears. I forced myself from breaking down. If only he was always this caring and loving toward me like before. This was simply an act that he was a loving father and that he loved me. In reality, he was a beast who didn’t know the very meaning of love and who didn’t know how to love, how to care. He only knew how to beat and hate someone.

The officer’s eyes widened in disbelief when realization dawned on him but he only spoke when my father closed the door behind him.

“Are you being abused by your own father?'' he questioned me, with a sympathetic look sporting the features on his face.

I blinked back the tears which already welled up to the brim of my eyes. 

For once, without hesitation, I was determined to tell him everything.

I made up my mind and with great courage, I told him everything because I was tired; tired of my own life and tired of the sufferings I had to endure.

Two days later;

I hugged myself once I stepped out of the police car. It’s too chilly out here, my teeth clattered noisily once a light breeze swirled around me. I wished that I had put on some more clothes, like at least a pair of jeans to keep myself warm. I squinted into the dark, since it was already night time to make out the outline of the big house... no, no, no... It was a mansion standing tall in front of me. It was so huge that it loomed over us out of the darkness.

“I think he’s already at home. Come on, let’s -” Jason muttered as he came to stand by me, rolling my big red suitcase by his side but stopping it by his feet when I interrupted him.

"- are you sure? I think it’ll be better if I just stay at some apartment -

"- are you crazy? Your father has gone missing. For all I know, he might be already watching you from afar and you want to live alone by yourself?” Jason shook his head in disbelief, like he couldn’t believe my audacity.

I shivered once that thought crossed my mind and the cold wasn’t helping at all. I feel like I’ll catch a cold by tomorrow if I stay outside like this. I’m such a fool. Who, in their right state of mind, would travel outside during spring in a thin hospital dress? I had my sweater on but it was not enough. I did not know that it would be this cold here, so I was not prepared for the cold weather. I never really got the chance to change into some comfortable and warm clothes too. However, it was necessary for us to get away from the hospital; from that town as soon as possible because according to Jason, my father will be back and I needed to get away while I still can.

I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing up straight like vines, sending a cold chill down my spine, just with the thought of my father catching me after this. I got away but I won’t let him catch me. I can’t because I know what he will do to me after this.

I have been able to escape death once but I won’t be able to escape it once again if he manages to catch me after what I just did. I tried to escape him and trying to escape such a devil, it’s like trying to escape death which was inevitable. He would definitely kill me this time but first, by tormenting me because that’s what he does. He always tortures me first then leaves me to suffer in pain. 

Jason is right, I thought.

Two days ago, at the hospital;

After basically telling everything to the officer, I couldn’t stop shaking and shivering in fright. I knew my father was just outside this room, so I was afraid of him just bursting in and beating me in anger.

However, the officer grabbed my shoulders and made me look at him straight in the eyes. I had to squint hard to see him clearly since my eyes were watery and everything was too blurry.

“Listen, you don’t have to be scared from now on, okay? It’s my job as a police officer to protect you and believe me, once I’ve said that I’ll protect you, it means that I’ll do so at all cost.” He reassured me and I simply nodded in response while gulping hard.

When he moved to go outside, I grasped tightly on his right arm, clutching it with my hands.

“P-Please, just get him away from me, I-I-I can’t - ” my voice broke at the end but he caressed my head softly and lightly with his left hand and smiled gently.

“Don’t worry!'' He said and he walked outside once my hold on him loosened.

I gripped my hands altogether and stared at the now closed door and waited, afraid of it opening to my father’s enraging face. I burrowed myself back in the soft pillow and tried to stop thinking about the consequences.

Suddenly, the door burst open with a bang once it collided against the wall. I jumped in fright at the sudden movement and noise but instead of encountering my father’s scary face, I was faced with Jason’s worried face with his eyebrows furrowed together, almost touching as he frowned in confusion. He looked deep in thought as his eyes traveled the whole room before resting on my figure.