"I'll wait Inaya... Until you're ready"Hearing that, a small part of me wanted to shout, who said I'll ever be ready! Today was just an exception... I still want a divorce!"But the major part of me still wondered, "do I really still want to get a divorce?""Hamza" I called his name whispering."hmm""This doesn't mean that we're back... I don't want you to misunderstand."He suddenly put his hand gently on my chin, and raised my face to look at his as if he needed to look inside my eyes to speak with me, he said,"I know that Inaya, but this isn't nothing as well... Is it?"I shook my head, so he smiled widely and then he pecked my forehead gently.He lifted me from my waist to put me back on the floor as if I was a little baby, and then he ordered like his bossy usual self,"you dry your hair before you catch a cold, I'll go have a shower so quick and we'll eat together when I finish"I nodded, On my way to my room I heard his phone ringing again, he took the call on the balcony so
INAYA - When I was 18 years old, I said to the 22 years old Hamza,"I don't believe that there's something such as selfless love in the world... We all are selfish, either we want to be loved by others without loving them back, or we want as much love from others as we give them, We always want to be on the receiving end, This is how the world works, take us for example... If I say that I don't love you not even a single bit, would you still insist on wasting your emotions on me knowing that you'll never receive anything in return?"At that age, I was in my last year of high school, and I wasn't in my best mental shape.I used to be a top student in middle school But ever since my mother abandoned me, I abandoned everything else in my life with her departure, my friends, my dreams, and my studies.I felt like everything was pointless... And that people were frauds.I moved from being the first student in the class to hanging just above the average, what saved my barely surviving grad
"Just leave them to me, and I'll wash them for you, But where did they get the dirt from?""I fell" he explained.I inspected him for a bit to search for any apparent wounds from the fall, and then I asked,"did you hurt yourself?"He looked at me pensively for weird moments, I was thinking he was going to report a series of injuries after such long thinking. Unexpectedly he just replied,"No"I looked at the basket and I felt very lazy, we didn't have a washing machine at the time, not because we couldn't afford it, but because my stingy grandmother simply found it wasteful to purchase a machine for something we can do handily. I really had no heart to scrub and squeeze at Hamza's moment, so I sneakily said to Hamza,"how about we have a chat for a bit? We haven't spoken at all since you came. I have sweet hawthorns too, I'll share some with you while we chat"He nodded with an elegant smile, and then he followed me to the bench where I was sitting.We chatted for so long, it was mai
He paused and looked at me for a bit and then he called,"Inaya"I felt strange with him calling my name although I was sitting right beside him, still, I replied,"yes"He took a deep breath... And then he said,"If you can't possibly love me back then I choose to have this with you... A compromised love"It was only many years later when that man honestly admitted, "I hate hawthorns... I hate them the way you hate cabbages, I really don't stand their taste"Yet he forced himself to finish half a bag of them on the rooftop just to accompany me... Just to stay with me.Wasn't that a blunt compromise after all that I still never saw?When he confessed:"I really... really love you"I couldn't even look at the man lying on the bed beside me because I was choking in guilt, it wasn't like his feelings were not obvious, I just chose not to see them. it took me so long before I finally asked,"Since when?""Always." He replied without a drop of hesitation."Even back when I was 18?" I asked
INAYA -I thought that Nadir's issue was long settled by Hamza but I was wrong, Thankfully I was wrong.I was too naive to blindly trust him and hand him Nadir's urgent demand to meet with me, doing that... I almost lost the chance to know the truth that was kept from me for so long.Hereby, I send my attributions to Nadir, the brave knight, and filial son, and Hamza, that scum.It was a regular Tuesday when a coworker of mine walked inside the office where I worked and he informed me,"Inaya, There's a call for you in the reception office,"Being someone who never received this sort of call I logically asked,"then should I go take this call in the reception office or will it be transferred here?"The coworker looked at me rather troubled and then he said,"I forgot to ask the secretary to transfer the call, you just go take it there"As for the reason for us both being this troubled and reluctant in dealing with the reception office, it's because the secretary who works there is the
My heart felt so heavy looking at the smiling him in the pictures... Seeing him holding the young me in his arms, he was the kindest person in the world to me, my life turned into a continuous misery without him.I hardly kept my tears when I met my father in this way, Happy with a friend.I looked at Nadir again and I pointed at the little boy standing in the last picture while handing all the pictures back to him, and I asked,"Is this you?""yes""you were a short fatty.." I commented.I tried to remember such a short fatty person and I blurrily had a recollection of a boy whose name was Nada, and who was an introvert who didn't like me at all, as for the other man in the picture... My father's friend, my memories of him were larger in size, he used to buy me a lot of candy, And he visited us a few times after my father's death as well. But a lot of people visited us after my father's death so I never felt he was anyhow more special."wasn't your name Nada?" I asked.The elegant la
But the moment Nadir finished saying those words and I looked at him, all that image was drastically shaken, instead of a cold person, I found a man who looked at me with pure worry in his eyes.I know him, he was only worried that I would agree with Nadir's words and suspect him subsequently.You see... This man is my husband, I would never want to see him getting weak, no matter what was the reason for that, even if that reason was me.So I looked at Nadir and I maintained a straight face while lying,"We both agreed on keeping our marriage a secret__"But I was interrupted by Hamza right away, he put his palm on my shoulder as if asking me to stop lying.I looked at him again, That momentary worry and hesitation had all disappeared as if they were never there, he looked at Nadir so intensely that in my heart I knew"NADIR GHEMMARI IS A DEAD PERSON NOW"Well, I don't think he'll actually kill him, but there are a lot of ways in punishing people and Hamza filladi is the master of tha
INAYA -"you're my Inaya... You're only mine" Hamza whispered possessively while cupping my face with his palms after he kissed me.Such a violent kiss and such words, I only had them once before. It was when Hamza kissed me after I met with my long college boyfriend behind his back, Aziz Chelou,When I passed my baccalaureate exams(college entrance exams), I miraculously got high marks so Mr. Belguassem suggested that I should go study in D city at an elite journalism college, the kind whose students have a prosperous future in the Media field. When I read about that school I was so excited about it, It was actually the first time in a really long while that I felt like I really wanted something.So I agreed, and I was soon administered there, when college started, it was then when I met Aziz chellou, the man who will be my boyfriend for the next three years to come.Being new in D city having no friends and no one to communicate with, I signed up for so many clubs in college, even t
Ines Filladi always knew that she should never marry a man that she liked more than he liked her because her brother's failing marriage gave her the trauma of her life.There isn't a single person in the Filladi's close circle of acquaintances who failed to notice how infatuated Hamza is with his wife, whenever Inaya was in his surrounding, his eyes would always carefully watch her every little movement, if he was spotted spacing out while looking at something in the far distance, it was unnecessary to curiously follow his gaze and see what he was looking at since most certainly, a little sun-kissed woman with a long dark hair would be standing at that faraway spot.Since everyone could tell, and even those who poorly knew Hamza, how come Inaya still had no idea and acted indifferent toward him?? Ines found only one explanation for this: that Inaya truly had not a single emotion nor care for Hamza, therefore, he was only wasting his life on an undeserving woman.She remembers clearly
Hamza is still a man who is hard to read.For example, I thought he was totally ok with my father-in-law keeping Ayoub in his care, however, when our cars coming from the hospital finally reached the villa, he suddenly refused to let my father-in-law have Ayoub for a moment longer, like the very instant our car stopped he calmly walked out without even throwing any sort of remark to me, because usually, he would bossily give orders like, "Inaya, wait here." "Wait for me to come back." "Stay in the car".So yes, he just forgot about me, he walked out and directly headed towards his father's car, personally opened his father's seat door, held the baby in his arms, and as he was about to walk away he remembered to look back at the dumbfounded old man left behind and say, "thank you."What he probably meant was, "your time is up, now I'm taking my son back."While looking at him I initially thought the reason he so suddenly decided to make Mr buelguassem's face turn red with anger, is
Life is very unpredictable.For example, that night... my husband hugged me and I went to sleep.When I opened my eyes the next time, I found my husband still sleeping beside me and circling his arms around me, there was a little difference though. We were not in our room, we were on a hospital bed instead.There was an IV drip connected to my arm, looking on top of my head, I saw the saline bottle hanging on the stand.The first thought I had was that my baby was gone, but before I even started to panic, I felt the baby's movement in my belly so I breathed in relief, as long as he still moved it meant that everything was fine.I made a little movement as I checked on the baby, and that was enough to wake Hamza up...The moment he opened his eyes, he quickly uncircled his arms from around me and leaned on them to lift his torso and look at me.When he saw that I was wide awake and blinking my eyes in confusion while staring at him he didn't wait for the slightest moment before his lip
How does it feel to know that your son won't probably come to life?Let's just skip this part and more practically ask, What to do to cope with the fact you know your son won't probably come to life?1- at all costs, avoid looking at baby products...Because their sight will unnecessarily break your heart to pieces, and bring tears to your eyes, so if for example you were randomly watching TV and diaper ads suddenly jumped on the screen from nowhere then you have to immediately change the channel or turn the TV off, if you have your husband sitting with you then you can depend on him in catching the remote control in the speed of light and using it to make the ad disappear, because usually when such sad ads show up... Your pregnancy hormones act quicker than your reflexes and you might need the help of someone else because you'll be busy having your heart aching.I'm someone who is a TV addict, by TV addict I precisely mean that I don't necessarily like watching a certain category of
A day passed... Then two...A week... Then two...Months followed and my child still lived!I must say this child sure inherited all Hamza's genes and neglected mine, otherwise, how come when literally there was no hope left he still survived?I guarantee you, when I give birth to this little devil, he would come out silently, Then start inspecting his surrounding without crying, and would only gaze at the nurse coldly waiting for her to cover him with clothes, I suppose his father did the same thing as well.The child is a boy... If I should define his gender, a very stubborn and willful boy to be precise, for example when a second doctor was doing my ultrasound after reading my file and coming to know how terrible my condition always was, with a very surprised face she informed us, "the fetus is developing in the norms."When I smiled and thanked her for reassuring us, she repeated as if we didn't hear her the first time, "his growth is normal, he's normal in size, and there are no
Spending time at the hospital alone for the majority of the time was truly a chance for me to appreciate all I had.Of course, there were always nurses by my side and doctors... The family visited as well, even my mother-in-law put on her most elegant of clothes and jewelry and then came to visit me, since no outsider knew about my pregnancy the possibility of her coming to see me only to put a facade in front of her acquaintances was disqualified, in fact, by coming to see me she was, on the contrary creating trouble for herself if she were ever to be caught by someone she knew, yet she made all the effort only to stand at the top of my head and scald me, "Did you have to fight with your husband while being pregnant and send your self to the hospital? I understand your temper is very short but you have to be more patient now! If you two can't stay in the same room without quarreling then you should have occupied separate rooms! Etc."Even my father-in-law decided to put an end to his
When I first discovered I was pregnant for the second time, no matter what everyone said, I truly believed this was the miracle of my life.So one night when I was about to go to sleep, I looked at my husband who naturally was still working as if working like he had no tomorrow would win him a ticket to paradise.Anyways after scalding him and expressing how much I hated his habit of always preferring the sight of papers instead of enjoying his rest time with me, his highness was forced to turn off his laptop and come lie beside me on to the bed to accompany me to sleep.Being me, I quickly buried myself in his warmth while asking, "don't you think it's better this way? Being with me instead of restlessly working? There's no point in building an empire on earth if you'd neglect what should be treasured more than money.""I'm trying to solve a few matters beforehand because I will have to spend more time watching over you from now on." He explained calmly...Although his explanation co
Hamza developed a new habit, of being extra rude to people.This man is, with no exaggeration whatsoever, one of the least sociable of people I ever met, for example once when we visited a certain farm with his family, and we found a lot of guests there, it was only natural and awaited from us to blend in among the rest of the guests.Still, this very arrogant person only spoke with a limited list of people, and it was mainly to them that I was introduced, as for the rest of the guests who by the way were overly welcoming, they were facelessly ignored.At first, I thought Hamza is one of those people who treat others according to their class and money, which is indirectly offending to me because I'm not someone who was born in a castle, it was inevitable to think "what if this man didn't blindly fall for me, would I be belittled and ignored this way?".But as I walked more around in his company I finally realized the people he spoke with belonged to only 2 categories,1- his business
How was it like to be pregnant alone for the first time?1. I discovered I was pregnant around the seventh week.I was very busy with work around that time to care for myself, I only suspected I was pregnant because I was feeling tired and nauseous most of the time and it was happening for a hell much longer to just assume I was nauseous because I ate bad food, I took the test one morning, and when it came out positive, I had no idea what to do or what to think, so I called my husband who was then at work, much not to my surprise though, it was his secretary who answered and said he was at an important meeting.I remember taking the day off after much trouble, then going to consult the gynecologist alone, where I was informed not only about my pregnancy but also about my particular case.I went back home soon after, then spent the whole day just sitting alone and staring at space, I wasn't happy that I was pregnant at all, in fact, I spent a long time only blaming myself for not takin