Twisted Heart

20 September 2020, Sunday, time: at 4 am.

The session record of Brian McCoy with psychiatric Dr. Mia Smith.

“How do you feel today?”

My forty-something psychiatrist questions me. I don’t know why people ask this question to one another. It’s not like they can use their magic wand to make everything fine after knowing I feel nothing, not a single emotion.

“Same as yesterday.”

Today is the third day of this chaotic mental session. I have been in this dull, boring room before. I hate this room from the moment I sit on this leather couch. I am here for what? I don’t know why dada thought I needed help, but I don’t know what help I am seeking. However, like the ideal son he thinks I am, I comply with his word without making any fuss, nowadays I don’t have the energy to make an argument.

Another reason for coming to this place is I want some fucking peace, my circus house which consists of a half-mad father and three annoying siblings has to be the last tranquil area of this world. I wanted to isolate myself. A week before this damn session I thought about locking myself into our private island, no one but only me, sleeping, drinking, smoking, some weeds, some high-profile prostitutes, that’s how I wanted my life a week ago.

What’s the point of being the multimillion-dollar company CEO when you can’t even live your life on your terms? I was satisfied with my messed-up life till now, until the death of my beloved girlfriend, Olivia. Beloved, did I love her? These days she is the one on the top of my death note, right ahead of the Halls.

Gosh, she surprised Halls, that’s something else.

“So, you decided to talk to me?” Mia asks.

“Yes.”

“Can I know the reason for your sudden mind change?”

“I hate wasting money, especially on a woman. If I am paying you, you better give me an A-class result.”

“Do you hate women?” Three lines appear on her forehead, she is frowning.

“From the bottom of my heart.” She writes something in her notebook that is lying on her lap.

“Can I know the reason?”

“They only want fucking money, nothing else. As long as you keep providing them with they will give you the best version of themselves, the moment you become careless, they go, fuck other men, and come back pretending themselves again.”

Again, she takes note.

“To whom are you referring to?” she comes a little forward from her seat.

My mother, Cora McCoy. As the older children of Matthew and Cora McCoy, I had seen every single thing that a child shouldn’t witness about their mother. My mother, Cora McCoy, was society's sweetheart, everyone loved her. The reason she was kind, friendly, a lovely woman, an ideal wife, and the perfect mother was only if they knew what happened behind the door of the McCoy mansion, I would bet all my money they would throw up on my late mother's beautiful ugly face.

My father didn’t even know about her affairs. The way he loved her, he trusted her with his life, business, money, and, most importantly, with his foolish heart. That woman perfectly scratched his heart so badly that he lost his mental stability after discovering the series of her affairs.

“I don’t like talking about this,” I answer.

“If you hate women this much, then can I say you don’t like your sisters too? You have two, right? Viola McCoy is twenty-eight while the younger one, Lyra McCoy, is twenty-three years old.”

“They are exceptional. I love them because they are not a bitch or disloyal like others. I hate those who play with other’s trust, heart. My sisters are not that kind of human being.”

“What about love? You are a straight, white, wealthy man. Of course, in the future, you want to get married, settle down in your life with a wife.”

“I didn’t think that far yet.”

“But that day will come one day.”

Love, oh gosh, the most hearted word in my dictionary, what is the meaning of this word? If you g****e this shit, you will find some affection, passion, intensity-related insane stuff. I want to shout at this person’s face who invented this definition, I get all this from my whore without showering that fucking shit word.

I know the world’s worst love tale, I didn’t need to look far, my house is the treasure of this tragedy.

My father and mother were college sweethearts, they got married after my dada took over my grandfather’s construction company after his death, became millionaires, and new high society, glam, parties became a part of their simple life.

My dada stayed busy with his work, he had an empire to handle, this was the time for my sweet, innocent middle-class mother to change her color. She did perfectly blend with the upper-class woman, from Walmart to Gucci, Dior, from bus to Mercedes, from rented one-room apartment to thirty-room mansion, she had everything that she never dreamed of.

When my father was busy earning money to secure our future, my mother was busy having parties and intercourse. I had seen so many naked men coming out of my mother’s bedroom, I used to keep that in the count until one day I lost the count.

I was seven years old when I first saw my mother having sex with a man who was not my father. I woke up in the middle of the night, I was thirsty, as I made my way towards the kitchen, I heard screaming from my mother’s room. I was afraid, I thought mom was in danger like a bloody innocent child.

When I opened the door, I found her on the bed naked with a man, a naked man, who was banging her hard. A seven-year-old child watching her mother having pleasure with another man is the most disturbing thing in the world. I didn’t know what was happening that time, it scared the crap out of me, I ran away before any of them saw me.

If I knew what she was doing all these years with dada, I would have told my father every single guy who visited the house when he was away from a meeting or conference. This continued for fucking ten years, all my siblings witnessed her sin, she didn’t really care about what her children think about her, if she did, she would have stopped the sex marathon in our house.

One night dad came from work quite late, he was in New York for a deal, he didn’t inform my mother about his early flight landing, by that time my mother had produced all the off-spin.

Dada found my mother in bed with Richard Hall, another businessman who was dada’s friend too, who frequently came to our house with his wife Amanda and two sons, Nathan and Luke. Even though they were rivals in the business world, they kept it friendly all the time, respected one another, until that night.

My dada lost everything that fucking night, he kicked mom out of our house, burned her existence, pictures, clothes, and the friendship with the Halls. That very night my mother died in a car accident, that was the final blow for my dad, he reserved himself from society, only business, nothing else.

I was twenty-five during that time, away from home to college in England. As the older son, I started taking responsibility for the company with my studies. Soon enough I took over dada’s position while he retired, but he is the largest shareholder of our company, so he actively takes part in the company decisions.

The alarm starts ringing, the end of my session, I promise, this is the only place where the time flies in seconds, I never feel that I am here for a long time, while it’s a full two-hour session.

 When I take my coat from the chair, I give Mia a nod and without looking back get out of this colorless room. Honestly, this lady needs some major changes in her life. It’s not only her room but also her grey clothing and pinned hair. Whatever she does is not my concern, I have other things to take care of.

My first job right this moment is to make sure the business tender doesn’t go to the Halls, they may be the wealthiest family of Chicago, with construction businesses like us which is going to rough for a couple of years, they also own casinos their main source of incomes, the money from the gambling is their strength, they have an IT company which is doing well, as for the report I got from my assistant Jenifer.

I vowed myself to destroy the Halls, that’s the goal I worked day and night for. The fire of revenge is flaming so high that it will burn anyone who comes near me.

I get on the elevator, click the 25 floors, where my and my sibling's office is situated, this floor is only for us, no one is allowed here without our assistants. The whole floor is protected with security, cameras are all over the place, the fingerprint is a must if you want to access this floor or any of the offices.

I throw my royal blue Armani coat on the brown leather couch as I sit at my desk. I started working for this company when I was twenty, dada helped me in every step, he taught me all the things that I needed to run this business. Now, at the age of three and two, I am the fucking business genius, there is a phrase in our business world, whatever I touch, it becomes gold, true.

I never lose when it comes to my work, I crack all the deals, all the tender, all the projects under my eyes are bound to be profitable. I started this business with my blood, sweat, and tears after dada’s heartbreak. He took a seat back during that time, which cost him a million dollars. The loss was not too bad for the company, but it still took a toll on our reputation, mainly with our shareholders.

My phone rings exactly at 6 o'clock. Without looking, I can tell the caller's name, it’s my little sister Lyra. Every day at this time of the evening I hear from my sister. I have been getting these calls since Lyra started taking care of our family, it will be five years from now.

“Hello,”

“Are you coming for dinner?” She asks in her soft voice.

In our house, she is the only one who doesn’t raise her voice, swear or break things, lose temper on silly matters unlike the rest of the wild sibling, the only normal person I know.

Lyra is softer than tofu, an introverted, shy woman who loves to stay home, cooking is her joy of life, she is too good at it, her briskets are the best I have ever had in my life, reading romance novels is her weakness. I also think among our four siblings she is the romantic one.

“I will be late tonight.”

She is responsible for my recent weight gain, not long ago, she prepared the banquet for dada’s birthday, all of us ingested the food like a hungry bear. From time to time she cooks these huge feasts for us, my brother Owen and I are addicted to her cooking, we love eating her food more than anything in this world.

“I will keep some in the oven.”

Yeah, she will do that, along with staying up until I go home and finish eating. That’s what she does, she takes care of people around her as if it’s her job.

Every night before going back to my apartment, I go to dada’s home to check him, I sit to talk to him, in the meantime, my little ladybug fills my stomach with her delicious food.

Life has been like this for a decade now, and trust me, I am having no problem, even in the future, I can go like this. See, I don’t need any women in my life, I learned my lesson well from Olivia. She and my mother were enough to teach me the true color of madness that a woman can bring into your life.

My dada fell for it, and he made fun of him in front of the world, I am not following in his footsteps even though he is the greatest man I have ever seen.