My heart felt so heavy looking at the smiling him in the pictures... Seeing him holding the young me in his arms, he was the kindest person in the world to me, my life turned into a continuous misery without him.I hardly kept my tears when I met my father in this way, Happy with a friend.I looked at Nadir again and I pointed at the little boy standing in the last picture while handing all the pictures back to him, and I asked,"Is this you?""yes""you were a short fatty.." I commented.I tried to remember such a short fatty person and I blurrily had a recollection of a boy whose name was Nada, and who was an introvert who didn't like me at all, as for the other man in the picture... My father's friend, my memories of him were larger in size, he used to buy me a lot of candy, And he visited us a few times after my father's death as well. But a lot of people visited us after my father's death so I never felt he was anyhow more special."wasn't your name Nada?" I asked.The elegant la
But the moment Nadir finished saying those words and I looked at him, all that image was drastically shaken, instead of a cold person, I found a man who looked at me with pure worry in his eyes.I know him, he was only worried that I would agree with Nadir's words and suspect him subsequently.You see... This man is my husband, I would never want to see him getting weak, no matter what was the reason for that, even if that reason was me.So I looked at Nadir and I maintained a straight face while lying,"We both agreed on keeping our marriage a secret__"But I was interrupted by Hamza right away, he put his palm on my shoulder as if asking me to stop lying.I looked at him again, That momentary worry and hesitation had all disappeared as if they were never there, he looked at Nadir so intensely that in my heart I knew"NADIR GHEMMARI IS A DEAD PERSON NOW"Well, I don't think he'll actually kill him, but there are a lot of ways in punishing people and Hamza filladi is the master of tha
INAYA -"you're my Inaya... You're only mine" Hamza whispered possessively while cupping my face with his palms after he kissed me.Such a violent kiss and such words, I only had them once before. It was when Hamza kissed me after I met with my long college boyfriend behind his back, Aziz Chelou,When I passed my baccalaureate exams(college entrance exams), I miraculously got high marks so Mr. Belguassem suggested that I should go study in D city at an elite journalism college, the kind whose students have a prosperous future in the Media field. When I read about that school I was so excited about it, It was actually the first time in a really long while that I felt like I really wanted something.So I agreed, and I was soon administered there, when college started, it was then when I met Aziz chellou, the man who will be my boyfriend for the next three years to come.Being new in D city having no friends and no one to communicate with, I signed up for so many clubs in college, even t
When I headed back to the confused group of people who were staring at me, I addressed Aziz saying,"Can you come with me for a bit?"I felt so embarrassed that my blood almost dug holes in my cheeks and burst out of them.I haven't spoken with Aziz for years... How did I end up having such an embarrassing situation with him? And with Hamza!The poor him followed me confused, It was extremely improper and unfair to him that I apologized beforehand,"I'm so sorry Aziz, I swear that I had no intention of ever contacting you or putting you in any sort of hard position, I was obliged to call you now""what's going on?" Aziz asked suspecting me.I just continued my way back to Hamza not saying a word, once the two of us stood in front of that terrifying man, Hamza suddenly held my hand and made me stand beside him and coldly said,"let me introduce myself, I'm this woman's husband"I looked at him and choked on my saliva right away.While I was coughing he continued saying,"I'm already aw
INAYA-I couldn't breathe.For a very long time, I thought only phobia would make me suffocate, not knowing that in my life I will live worst situations than a panic attack.Take a trust attack as an example.My vision was so blurry and the voices were fading around me, all I wanted was someone to lean on.In that terrible state, which was caused by that husband of mine's confession, the only person I still wanted to lean on and wholeheartedly trusted was actually him, this husband of mine.I hate feelings, I don't know if such hatred should be logical or explained but I sincerely hate feelings, I hate how we can't control them and how contradictory they make us.In my blurry state, I was held by strong arms which felt like a sponge though, my name was constantly called, and the typical Algerian Hamza brought a bottle of water with the speed of the light and was in the process of flashing my face with water when I finally had my full consciousness back.I was sitting on a sofa.The fir
He stood up from his chair and walked towards me with disgust and hatred in his eyes, he pointed his finger at me and yelled,"It wasn't only my fault that my son died! If you didn't have this mentality of yours back then my son would have been standing by my side now and calling me father! You accused me of cheating with no proof! You said I cheated when all I did was to work like a slave just to become a CEO to protect you! So I can be able to announce this marriage and give my son a name without fearing that someone might threaten to kill you just to take me down before I'm in power! Do you think I was idly ignoring you?! I worked like a slave to everyone just to keep you safe!"I didn't know about that, I genuinely didn't know my life could have been in real danger if Hamza announced my presence, still, I had things to declare too. I stood up from the sofa to properly confront him and I yelled,"don't you dare throw the blame on me! I found you hugging Lydia! I saw you with my own
INAYA -We kissed in his office afterward, long passionate kisses.I didn't feel hungry, I didn't feel tired, I just kissed that man like I had no tomorrow.I could feel his confusion with my decision to stay, he was hesitant with every touch he made and he was eager and unsatisfied as well as if he was living a dream that he didn't believe yet he refused to wake up from, such a state is something very natural and expected of course, since I always led the life of a prideful selfish person with him, he simply couldn't believe I actually chose to stay despite the big fat quarrel we had earlier.It is not an exaggeration to say that all the knives were out that day, we really had that type of quarrel that can simply be written in the category of "unreconciled differences" on a divorce paper. A quarrel that the 80 years old me would have recalled and then proudly said, "my decision of ending my marriage with him was right, It was impossible between me and that man!"But I stayed, and magi
Once this sentence was said, I remained pensively silent for a very long time, in the end, I very seriously admitted,"I think you're correct,"The reason for this being me recalling how I treated my mother-in-law who I definitely hated, a particular series of memories came to my mind on the mention of this.This series of events happened during that period when Ines, my sister-in-law, suddenly started to develop a keen interest in cooking, as for why she was so motivated to improve her culinary skills out of the blue that I don't know about, After a series of failed dishes she was getting more desperate with every passing day... That is until she one day miraculously mastered preparing a certain soup, whose name I don't remember, anyways I was generous on the breakfast table that day when endlessly praising her, I even chose to ignore mentioning the fact that such soup shouldn't normally be served on breakfast, yet this sharp-tongued mother-in-law of mine mocked me saying,"you should
Ines Filladi always knew that she should never marry a man that she liked more than he liked her because her brother's failing marriage gave her the trauma of her life.There isn't a single person in the Filladi's close circle of acquaintances who failed to notice how infatuated Hamza is with his wife, whenever Inaya was in his surrounding, his eyes would always carefully watch her every little movement, if he was spotted spacing out while looking at something in the far distance, it was unnecessary to curiously follow his gaze and see what he was looking at since most certainly, a little sun-kissed woman with a long dark hair would be standing at that faraway spot.Since everyone could tell, and even those who poorly knew Hamza, how come Inaya still had no idea and acted indifferent toward him?? Ines found only one explanation for this: that Inaya truly had not a single emotion nor care for Hamza, therefore, he was only wasting his life on an undeserving woman.She remembers clearly
Hamza is still a man who is hard to read.For example, I thought he was totally ok with my father-in-law keeping Ayoub in his care, however, when our cars coming from the hospital finally reached the villa, he suddenly refused to let my father-in-law have Ayoub for a moment longer, like the very instant our car stopped he calmly walked out without even throwing any sort of remark to me, because usually, he would bossily give orders like, "Inaya, wait here." "Wait for me to come back." "Stay in the car".So yes, he just forgot about me, he walked out and directly headed towards his father's car, personally opened his father's seat door, held the baby in his arms, and as he was about to walk away he remembered to look back at the dumbfounded old man left behind and say, "thank you."What he probably meant was, "your time is up, now I'm taking my son back."While looking at him I initially thought the reason he so suddenly decided to make Mr buelguassem's face turn red with anger, is
Life is very unpredictable.For example, that night... my husband hugged me and I went to sleep.When I opened my eyes the next time, I found my husband still sleeping beside me and circling his arms around me, there was a little difference though. We were not in our room, we were on a hospital bed instead.There was an IV drip connected to my arm, looking on top of my head, I saw the saline bottle hanging on the stand.The first thought I had was that my baby was gone, but before I even started to panic, I felt the baby's movement in my belly so I breathed in relief, as long as he still moved it meant that everything was fine.I made a little movement as I checked on the baby, and that was enough to wake Hamza up...The moment he opened his eyes, he quickly uncircled his arms from around me and leaned on them to lift his torso and look at me.When he saw that I was wide awake and blinking my eyes in confusion while staring at him he didn't wait for the slightest moment before his lip
How does it feel to know that your son won't probably come to life?Let's just skip this part and more practically ask, What to do to cope with the fact you know your son won't probably come to life?1- at all costs, avoid looking at baby products...Because their sight will unnecessarily break your heart to pieces, and bring tears to your eyes, so if for example you were randomly watching TV and diaper ads suddenly jumped on the screen from nowhere then you have to immediately change the channel or turn the TV off, if you have your husband sitting with you then you can depend on him in catching the remote control in the speed of light and using it to make the ad disappear, because usually when such sad ads show up... Your pregnancy hormones act quicker than your reflexes and you might need the help of someone else because you'll be busy having your heart aching.I'm someone who is a TV addict, by TV addict I precisely mean that I don't necessarily like watching a certain category of
A day passed... Then two...A week... Then two...Months followed and my child still lived!I must say this child sure inherited all Hamza's genes and neglected mine, otherwise, how come when literally there was no hope left he still survived?I guarantee you, when I give birth to this little devil, he would come out silently, Then start inspecting his surrounding without crying, and would only gaze at the nurse coldly waiting for her to cover him with clothes, I suppose his father did the same thing as well.The child is a boy... If I should define his gender, a very stubborn and willful boy to be precise, for example when a second doctor was doing my ultrasound after reading my file and coming to know how terrible my condition always was, with a very surprised face she informed us, "the fetus is developing in the norms."When I smiled and thanked her for reassuring us, she repeated as if we didn't hear her the first time, "his growth is normal, he's normal in size, and there are no
Spending time at the hospital alone for the majority of the time was truly a chance for me to appreciate all I had.Of course, there were always nurses by my side and doctors... The family visited as well, even my mother-in-law put on her most elegant of clothes and jewelry and then came to visit me, since no outsider knew about my pregnancy the possibility of her coming to see me only to put a facade in front of her acquaintances was disqualified, in fact, by coming to see me she was, on the contrary creating trouble for herself if she were ever to be caught by someone she knew, yet she made all the effort only to stand at the top of my head and scald me, "Did you have to fight with your husband while being pregnant and send your self to the hospital? I understand your temper is very short but you have to be more patient now! If you two can't stay in the same room without quarreling then you should have occupied separate rooms! Etc."Even my father-in-law decided to put an end to his
When I first discovered I was pregnant for the second time, no matter what everyone said, I truly believed this was the miracle of my life.So one night when I was about to go to sleep, I looked at my husband who naturally was still working as if working like he had no tomorrow would win him a ticket to paradise.Anyways after scalding him and expressing how much I hated his habit of always preferring the sight of papers instead of enjoying his rest time with me, his highness was forced to turn off his laptop and come lie beside me on to the bed to accompany me to sleep.Being me, I quickly buried myself in his warmth while asking, "don't you think it's better this way? Being with me instead of restlessly working? There's no point in building an empire on earth if you'd neglect what should be treasured more than money.""I'm trying to solve a few matters beforehand because I will have to spend more time watching over you from now on." He explained calmly...Although his explanation co
Hamza developed a new habit, of being extra rude to people.This man is, with no exaggeration whatsoever, one of the least sociable of people I ever met, for example once when we visited a certain farm with his family, and we found a lot of guests there, it was only natural and awaited from us to blend in among the rest of the guests.Still, this very arrogant person only spoke with a limited list of people, and it was mainly to them that I was introduced, as for the rest of the guests who by the way were overly welcoming, they were facelessly ignored.At first, I thought Hamza is one of those people who treat others according to their class and money, which is indirectly offending to me because I'm not someone who was born in a castle, it was inevitable to think "what if this man didn't blindly fall for me, would I be belittled and ignored this way?".But as I walked more around in his company I finally realized the people he spoke with belonged to only 2 categories,1- his business
How was it like to be pregnant alone for the first time?1. I discovered I was pregnant around the seventh week.I was very busy with work around that time to care for myself, I only suspected I was pregnant because I was feeling tired and nauseous most of the time and it was happening for a hell much longer to just assume I was nauseous because I ate bad food, I took the test one morning, and when it came out positive, I had no idea what to do or what to think, so I called my husband who was then at work, much not to my surprise though, it was his secretary who answered and said he was at an important meeting.I remember taking the day off after much trouble, then going to consult the gynecologist alone, where I was informed not only about my pregnancy but also about my particular case.I went back home soon after, then spent the whole day just sitting alone and staring at space, I wasn't happy that I was pregnant at all, in fact, I spent a long time only blaming myself for not takin