Ashley POVI swallowed hard, and a shudder spread all over my system as I recalled the horrible pain in the pit of my stomach when Clark had called to tell me about Jayden's accident. If that idiot had died that night, I would never have forgiven myself, partly because I felt a little responsible for making him as angry as I felt. Knowing him, I should have been more careful, but then again, I was the angriest person ever in my entire life. And to make matters worse, I could not even tell him the real reason for his accident.But I doubt if I could have lived with myself had he died. Surely that would have shattered me."I've been lying awake thinking about my past every night," he continued, the frown on his forehead indicating that he had noticed my concern. "Partly because of the amnesia, because I want to know how much I can remember... but mostly because of you."I would have thought that he was being sarcastic if not for the look in his eyes. It was a look of solemnity and of ho
Ashley POV"What is it you're trying to say?" I asked slowly, briefly wondering if this was all a dream. If Jayden crouching before me was just a shadow of my imagination, and that everything about my engagement, be it with him or with his brother, everything about his accident and amnesia was just an imagination. Maybe I would wake up soon and realize that I was twelve again and the only problems in my world were whether my grandpa or grandma who would cook for me that evening, whether my parents would be okay on their flight to Rome, and whether Eva would stop trying to convince me that Harry Styles would win her heart in five years, and I just needed to watch and learn from her about how to charm pop idol stars. The latter was ironic considering my current dream, but it had come true nonetheless.The moment I felt the warmth of his fingers, met the warmth of caramel brown eyes on a face that used to have a nose that was too big and smelled the fresh scent of soap, white musk, and
Ashley POVIt was no surprise that he was already eating oatmeal when I woke up and walked into the kitchen, his wet dark brown hair left to dry naturally. He pointed towards the second bowl on the kitchen table, and I took a seat in front of him, gingerly grasping the protruding spoon while trying not to think about what had happened the day before.In the most logical yet irritating way possible, I had agreed to marry his brother. And despite Jayden having agreed to forge a friendship with me and put his emotions aside, I was ninety-nine percent sure that he had lied. Why? Because I could feel it. But I didn't know the extent of his lies.“Your parents went to the gym,” he said in a tone of voice that sounded just like normal, snapping me out of my morning reverie. “They said they have something to take care of at the office, and won't be home until dinner.” He tilted his head curiously. “Are they always working? Even during the weekends?”“Yeah,” I muttered, using one hand to suppo
Ashley POVFear crept into his voice at the end of his sentence. I tried to give him a reassuring smile, but Jayden didn't look up, his face slowly stiffening into a rigid line. Knowing that I simply couldn't follow my instinct to do more to comfort him more closely, with touch or closeness, I braced myself in my seat. I was just about to make a joke when my cell phone vibrated in the pocket of my pajama pants.It was Eva.“What's up?” I asked as I answered the call, immediately drawing the attention of Jayden who was sitting near me.“Ash... You won't even believe what I'm about to tell you...” Eva sobbed loudly into her phone, her voice barely audible between her strangled cries.“Hey,” I said, trying to remain calm even though my heart was starting to get wary. “Snap out of it. Where are you? Are you hurt?”Jayden glanced at me in confusion. “Parents?” he asked hesitantly.I shook my head, my voice turned to a whisper. “Eva,” I replied, ”She's crying.”I winced as a horrible wail c
Ashley POVThe song ended, and Jayden played another music video, staring intensely at the TV screen. I gave a sigh and leaned back as far as I could on the couch. There was an invisible weight resting on my shoulders, and I felt like it was about to get heavier. I had managed to put this whole task aside until then, having spent a relatively smooth week with hiding Jayden's identity. But seeing all those headlines, realizing that the world knew about Jayden's accident and that there were people like Eva who, without them knowing, were relying on my efforts and hard work, really made me feel small.After dinner, I went to study while Jayden took his seldom-used tablet and watched the old BHB show. He was already asleep by the time I finished and I fell asleep shortly after. The next morning, he informed me that my dad was making an emergency trip back to London for an unspecified amount of time, and my mom would probably follow on Sunday.For the next three and a half weeks, nothing h
Ashley POV“Don't even try,” he hissed. "You and your family have more than enough money to buy a small town. Why can't you use those resources to piss me off?”“Because I'm a good person?” I was tempted to turn on the wall lamp behind me, but as much as I wanted to see Jayden acting irrationally, I didn't want to see his expression which was definitely harsh and cold. He was too good at it.After a horribly long pause, he broke the silence with a small laugh. “Never been an optimist, have you?”It took a while before I came to my senses as to what was really going on. I groaned in annoyance. “Have you been joking all this time?”“Yes,” he said cheerfully.“You idiot!”He laughed out loud. It had been a long time since I'd heard him laugh like that, and the happy sound warmed my heart, sinking into my bones. “Well, can you really blame me? I want to see how much dedication you have. Besides, I also wanted to see if I could still lie to you if I needed to.”“Sadistic bastard,” I grumbl
Ashley POVIt was during lunch the next day that I decided to make a rather critical phone call. Sneaking into the bathroom at the coffee shop where Eva wanted to have lunch, I left her with Sarah, who was studying at a nearby art university. We had only met Sarah a few minutes earlier but already felt comfortable sharing a table with our cell phones in hand. In fact, I felt a little relieved to be there with Sarah, despite the many things to take care of related to BHB and the ongoing discussions about an upcoming sleepover. Just hope that Eva hadn't noticed that I'd gone to the bathroom for longer than usual.After taking care of the usual business, I found myself in an unexpected dilemma. Biting my lower lip, I stared at the familiar names on my phone screen. Which member would be the most appropriate to talk to?I really had no idea. For almost a minute, I read the names over and over again, trying to remember the details of the dinner at their apartment. This decision wasn't easy
Ashley POVI gulped again, not responding. I didn't know what to say to brighten the somber mood that had suddenly enveloped this phone conversation. As much as I had witnessed Jayden's behavior over the past few weeks and realized how much his condition had been getting worse, both mentally and physically, despite our best efforts, I had never really thought about how the other BHB members felt about this situation. And really, why should I? They had nothing to do with me personally; they were just celebrities that my best friend happened to worship.But really, who am I kidding? I knew the reason why I felt so bad for them, even just over a phone call. Why did the hurt in their voices and answers evoked such great feelings of sympathy in me?Because of him. Because of Jayden, I started to care even for his group mates. What has he done to me?Silence fell over the conversation again, albeit shorter this time. Jamie's light, relaxed voice finally broke the silence. “We will be there,
Ashley POVI rolled my eyes and used my other hand as a barrier to block my vision from seeing something I didn't want to see. “You'll never know,” I stated. “Better to be safe before you regret it.”“I'll go change in the bathroom,” he said with a grunt. “I just wanted you to know about the appointment.”His figure disappeared, and I let out a breath that I didn't realize I was holding. The allure of his scent was too strong for me, for some reason. “Why?” I asked without turning around.“Would you like to come along with me?”I frowned. “I can't,” I said quietly. “I'm going to see Jared that day. He and I... we're getting a ring.”It wasn't my idea, nor was it Jared's idea to do that. The first week in April, my parents returned here for a short break and to meet up with Jared before they were forced to return to London. According to my mom, their business venture there hadn't been entirely successful, and still needed more time before they came to a final agreement. Despite the bit
Ashley POVAs time ticked by, March ended and April slowly turned into May, I found myself and Jayden drifting further and further apart. It wasn't a deliberate move by either of us, or at least not a deliberate effort. It just happened.Jayden was spending more time at the dance studio, and he started coming home with a sore throat some days when he decided to hum along to the choreography. He started singing and reading the lyrics whenever he had time in my apartment, and despite me pretending not to notice, I actually did. I loved his voice, pleasant and velvety like that, soothing my mind and body. And he kept showing drastic improvement with each passing week. Also, when he wasn't dancing or singing or memorizing song lyrics, he went and exercised.“I'm getting fat,” he told me as he read comics on the extra bed one night.I was editing an essay at the time, and didn't think much of it until he mentioned it. “I guess not,” I replied bluntly with a shrug.“I've gained almost five
Ashley POVHe didn't speak, but he didn't need to. His silence was enough. However, the stubborn part of me wanted to push him to bring up the topic... more specifically, how he had been affected by his father.“What about you?” I continued cautiously.His eyes narrowed slightly as they scanned my face. “You know about Jayden,” he pointed out.I averted my eyes.“How long have you known?”He didn't sound accusatory, or angry. No, instead, there was something more familiar, something I also felt related to his... childhood.“Too long,” I replied stiffly. I didn't like being reminded of my mistakes, so I replied automatically, defensively with, “You?”“Me too.”And when my eyes locked with his, I saw that it was there. The endless shame, regret, and guilt. It reflected a part deep inside me, so much so that I could hardly bear to look at it.But I forced myself to do so. Because if I hated it, so did Jared. Yet he was brave enough to stick to his stance.Dinner ended shortly after that.
Ashley POVLooking at the menu, I already knew what I wanted to order. My mom's favorite dish at The Monarch was pasta with a sauce made from roasted oysters, so I went with that. By the time the waiter returned with our drinks, Jared and I were ready to order. She took the menus from us, and as I watched Jared pour himself a glass of dark red liquid, I decided to strike up a conversation that would hopefully shed some light on our upcoming wedding and Jayden. It took me a few precious minutes to gather my courage and organize my thoughts, but I finally went ahead with it.I started the conversation with a light topic. “How was Europe?”Jared quietly observed the interior design of the restaurant and kept doing so as he answered. “Warm,” he said, “and dirtier than I imagined. But also incredibly beautiful in moments I didn't think possible.”“How so?” I asked.“I often hitchhike with my group of friends,” he told me as he raised the wine glass to his lips. He took a slow sip, his eyes
Ashley POVAs Jared and I walked out of the building, I spotted David parked and waiting in the car. But instead of going over to him, Jared stopped at the end of the concrete steps and pulled out a small red cardboard package. It was an automatic action, I could see that, from the way he pulled a lighter from the same pocket and pointed it at the cigarette already tucked between his lips.“Wait,” I chided, ”You can't smoke in here.”He glanced at me. “Why not?” he muttered, stroking his cigarette.Peeking over my shoulder, I glanced at the security guard outside the entrance. “That's illegal,” I said after making sure they weren't watching us.He didn't speak, but his lighter stopped halfway to his lips.“I'm not joking,” I continued. “It's illegal in almost all public places.”“I see.” He hurriedly lowered the lighter and stuffed the cigarette into his shirt pocket. “Where else can I go?”“Er.” I scratched my cheek and looked around for the smoking booth shyly. I didn't find one. “G
Ashley POVSmartly dressed in a suit and tie and polished leather shoes, Jared stood outside the apartment entrance, looking like he was ready to walk the red carpet. He had just finished shaving, revealing a clean jaw, and his dark hair was stylishly combed to the side along the neatly cut sides of his head. The scent of men's cologne and aftershave mingled with the sweet scent of flowers coming from the large bouquet of red roses he held in his left hand. I could see gold on his cuff and silver and black leather on his left wrist, which indicated a watch, and probably an expensive one.Compared to how he looked yesterday, for a moment I thought that I was hallucinating.Jared was also checking me out but seemed unfazed as my eyes were glued to him. “Good evening,” he greeted in a stiff, flat voice.“Hi,” I replied plainly. “Is David here too?”“He's waiting in the car.” Jared stepped closer to me and handed me the flowers. “Here. This is for you.”The bundle of roses was surprisingl
Ashley POV“Ash! You home?”Quickly walking back to the entrance, I found Jayden crouching down and untying his shoelaces. He looked up at me, and despite his caramel brown eyes looking heavy with fatigue, his lips curved into a smile. “Did I just wake you up?”“It's Saturday,” I replied automatically. “Who cares if I wear pajamas all day? You look exhausted though,” I added, a little softer.He snorted. “Hunter's a tough trainer,” he replied as he got up and wriggled out of his boots. “But never mind, I'm starving and smell like shit. Let me shower first before we warm things up.”“About that...” I averted my gaze as a pair of curious caramel brown eyes immediately focused on me. “I have plans tonight.”“Oh?”I scratched my arm. “Yeah. With Jared. He'll pick me up around six.”“From here?”I nodded stiffly.“Okay. Looks like I'll have to eat the leftovers alone, then.”I looked up, stunned, and saw him smiling at me before he darted past me and into the bathroom. I had no idea what k
Ashley POVIt was almost eleven hours later when my eyelids finally snapped open. With a big yawn, I sat up in bed and stretched my upper body before dragging myself to the kitchen. The extra bed was empty as I walked by, and as I poured myself a glass of water, I spotted that there were already dishes in the sink.“Jayden?” I called out hesitantly.Hell, no. He wasn't there.As much as I was instantly relieved when I realized that, I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a little sad. After all, it was surprisingly lonely having breakfast alone.And despite all the decisions yesterday, I still wanted to see him.The most likely scenario was that Jayden had left for a choreography dance rehearsal with his bandmates, especially since it had become such a routine that he no longer told me that he would be gone for most of the day. It was just that I felt it was a good idea to check the messages on my phone, just in case. And so, after making some warm oatmeal to satisfy my ravenous hunger,
Ashley POV“It's never going to be what you want,” I said softly. “I have my responsibilities and duties as the heiress of Red Moon Inc. just as you have your responsibilities and duties as, you know, Jayden Keller... the hunky celebrity and the golden man.”I sneaked a glance at him, trying to elicit a smile from him, but his face remained stony. His eyes showed no emotion. In the end, I had to look away again. “I have to put my parents and the company first,” I continued, “while you have to put your band members and your image first. Nothing is more important than that to you and me.”“Being forced into marriage is nothing,” I said candidly. “It's just like a drop in the ocean compared to what my parents have sacrificed and done and still continue to do. It's a star in the entire galaxy compared to how hard my grandfather fought and struggled throughout his life to establish this company. And while it's mostly a marriage of convenience now, it's not a bad deal. At least I know Jared