Ashley POVThe song ended, and Jayden played another music video, staring intensely at the TV screen. I gave a sigh and leaned back as far as I could on the couch. There was an invisible weight resting on my shoulders, and I felt like it was about to get heavier. I had managed to put this whole task aside until then, having spent a relatively smooth week with hiding Jayden's identity. But seeing all those headlines, realizing that the world knew about Jayden's accident and that there were people like Eva who, without them knowing, were relying on my efforts and hard work, really made me feel small.After dinner, I went to study while Jayden took his seldom-used tablet and watched the old BHB show. He was already asleep by the time I finished and I fell asleep shortly after. The next morning, he informed me that my dad was making an emergency trip back to London for an unspecified amount of time, and my mom would probably follow on Sunday.For the next three and a half weeks, nothing h
Ashley POV“Don't even try,” he hissed. "You and your family have more than enough money to buy a small town. Why can't you use those resources to piss me off?”“Because I'm a good person?” I was tempted to turn on the wall lamp behind me, but as much as I wanted to see Jayden acting irrationally, I didn't want to see his expression which was definitely harsh and cold. He was too good at it.After a horribly long pause, he broke the silence with a small laugh. “Never been an optimist, have you?”It took a while before I came to my senses as to what was really going on. I groaned in annoyance. “Have you been joking all this time?”“Yes,” he said cheerfully.“You idiot!”He laughed out loud. It had been a long time since I'd heard him laugh like that, and the happy sound warmed my heart, sinking into my bones. “Well, can you really blame me? I want to see how much dedication you have. Besides, I also wanted to see if I could still lie to you if I needed to.”“Sadistic bastard,” I grumbl
Ashley POVIt was during lunch the next day that I decided to make a rather critical phone call. Sneaking into the bathroom at the coffee shop where Eva wanted to have lunch, I left her with Sarah, who was studying at a nearby art university. We had only met Sarah a few minutes earlier but already felt comfortable sharing a table with our cell phones in hand. In fact, I felt a little relieved to be there with Sarah, despite the many things to take care of related to BHB and the ongoing discussions about an upcoming sleepover. Just hope that Eva hadn't noticed that I'd gone to the bathroom for longer than usual.After taking care of the usual business, I found myself in an unexpected dilemma. Biting my lower lip, I stared at the familiar names on my phone screen. Which member would be the most appropriate to talk to?I really had no idea. For almost a minute, I read the names over and over again, trying to remember the details of the dinner at their apartment. This decision wasn't easy
Ashley POVI gulped again, not responding. I didn't know what to say to brighten the somber mood that had suddenly enveloped this phone conversation. As much as I had witnessed Jayden's behavior over the past few weeks and realized how much his condition had been getting worse, both mentally and physically, despite our best efforts, I had never really thought about how the other BHB members felt about this situation. And really, why should I? They had nothing to do with me personally; they were just celebrities that my best friend happened to worship.But really, who am I kidding? I knew the reason why I felt so bad for them, even just over a phone call. Why did the hurt in their voices and answers evoked such great feelings of sympathy in me?Because of him. Because of Jayden, I started to care even for his group mates. What has he done to me?Silence fell over the conversation again, albeit shorter this time. Jamie's light, relaxed voice finally broke the silence. “We will be there,
Ashley POVClasses went by quickly that day, probably because of the sudden, harsh cold. The last class was canceled, so I was able to leave almost an hour earlier than I expected. However, to my surprise, I didn't find Jayden practicing dance with a sloppy style or delving deeper into his past life as an idol.Instead, I found him sitting cross-legged on the newly cleaned wooden floor of my parents' living room, right under the smart TV hanging on the wall. All around him were scattered cutouts of news articles, pictures, and thick photo albums almost equivalent to the size of his calves, poking out of rolled-up sweatpants. In front of him, just an arm's length away, was a large white box, filled with more photos and documents.I leaned against the doorway that connected the living room to the hallway, watching Jayden who was still engrossed in hunching over an old photo album that was open on his lap. "Snooping around, are we?" I teased.Jayden smiled slightly, still looking at the
Ashley POVI sucked in a deep breath, trying to find the right words to respond, but before I could open my mouth, he cut me off again.“They will be here soon,” he said quickly, his tone of voice firmer now. “We should probably order some food soon, and I should get dressed.”“Fine,” I said quietly, following his cue to change the subject. It was clear he didn't want to talk about this further, and even though I wanted to know more about what he was really feeling, I knew that this wasn't the right time. The rest of the Boyz Hits Bullets would be arriving in less than an hour, and I could feel the terrible pressure building up on my shoulders. They were the key to helping Jayden recover his memory or at least help him return to his dream as a famous singer. I knew I had to stay calm, but the closer the time got, the more nervous I felt like I was taking a college entrance exam.Though the other BHB members were usually nice people, or at least most of them weren't bad, I had no idea
Ashley POVEva Williams. She's been my best friend since I was eleven and she was twelve. The girl who practically forced her friendship on a lonely, loud-mouthed rich girl, which was me until I finally gave in and accepted the friendship. I never expected to have a best friend like her, who with all her flaws became a comfort to me in the midst of my loneliness. She tormented me with her excessive admiration for a boy band, Boyz Hits Bullets, which frankly never caught my attention. On the other hand, she was the only person who had never fought with me, though she wasn't afraid to challenge or express her own opinions either. That made me respect her, more than anyone else.Eva was a petite girl who had lost her father due to cancer, leaving her with younger siblings who didn't even remember their father and a mother who struggled with financial matters. Somehow, though, Eva always managed to keep smiling. She was my senior, but she refused to be called ‘senior.’ She could cry tears
Ashley POVAs they passed him by, Jayden was not looking at the six of them, but I could see his jaw clenching and his fingers wringing over the handle of the bag. Worry clouded my heart as I stepped out of the doorway and into the elevator lobby to let the six guys through. In my head, I sent out a short prayer to whoever might hear it, hoping that if this night didn't bring any luck, at least it wouldn't turn out badly or painfully.Please, good fortune.“Where to?”Hunter stopped right in front of me, making the other BHB boy band members stop as well, and his eyes were level with mine. He smiled reassuringly, and despite sounding carefree, I could hear the worry in his tone.“Just follow that hallway,” I hastily told him while gesturing over my shoulder. "The kitchen is on the right, there's water, both sparkling and flavored in the second fridge. You can take whatever you want. There's a dining room opposite, to the north, where we can sit, and two bathrooms at the end of the hal
Ashley POVThe next day on the way to the first classroom, Eva abruptly lunged at me outside the main building. Although I had expected it, she still managed to catch me by surprise as she pulled me to the side of the road.“Is it true?” she asked, her voice trembling with anticipation. She was wearing a light midnight blue coat with a hint of red on her lips and nails. “Are they really going out?”“Yes,” I replied simply, trying to release her grip on my wrist, but her grip was strong, and alas, so was she.“Do you have any idea what this means? For them as celebrities? For the industry as a whole?”“Eva,” I scolded sternly as several passersby looked at me curiously. “Our class starts in less than five minutes. Do we really have to do this now?”“Now or later during class, you decide.”“You're a nasty friend.”“Say it for both of us then.”Realizing that she wasn't going to give in, I gave up on getting away from her with a loud groan. Instead, I pulled her further out of earshot an
Ashley POVKnowing that Jared still had office work to do, while I still had college work to do, we decided to go our separate ways after that. As we waited for David to arrive to pick me up, Jared went to the nearest secluded area where he could smoke a cigarette, while I checked my phone to see if there were any notifications.To my astonishment, Jayden had sent me a picture of his bandage-free, pink-colored right arm, with a text.16.45 - Freedom! They told me not to worry too much about the arm, but it was technically healed and functioning again. Time to see if I can get you in a wrestling match again.I gave a small snort in reply, but the smile that appeared on my face was lighter than air.17.58 - I never lost when we were kids. Don't try to trick me. I'm not going to strangle your freshly recovered arm either, you idiot.His reply comes shortly after.18.00 - Come on! Live up to your nickname, Miss Violent! When are you coming home?It seems like he's in a happy mood, but I c
Ashley POVHis perspective reminded me of how Miles would explain things. It felt like he was making a valid point, yet there was one crucial element he was missing. And that was...“My convictions,” I said honestly.Jared’s expression remained unchanged, surprisingly, but I thought I caught a flicker of surprise— or maybe even admiration— in his eyes. Then he blinked, and whatever it was, it disappeared. “I see,” he said. “But I stand by my intentions. One day, I want to love you.”I felt my cheeks heat up. Jared carefully placed a hand atop my head, and as he smiled at me, there was a shyness in his expression that I never would have imagined coloring anything he said or did. The weight of his gaze remained steady, yet it was mingled with such earnest determination that it left me almost incapable of looking away.Oh, how my heart raced wildly when he spoke his next words.“And hopefully, you’ll come to do the same for me.”Before I could react, Jared stepped away, glancing at Sylvi
Ashley POVI frowned at him, but he simply turned his focus back to the row of displays on the shelf. My pout deepened. Even though we had spent over a month getting to know each other, the true nature of his personality as well as his past was still shrouded in mystery. Sure, I see tiny details of his differences, but I don't feel that I've gotten any deeper than just his façade. His default neutral expression and often unreadable demeanor indicated he wasn’t someone easy to approach. Yet, since he had influential and wealthy friends, I knew there had to be more behind his rigid and stoic exterior.I wondered when— or if— I would ever get to see that side of him. With time, perhaps.Maybe.“What about this one?”While my mind wandered, my body followed Jared around the jewelry store. He stood in the center of the store when he caught my attention, his gaze fixed on a set of rings that appeared slightly more special than the others due to their placement in a separate glass cube.“Whi
Ashley POVI rolled my eyes and used my other hand as a barrier to block my vision from seeing something I didn't want to see. “You'll never know,” I stated. “Better to be safe before you regret it.”“I'll go change in the bathroom,” he said with a grunt. “I just wanted you to know about the appointment.”His figure disappeared, and I let out a breath that I didn't realize I was holding. The allure of his scent was too strong for me, for some reason. “Why?” I asked without turning around.“Would you like to come along with me?”I frowned. “I can't,” I said quietly. “I'm going to see Jared that day. He and I... we're getting a ring.”It wasn't my idea, nor was it Jared's idea to do that. The first week in April, my parents returned here for a short break and to meet up with Jared before they were forced to return to London. According to my mom, their business venture there hadn't been entirely successful, and still needed more time before they came to a final agreement. Despite the bit
Ashley POVAs time ticked by, March ended and April slowly turned into May, I found myself and Jayden drifting further and further apart. It wasn't a deliberate move by either of us, or at least not a deliberate effort. It just happened.Jayden was spending more time at the dance studio, and he started coming home with a sore throat some days when he decided to hum along to the choreography. He started singing and reading the lyrics whenever he had time in my apartment, and despite me pretending not to notice, I actually did. I loved his voice, pleasant and velvety like that, soothing my mind and body. And he kept showing drastic improvement with each passing week. Also, when he wasn't dancing or singing or memorizing song lyrics, he went and exercised.“I'm getting fat,” he told me as he read comics on the extra bed one night.I was editing an essay at the time, and didn't think much of it until he mentioned it. “I guess not,” I replied bluntly with a shrug.“I've gained almost five
Ashley POVHe didn't speak, but he didn't need to. His silence was enough. However, the stubborn part of me wanted to push him to bring up the topic... more specifically, how he had been affected by his father.“What about you?” I continued cautiously.His eyes narrowed slightly as they scanned my face. “You know about Jayden,” he pointed out.I averted my eyes.“How long have you known?”He didn't sound accusatory, or angry. No, instead, there was something more familiar, something I also felt related to his... childhood.“Too long,” I replied stiffly. I didn't like being reminded of my mistakes, so I replied automatically, defensively with, “You?”“Me too.”And when my eyes locked with his, I saw that it was there. The endless shame, regret, and guilt. It reflected a part deep inside me, so much so that I could hardly bear to look at it.But I forced myself to do so. Because if I hated it, so did Jared. Yet he was brave enough to stick to his stance.Dinner ended shortly after that.
Ashley POVLooking at the menu, I already knew what I wanted to order. My mom's favorite dish at The Monarch was pasta with a sauce made from roasted oysters, so I went with that. By the time the waiter returned with our drinks, Jared and I were ready to order. She took the menus from us, and as I watched Jared pour himself a glass of dark red liquid, I decided to strike up a conversation that would hopefully shed some light on our upcoming wedding and Jayden. It took me a few precious minutes to gather my courage and organize my thoughts, but I finally went ahead with it.I started the conversation with a light topic. “How was Europe?”Jared quietly observed the interior design of the restaurant and kept doing so as he answered. “Warm,” he said, “and dirtier than I imagined. But also incredibly beautiful in moments I didn't think possible.”“How so?” I asked.“I often hitchhike with my group of friends,” he told me as he raised the wine glass to his lips. He took a slow sip, his eyes
Ashley POVAs Jared and I walked out of the building, I spotted David parked and waiting in the car. But instead of going over to him, Jared stopped at the end of the concrete steps and pulled out a small red cardboard package. It was an automatic action, I could see that, from the way he pulled a lighter from the same pocket and pointed it at the cigarette already tucked between his lips.“Wait,” I chided, ”You can't smoke in here.”He glanced at me. “Why not?” he muttered, stroking his cigarette.Peeking over my shoulder, I glanced at the security guard outside the entrance. “That's illegal,” I said after making sure they weren't watching us.He didn't speak, but his lighter stopped halfway to his lips.“I'm not joking,” I continued. “It's illegal in almost all public places.”“I see.” He hurriedly lowered the lighter and stuffed the cigarette into his shirt pocket. “Where else can I go?”“Er.” I scratched my cheek and looked around for the smoking booth shyly. I didn't find one. “G