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What's about to Drizzle
Huling Na-update:
2020-08-15 12:53:55"Marry me, Cassidy."
I looked at him dumbfounded.
"What the fuck?"
Naiinis na tiningnan ko siya. The heck, binuo niya pa talaga ang pagtawag sa akin ng gano'n?! And did I just... h-heard him right?
"Marry me," ulit niya. "You're pregnant right? Ba't mo tinago sa--"
"No," matigas na sabi ko habang sinusubukang ipanatag ang aking paghinga. My heart was beating harder but that doesn't remove the searing pain I'm starting to feel.
I looked at him. He was studying me, so I held my head up high.
How I wish I could say yes to him. How I wish he could be the man waiting for me in aisle. How I wish I can welcome him again. I've been leaving my walls down for him but that only left my heart unguarded. Vulnerable.
I let him in so deep it caused me wounds of pain that keeps bleeding everytime I remember who I was to him.That at the end of the day, I'm not the first on his list.
Should I settle for that? I smiled bitterly. I felt myself tearing up kaya umayos ako ng tayo. I won't shed tears in front of him. But avoiding to cry cause pain in my heart and my mind.
God, akala ko ba tapos na 'to?
"But--"
"I'm leaving," putol ko dahil ano mang oras ay alam kong tutulo na ang luha ko. Damn pregnancy hormones! It's making me emotional!
But even before I turned away from him, he managed to hold me on my arms. He was still looking seriously at me, trying to catch my eyes which I prevented from looking directly on his.
I just need to... end this. Ayoko nang umiyak sa harapan niya. Ayoko nang magpakatanga na kunyari wala pero meron.
I heaved a sigh as I fixed my composure. I steadied my lips that's been trembling earlier. I willed my tears to fall later but not now.
Nang alam kong kaya ko nang makipaglaban sa mga titig niya ay hinuli ko iyon. I looked straight into his eyes so he will understand every word I'm about to say.
"Nabuntis mo lang naman ako. Hindi mo naman ako mahal. So, ba't tayo magpapakasal?"
The moment he stilled on his post was the same moment I felt my fragile heart fell into the ground. Shattered into tiny pieces, I don't even know if I'm able to fix it again.
His reaction was holding too much... rejection.
I took that moment to get rid of his grip. Hindi naman ako nahirapan. I instantly faced my back into him and smiled bitterly.
He can't even hold on me for a moment. He doesn't even follow me.
Tears started to make its way on my checks.
Damn, why am I allowing you to hurt me like this?
Kaugnay na kabanata
Maybe A drizzle of Love [Filipino | Tagalog] Drizzling 00
"Nasaan ka na ba?!" Sigaw ko sa kabilang linya.Kung kailan kailangang- kailangan ko siya saka siya hindi pwede! Nakakainis!"I have an emergency.""Emergency my ass," sabi ko saka umirap. As if naman makikita niya. "Isa lang naman ang dahilan kaya mo ako natatanggihan sa emergency ko," reklamo ko, making sure I emphasized the word emergency so he will know what I mean.Tumingin ako sa harap at nakita ang sarili sa salamin. I stared at my eyes and breathe.You can do this Cassidy. You always do."Cassie—""I hate you." Putol ko sa iba niyang sasabihin saka ibinaba ang tawag.Tiningnan kong muli ang sarili sa salamin. "Seems like the only guy you allowed in your life already turned his back to you, huh?"Kinuha ko ang pouch ko saka inilabas ang mga make up. I fixed myself, not caring of other females entering the restroom. I applied some foundation and highlighted my face features more. My brows were already on flick same as my eyes which still looked fine. Then I added another layer of
Huling Na-update : 2020-08-15Maybe A drizzle of Love [Filipino | Tagalog] Drizzling 01
"Where are we going?" tanong niya agad ng makapasok ako sa sasakyan."Oh..." naglikot ang tingin ko sa paligid. "I actually don't know."I blinked and realized that I didn't have a plan. Well, I do have. Hindi lang natuloy dahil I wasn't important enough. I absent mindedly rolled my eyes. Hindi ko talaga siya papansinin. Makikita niya.Nagulat ako ng bigla na lang umandar ang sasakyan. Ikinabit ko agad ang seatbelt at tiningnan ng masama ang nasa driver's seat. Mukha naman siyang walang paki kaya sumandal na lang ako at tumingin sa labas."Why am I even with you?" I said, thinking out loud."To celebrate your birthday.""Yeah, right." Napatingin ulit ako sa sa labas. "Can we play the stereo?"Tiningnan ko siya mula sa peripheral vision ko. Hindi siya umimik pero binuksan ang radyo."Thanks. Lipat ko ha?" tanong ko dahil nagsasalita lang 'yung DJ. Saka ko lang nalaman na 12:30 AM na pala dahil sa isang advertisement. Tumango lang siya kaya naman pinindot ko 'yung next button. I pressed
Huling Na-update : 2020-08-15Maybe A drizzle of Love [Filipino | Tagalog] Drizzling 02
"You've got to be kidding me," I said as I heard what Fraille said. Even though we haven't talk much lately because of my academic and her career, we still try to make time for each other."Brent told me. Said your ex was enrolled in your university."Ugh! Of all the school in Manila, why it would be on my university!I heard something the background. Like someone was talking to Fraille. I heard her sighed heavily."Tinatawag na ako ni Derek. I'll call you later, Cass.""Okay. Thanks for informing me." Then the line went dead.I sighed heavily. I looked at the white ceiling of my room as thought came into my mind. Mason, my ex was enrolled on my university. Stellar University was huge but there's still chance that I might passed at him.I imagined Mason, walking in one of the hallways of the school, while other students were scattered all over the place. Some are facing their lockers while some are leaning there, having flirty conversation to their opposite sex. Mason was looking at me
Huling Na-update : 2020-08-15Maybe A drizzle of Love [Filipino | Tagalog] Drizzling 03
"Where are you going?""Restroom." tumango ako saka bumalik sa pagso-solve sa aking yellowpad. We're having our Mathematics in Modern World course on this afternoon. Dahil iniwan kami ng proof ay kung saan-saan na naman nakakarating ang mga classmates ko dahil sa kopyahan. I rolled my eyes.Cheating on elementary to highschool was fine for me. But really? Until college? College teach us things what are essential for our future work. Kung college pa lang ay nangongopya na at hindi naman naiintindihan 'yung mga pinapagawa, paano na sila sa work? Wala namang magpapakopya sayo roon dahil iba-iba na ang trabaho kapag nasa kompanya na, right?Nang makita kong nakaalis na ng room si Terrence ay agad akong bumaling sa gilid ko at inilahad sa kaniya ang cellphone ko. Kunot ang mga noong tumingin ito sa akin."Type your number." Tumingin-tingin ako sa pinto dahil baka biglang pumasok si Terrence at mahuli ako."Why?""Just type it!"Napipilitan niyang ibinaba ang kaniyang ballpen saka inabot ang
Huling Na-update : 2020-08-15Maybe A drizzle of Love [Filipino | Tagalog] Drizzling 04
After taking a bath and putting light make ups, lumabas na agad ako. Nakita kong nakapagpalit na rin ng damit si Zyle, siguro ay mat CR sa loob ang kwarto dahil basa rin ang buhok nito.Kinuha ko ang cellphone ko saka nagbasa ng mga lumang messages para mahanap 'yung pangalan ni Steven. He's a friend of Terrence na naging substitute niya rin nang nagpapasundo ako pauwi one time. It was really weird. I mean, Terrence and his friends. I always end up meeting them once, but Steven was with me twice. Nagulat na lang ako may number niya na lang ako. I guess Terrence gave it. Tapos ayon, nagsimula na siyang manlandi but rules are rules. He's friend with Terrence so it's a no, no.I texted him that the surprise preparation was done. Papunta na raw sila with a lot of girl friends para kay birthday boy. I shook my head. As if naman mapipilit nilang mambabae 'yon."Papunta na raw sila," I inform Zyle para alam naman niya ang mangyayari. I was seating on one of the sofa, reading the conversation
Huling Na-update : 2020-08-15Maybe A drizzle of Love [Filipino | Tagalog] Drizzling 05
Nang magising ako ay nakahiga na ako sa sofa habang nakapatong ang ulo sa mga hita ni Zyle. I groaned as the thought of what happened last night. Damn, did that really happened?"Zyle," I called to know if he's already awake. Nakasandal siya at nakapikit pa. Baka tulog pa. I closed my eyes before drifting to another slumber.Nagising akong muli dahil sa pananakit ng tagiliran. Pagdilat ko ay mga butones ang nakita ko. I looked up and realized that I am facing Zyle's abdomen. Naramdaman kong nakahawak siya sa kaliwang balikat ko. Parang nakaalalay dahil baka mahulog ako.Wait. If I am facing his abdomen and my cheeks was against his lap, then... Agad na nanlaki ang mga mata ko ng marealize ko kung ano ang posisyon ko ngayon. Shit. I was so close to his thing!Bigla akong napatayo dahilan kung bakit nahilo ako kaya napahawa ako sa aking ilo habang napapikit."Hindi mo dapat binigla 'yung pagbangon, nahilo ka tuloy." Hindi ko siya pinansin at pumikit lang. Ilang sandali lang ay nawala rin
Huling Na-update : 2020-08-15Maybe A drizzle of Love [Filipino | Tagalog] Drizzling 06
Advance Communication was another subject the three of us was taking together. Kakatapos lang mag-discuss ng prof and we had a group project for our midterm. Since the grouping was done randomly, hindi kami nakapili ng kagrupo. But fortunately for me, kagrupo si Zyle.Dahil irregular student kami, at block naman 'yung mga kagrupo namin, it was planned to be done on a weekend. Ayos naman sa sched ng lahat kay ng matapos ang meeting ay lumabas na rin kami."Should we wait for T?" I rolled my eyes while we're walking on the hallway. They've been calling each other by the first letter of their name recently. Nang tinanong ko kung bakit, tinatamad araw silang banggitin ang pangalan ng isa't isa. Like hello! Parang sobrang daming syllable naman ng pangalan nila!I saw some students glancing at us. Zyle was pretty popular since he's been writing on an online flatform and one of his stories was soon to be published. He was also part of the official theater of the university kaya naman familiar
Huling Na-update : 2020-08-15Maybe A drizzle of Love [Filipino | Tagalog] Drizzling 07
Gabi na nang matapos kami sa ginagawawang project. Pinilit na rin kasi namin tapusin ngayon para hindi hassle at focus na lang sa kaniya-kaniyang majors."Fel, magpahatid ka na. anong oras na.""Rizz, saan ka ba?""Chin, ikaw?"Napairap ako dahil ang tagal nila magdesisyon kung sino ang maghahatid sa kung kanino dahil pauwi na at gabi pa. Delikado na raw kasi kaya the guys are insisting kung saan-saan ang mga bahay habang nananahimik lang ako."I'll go na," sabi ko na lang kaya napatingin sila sa akin. Parang doon lang nila nalaman na nandoon ako. Hindi ko na sila inintay dahil lumabas na ako sa bahay ng kagrupo namin. Zyle wasn't there dahil nag-CR muna bago umalis. Nabagot na lang ako sa usapan nila ng hatiran.I started walking out of the village. Sa gate na lang ako mag-aabang mg grab since hindi ko rin dala ang sasakyan ko.Umihip ang hangin kaya napayakap ako sa sarili. Madilim na pero may mga streetlight naman. Wala na ring kotse sa daan pero may iilang dumadaan. The silence was
Huling Na-update : 2020-08-15
Pinakabagong kabanata
Maybe A drizzle of Love [Filipino | Tagalog] Chapter 23
I cried silently on the playground knowing that no one can see me at this state. Hindi ko malaman kung gaano na ako katagal sa ganoong posisyon pero nakaramdam ako na parang may nakatingin sa akin. Tinanggal ko ang aking mga palad sa aking mata at nagulat sa bumungad sa akin. I abruptly wiped the tears away.Sitting in front of me was Zyle. Nakaupo ito isang metro ang layo sa akin sa madamong lapag. Ang kaniyang tuhod ay nakadikit sa dibdib. Nakapatong naman ang mga braso sa tuhod nito. His chin was resting on his crossed arms while his eyes were watching me. I can't see any reaction from his face because of darkness. "What are you doing here?"Kanina pa ba siya nandito? Bakit hindi ko nalaman? Saka paano niya nalamang nandito ako?"Are you crying?"I don't even know why he was asking. He obviously knew that I was crying. I have a hunch that he's been here for a while, watching me cry but he never want me to recognize his existence, so he kept silent. Because if he does, Edi sana nala
Maybe A drizzle of Love [Filipino | Tagalog] Drizzling 22
"T-terrence.""Cass?" I imagined him frown just by his tone. Maybe because he heard me stuttered. "How's your date?"Hindi ko pinansin ang sinabi niya. "Terrence won't you really go home t-tonight?" My voice broke kaya agad kong tinakpan ang bibig, habang nararamdaman ang pagtulo ng luha sa aking mga mata."Cass, are you okay?""No." I cried silently. I was in a cubicle of a mall I passed by when I received the call...I...I don't even know what I should be thinking right now."Where are you? Is Zyle with you?""Just answer me if you can't really come home," I said stubbornly while wiping my tears away. "Please," I murmured."Cass," he called my name and I knew that he was really conflicted whether or not he'll come.I sniffed. "It's okay." Whatever it was he was doing, I knew it was important. "I'll wait you tomorrow then I'll tell you.""Are you sure? Cass if you want--""No. I'll be fine. Do your job t-there and come back ASAP.""Sure. Stay in the unit, okay?" He reminded me worrie
Maybe A drizzle of Love [Filipino | Tagalog] Drizzling 21
There are things that you'll do without second thoughts. But there are also things you'll do without thinking at all. And most of the time, you'll end up regretting doing it on the first place.I was hugging Terrence all the time as we made our way home. More like, hiding my face on his chest."We're heading in," Terrence said as we stood in front of our door. I was still hiding on him, somehow, trying to act drunk.
Maybe A drizzle of Love [Filipino | Tagalog] Drizzling 20
Napaawang ang mga labi ko ng marinig ang sinabi niya. Ibinaba ko ang aking cellphone saka tumingin sa kaniya na nakahiga sa gitna. "Nasaan 'yung mga kasama mo?" I asked with a frown. I looked at the seat but there's no evidence that someone was here. "I told you, umuwi ka na,” he said instead of answering me. "Sumabay ka na nga sa aki
Maybe A drizzle of Love [Filipino | Tagalog] Drizzling 19
CHAPTER 13Time flew fast. Parang kahapon lang, kakasimula lang ng taon. Ngayon, nasa ikahuling buwan na.Being a third year student in a university having trimestral term wasn't easy. Kaliwa't kanan ang mga gawain lalo na at malapit na kami sa goal: ang makapagtapos. Isang taon pa at pagkatapos noon, we will enter a new chapter of our life. I'll surely miss being in school one of those time when I'm in the industry."Zyle, I can't
Maybe A drizzle of Love [Filipino | Tagalog] Drizzling 18
Kinabukasan, maaga kaming umalis ng university para maagang makapunta sa elementary school. Pagdating roon ay dalawang classroom ng grade 2 ang aming mga nakita. I smiled at their tiny height and sweet smiles. They are falling in line and greeted us in unison, like how they greet their teacher in a slow manner.The program started with a prayer. Some remarks that obviously couldn’t understood by the grade school and then some lectures. We also gave them food before we started the Palarong Pinoy.
Maybe A drizzle of Love [Filipino | Tagalog] Drizzling 17
Every in the room was busy, preparing packed things we are going to donate on a school that was assigned to our class. We are having our outreach program for our NSTP. We’re lucky we’re allowed to do it already even before we had our midterms exams. It will be tomorrow; we are distributing them to the chosen public elementary and prepared a small program for the kids.On the past weeks, everything happened like days are flashing before our eyes. Like how buildings pass on my sight while we are making our way home. Terrence was MIA again. His engineering life always get his time for us that even on weekends, wala siya sa condo.
Maybe A drizzle of Love [Filipino | Tagalog] Drizzling 16
Both of them looked at me with amusement in their eyes. "Talaga, ate?!"A smile drawn into my lips. They look cute with their eyes wide and innocent faces na wala man lang make-up. Meron pa palang natitirang ganito sa kabataan ngayon. I mean, mostly kasi sa panahon ngayon, as early as Grade 10 'ata, nagme-make up na. Pero silang dalawa, ang natural lang."Yeah.""Wow! Anong pangalan mo ate?!"The conversation instantly turned to me and my modelling journey. Sumabay pa sila sa paglalakad namin hanggang sa theater room ng university kasi kailangan na ni Zyle makapunta at baka ma-late ito. Pareho naman kami ng dadaanan kaya sumabay na sila."Thanks, Kuya Z!""Oo nga kuya, sayo rin ate Cass! I'm your new fan na po." Napatawa ako sa sinabi nila."I'm hoping to see you two more. Bagay po talaga kayo!""True! Ang cute n'yo po. Nice to meet you po!""Nice to meet you rin," I said to them."Mauna na kami!""Bye po!" Kumaway sila sa amin at ganoon rin ako habang nakangiti at pinapanood silang um
Maybe A drizzle of Love [Filipino | Tagalog] Drizzling 15
The second term already started. Tulad pa rin nang unang term, magkakasama pa rin kaming tatlo nila Terrence sa minor courses maliban sa isa—NSTP. He already got that course on his freshman year unlike us.Wala rin naman masyasdong ginagawa doon kaya okay lang. Kailangan nga lang namin ng output at the end of the term."Bored?" Zyle murmured on my side."Obviously."Grabe, akala ko talaga dati hindi na uso reporting sa college. Akala ko free cut lagi. 'Yung papasok ka lang kapag trip mo basta naiintindihan mo 'yung mga lessons. 'yung wala ng attendance sa grading system. 'yung wala na hula at palakasan system.I had high hopes in college, I know.Inilahad ko sa kaniya ng pulso ko. He was sitting on my left. Tapos may katabi pa siyang tatlo malapit sa aisle."Draw me a tattoo," I said randomly.Ipinatong niya 'yung kamay ko sa desk niya. "Anything?"Tumango ako at nilingon 'yung prof namin na nagse-cellphone lang. I rolled my eyes. Palibhasa ay hindi niya trip 'yung nasa harap na estudy
