CHAPTER 2.

What do you do when you start hearing voices in your head? You shut up and tell no one.

“So, you’re just going to ignore me and act like I’m not here?” Lola asked while I sat quietly at the table, having breakfast with my mum.

It had only been a few hours since I first heard her in my head, but it felt like a lifetime. She was getting way too loud, and it was making me agitated.

“I’m not the one making you angry, our kind is just naturally aggressive.” She said again, this time in a mocking tone.

I gripped the handle of my fork and gritted my teeth, trying to pay attention to what my mother was saying. She was talking, but I could barely hear her. She was saying something about my birthday, probably planning something fun we could both do together, like always.

She was my favorite person in the whole world and the one person I could always count on. I knew whatever she had in store for today was going to be amazing, but I just couldn’t bring myself to be excited.

“Honey, are you okay?” She asked, breaching into my subconscious.

I blinked, shifting where I sat. “Yeah, mum, I’m good.”

“I was asking if there’s anything specific you’d like to do today.”

“Oh,” I muttered, picking at the special pancakes she made for me. “No, I’m fine with whatever you want to do.”

She gave me a kind look. “Are you sure?”

I forced a smile. “Yes, mum. I always have fun with you.”

She smiled, getting up to grab the jacket I had dumped on the kitchen counter. “Make sure you cover up, It’s really cold outside.”

“I will,” I took the jacket from her and put it on, gave her a kiss on the cheek and hurried out of the house before she could notice I was indeed not okay.

“Be home early, darling. Remember we have plans later today.” She called out to me.

I was expecting to be hit by the cold immediately I stepped out of the house, instead the weather felt like every other day. Although I felt warm, the sky was cloudy. I stood outside the door for about a minute, waiting for the air to shift.

But it never did.

“We don’t feel cold,” Lola broke the silence.

I groaned, ignoring her and taking off my jacket.

I pulled out my car keys and jumped into the car, started the engine and drove to school. My car was my baby, it was probably one of the reasons everyone noticed me when I was a freshman. I had learnt to drive at the age of fifteen and gotten my license by sixteen. The next day, my mum came home with a brand new Mazda. I was so excited, I never questioned how we were able to afford it. My mum was all I had, she was a school counselor, but she always made sure I got everything I wanted.

One time, when I asked how we could afford our own house and two cars, she said it was from an inheritance. That was enough for me to stop asking. I’ve never met my mum’s family, and frankly, I didn’t want to.

If they cared, they would be in our lives.

My best friend, Ella, was already waiting at the spot where we parked right next to each other. She was leaning on her car, her head bowed as she typed away on her phone. She looked up when I came to a halt, her face lighting up with joy.

“Happy birthday, bestie.” She greeted me as soon as I stepped out of my car, rushing over to my side to give me a hug.

“Thanks Elle,” I smiled at her. It was the first real smile I was putting on since Lola barged into my life.

“I have something for you,” She announced, grinning. Her smile was so wide, it took up half her face.

For a while, I forgot about the voice in my head and let myself enjoy this moment. She took out a wrapped little box and handed it to me.

“Open it,” she urged, barely able to contain her excitement.

I obeyed, tearing through until I was staring at a black jewelry box. I looked at Ella again, and this time she had her lower lip folded into her mouth, waiting in anticipation for my reaction. Inside the box was a gold heart locket with our faces in it.

“Oh my God, you hate it!” She exclaimed suddenly, clasping her hand over her mouth. “Is it too cheesy? It’s too cheesy, isn’t it?”

“Tell her it is,” Lola’s voice echoed in my head.

It was my fault for thinking she was finally gone for good. I shook her out of my thoughts, taking Ella’s hand. “No, I love it. It’s perfect.”

“Are you sure?” She asked softly.

“Yes, Elle. It’s beautiful.”

Lola growled within me. “It’s a safe gift, she didn’t even try. Plus, she managed to make it about herself too.”

“Shut up,” I said under my breath.

“What?” Ella asked, giving me a concerned look.

I flashed her a forced smile. “I was just wondering if you could help me put it on.”

After that, Ella and I walked into the school, where another surprise was waiting for me as soon as I opened my locker. Several balloons floated out, there was a card with a basket of chocolates and other sweets sitting on top of my books.

Then, a set of hands covered my eyes.

“Happy birthday, my love.” A voice whispered into my ears. But this time, I wasn’t terrified or confused.

It was the one single voice I’d been dying to hear all day, the only voice that could assure me that everything was going to be okay.

“Shawn!” I said excitedly, turning around to give him a kiss. “I missed you.”

“Babe, you saw me last night.” He cupped my cheeks, laughing a little.

“I know, but I’d rather see you everyday.”

He bent down to give me another kiss. “I have a surprise for you, but there’s a catch.”

I furrowed my brows, smiling. “Another surprise? What is it?”

“I can only show you tonight, in your room.” He said, then whispered into my ear. “Wear something sexy.”

My face went red.

Shawn was the only guy capable of making me nervous, he was one of those guys who could make anything look good, even without trying. He was the captain of the basketball team and the most popular boy at school, so it was only appropriate that we ended up together.

But that wasn’t why I liked him. Underneath all that hard jock exterior, he was a big softie. We never argued, never had a reason not to trust each other. We’d been together for more than a year, and it was perfect.

We were perfect.

Before I could respond, Lola made a snappy remark. “Really, Astra? This is who you settled for?”

I frowned, tightening my grasp on my bag. What did she mean by that? Shawn is a total sweetheart. Handsome, tall, has a good smile. What’s there to settle for?

“Babe, are you okay?”

“Huh?”

“You look tense,” Shawn said, his gaze fixed on me. “Did I say something wrong?”

I shook my head quickly. “I was just thinking of what I would wear tonight. Don’t be late, okay?”

He smiled, gave me a kiss on the forehead and walked away to join his teammates. I stood there for a second, until Ella suggested we head to class. I nodded, following her like a zombie.

Which was how I spent the rest of the day. Nodding, waving and murmuring ‘thank you’ without really being present. Occasionally, Lola would make a remark, and all that did was take me further away from reality.

Was this what the rest of my life was going to be like? Constantly having to filter the voice in my head? And somehow it felt like the entire school was unreasonably louder today, it was giving me a headache.

By the time the last bell rang, I was already miserable. Almost everyone had noticed and commented on my mood switch today. During lunch, I had yelled three times for everyone in the cafeteria to keep it down. As a result, they were all keeping their distance, including Ella, who I’d convinced my attitude probably had to do with my incoming period.

I sighed as soon as I entered my car, contemplating in my head. Was this secret going to cost me?

“You can always talk to me about whatever you’re going through,” Lola commented.

“You’re the reason I’m going through stuff,” I snapped. “I just want to get home, hang out with my mum, and wait for my boyfriend to show up tonight.”

And maybe talk my mum into having a party this weekend. At least it would make everything seem normal.

I’m not sure how long it took me to get home, I was barely paying attention. The moment I stepped out of my car, I knew something was wrong. I couldn’t explain it, but the air just smelt different, which was unusual to me.

There was an unfamiliar scent in the air, and as I got closer to the front door, it grew stronger. I opened the door and walked in, then paused halfway through the hall to the stairs.

There was a man standing next to my mother in the sitting room, she turned to look at me as soon as she noticed my presence, her eyes red and puffy from crying. Her hands were filled with tissue paper, and she was slightly shaking.

“Mum? What’s going on?” I asked, still standing on the spot.

She gave me a sad look, sniffing. “Honey, your father has come to take you away.”